The Mission Architect review game!

[GastlyGibus]

Been meaning to make this thread for a while, so without further ado...

Welcome to the Mission Architect Review game!

The goal of this thread is to encourage the community to play and "review" each other's created stories. The catch is that, in order for your story to get reviewed, you must play and offer a short review of the last story posted. This way, everyone gives, everyone gets, and everyone wins!

Here are the rules:

Rule 1: If you are requesting a review of your story, you must play the last posted story in the thread. While playing the arcs posted here is encouraged, and the goal is to get more story-driven content, you may only request a review by reviewing the last story posted.
 

Rule 2: You must offer a review of the story you played somewhere in your post. Keep in mind, it doesn't need to be excessively long or intricate. You don't need to write a 10,000 word report on every last detail of the story. In that same vein, refrain from very short, vague reviews. Simply saying "I liked it" does not count as a review.

Here's an example of what a review can be:
 

Spoiler

"This was a really fun story. The custom characters were very well designed and really fit in with the game, and the plot was interesting enough to keep me playing, wanting to see what would happen next. Great job!"

It's short, sweet, concise, and gets the job done. You can, if you wish, post a very long, detailed review if you would like, but it is not mandatory to do so.

Rule 3: Keep criticism constructive! We're all different people, and we all have different things we like and dislike. Inevitably, someone is going to come across a story they probably didn't like so much. Your review can be negative, but you may not directly insult or belittle the author or the story. In addition, when offering criticism, try to suggest a solution to the problem!

Here's an example of a negative review that stays constructive:
 

Spoiler

"The story needs work. The custom characters descriptions have some typos in them, and a lot of the dialogue is just out of character. If the text were spruced up and proof-read, it'd make things a lot more enjoyable."

Highlights the issues while still remaining constructive and polite. No insults, no call-outs, just pointing out the problems and how to fix them!

 

Rule 4: No farm arcs. This is not a thread for you to advertise your latest farming arc. I'm not bashing on farmers here, but this thread is dedicated solely to story-driven content.

Rule 5: This isn't really a rule, but I'm putting it here regardless. You do not have to post a story of your own in order to review another one. If you just want to peruse the stories posted and play them at your leisure, you are more than welcome to do so! Keep in mind, though, that if you are posting your own story, you are still required to review the last story posted. See Rule 1.

Alright, now with the boring, unfun rules out of the way, here's the format you can use when submitting a story for review.

Arc ID: (We need an ID so we can find your story, of course!)
Length: (Let us know how many missions are in your arc.)
Level range: (The minimum and maximum level for your arc.)
Morality: (Just helpful for those of us who want to pick an appropriate character to play as, for those of us roleplaying.)
Warnings: (Post any warnings for your story here. Please let people know if there are any of the following: Dark themes, difficult mobs/bosses, custom characters, or timed missions.)
Description: (A brief summary of what your story is about. It can be directly taken from the description in the Mission Architect in-game, or you can summarize it differently here.)

That's it! So, in order to get this game started (and at the risk of looking like a shameless self-promoter) I will post one of my own stories here to kick us off!

Arc ID: 19492
Length: Five missions
Level range: 1-20
Morality: Villain
Warnings: One timed mission, two custom boss-class enemies.
Description: Attention, all "destined ones;' Due to the rapid influx of prisoners freed from the Zig, Arachnos has deemed it worthwhile to construct a test of your abilities. These missions are designed to see if you really have what it takes to serve our great Lord Recluse!
 

Edited March 4, 2020 by GastlyGibus
Clarified some rules

[Dev7on]

Ok here's mine! I just published it so it's super new! Hopefully Kyksie will get to review it. I definitely fixed my grammar and spelling this time.

 

Arc ID: 23767

Length: 5 missions

Level Range: Mission 1: 7-15, Mission 2: 1-14, Mission 3-5 is 50+

Morality: Neutral 

Warnings: Archvillains, Elite Bosses, Extreme Archvillains!

Description: Two Hip Hop artist are somehow in a superhero mmorpg!

