Entrusting the Wrong People with the Secret

[chase]

“Ouro portal open near Sunstorm!”  Mobius Stripper shouted, as another piece of the heroine’s costume blinked away.   It was a constant cycle- more and more of her brown skintight-practically-painted-on-tights disappeared and revealed the tan skin underneath until just as she reached the point where an arrest would be warranted, it flipped.  Suddenly she was in a flesh-tan suit, blinking away to display her dark brown skin underneath.   It was the most annoying side effect of her time-manipulation powers, but the inevitable catcalls did make beating up the badguys so much more gratifying.

A tiny catgirl scampered up- grey, furry all over, wearing even less than she did, eyes the size of saucers and her whiskers curled forward in fascination.

“Oooh! Shiny.  Is it gold?” 

As she reached out to touch, a familiar voice shouted,  “Free donuts in City Hall!  Get em before Azuria loses them!” 

It was odd- not just because Mo knew donut day always fell on a Thursday, but because the voice came from the direction opposite of City Hall.   It didn’t matter to the catgirl, though, who darted to City hall with a barely- understandable “BRB.”

Almost as soon as the catgirl disappeared into City Hall, she reappeared from the direction of the voice.   No wonder it sounded familiar.

“Heyas.  Close’un.  Name’s Tabby.  You’re Mobius Stripper, I know.   Lazarus sent me.  What the heck are you doing?

Mo was feeling more than a little confused.

“It’s called Entrusted with the Secret not ‘Share the secret with everyone on the street. ‘  Why don’t you just grab the news crew while you’re at it?  Broadcast it to the world!”

“The more heroes that know about this, the more prepared we’ll be for the coming storm!”

“Coming storm, my ass.   Forget the coming storm- you almost gave Ouroboros access to a CATGIRL!  That’s, like ten thousand times more disastrous, according to Mender Lazarus.”

“But that… was you?”

“Yeah, you’re getting it!  See, I eventually get in and they were all ‘oh No! what do we do’ but then I offered to go back and stop myself, and they were all, like ‘that’d be awesome!’ but then I barely finished when someone ELSE put out a portal and let me in.  I’ve been stopping me ever since.  I’m damn good at it too- this makes 57, so get outta here already and don’t ruin the streak.   I remember I was grumpy when there were no donuts, so you don’t wanna be around when I get back anyway.”

“But I’m still not sure how this is worse than…”

“CATGIRLS! OUROBOROS!  What’s not to get?  Think of Mender Derek’s screwup, now imagine he’s a she, with cat ears and a tail.   Now take it all the way to ten thousand!”

“Ok, that sounds bad.   In my defense, nobody ever told me not to recruit catgirls.”

The catgirl seemed to be getting impatient, “Think hard.  Think REALLY HARD.  Is there ever a time where adding catgirls IMPROVED a situation? Ever?   I AM one, and I can tell you that my life’s been worse ever since I became one.   Come on! The timestream continuum’s on the line!  Just get outta here and be careful who you share this thing with in the future, please!"

Mo took the advice to heart, and was about to leap, when the catgirl flagged her.  “Oh! Wait!   I got a message from Mender Ramiel for you, too.   It says ‘Keep Tabby away from the Well of…  well, I think he meant Furries there.  Someone has to explain autocorrect to the guy.’” 

The catgirl blinked, contemplated for a moment, then said, “That shouldn’t be hard.  I hate water and can’t stand furries.   I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about.   Problem solved!  Now GO!”

Mo didn’t hesitate and she MADE SURE the portal closed behind her.

 

------------------------

As she re-emerged in the Mender vessel, she saw an old friend sitting by the reflecting pool.

“Mender Lazarus!  I just had the most surreal experience.”

“Ah, you met Tabby, then?

“Um… yeah…  I had no clue that catgirls were such a hazard.”

“They aren’t.  We were just trying out a new initiation process.  We figured she’d catch on after 3 or 4 of these.   What was she up to when you found her?”

“57”

“Ah, so still early.  She started suspecting something in the two-twenties, then got really grumpy in the 300’s.   In retrospect, we should’ve intervened before 500, but it was such a nice, even number.”

“She did this 500 times?”  

“501.  She got real efficient at the end, so we kinda missed catching her.”

“Ok, so this was all some warped initiation joke?”

He nodded.

“And Ramiel’s 'Well of Furies?' reference, too?”

“Oh, no, we’re dead serious there- an incarnate catgirl, can you imagine?”

Edited August 3, 2020 by chase