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Kelri Irris

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Posts posted by Kelri Irris

  1. Interoffice Memo System


    To: Aliyobi

    From: Aittera Timmons


    It has been brought to my attention that the term "midget" is politically incorrect. Pursuant to getting that reaction out of Kelri, may I suggest "munchkin" instead? I used it in the hall just now, and the look on her face was priceless. Enjoy. You owe me a bottle of whiskey.

  2. The sound of a knock at the door drew Angel's attention from the paperwork she had been struggling to focus on. “Come.”


    The door opened, and her head of security stepped in. Alex's “tough-as-nails”, experienced friend had turned out to be a woman who worked as a bodyguard of considerable reputation named Sheridan Zila, and someone Angel had come to like. She had traveled to Earth from another world – a common enough occurrence in Paragon City with companies like Portal Corp poking around – and her story about her history with a mage and an inhuman lover had come across as a bit lacking, but it had a ring of truth to it that Angel had found entertaining. Some girls had all the luck. 


    “I finished the security analysis we talked about, and there are a couple of members of your 'management team' that I'd like to discuss,” Zila was saying. 


    “Let me guess,” Angel replied. “Ali.”


    “Number one on the list, admittedly,” Sheridan nodded, taking a seat opposite the redhead. “Not that I don't appreciate the use of a thief to catch a thief, but are you sure you want someone with this kind of temperament representing your company?”


    Angel shrugged as though the question was irrelevant. “Ali's fine, as long as you know the rules.”


    “You realize her image keeps mysteriously erasing itself from every database we have?”


    “I have a theory that she found a way to get a virus running loose that somehow sniffs out every mug shot and surveillance photo she's associated with and liberates it from PD records,” Angel said as if the thought itself amused her. In truth, she'd had Dani write such a useful bit of code, but Sheridan didn't need to know that. “Protecting her identity works for us, though. She likes using her little personas in confidence games.” 


    “She's violent,” Sheridan asserted. “What are the rules? Don't be on the wrong side of her fist?”


    “Rule number one: No touching without permission unless you want a broken hand,” Angel answered flatly. “I suspect abuse in her background. Which brings me to number two: Don't let her think you might be doing a psych profile of her. I think she had a bad run-in with a shrink somewhere along the way.” 


    “So, is Aliyobi the only psychopath we employ?” Sheridan was suddenly asking with a grim look. 


    “Have you met my sister yet?” Angel asked, whether to change the subject or answer the question intentionally left unclear.  


    “Aittera is the only reason you have paperwork clearing your company to function under a hero organization license. Please tell me you're not suggesting--” 


    “No,” Angel laughed, raising a hand to stop Zila mid-sentence. “No, I'm just...sure she has her own opinions on who has a screw loose around here. Besides, I thought we were covered on multiple fronts for that angle. My license should still be valid, and then, there's Alex...”


    “You didn't want to use his license,” Sheridan supplied. 


    “No, I didn't want to rely on it. There's a difference. Besides, he led me to believe that he could bypass any basic legalities with that whole floor of lawyers that I keep avoiding upstairs.”


    “Yeah, I'm not comfortable with that part of whatever this business is supposed to be,” the brunette admitted. 


    “Pretty sure that means you're one in the not-psycopath lane,” replied Angel with a smirk. “You realize that your little ride-along would make you a security risk for a lot of people in your position. How would you like that addressed?”


    Sheridan's expression soured. “I was hoping that disclosing the existence of the essence of my former associate would be seen as an act of transparency. I signed the papers assuming responsibility for it and intend to keep it under control so that it does not become an issue.”


    “And my motley little crew of misfits are my problem,” Angel asserted. “Like your ex-boyfriend, they can be managed, and that's something I am confident that I can do. Ali is a thief, but she has a very specific way she sees the world.” 


    “So, what happens when you want her to recover something she would like to own for herself?” 


    “She would return it, because she wasn't the one who stole it in the first place,” Angel answered matter-of-factly. 


    “So, she'll return it so she can steal it herself?”


    “Now, you're catching on. In Ali's world, the theft is the fun part, not the possession.” 


    “I'm beginning to think you employ psychopaths because you understand them best,” Sheridan observed in a quiet, almost appreciative tone.


    “I wouldn't put it past me,” came the boss's response.  

  3. The four essentials of being a PI, according to Maxwell Timmons, were punching, kicking, drinking, and talking shit. 


    Angel groaned as she looked over at the empty bourbon bottle that lay among the shattered glass that had once been a tasteful coffee table. “Well, that's one down.” 


