Favorite in-game quotes

[srmalloy]

And a little bit of irony in the Faultline messages:

 

[NPC] SWAT Officer: Nope. It's clean. We're moving on.
Diseased Abomination has defeated SWAT Officer

 

They need to train their officers to be more aware.

[ZorkNemesis]

Villain tip mission, some Longbow chatting with each other.

 

Longbow Rifle: Sometimes the hum of the generators makes me so sleepy.  You know what I mean?

Longbow Spec-Ops: I do, your talking makes me tired a lot also.

Longbow Rifle: ...that was uncalled for.

[Retrobytz]

On 6/23/2021 at 8:28 AM, Pixie_Knight said:

Here's an old one from a friend of mine. First, the setup.

 

I had an IRL friend who would play CoH on Triumph server. It was my account at the time, since my friend didn't have a computer of their own. Let alone their own copy of CoH at the time. Well, my friend had started teaming up with someone in the hollows, and they /friended each other, teaming up whenever both were online. When this happened they were level 10 or so, having just finished the Hollows storyline (except the trial) and were in Kings Row doing missions. They came across a group of level 50 Malta, complete with some deployed turrets. Presumably some level 50 got killed by an ambush by the group. My friend and his team mate took cover behind a fence, thus avoiding aggro.

 

Friend: "Malta, who are they?"

Scrapper Teammate: "Donno, think we can take them?"

Friend: "Maybe?"

Scrapper Teammate: "Right, on the count of three we jump over the fence and attack. One."

Friend: "Two."

Scrapper Teammate: "Three, GO!"

My friend jumps over the fence and dies instantly to the turret, his team mate on the other hand runs in the opposite direction, avoiding aggro via ducking around a corner.

Me: "Well, that was a classic hit-and-run strategy."

 

Brilliant strategy, made me chuckle.

 

This reminded me of the first time I encountered Malta, in The Hollows, as a level 16, exiting a mission, within the first month of playing the game.

I did a broadcast that there were level 50 Malta hanging around in The Hollows, someone replied asking for the location, within minutes a couple of level 50's showed up and handled the Malta's with ease.

That was the moment I realized I wanted to be that powerful and it became a motivational point in my career in CoH.

To have a level 50 and be able to help lower level heroes with random encounters like that.

 

[Corlagon]

Overheard a Skull telling their ex-girlfriend this the other day in the Hollows:

 

Quote

Baby, it's just not working out. You run every time things get rough.

 

[RikOz]

Surprised I hadn't seen this exchange before (Kings Row):

 

Skulls Girlfriend: Your excuse is like crap.

Gravedigger Slugger: Whaaat?

[GraspingVileTerror]

Enraged Miner 1: Little Bill didn't deserve this. 

Enraged Miner 2: Deserve had nothing to do with it. 
Enraged Miner 1: Yeah. 
Enraged Miner 1: You know he was building a house?
Enraged Miner 1: But I tell ya, he wasn't much of a carpenter.

[RikOz]

Some of the most amusing chatter happens when the game code randomly assigns dialogue to inappropriate NPCs. Here we have, perhaps, a philosophical robot who has been contemplating the nature of humanity:

 

[NPC] Vortex Cor Leonis Force: I hear the new vampyri are even more impressive.

[NPC] Zenith Mech Man: I hope someday I can join their ranks.

 

 

Edited July 28, 2022 by RikOz
Replaced image with plain text

[TombTyrant]

On 7/9/2021 at 4:32 AM, Retrobytz said:

 

Brilliant strategy, made me chuckle.

 

This reminded me of the first time I encountered Malta, in The Hollows, as a level 16, exiting a mission, within the first month of playing the game.

I did a broadcast that there were level 50 Malta hanging around in The Hollows, someone replied asking for the location, within minutes a couple of level 50's showed up and handled the Malta's with ease.

That was the moment I realized I wanted to be that powerful and it became a motivational point in my career in CoH.

To have a level 50 and be able to help lower level heroes with random encounters like that.

 

 

Stuff like this is why I was a little bummed to see the high level ambushes in low level zones get pruned recently. It really made the world feel lived in.

[ZorkNemesis]

Don't know why this made me laugh, but a random line from a Warrior in Pocket D.

 

Warrior Raver: So I lost my puppy...

 

Guess some of those tough guys are big softies after all.

[srmalloy]

And a play into stereotype, but still funny. In Faultline:

 

[NPC] Scrounger Chopper: It's a donut shop. We can take out half the force in this city with one good blast.

