UtRR's #4: The Death of 007, Part One [@Crysteel] ID: 7071

[cranebump]

One more before Xmas, folks:

Why I picked it: I am a 007 nut (with Connery being the definitive version for me).

What I ran it with: Acrobattle !

Powersets and such: Staff/Ninj; Incarnate [vet levels, not shifted]

P.S. Also went with Acro because because I happened to be logged in with him, and was checking a different arc I’d promised to run and comment on:-)

 

NOTE: This author is looking for feedback, and this is “part 1” of a metastory. So, I’ll be pointing out typos when/if I see ‘em.

 

Let us begin:

• Intriguing Description. I notice it is part 1? Interesting. Also LF feedback, so...let’s feed!

 

Mish the first:

• Contact is Felix Leiter. You’re already up 10,000 pts. (though Felix is an American).
• Opening is sufficient, however (see below):

...parentheticals are fine for drama. For AE, there’s really no set standard practice, but many authors will color-code action, if dialogue is already established as plain white text. 

 

Ahhhh, see, now Felix is CIA, not MI6. FIX! FIIIIIIX! (and why am I not talking to M)?:-)

 

Okay, right off the bat:

We’ve got a reskinned Fam, or a custom, and no description. Dat’s a no-no, bro. Give your customs the custom treatment. Because I can tell you, people read these things. They actually do. I mean...I just did…:-)

 

ONWARD!

 

Romping around the joint with my (non) school chums. Beat up ever’buddy in da club, including the boss.

 

Le Chiffre’s last words:

I weel, if u just shut ze mouth!

 

Note: I like the wide-brimmed hats on some of the baddies. Not sure it’s “1968ish,” But I like.

I had to let myself get shot at for this pic, y’know.:-)

 

Summary: short and sweet. Nice sequencing of objectives. Clues are brief, and to the point. And I’ve got to think ‘Mr. Big” is either Kananga from Live and Let Die, or a pseudonym for Blofeld.

 

Mish 2:

• So, we’re sequencing through some Bond vills who all should be dead. This is interesting. I AM wondering why I need to grab those gold coins, though. How does this tie in to James? (and may I please keep the booty?):-)
• Note: I’m asked to “grab Mr. Big, too.” I think questioning the dead guy should be Felix’s objective #1, since it’s info I’m after. But, okay mr. CIA. ON IT!
•  Also: typo--you have “your” where you meant “you’re” (minor fix).

 

Inside:

• Nice entry clue. Atmospheric. I like the writer’s style when it comes to these touches. No wasted motion.
• At this point, I got mapserved.:-(

loading.... ..... ..... .... .... 

• Annnd back! 

 

More customs. No custom write-ups.

But wait til you see MY voodoo, cherie…

 

NOTE: I’d avoid calling one of your minions a “Voodoo Savage,” only because the term is outdated (and carries with it some baggage). Voodoo is fine. Savage, not so much. The look is great, though!

 

Guess this is why I’m recovering the treasure:

They’re no the only ones. I’ll be “resting” on a brand new yacht!:-)

 

Bit of cave running, then:

IRONY! Solitaire is not alone (and you’re pining for the wrong guy, missy).

 

Solitair’s defeat clue is interesting. Evidently, Kananga is reborn as this guy:

Nice cane…

 

Man if all the chests spawned like this:

How cool would THAT be? (2 of them DID, which was neat)

 

Off to find "Mr.Big." When I do I notice that...he's big...Like actually big:

My man...you were smaller in the photo Inice drums, though).

 

The powers of Darkness compel me! The Powers of Darkness compel me! (or not)

 

Mr. Big signs off with a horrid Jamaican accent (which is a feature of the arc--aping the old Bond film villains).

 

One thing on exit:

Either this is a typo, or a really interesting take on “you won’t get away with (etc).”:-) 

 

Another one here:

This happens to me all the time, btw, especially the deeper I go into scripting. In the urgency to move on, my fingers forget where letters are on the keyboard.

 

NOTE: At this point, I’d almost like to see some sort of device concerning the time travel that relates to Roswell, since 1968 isn’t too far off that, and the raging Cold War might lead to experimentation with alien technology. I’d probably assume Bond was looking into the Rooskies experiments, then all this time stuff happened. (just musing, though…)

 

Mish 3:

• Off to find Goldfinger (and drag that digit outta his nose!)
• Again, nice entry clue. Short and sweet.