    She pushed herself to her feet with a groan, her head pounding harder with the effort, and found her way to the kitchen perhaps by willpower alone. It had been a while since she'd done something as stupid as attempting to drown herself in a bottle of cheap booze, and she could swear that just made the hangover altogether worse. It was like being out of practice. 


    She reached for the refrigerator handle to retrieve a bottled water, and several impressions swarmed her senses at once. She was swinging a fist at her sister's jaw, determined to stop her mid-insult, and received a boot to the gut in return that sent her into the wall. There was an overlaying impression from what felt like a lifetime ago with tears streaming down Aittera's face as she tried to tell Angel how sorry she was. And to round it out, another of the smoking wreckage of a council base that the two of them had just managed to get clear of before the detonation of the bombs they'd planted. Each experience played itself out at the same time, and not just sight, but sound, touch, and smell. 


    Angel wretched and ran for the bathroom. 


    A few minutes later, she found herself sitting on the cool tile, looking down at the ripped glove on her left hand. It was pretty shitty to experience someone else's memories through her “gift”, but to get a blast that was full on the reason she'd gotten drunk in the first place was just...


    “A reason for another drink?” she asked the empty bathroom in a gravelly voice, wincing at the volume and harshness of the sound.


    Punching and kicking. Check. There had been lots of both.


    She did her best to erect some basic mental protection on her way to the bedroom to replace the torn glove, then spent the next hour getting herself cleaned up and re-hydrated. The unpretentious apartment had only been hers for a few weeks, but clearly, she'd made an impression by way of psychic imprint. She might think of that as impressive, but she imagined it was a product of putting together her “management team” and her determination to make the new company a success. 


    Aittera was the natural choice for chasing down missing persons cases, especially in those situations where leads were not easy to come by due to things like lapsed time or the desire to stay missing. Her attention to detail and ability to produce a workable – and often accurate – profile on the fly was uncanny. As a hero, she had aided in capturing criminals thought long gone, and luckily for Angel, she had a soft spot for missing kids (which would likely be a large part of their caseload). It was that last angle that she had used to get her sister to the door. 


    Then, the long overdue reunion had gone pretty much the way she had figured it might go. There was a reason it had been over a year since they'd spoken. Angel had lost her best and oldest friend. Aittera had lost her fiancée and the ideals that came with putting on the cape. Despite the history (and blame) between them, the previous night had resulted in Aittera agreeing to work at Hi-Caliber after a complex negotiating process that involved trading insults, fighting, and an alcohol-fueled pseudo therapy session she could barely remember. 


    Talking shit. Check.


    Dad would be proud.    

  4. “Hello?”


    “Hey, Dani! It's Angel.”


    “Angel! How've you been?” 


    “I'm alright. How about you? School should be almost done, right?”


    “A couple of weeks, yeah. Need help on a case?”


    “Well, no, not per say. I'm sort of expanding the business.” 


    “Did Gary's Bail Bonds move?” 


    **laughter** “Uh...no, it's still there. A friend of mine had an idea to turn Timmons Investigations into a kind of security firm slash private investigations slash...some kind of merc---I don't know what to call it, so I'm just going with it. We're calling it Hi-Caliber Solutions.” 


    “Oh that's kinda...that's a dumb name. I mean I get the whole dual meaning behind  'caliber', but seriously, the only way it could be any worse would be if you misspelled part of it.” 


    “Apparently, the g and h wouldn't fit on the sign.” 






    “Oh crap, you didn't.” 


    “I didn't! This was not my idea!” 


    **more laughter**


    “It's...grown on me actually.”


    **still laughing** “Yeah, sounds like something Tom would have suggested now that I think about it. How can I help?”


    “I don't know if you've got a job lined up already, but--”


    “YES! Wait, no...maybe.”


    “Those are pretty much the three options there. If it helps you pick one, you won't be a secretary like before. You'd be THE computer chick, full stop.” 


    “No, I mean yes, I want to come work with you again, but I need one – no, TWO – favors.”


    “Name them.” 


    “I want you to drive up for my wedding next week.” 


    “Way to bury the lead! Where was my invitation before this?”


    “Oh, we're not having like...a wedding, wedding. More like we had a friend get ordained online, and we're getting together with a couple of friends to be witness-slash-maids of honor. It's a real low-key thing, and we'll have a real one for an anniversary or something when we can afford it.”


    “Plus your mom doesn't know?”


    “You know she'd tell me that I'm too young and all that stuff, but Angel, she's amazing, and I've never been this happy. She's super smart, and she's adorable, and she is the best thing that's ever happened to me. You are going to love her. Everyone loves her. I want you to meet her so you can give me the second favor as a wedding present.” 


