Comedy CoSA introduction skit script

[AssasinMilo]

So I had an idea for a comedy skit to introduce new people to CoX.  I got the idea from all my friends ditching WoW and refusing to join me in CoX and so I got the idea of a joke introduction for new people.  I don't have any video making skills so the rough script will probably just sit there so I wanted to at least share some of the jokes with you all.  Let me know what you think.

 

 

comedy skit
  (introduce CoX)
 [something over this maybe a finger pointing or a mocking photo to represent the viewer]
  you, yes you.
 [show photos of WoW being toxic super hard I know]
  are you tired of the slog and toxicity of WoW
 [Show a photo of FF]
  Tired of the fantasy setting for MMOs
 [show photos of marvel movies]
  want something fresh perhaps something in a genre so fresh that it is in one of the most played out and profitable genres in cinema
 [photos of fresh produce then 20 years aged something like wine or pickled stuff, then an animation of NCsoft throwing out a CoH logo and a fan fishing it out of the trash]
  well look no further here at city of heroes we are so fresh we are almost two decades old and in fact got thrown out and fished back out of the trash by fans because nothing else ever quite tasted as good
 
  (why it is different and better)
 [show the logos for each and a panning animation over the CoH logo for the last joke]
   City of heroes started out simple with noble costumed heroes fighting to protect their city but it soon expanded to include a city of villains and a city of whatever the hell goldside is and now today enjoys the illustrious title of City of Any Asshole With a Superiority Complex: Superpowers Optional TM
 [make a joke CoSA logo, show the MMO triangle, flash cake,then show a controller 1 manning a +4x8]
 here at City of Superior Assholes the triangle is a lie in fact many controllers mock it's existence daily
 []
 things like team composition and lvl requirements are vague suggestions that you won't ever notice unless something goes wrong and you get to silently blame the team leader
 []
 Things like objective best class meta are laughable here because of the sheer numbers of possible class/powersets combination choices so many in fact I had to calculate the number with this formula ((I can't figure how to make the sum notation symbols)) sum over archetypes(Primary * Secondary) = X
 []
 City of Superior Assholes has bold new and innovative ideas in the MMO space like actually decent cosmetic character customization, a variety of equally valid ways to play, and actually being free and not just freemium
 
 (What there is to do)
[]
Your average Superior Asshole's journey in our fair city may consist of the following
[]
Select the I need help tag for your character and forget you have it so you look like a noob forever
[]
Yell around the wrong channels when looking for a group
[]
Be surprised at how helpful the community is after coming from WoW
[]
queue in the lfg tab and be confused and disappointed because the LFG tab was the only thing WoW did right in the last decade
[]
Do DFB for the millionth time because nobody likes having only 3 powers
[]
solo missons if you really care about the story and don't want people annoyed standing over your shoulder while you read what you are actually doing and why
[]
Do doubles missons like batman and robin with your hetero-life-partner
[]
join a radio team or any of over a dozen types of teams doing activities involving anything on max difficulty with a full team because that is all it takes to lvl really fast
[]
Hunt for giant monsters to kill and arrive too late to get credit
[]
lead a task force into the ground like a man going down with his ship
[]
Realize at lvl 30 whatever that you hate this character's playstyle
[]
make a new character you have X options might as well
[]
realize way later after you learn how to build characters with a third party software that your first character was good you just sucked at making builds
[]
Make another new character because you just had the best idea and then never play them again
[]
plan to figure out what the hell an incarnate is someday
[picture of a character panhandling in AE]
beg for the farmer's guild to take pity on you and spare a septim for the poor
[]
become a farmer yourself (Laughing) oh who are we kidding we love you, you leeches
[]
play ITF for the tenth time today
[]
ask what the hell is a BAF
[]
ask really specific questions about IO set bonuses and stacking compatibilities
[]
enjoy the unequaled chaotic cacophony that is a Rikti Mothership Raid as opposed to the only semi-chaotic cacophony of a Hamidon Raid
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Become an unrivaled god at base building and cause every single other MMOs guild base system to retire in bitch ass shame
[]
get really into superhero roleplay and it completely change the game for you and makes it new again
[]
fall in love with a probably 30 year old obese man with a girl avatar during said roleplay causing you to question your sexuality
[]
decide that you don't care

 

 (ending)
[video of null turning someone into a gull and them asking is my alignment seagull now]
enjoy CoSA however you want we aren't here to judge in fact we are so non-judgemental that we have a morality system that becomes almost completely irrelevant once you have a reality altering seagull give you a middle alignment and you forget all about it