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GRAPES OF WRATH 2, FARM HARDER


lepidopter
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GRAPES OF WRATH 2:  FARM HARDER

a Space Opera

 

 

I made a part 2, so now I'm sticking the parts together and giving the whole thing a name.  It's not going in the RP section because I don't want it touching my REAL thread there and getting it all slimy, but also because the characters in here break the 4th wall by being aware on some level they're in a video game, which is almost always a no-no in RP.

 

Soundtrack for part 2 is "Still On Tha Grind" by The Squire of Gothos, because of course it is.  Language.
 

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BEGIN TRANSMISSION

 

Cower, miserable earthlings, for the diabolical device has been deployed, and Attila the Hundred will soon begin his REIGN OF TERROR!  Attila demands that you immediately play the song "World Wars III and IV" by the earthling musical group Carnivore, to help prepare you for your inevitable fate!  Attila does grudgingly admit that he cannot force you to do anything YET, and also the built-in loudspeakers keep melting.  Moving on, then.

 

We see some of you thinking, "What reign of terror?"  This is a very good question, for a pathetic human, and we applaud the effort it must have taken for your feeble brains to produce it!  Ha!  Let's hear the answer from the malevolent machine himself!  What does the reprehensible robot have to say to his new subjects?  Attila, come to the stage!  ATTILA!

 

SUWvudAf_o.jpg

 

WHAT?  WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!!  We mean, umm, this was all just a little... Space Humor.  There's absolutely no fiendish plot to conquer your world and enslave the few of you who survive.  Erm.  As you were, earthlings.

 

Stupid lackeys!  Not again!  One of you cretins has clearly mixed up the logic circuits of the Mission Mulcher 5000 with those of my beautiful creation Attila!  When I find the one responsible, you will pay DEARLY, I assure you.  I should feed ALL of you nincompoops to the Zleebwat this instant, and I would if I didn't need stooges to lay out my afternoon finery and shine my Zlitsi-skin boots!  Wait, is this thing still on?

 

END TRANSMISSION 

Edited by lepidopter
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BEGIN TRANSMISSION

 

Don't dust that, Cecil, you'll switch it on by accident  ...well YES Cecil of course it's really dusty, it's the communicator I use for gloating at the pathetic earthlings.  Not much chance for THAT lately after the whole mess with Attila the Hundred...  Oh lovely, it's time for dessert.

 

Blechh!  Ptui!  Good grief, this is absolutely revolting.   Alphonse!  For the last time, Peach Cobbler is just a name, the recipe does NOT involve shoes in any way whatsoever  ...YES I'm sure, just like the all the other times we've discussed this.  Alright, that does it, I've had more than enough of your nonsense, AND of your wretched cobbler.  Check his pockets, boys!  Ready Torpedo Tube One!  In he goes, and FIRE!

 

Farewell, failed pastry chef!  Parting is such ~SWEET~ sorrow.  Mwahahahaha!

 

Wait, what's this on the television, and why is it interrupting Welcome Back Kotter?  Hold on, it looks like the Mission Mulcher 5000!  What is Project Stonefish doing on the earthling news?  Stop that sniggering immediately, TODD.  Project Stonefish is a fine name.

 

dmmdCAFs_o.jpg

 

Bring me my space-phone at once, lackeys!  **Beep-boop-beep**  Glorak, turn on the earthling news!  ...Oh, I think ANY earthling news will do  ...Yes, that IS Project Stonefish!  Hang on, I'll be right back...

 

What's so funny, Todd?  It's the name Project Stonefish, isn't it?  Do you think Project Stonefish is a stupid name, Todd?  Perhaps you feel just plain Stonefish would be better?  Oh, you do?!  Well it was taken, TODD, as were Stone Fish and Stone-Fish.  Empty his pockets, boys!  Torpedo Tube Two!  FIRE!

 

Enjoy your up-close look at the wonders of the solar system, Todd!  There are many people just ~DYING~ to see them!  Mwahahahaha!

 

...sorry about that, I'm back now, just more insubordination from the imbeciles  ...why has Project Stonefish gone so hilariously haywire, you ask?  Do you remember the, erm, small problem with my marvelous murder machine Attila?  ...yes yes Glorak, good one, anyway only CERTAIN SECTIONS of his logic circuits were muddled by one of my moronic minions.  The glorious BEHAVIOR of conquest by nuclear apocalypse remained intact, but sadly he had the TARGET LIST meant for the Mission Mulcher.  That's why, when Attila gave that hideously embarrassing speech to the earthlings, he was standing in the still-smoldering wreckage of an AE building  ...indeed, he pillaged a little too hard  ...PLUNDER?  I barely KNOW her!   Hahahaha!

 

Well, in turn Project Stonefish must have got Attila's target list but kept his own fundamental behavior, and right now he appears to be AFK farming Belgium. 

 

8JqAGsN0_o.jpg

 

Bwahahaha, did you see that?  He spined that policeman square in the yarbles!  Splendid work, Project Stonefish!  Play that funky music, spike-boy!  ...you know, Glorak, this is real old-fashioned CRAFTSMANSHIP.  It might not be nearly as efficient a means of genocidal jihad as what I programmed Attila with, but each individual act of villainous violence is HAND-MADE, with true attention to detail.  Well, except for the AFK part.  Best of all, this is step, what, four I think, on Attila's itinerary.  Belgium, Brussels, NATO headquarters.  Incidentally, the only way he's likely to have successfully travelled to Belgium from North America is by SWIMMING, clearly Project Stonefish is no stranger to the ways of the sea!  But this means he's already gotten jiggy wit it in no less than THREE other strategic locations!  Ha!

 

...I can say 'jiggy wit it' all I want, Glorak, there's no need to be jealous of my swag.  Get your OWN game straight, player, rather than trying to pull ME down as if we were crabs scuttling around in a bucket  ...Glorak? Are you still there?  

 

Drat.  I keep forgetting how sensitive Glorak is about any mention of crabs, can't imagine why old Pinchy gets so offended, haha.  Hmm, it appears the communicator DID get switched on.  Don't look nervous Cecil, you're in no danger, it was a simple mistake that could happen to anyone.  Ahem.  GREETINGS, PITIFUL EARTHLINGS.  We hope you are enjoying your evening news... as much as ~WE~ are!  Mwahahahaha!

 

END TRANSMISSION
 

Edited by lepidopter
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