 

Okay not only do I have Goldie in this, but a couple other blasts from the past. Here’s the first one:

And your first name is…? (neverminddon’tsayitkidspresent!)

 

NOTE: Galore’s dialogue doesn’t sound as sophisticated as she appeared to be in the movie version. Not sure about novels or anything. Of course, when you’re named...well, you know...

 

I LOVE that her minions are named:

 (how did you get the names not to repeat, since they are minion labels?). NOTE: Ran into another pair later, names repeated. So, the miracle was not a miracle (sniff).

 

All in all, the minions in this mish are pretty cool. Especially these guys:

Don’t make me staff-fu your Man-chu, brutha.

 

Minion combos are very nice (read: "effective") this mish. Good synergy between the face-kicking Foreman and the gunner backing him up. His MA can stun you, while the bullets shred you. The guard (left) is sometimes invisible, so you can miss them and get stabbed right in the “SAI-d” if you’re not careful.:-) Nice work here.

 

Remember I mentioned cameos? Here’s the next one::

Why not Odd Duck? It fits, right? RIGHT? Oh, never mind. Grunt away, SIlent Bob.

 

Did the job on Odd Job. Just nearby I find:

He’s the man, the man who went on a crash diet…and pumped them WEEEEEEIGHTS!

 

Boss actually tried to run (early). Screamed for help from Odd Job. Oopsie! He’s dead, Jim (I mean, Aurie). Would've been cool if Odd Job responded, but can't do a named Boss ambush. The two were close together, but OJ was nearer to entrance. When GF ran, he actually ran toward where OJ would have been, had I not staffed the odd duck into submission. 

 

I stealth the last 3 crates, grab clues and out we go! Most enjoyable mish of the arc so far, save for having to grab 7 crates (seemed a lot, but it did make me search the whole map). 

 

Then this at end:

Bwah? 

 

Okay, so exit clue and in mish clue say, that I “think” beat Goldie. Other than this guy looking more like Don Johnson in the Vice days, I’m not sure why I’m thinking this. (ooohhh...he’s supposed to be dead...okay…):-)

 

So, the end mish reveal:

What? You’re kidding, I…(okay I figured maybe…)

 

Ah...here we go. A take on something I mentioned above:

DING! Genius is contagious!:-)

 

Mish 4: 

• Okay the entry clue says SMERSH wasn’t active in the US in 1968. Now...pretty sure someone in the KGB was, though it may not have been counterespionage. Still, I’m wondering about the accuracy of this nugget, so I look it up...Well, I’ll be durned. SMERSH dissolved in 1946. Huh. “The more you know…”:-)

 

Off to rescue another Bond NPC, Darko Kerim. Once in, I run into:

Rifle...MAN? Ooookay…

 

I get it’s Bond, but our “Rifleman” seems a bit...underdressed. And the Soviets, well, they’re such a pragmatic people. You know, the whole “NASA spent thousands on developing a pen that would write in space. What did Russia do? [They used a pencil])?” That sort of thing (maybe her uni is entirely skin tone color...for camouflage...to blend in on the...beach…:-)

 

Running around and smashing:

Someone’s been raiding the closet at my secret base…

 

Okay, out of all the assorted minions and LT’s I’ve seen so far, this guy...

...scares me most…

 

Down with Red. Interesting: Patrol spawn notes, “Did you hear Red yelling for help?” Other guy: “No, never! Not him!” (or some such). Nice touch.:-)

 

Whilre we're at it, another custom minion:

"I’m the Juggernaut, B****!" Fraid not, pard. See how I dodged that knife? And didn’t even move? Or rather, moved so fast, you couldn’t see it? Like The Waco Kid? ...They didn’t show Blazing Saddles in Kiev? Bummer…

 

Aside: LOVING the new SMERSH T-Shirts! Get yours now!:-)

 

On to last boss:

Remember, “Khleb” means “bread.” Which I’m about to...do something to you that...I describe with a...bread metaphor...yeah…Have a slice o’ that! (there! done)

 

Off to find Kerim Bey, annnnd:

Okay that better not be…

 

But, of course, it is…or rather isn’t...I mean, I found him, but he’s “not in,” so to speak.

 

Aftermath:

With Bey dead, and no clear trail (to lead us to Blofeld--right? RIGHT?),I return to Felix. 

 

First, minor typo:

 

So. ONWARD (redux)!

