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Anomaly (Calling My Name) - Arc ID 21818 - looking for critiques

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First-time author, yadda yadda.

 

Just published a WIP 3-act story intended for levels 1-20. Constructive criticism and advice are both welcomed and greatly appreciated!


Tanks: Electric Daisy Elec/Staff | CryoForge Fire/Ice | Armoogeddon Rad/Fire

Not Tanks: Splash Damage Water/Regen Sentinel

Alts: Too many

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In back of the house was a wood, tall stands of old oak with bushy shrubs over a thick moss floor. In a clearing stood the Doll, spade in one hand, brushing dirt off her brow with the other. No, not the Doll. That was not right. She was Real; she should have a name. She thought back to the books that lined the Nursery. A book of fables; a statue that had also come to life.

 

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The grim job done, Galatea began walking, slowly, out of the wood, down the road. Many hours passed, then she was in the City, then she was in the old place, the first place. There were others; they were not Real, but some followed her anyway. Further on, she came across a Man. The Man had taken what was once alive, then was not; he tried to make it real again, but nature abhors such things. The Man asked her for help, and she agreed.

 

1) The contact is Godwin Blaire, a Vahzilok Reaper, who says that someone else is doing the same thing as the Vahzilok are, but the other guy is even less nice. Seeking information, Galatea and her squad of not-quite-reals bust into a warehouse and encounter the "Anomaly". who look like Vahzilok zombies, but smell even worse. After pummeling them, she finds a machine entitled "bwah", which appears to transform corpses into zombies automatically.

 

2) Godwin joins us in the unique warehouse used in the Snake arc, wherein we bust heads and find a copy of Dr. Vahzilok's book, "All Flesh Must Be Eaten".

 

3) Dr. Vahzilok has been kidnapped, so of course we need to rescue him. Off to the "mad science in the sewers" map, where we find the doctor and then beat the head badguy, who is a necro/nature boss. He uses Carrion Creepers, which prevent the mission from ending until the effect ends.


Anomaly is a nice, short, well written arc. Give it a shot.

 

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Thank you for your feedback, @Kyksie! And I greatly enjoyed your atmospheric introduction to the review.


Tanks: Electric Daisy Elec/Staff | CryoForge Fire/Ice | Armoogeddon Rad/Fire

Not Tanks: Splash Damage Water/Regen Sentinel

Alts: Too many

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