Jim "Thunderhead" Bartlett

[BasiliskXVIII]

•  From the moment he spawns in, Jim "Thunderhead" Bartlett sees a silver glowing line which he is compelled to follow inexorably to his painful death.
• Jim "Thunderhead" Bartlett once went to get a glass of water. There were no survivors. 
• The sun doesn’t rise. It just checks to see if Jim ‘Thunderhead’ Bartlett is still alive.
• Jim "Thunderhead" Bartlett doesn't need enemies to die in a mission. He just needs 30 seconds and a particularly sharp table corner.
• The term "unalived" didn't come into use to bypass internet content censors. It came into being because Jim "Thunderhead" Bartlett ran out of synonyms for "dead."
• Jim "Thunderhead" Bartlett once needed to use the mediport system because he died in the mediport system.
• The Mapserver event happens because Jim "Thunderhead" Bartlett survives a mission and the mapserver takes that personally.
• When Jim ‘Thunderhead’ Bartlett uses stealth, it’s so enemies don’t see where he’s planning to die.

• Jim "Thunderhead" Bartlett survived World War II. This remains one of the greatest mysteries of the modern age.

• Jim ‘Thunderhead’ Bartlett is proof that God has a sense of humour... And a mean streak.

• Jim "Thunderhead" Bartlett once had a heart attack. His heart gained XP.

• Every time the game is made easier, it's done to give Jim "Thunderhead" Bartlett a chance to survive.

• It never works.

• Every time Jim ‘Thunderhead’ Bartlett respawns, the mediport system files a complaint.

• The tide doesn’t come in because of the moon. The ocean is stalking Jim ‘Thunderhead’ Bartlett.

• Jim ‘Thunderhead’ Bartlett once tried to hide in a safe room. The room burned down.

• When Jim ‘Thunderhead’ Bartlett buys insurance, the company folds overnight.

• When moving into a new neighbourhood, Jim "Thunderhead" Bartlett is legally mandated to inform his neighbours that he is listed as an environmental hazard in three states and the Rogue Isles.

• The stick figure represented on caution signs and emergency exit signage is intended to represent Jim "Thunderhead" Bartlett.

• Nemesis cannot plot around Jim "Thunderhead" Bartlett, as he dies immediately upon being perceived.

• Killing Jim "Thunderhead" Bartlett is not considered a crime, but a statistical inevitability.

• Jim "Thunderhead" Bartlett once visited Baumton. It's Boomtown now.

Edited Thursday at 09:04 PM by BasiliskXVIII

[Major_Decoy]

General Aarons is a tactical genius. He knows that key to every battle is running up to your enemy and smacking them with your pistol.

[Snarky]

The Necromancer who ordered “The Charge of The Wight Brigade!”

[MTeague]

I kept him alive easily on my Mind/Kin controller. I just spammed the Sheet out of Transfusion, Dominate, and Confuse.

Royally sucked on my Scrapper, though.

 

[EDIT:  wait, my bad, it was General Aarons who I kept alive. Him pistol whipping everyone meant he was always in range for a Transfusion. I make no claims for Thunderhead.]

Edited Thursday at 10:14 PM by MTeague

[sponazgul]

Captain Sherman the Nemesis defector is the love child of General Aarons and Thunderhead

Edited yesterday at 01:04 AM by sponazgul
Autocorrect had turned defector into detector