 

I hope you guys like it. 😉

[GastlyGibus]

6 hours ago, Dev7on said:

Ok here's mine! I just published it so it's super new! Hopefully Kyksie will get to review it. I definitely fixed my grammar and spelling this time.

 

Arc ID: 23767

Length: 5 missions

Level Range: Mission 1: 7-15, Mission 2: 1-14, Mission 3-5 is 50+

Morality: Neutral 

Warnings: Archvillains, Elite Bosses, Extreme Archvillains!

Description: Two Hip Hop artist are somehow in a superhero mmorpg!

 

I hope you guys like it. 😉

Hey man, I appreciate the interest, and I'll definitely check it out sometime, but remember you need to review the last story posted before requesting a review of your own. Check the post I made for the rules and the story I posted there, and then we can get to reviewing yours next! 😄

[Kyksie]

8 hours ago, Dev7on said:

Ok here's mine! I just published it so it's super new! Hopefully Kyksie will get to review it. I definitely fixed my grammar and spelling this time.

 

Arc ID: 23767

Length: 5 missions

Level Range: Mission 1: 7-15, Mission 2: 1-14, Mission 3-5 is 50+

Morality: Neutral 

Warnings: Archvillains, Elite Bosses, Extreme Archvillains!

Description: Two Hip Hop artist are somehow in a superhero mmorpg!

 

I hope you guys like it. 😉

 

Have I become the board's resident AE reviewer? I'd be glad to write a review for this, but maybe make a new thread for it.

 

I should mention I can see a big problem right away... the level range. People will be reduced to 14 in the early missions and forced up to 50 in the last one. That tends to be not fun.

[thunderforce]

On 3/4/2020 at 10:47 PM, GastlyGibus said:

Arc ID: 19492

Description: Attention, all "destined ones;' Due to the rapid influx of prisoners

They are canonically "Destined Ones", not "destinied ones"; the quote around it has incorrectly enclosed a semicolon; the quotes are mismatched; the "due" following it has a spurious capital letter.

 

I'm afraid if I review something, I proofread it.

 

I played this as a Night Widow (obviously, exemplared down to 20). This made it easier than it might have been were I in the level range. I stealthed or cleared on a whim, which is how I normally play her.

 

Briefing: I'm not sure why I'm ERROR: NAME NOT FOUND (let alone why he can talk in bright red). Perhaps it'll become clear.

 

First mission: I appreciate Clockwork are unusual in the Rogue Isles, but I slightly felt I was being built up to expect something more unusual. Stealthed.

 

Ah, it has become clear, now I think to look at my clues. OK, that's interesting. I hope something more is going to be made of this than just "well, it's buggy".

 

Second mission (stealthed): "[NPC] Longbow Minigun: Me neither. Arachnos scares me." This is not normal for Longbow. Now, if later in the arc it turns out there's a reason, that'll be satisfying. (After completion; I feel this was an opportunity to give an additional clue based on how odd you thought that was.)

I'd prefer it if Captain Baker had been always shown as an objective, but I guess you want to chain the lot to avoid me getting "Investigate further" before finishing the bombs. Suggest the main mission description could be changed from "Destroy the Longbow base" to "Defeat Longbow base commander, destroy base" or something similar, to make it clear there's a boss+guards.

I do like objectives revealed mid-mission, in moderation, but "Investigate further" led me to expect a glowie, not a boss. Perhaps the clue could hint at an enemy to defeat?

 

Third mission briefing: are the Snakes really "supernatural"? Their origins might be a bit, but I sort of expect people in City of X to have a much higher standard for what counts as supernatural, given psychic powers and fireball-flingers are everyday things. Also, the Rogue Isles "are" full of them. I doubt Arachnos has deemed it "sufficient" - "desirable"? "necessary"? Spurious capital in "Destroy".

Cleared the third mission. Some good NPC dialogue. However, here I have the opposite problem - when I plant the bomb it tells me the AE system is not letting me leave, but I have a whole list of objectives. The contact even told me about the operative to rescue in advance.

