DW's D-Movie Dungeon: The Worst 'Flix That You Can't Stop Watching

[ThaOGDreamWeaver]

Well, hello, darlings... 

 

Back in the old days, we needed the likes of the mighty Cassandra Peterson/Elvira, Jonathan Ross, Svenghoulie, and then MST3k etc to bring us trash gems that should never have seen the light of day.

 

But with Netflix and Prime being content-hungry beasts, there are now... things... lurking in their depths that can madden the mind of the unwary viewer. I invite you to share your discoveries, gain support for any trauma/SAN-roll failures incurred, and be warned of what bizarre, twisted mutations Whollyodd has unleashed upon unsuspecting streaming services.

 

Rules of this thread:

• We're looking for "so bad it's good / hilarious / can't take your eyes off it."
• NO POLITICS. (Or commentary about specific actors/actresses/directors/"poor writing" tangentially related to politics).
• Nic Cage movies are excluded as they have Nic Cage in them, and are therefore automatically watchable.
  Yes, even Season Of The Witch.
• That's it.

 

Exhibit A, which I came home to find my partner watching. And I was appalled.

And then I got snacks.

Look, and behold:

 

NYC Tornado Terror.

 

Spoiler

So this neat little no-budget Canuckywood spin on Day After Tomorrow has a freak, Martian-sized Red Spot park itself over New Jersey like a cosmic slice of Taylor Ham, and unleash terrifying weather events on Vancouver NYC, and some even more terrifying acting.

 

Amongst the scenes: two dog walkers meet for a tryst in a pocket park, and tie up their charges to a swing while they go make out. But we are interrupted. We see the wind whip up, hear whining, and then moments later see the freeze-dried remains and empty, frozen collars and leashes stuck to the playground equipment.

 

This is also by far from being the silliest thing in this movie. I genuinely invite you to experience it...

 

...and then go out and buy a copy of Final Draft and give it a try.

As Alan The Wizard says...

 

 

So... what have you found out there that's filling the bottom of the bill?

 

Unpleasant dreams...

Edited May 6 by ThaOGDreamWeaver

[Oubliette_Red]

 

Yeah, I went there.

 

It's a horrible movie, but I watch it anyway. It has it's moments, like when Hal Jordan stops being Ryan Reynolds and has a serious moment when he's being beaten down by Parallax, reciting the oath.

 

[Triumphant]

Casting Reynolds as Jordan was the primary sin of this movie, really.  Hal needs a more serious mein which, Reynolds (as amazing as he is in things like Deadpool) just doesn't have. 

 

Mark Strong was absolutely brilliant as Sinestro, though.  And I loved seeing all the different members of the Corps (Abin Sur, Kilowog, and the more esoteric and bizarre GL's).  It's still a guilty pleasure for me.  I view largely as a test bed for how cool a GL movie can look visually (I'm probably in the minority here, but I felt the special effects were pretty great).

I would honestly prefer a GL Corps sci-fi/super hero genre TV series to a movie, though. 

Edited May 7 by Triumphant

[ThaOGDreamWeaver]

1 hour ago, Triumphant said:

Mark Strong was absolutely brilliant as Sinestro, though.

Mark is yet another one of those affable Brit actors like Jason Isaacs, who'd love to do romantic leads, dashing heroes, or intricate dramas...

...but winds up as a go-to reliable rotter, even when up against terrible scripts. (Sivana in Shazam was probably the weakest part of that movie plot wise, and yet he pretty much makes it work.)

 

It's a living. As I think Derek Jacobi said, you could be doing this kind of thing in a nice comfy Hollywood studio, or get flown out to stay a great room in Prague...

...or do rep in Croydon. Your choice.

[Herotu]

Remember this being on EVERY billboard in City of Heroes? I finally got around to watching it a few weeks ago. Absolute dogshit.

 

[Herotu]

6 hours ago, ThaOGDreamWeaver said:

Mark is yet another one of those affable Brit actors like Jason Isaacs,

Hello to Jason Isaacs.

[Techwright]

On 5/7/2024 at 4:37 PM, Herotu said:

Hello to Jason Isaacs.

Fantastic actor.  I really need to see Archie.  So glad they gave him back the role of the Grand Inquisitor for the recent Star Wars: Tales of the Empire.  His was the best part of Season 1 of Star Wars: Rebels.  And as one born in the revolutionary hotbed called the Carolinas, I'm delighted to add that his fictional villain in The Patriot was magnificently every inch the villain that SC natives know the RL model, Banastre "Bloody" Tarleton, to have been, just with a much more satisfying end.  Boo! hiss!

Edited May 18 by Techwright

[MaceVanHoffen]

The OP mentioned Nic Cage in the context of worst flix and no one made a made a “NOT THE BEEES!” joke?  I’m disappointed in all of you.

 

My entry:

 

It’s just so god awful.  It’s one of those films that you keep asking yourself, “How did anyone on this film not see what I’m seeing now?”. It definitely capitalized on the whole Conan trend that went on far too long.  But the brothers are a huge train wreck to watch and it glues me to the couch every time I see it on somewhere.