[Jimpy4]

Me-So you want me to just go up and talk to the sentinel (of Mot)?

Dream Doctor-I Know, it's not exactly the best of plans

[GraspingVileTerror]

[NPC] Rhona: All I said was, you've got no plot, no meaning, and no characters. Then she hit me!
[NPC] Eliana: Man, this Shakespeare guy really knew how it was.

[CursedSorcerer]

Not particularly funny unless you think about the context:

 

 [NPC] Blood Brother Chopper: I pretty much stay away from Fort Hades. That place gives me the creeps.

 

So, you're telling me that someone from the Hellions. a gang that doubles as a cult that worships demons is afraid of ghosts?

 

 

[Pixie_Knight]

CoH has always had some rather amusing NPC dialog. There's a reason I dedicate a tab just to NPC dialog. It's easy to miss it during a mission.

[CursedSorcerer]

On 7/16/2021 at 2:47 AM, TombTyrant said:

 

Stuff like this is why I was a little bummed to see the high level ambushes in low level zones get pruned recently. It really made the world feel lived in.

 

...Did someone watch the Loki series on Disney+?

[srmalloy]

You can be transformed by some bizarre biogenetic goo into a twisted plant creature, but it doesn't change who you are:

 

[NPC] Crey Juggernaut: I'm ready to break some noses.
[NPC] Razorvine: I'm ready to break some noses.

[Pixie_Knight]

Was running quests earlier. And in the final quest of Slot Machine's arc I came across this from one group.

 

[NPC] Harlequin Fencer: I can't believe they invited us in!
[NPC] Bronze Strongman: They couldn't resist the lure of a private show.
[NPC] Harlequin Fencer: Oooh! Aren't you a rough one?
[NPC] Bronze Strongman: And now, we'll steal as we please!
[NPC] Hostage: I'd inform an Arbiter about this, but considering we invited them here for a private show, that might be a bad idea.

 

 

[GraspingVileTerror]

I thought the Razorvines were plants that were animated through the magical lichen, and only the Devoured were once-human.  I'd say it's more a matter of the lichen mimicking human speech, perhaps even mockingly, @srmalloy.

[ZorkNemesis]

In the first mission of Provost Marchand's second story arc, this Crey Tank recently sprung from the Zig makes a good point about their current situation.

 

Crey Cryo Tank: We were tossed in the Zig for being too obvious, and now we're standing around here. Get a move on!

[RikOz]

A couple Nemesis soldiers are betting fifty bucks on whether I will show up "here" or not. The winner of the bet:

 

"Woo, looks like it's my lucky day... err... wait... no probably not."

[srmalloy]

In Eden:

 

[NPC] Paragon Protector: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary, from time to time, to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

[ZorkNemesis]

There's a Rogue mission in the 40s that has an Arachnos operative give you a contract to sign to do some mercenary work for them.  While many of the terms and conditions are pretty standard fare, one stands out:

 

6. Do not attack any members of Arachnos, even if they 'have it coming to them'.

 

And there's this one, which comes with an asterisk:

 

 4. If you are captured, Arachnos will spend no less than 1 day and no more than 2 weeks to rescue you.*

 *Time of rescue will depend on how quickly the operative in charge can file the proper papers to be reviewed by a council of Arbiters.

 

Don't get captured when working for the spiders.

 

This same mission also includes a brief conversation between two fellow agents:
[NPC] Bane Spider Commando: You ever think about your family?
[NPC] Fortunata: I try not to. Phipps tells me that they're taken care of. 
[NPC] Bane Spider Commando: Do you believe him?
[NPC] Fortunata: Do I really have a choice?

 

Knowing Phipps, it's probably better she doesn't think about it.

 

Edited August 23, 2021 by ZorkNemesis

[RikOz]

Mission in which Freaks are trying to use magic to enhance their implants:

 

Sacrificial Victim: If there's anything worse than being sacrificed, it's being sacrificed incompetently.

[ZorkNemesis]

I attacked a random Seer in Nova Praetoria, this was their response.

 

Scanner: Yes, your mother is disappointed in your choice of career.

[presto2112]

On 7/11/2021 at 3:31 PM, GraspingVileTerror said:

Enraged Miner 1: Little Bill didn't deserve this. 

Enraged Miner 2: Deserve had nothing to do with it. 
Enraged Miner 1: Yeah. 
Enraged Miner 1: You know he was building a house?
Enraged Miner 1: But I tell ya, he wasn't much of a carpenter.

unforgivable