New and improved products from Necrotech

[DR_Mechano]

Dr Edward Johnson aka Doctor Mechano, adjusted his tie. This scruffy, elderly, grey skinned man with a wild beard and a pony tail that looked it had come from the 60s and one clearly cybernetic arm that was far from...well it looked functional. He looked out of place in a suit and tie, much preferring his labcoat, a comfortable pair of slacks and his thinking slippers.

 

Looking directly ahead at the camera as his mechanical assistant Grunhilda waved him in, starting a silent count down for yet another take. This was the fourth take he'd done of this blasted advert, the 'studio' lights were far too hot and bothersome, the green screen kept falling down, at one point a snake had burst out of the hole he had boarded up and effectively ruined, what had been a previously, an almost perfect take. It had taken him a VERY long time to finally get a lab up and running of this magnitude, one fit for both his genius and fit for business purposes. It wasn't quite the full factory he had bought in Sharkshead back in the original dimension but it would have to do.

 

He nodded his head, counting down, 3, 2 and...

 

On TV sets throughout the isles and some ungodly hour of the morning (which is the only time slot he could afford to run his adverts). The black and white symbol of a Skull surrounded by a Cog flickered onto the screen with the words 'a Necrotech industries infomercial' appearing along the bottom. Then there he was, suited and booted but still looking like someone had stuffed a hobo into a tuxedo without any other prep. Standing in front of a clearly green screened tourist shot of Aeon City.

 

"Hello my fellow independent Islanders, most of you will have no idea who I am, so allow me to introduce myself," the green screen changed to a stock image of a 'lab', probably taken off Shutterstock or some other such website, the picture just a little bit too fuzzy to make out a watermark.

 

"I am Doctor Mechano, once one of the foremost scientists in another dimension, now I'm here to bring both my high work ethic, attention to detail AND competitive prices on all things science related to you, the consumer. What I'm here to offer you, today, are some new and exciting products as well as some news on products in the pipe-line!"

 

The green screen pulled away to reveal a...decent looking lab, full of vats, tanks, all sorts of beakers...if someone said 'mad scientist lab' this is exactly what most people would picture. Electrical Tesla generators arcing lighting between each other, green goo bubbling away, the whole works.

 

"Firstly I'll announce the product that is going to go on pre-order soon. The Model HH1. A marvel of bio-engineering and cybernetics. This 'hero hunter' unit is relentless once programmed with a target, killing anything and everything that gets in its way. Highly resistance to most basic forms of a attack and, with an engineered high regeneration factor, able to survive almost catastrophic damage. Equipped with my patented Plasma cutting claws means that nothing will stop it. Vault doors, people, police cars, nothing would hold this killing machine back. Now this is currently in the finale open beta stage of testing in the Isles so once the testing phase is done I'll be opening up the phone line for orders. Priced at a very low one hundred thousand dollars per unit this puts this killer app at well below the price of any other dedicated anti-meta Bio Organic Weapon and into the affordability range of the common bank robbing criminal."

 

He gestures to one of the currently empty tanks, rebreathing equipment floating in it.

 

"Of course if that is out of your price range I do have lower cost options, the NewU program can give anyone meta-human powers on the cheap or even if you just want a completely new look. Currently I can enhance strength, endurance, toughness and reaction speed, elemental powers aren't available yet but I do have them on the roadmap for this year. Currently the prices start at just ten thousand dollars per power enhanced, that's only thirty thousand dollars for increased Strength, Endurance and Toughness to level that will allow you to throw around police cars with your bare hands."

 

He moves to bring a whiteboard in to shot, drawn on it is a very detailed roadmap of when he plans to roll out new features of the NewU program, though the actual dates are all TBC.

 

"Of course if you're desperate for powers and can't afford those options I'm glad to announce an 'early access' buy-in for the NewU program, where for only ten thousand dollars you can trial the latest but untested advances we have. This is what I like to call a Surprise Mechanic of super powers, you come in, pay your fee and you have no idea what you could end up with but there is a chance in having all the above traits very highly advanced. No matter what you get, you'll be leaving with a new you," he winks and finger guns at the camera.

 

"Now for my last announcement I'm opening up what once was a very old favorite of mine. The Dream partner program, a tailored made lover specific to your ideals and designs, these can be metahumans or just regular humans. Unlike REAL people these will always be loyal...unless you mistreat them and then they'll rip your face off with genetically engineered enhanced strength...which comes as a mandatory but free baseline enhancement. Remain loyal to them and they'll remain loyal to you, a happy, loving partner that is both an excellent cook AND a bodyguard for your children in these trying times. Prices do vary a lot on this product depending on what you desire."

 

Cutting back to the Doctor in front the green screen which is now slightly wrinkled, making the returning stock tourist photo of Aeon city look a little warped and..off..

 

"So if any of these products interest you, call the number flashing at the bottom of the screen now. I'm Doctor Mechano, owner of Necrotech industries and..."

 

A Cobra, one of the many Rogue Isles snakes, appears to slither, looking rather confused in to shot, staring at the camera.

 

The Doctor flew into a rage, "God damn it, I told you all before stay out of here...that's what the boards are for! Get outta here!"

 

The Advert cut short over the sound of laser fire, yelling and hissing. It was his best take...it would have to do. Now let us see if people were actually interested.

 

((if you're VG or SG has any plans that I can further forward with any of these products, meant as story hooks, please let me know via PM)).

Edited March 4, 2020 by DR_Mechano