    “My blessing as your godmother in lieu of your mother or a job for your fiancée too?”


    “Okay, three favors.” 


    **laughter** “Who am I to stand in the way of true love? I'll make it happen. Congratulations, kiddo.”


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  5. The Beginning



    “When I said you could help me out, I thought you were going to buy some more furniture.” Angel looked up at the stylized sign on the wall behind the reception desk, her expression dubious. 


    “I know, but this is what you need, and it's not a loan or charity. It's a joint business venture. I provide the space and the office, and you provide--” 


    “Alex, I'm not sleeping with you again. It was a one time thing. I told you, I'm not looking for a partner. Of any kind.” 


    Silent partner. Look, I'm going to keep doing the hero thing, which you think is going to get me and my friends killed--” 


    “It is going to get you kill---”


    “--AND you're going to keep doing the PI thing alone, which you won't let me help with---”


    “---BECAUSE I don't need help---”


    “BUT you're living over that cheap storefront in King's Row, and you're never going to make any money at it the way you're going about it. I saw a business opportunity, and this way, we can both generate leads for each other. There's even an apartment on the top floor, so you can live like a person instead of a...a...squatter.”  


    Angel glared at the younger man. When they'd first met, Alexander Knight had been an idiot rich boy playing hero who was interfering in an investigation into a simple missing persons case. The 'simple' had become complicated when she'd found her client's son had gotten involved with a major smuggling ring that trafficked in some fairly nasty illegal items ranging from high tech weapons to experimental drugs related to unethical 'augmentation' science. She would have been in far over her head had it not been for Alex. She'd since come to think of him as a friend, but a friend with perhaps too much money and nowhere near enough sense. He lacked the experience and seasoning that might come with a decade of experience, and while his heart was in the right place, if he lived long enough to get that experience, she'd be surprised. As far as she was concerned, the good ones always died too young.


    “Think about it. If you run across something that's out of your league, you can give me a call," he continued, "and if I run across something that doesn't need super-powered help, I can toss it your way so I know it will get handled by someone who won't let it fall through the cracks.” 


    “I suppose that makes a certain amount of sense, but I don't see how that turns into a huge facility with more...” She gestured at their surroundings. “All I need is an office, not a—a---” 


    “A turnkey, state-of-the-art, multitasking operation.” 


    “Tell me you're not quoting that old tv show.” 


    “The security division will generate tons of revenue. Think about it. You can take on all the cases that you won't charge for without having to do the cruddy cheating spouse pictures or wasting time on any of that other crap you use to pay the bills.” 


    “Who's going to work the security division if I'm running around doing those cases?” 


    “I know---”


    Don't say you know a guy.” 


    “I was going to say an amazing, tough-as-nails woman with tons of experience in everything from bodyguard work to hostage retrieval and threat elimination. She'd be a great asset, and I'd trust her with my life. She's perfect for something like this. You'll love her.” 


    “Former military? No, nevermind. I'll circle back to the term 'threat elimination' in a moment. I already told you, I don't do partners.”


    “Not a partner. An employee. You'd be the boss.”


    “I'd be the boss. Of the whole thing?”


    “You call the shots, top to bottom. I'm just an investor. Your name is on the business license, and you're listed as the owner.”


    “Alex, you're a sweet guy, but I can't--”


    “I swear, it's not about sleeping with you. It's about believing in what you're doing, and it's like you said, heroes have bigger fish to fry. It's why Diego fell through the cracks, and there are plenty more people out there who need someone who isn't the police or bound by certain legal restraints.” Alex could see that he was getting through to the stubborn redhead and began to grin. She saw that grin, knew she was losing her resolve, and just began to shake her head slowly.


    “I hate that I'm thinking about saying yes, but I admit there are a couple of people I could bring in.”


    • Like 1
  6. tFblxCM.png


    Sometimes, the heroes are busy with bigger things. Fate of the world things. Sometimes, the police have too much on their hands already.


    Sometimes, investigations go cold and the bad guys get away.  


    That's when Hi-Caliber Solutions can help! 


    We're a private firm with a highly skilled staff of investigators who care about tracking down your property, finding your missing loved one, or seeking out that key piece of evidence that can aid in securing justice. Our security division can arrange comprehensive home or business protection services or provide discreet protective details.




    Angelica Timmons




    Our Management Team



    Sheridan Zila

    Security Division 



    Aittera Timmons

    Missing Persons



    Danica Jordan-Irris

    IT Operations




    Asset Recovery


    Support Team



    Kelri Irris-Jordan



    We have offices in Paragon City and the Rogue Isles. 

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