 

• We do find out that someone got ahold of the remains of all the original villains, and must be using them to create...well, the clones…Klebb is just not cooperating, so Felix begins to rant about it.
• Okay spoiler here, but this is funny:

Heh...wasn’t expecting that. 50,000 points (but they’re “Whose Line is it Anyway?” points)

 

Finale:

My kinda Nav tab:

 

On it!

 

Okay this is the first not so good entry popup:

I hear stuff! That means stuff is happening! ...er, soon…STOP THE STUFF!:-)

 

(Bit of a clunker there. Easy fix.)

 

Upon entry:

I am also trained in the use of experimental rifles (BZZZZZAP!) See?

 

Then this guy:

I really know nothing about nukes. I AM nuke, you see.

 

 I should mention here that I’m out to rescue "Quarrell, Junior," ostensibly before he opens a weirdly named hamburger joint.:-) (P.S. He;s from “Live and Let Die,” if you’re wondering)

 

NOTE: Enjoying the scientists. I love it when seemingly innocuous staff whip out fancy weapons and powers. Like this chick who is about to shoot me:

I have just invented...THE RAP POSE!

 

Now, here’s something that’s just SMART::

This is one of those Crey maps with double vators and the loop de loop hallways. Hate having to search these. But these guys all in red? You can spot them a MILE away. Nice substitute for something that wouldn’t otherwise fit (like “Captured, Floating” or the torch emote). KUDOS! This is player friendly and clever. Nice!

 

Okay, so, there’s this problem with a nuke coming. So, I shut down the telemetry thingee, then I get this:

No comma needed, kemosabe (minor fix)

 

So, "Find No!" (If I were young and single again, I would've accomplished that in about 4 seconds):-). I press on. Find him and his crew, smash him up, and, inevitably:

Are you trying to CHEAPEN MY VICTORY? (cheapen away--I hear this every day, man).

 

Also, typo: “deliciously” is what you’re looking for (unless I hit No so hard his lack of teeth is causing a temporary speech impediment).

 

We’re done! The world is saved!

Or is it? (dun-dun-dunnnnnnn)

So, summary:  

 

Positives:

• Firmly grounded in Lore. Bond lore, that is. Uses NPCs, minions, settings, tropes from the series. I’m not sure whether novels or movies or inspirations for all this, so I tried not to comment too much on that, because I do not know the novels. In any case, fits the scenario.
• Custom baddies are interesting, if not constantly underdressed (because, hey--it’s Bond). Special mention of Voodoo minions and Plant workers.
• Great minion synergy in the Goldfinger mish
• Terse, evocative entry popups (with one exception)
• A variety of maps (casino, Cimerora cave, Crey lab, warehouse, office).
• No useless running around, for the most part (exception: Crey Map, because it’s the damned Crey map)
• Novel approach to locating rescue target, using minion unis that pop (I may steal that).

 

Tweaks:

• Custom critters sorely need description. A lot of time was spent on them. Spend a little more.
• Leiter’s dialogue seemed strange to me. Like it was coming from a youngster, rather than a seasoned agent. 
• Some deviation from the through line that this is an investigation. So, I shouldn’t be recovering treasure. Now, I can SEARCH it, but the objective should probably be “Search for clues.” Like, in every mission. On those chests: I can see locating all this money, then finding other clues indicating what it was for, as part of the big scheme.
• Suggest exchange of parentheticals for color-coded text in mission begin/end dialogue.
• Some minor typos.

 

OVERALL: 3.5/5 (a 4, when typos are fixed , and critter descriptions are added) 

 

The basic craftsmanship is there. Since it’s in “LF Feedback” mode, I assume it’s in a final draft stage. So, it’s pretty strong. It’s unique. It’s light-hearted.It’s a nice homage. It has excellent variety of custom minion looks, and include plenty of Bond characters. Double points for making me actually look up some real life info. On the whole, I found it enjoyable. The only thing missing (besides descriptions of the customs!) is Blofeld, and Bond himself (in part 2, maybe?). 

 

Play this if: (1) You’re a fan of classic 007. (2) You want something light-hearted and/or unique. 

 

Don’t play if: You want a traditional superhero story. This ain’t that.

 

That’s our last review ‘til 2021, folks. Hope your Holidays are shaken, not stirred.*

 

Reviewingly yours,

Bump. Crane Bump.

 

*Remember: this just gives you a weak martini, but you can feel snooty about ordering it.

Edited December 13, 2020 by cranebump