The New Name

[Marine X]

Well, with Chief Wahoo Retired some time ago it is finally upon The Cleveland Indians to change their name. Even though Indians is a misnomer that explorers looking to find the East Indies slapped on the Native Peoples they discovered in the New World, it has apparently got to go. I gave it some careful thought and have a few suggestions listed below.

 

The Cleveland Cannibals

It would strike fear in the hearts of their opponents and grim consequences if they stranded a runner on 2nd base. Tailgating would also be scrutinized a great deal more, but everything is better barbequed, right?

Hey, where's Timmy?

 

The Cleveland Clowns

This is already in use as a derogatory nickname for the Cleveland Browns, so why not make it an Official Team Name. Wearing of Big Red Noses and Giant Shoes would probably be Career ending, but they could definitely take the field all packed into a Tiny Car and emerge to the sound of 10,000 Bicycle Horns honking.

 

The Cleveland Cocks

What?.....You know, Roosters...you just had to go there didn't you. I know there are some "Me Too" problems with a Male of a species that runs around having sex with a whole bunch of Females whether they want it or not, but I love eggs and lots of stuff that are made with them so I am willing to let this one slide. Plus we could, after a Cocks Homerun, have a Rooster Crowing over the PA, you know, a wake up call.

 

The Cleveland Cannabis

Since Progressive Field is just down wind from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this seems a natural choice. It's actually amazing how much a Buckeye Leaf looks like Cannabis. We would sell T-Shirts, hats and Jerseys like there was no tomorrow. Back to the Tailgaters, they probably sneak the stuff into as many brownies and cookies as they can, and it makes a fine garnish for a Medium Rare T-Bone.

 

The Cleveland Mad Cows

Let me remind you that when WNCI Columbus held a Contest to name the new Columbus NHL Hockey Franchise The Mad Cows was the landslide winner, then the team management walked away from the winner and chose the Columbus Bluejackets, a blue bee with an attitude, very weak, it's a winter sport, bees are dead or asleep in the winter, very very weak. Just Imagine the stands filled with Holstien Pattern Hats and Jerseys, beautiful, simply awe inspiring.

 

Well let me know what you think, It'll probably end up being decided to go with the Pre-Indians Team name the Cleveland Spiders, but I like my ideas better.

 

 

 

 

Edited July 26, 2020 by Marine X

[ImpousVileTerror]

The Cleveland This-Sport-is-Dying-its-Slow-Death-and-Star-Trek-Probably-Got-It-Right.

 

That, or The Cleveland Cleavers.

[Mr. Vee]

 

[Techwright]

On 7/26/2020 at 4:42 AM, Marine X said:

 

The Cleveland Cocks

What?.....You know, Roosters...you just had to go there didn't you. I know there are some "Me Too" problems with a Male of a species that runs around having sex with a whole bunch of Females whether they want it or not, but I love eggs and lots of stuff that are made with them so I am willing to let this one slide. Plus we could, after a Cocks Homerun, have a Rooster Crowing over the PA, you know, a wake up call.

 

 

I have no team loyalty to anyone, but speaking as a native South Carolinian, whose boss used to play football for the USC Gamecocks,  Cleveland will NOT want this particular name.  The jokes get really stale, really fast.  And a nearby tiger team will not have the good grace to know when they've carried on too long and stop issuing them (pointing to Detroit, but glaring at Clemson).    On the plus side, the closer you get to the Tiger team, the more freely they pass around the fried chicken.  So there's that...

 

Oh, and unless you want people to start chucking shoes at the players, I'd pass on the name "spiders" as well.