Killing is my business, and business is up 2.5% from last week

[Nayland1971]

[Techwright]

"2.5% from last week"? 

 

I...had no idea assassination had a bull-and-bear market.  Though it does give new clarification to terms like "hostile takeover" and "cleaning house".  I wonder what an annual shareholders' meeting is like?  

[Nayland1971]

Well it's a volatile, but high-volume market. So let's just say that bodybags are a big (yet non-deductable) expense.

[Thrones]

Question, will my GroupOn 20% off code work with these killer rates?

[Nayland1971]

Answer: Previous to June 11, we honored GroupOn codes, however, we received a special contract from Black Scorpion to raid their offices and kill everyone inside. So we will only honor codes from before June 11!

Edited July 14, 2022 by Nayland1971

[Snarky]

7 hours ago, Nayland1971 said:

Well it's a volatile, but high-volume market. So let's just say that bodybags are a big (yet non-deductable) expense.

I have a tax guy that can help you with that.  It is all in what you call them and how you deduct.  Also eliminating the peskier auditors helps

[Nayland1971]

Oh, that's a relief. I had a tax guy, and he was pretty good, but Dr. Aeon mutated him into a radioactive crustacean and I've been looking for a replacement ever since.

 

He's good at guarding the door, though!

[Stormwalker]

I"m just noticing that you still charge for murder that really was an accident.  Does this mean you're still charging them if you accidentally kill the target, or are you charging for collateral damage?

[Nayland1971]

Even if it was an accident, somebody, somewhere benefits. I'm hoping to capitalize on that.