Manticore Can Not See Dogs

[Zombie Man]

Fried, Roman, Countrymen, hand me your ears. Manticore is trying to trick you. He has told many lies on the past, but this one eats the cake.

 

You see my friends, Manticore cannot see dogs.

 

It is true. This was demonstrated very well in the recent Arachnos incident involving him. Arachnos found out about Manticore's only innate super power, which he keeps the utmost secret. They sent dogs to attack him, since they knew canines were not visible to him. The dogs started attacking him and he was like "What manner of surreptitious fisticuffs is this?" Then Statesman came in and said

"WHAT HELL YOU ARE DOING?"

"I seem to be under attack by invisible foes."

"WHY YOU LET A DOG BITE YOU? IS YOU STUPID?"

"Well, old chum, you know that concealed creeping canines cannot and are invisible to me."

 

Fortunately for Manticore, just then, Ghost Widow was searching for dogs in eBay, and bough the dogs attacking him. She glued them together to make a hat for Wretch. His old dog hat was dirty and he needed a new one. You see, if Wretch doesn't wear a dog hat for at least five hours a day, he becomes William Shatner. However, if he leaves it on too long, he runs the risk of becoming Vin Diesel.

 

Naturally, this would displease Lord Recluse, because as we all know Lord Recluse is in fact Vin Diesel. He would not want a second clone of him running around. The first clone is known as Mynx.

 

Mynx, when placed next to Lord Recluse, can only speak in Spanish. But that is not the point.

 

The point is, Manticore can't see dogs.

 

He fought Wretch the very next day, who can go 8 million miles a day. Then he saw another planet. It was called Earth. Wretch said:

"Cheerio, Manticore old boy! Do you like my hat?"

"Jolly good, old bean! I cannot see your hat!"

"Ah! of course! I have forgotten, dear me, what a buffoon I am! You can't see dogs! My apologies, old chap!

 

Then he tried calling Ghost Widow but she was busy surfing the internet looking to buy the biggest pants possible.

 

What she didn't realize was that Lord Recluse was watching, waiting for her to change clothes, while wearing his special glasses. Unfortunately he was standing there for a very long time because Ghosts don't change clothes.

 

Lord Recluse hates his glasses. He is in fact very near-sighted but refuses to wear his glasses or admit it. This is why his meeting room has a television 40 feet high.

 

Also, Scirocco hates it when he puts his glasses on because whenever he does Scirocco's head bursts into flames. That is why Scirocco has dreadlocks and a metal plate on his head. So it won't catch fire.

 

Manticore was the one who custom made the plate on his head. Scirocco can also be seen constantly driving a golf cart with hydraulics that Manticore custom made for him. Manticore thought the golf cart was invisible though, because it was made of dogs, who bark every time Scirocco pours gas on them.

 

I hope this history lesson has taught you all something valuable. Just remember: If Manticore says that he sees a dog, he is trying to mislead you. And if Manticore ever truly sees a dog....heavens help us all.