Reynard is level 10 for some reason (unfortunate choice of NPC type?) so I'm glad I found him last because he would have had a serious glass jaw. More generally I personally would suggest not using an escort-out if an ordinary hostage will tell the same story.

It is during this mission I guessed what the plot was going to be.

 

Exit popup - "test," wrongly encloses a comma.

 

Fourth mission (stealthed): "Future Force," also has eaten a comma in a clue. Also, I appreciate you work with the map tiles that exist, but this is a nice-looking office and obviously not covered in slime. "I think I might have made an error guys" is missing a comma. One of the glowies seems to take a looooong time to collect. "Captain Vensworth," and "Bait and Switch,", same problem. The Altering Tether is just marked as one of the 5 clues, which again has the glowie/defeat confusion (this may seem trivial, but in the regular game the compass instructions are almost always accurate, even if that lets you peek ahead a bit with instructions like "1 device to destroy").

"[NPC] Captain Vensworth: You know, I expected more from a Arachnos Widow. Guess the briefings were wrong" is an odd thing to say when I've just yoinked off half his hitpoints. Is this perhaps meant to be dialogue on defeating me? Also, one of his guards ended up far enough away not to notice me in that fight, which increased the vexation of not being told this clue was a boss+guards.

I'm slightly confused at the end of this mission. If the device I pulled from Captain Vensworth is all I need, what's the Altering Tether for? (And why does its clue call it a "Portal Tether"?)

 

Fifth mission briefing: I think either one wipes out all the Longbow operatives, or one kills (or defeats, etc) every last Longbow operative. You don't generally wipe out a singular entity. It's a timed mission; the plot doesn't justify making it a timed mission, IMHO.

I can live with one or two, but being given four bosses to kill in the objectives seems a bit overkill when it's a defeat-all. IIRC, compass text for defeat objectives is optional. I could be wrong.

The real Longbow, who we are fighting now, don't talk about crisps. This is not consistent with their existing characterisation. This joke could be put in as a clue where you wonder if they're really that po-faced all the time, don't they ever just sit back and eat crisps?

Future Force was much easier for me to beat than Warp Shot. This might just be a lucky matchup of powers for me, but I don't see the problem with making her an EB. She says "...  With you going back into a cell!" - the capital W is spurious since this is part of her previous sentence. I'm afraid her corpse despawned before I could read her bio, but I found it odd that she is supposedly a member of Longbow but has a different appearance and uses a weapon Longbow don't use. (Warp Shot's bio neatly explains how he mixes up the usual procession of red and white.)

 

I laughed at "As you return from your excursion into the real world, back into... well, the real world". I did not like the last "maybe it was all a dream" paragraph. I have "better things to do anyway", not "anyways".

 

I gave this three stars. It's perfectly satisfactory with no particularly serious problems, but I think it could be improved. In particular, I think the same plot could easily fit into four missions, which would tighten things up considerably. It does follow a well-established and sensible structure for a City plot; you start on a routine assignment, a mystery emerges, it turns out to be a heroic/villainous plot, you go and give whoever's plot it is a good kicking.

Edited April 20, 2020 by thunderforce

[thunderforce]

Arc ID: 25717

Length: 3 missions

Level Range: 33-54

Morality: Heroic

Keywords: Solo Friendly, Comedy, Romance

Warnings: I think I'm less funny than I think I am.

Description: Azuria has become aware of the plight of Turndown Girl, endlessly rejecting Desperate Guy. Help her resolve the situation... while occasionally breaking the fourth wall and punching the Fifth Column.

[thunderforce]

I hope I haven't choked this by writing so much. 😞

[GastlyGibus]

On 4/23/2020 at 11:38 AM, thunderforce said:

I hope I haven't choked this by writing so much. 😞

Don't worry, this thread isn't as active as I thought it'd be, but I'm still keeping an eye on it. I'm gonna give someone else a chance to look at yours so I don't look like I'm endlessly plugging my own arcs. 

 

I appreciate your review though, and I'll definitely play through yours soon. If nobody else posts a review in the next week, I'll go ahead and post mine here for you. 😄

Edited May 2, 2020 by GastlyGibus
Typo