The Catacombs of Mars - #57809

[Clave Dark 5]

So back on Live, I was working on this one story and gave up because of how wonky the AE works, which included weird NPC actions despite being set to do X.  I've now resurrected this from the tombs, thinking it was "nearly done" but ho ho, nooooo... I've reworked it into nearly a workable shape, notwithstanding the NPCs still doing a few odd things when they shouldn't.  Regardless, it works!

 

 

To give you some ideas about it...

• It was inspired a number of sci-fi films such as Planet Of The Vampires and Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars, which is shares some DNA with, although I didn't see that one until I already had most of the story worked out. 
• You may also note similarities to a certain group of in-game foes, lore that I also didn't know when I conceived the story, ha ha.
• This is a straight-forward style of story telling, nothing surreal as some of my past (but not all!) AE stories have been.

 

Enjoy!

[Ankylosaur]

Always wanted to do a space adventure myself and am thrilled you took it on. 

 

Notes as I go through it...

Spoiler

M1

1. Typo in first mission start clue "your three day"
2. Because of how I passed some "hatch" glowies, I ran back to the front to click them, and then had no objectives. So I went to the back room just to see if he was there. Said another way - it is odd that our man in the end room was not there the first time I went in.
3. Would "rubble" be more like sand that blew in? I found the spires to be more lnvasive and um - breakable - than just sand
4. typo in rescue clue "It's its"
5. Great mood and eager to see how it unfolds 
6. Was not super clear that the back was airtight since I found a "hatch" in the same room as the rescuee who said he had no helmet. Maybe put all hatches in the front or middle?

 

M2 - more soon

 

[Zhym]

Pretty fun story.  I do like the "Mars Base" theme.  Good use of existing maps to fit the theme.

 

Spoiler comments on the last mission:

 

Spoiler

FWIW, I'm really not a fan of timed missions (just ask @cranebump!).  I get the story purpose here, but for me, a timer usually gets in the way of the story.  There was a lot going on in that last mission that I basically just ran past because of the timer.  Clues?  Character Info text fields?  Maybe there were some, but I didn't look because I had a timer to deal with.  And in a well-constructed arc like this, that's a shame.

 

Plus, there's just the real-life aspect of not always being ready to deal with a 10 minute timer without warning.  Heck, I only noticed the timer when I was reading the mission intro text—at which point I ignored the text and started into the mission.  Because timer.  So at the very least, there should be some warning that the last mission is timed before accepting it.

Like I said, I get the timer from a story perspective.  But from a game mechanics perspective, I kind of hate it.  Is there some other way to create a sense of urgency without using a timer, so that it's possible to actually see all the work you put into that last mission?

 

Edited November 10, 2023 by Zhym

[cranebump]

8 hours ago, Zhym said:

Pretty fun story.  I do like the "Mars Base" theme.  Good use of existing maps to fit the theme.

 

Spoiler comments on the last mission:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

FWIW, I'm really not a fan of timed missions (just ask @cranebump!).  I get the story purpose here, but for me, a timer usually gets in the way of the story.  There was a lot going on in that last mission that I basically just ran past because of the timer.  Clues?  Character Info text fields?  Maybe there were some, but I didn't look because I had a timer to deal with.  And in a well-constructed arc like this, that's a shame.

 

Plus, there's just the real-life aspect of not always being ready to deal with a 10 minute timer without warning.  Heck, I only noticed the timer when I was reading the mission intro text—at which point I ignored the text and started into the mission.  Because timer.  So at the very least, there should be some warning that the last mission is timed before accepting it.

Like I said, I get the timer from a story perspective.  But from a game mechanics perspective, I kind of hate it.  Is there some other way to create a sense of urgency without using a timer, so that it's possible to actually see all the work you put into that last mission?

 

 

To piggy backing off Zhym here:

Spoiler

I've gone back and dropped timers on a lot of my old mishes. These days I don't use them at all. My main reason not to use them now is that I can't branch the outcomes. There is no effect on the subsequent mission. In the end, I'm having to write additional text in the failure boxes (return and pop-up, if used). Further, if it's a finale, and the player time fails, you end up with an unsatisfying arc from the player perspective. They're the protagonist.

 

That said, here's what I'd do if I felt the need for one:

*Use the next step higher than my first inclination (i.e., if thinking 30 mins, make it 45).

*Keep clues and send off text short (the shorter the timer, the fewer/shorter the clues).

*Avoid large maps.

*Avoid multiple objectives, especially a lot of glowies (and whatever glowies I use, make them the kind that are easiest to spot). This is relative to the time selected. For example, 10-minute mish is going to have 1 objective, close by. Regardless of the situation, once the timer shuts off, the team can explore the map, if they want.

*If possible, warn about the timer in the mission intro screen, rather than the mish send off, which starts the timer. Especially if the timer is short. 

*Never use a timer in a finale.

 

I should state here that I have broken every single one of these rules, above, at least once (sometimes multiple times for a single mish). Those were good days.:-)

 

[Clave Dark 5]

23 hours ago, Ankylosaur said:

Always wanted to do a space adventure myself and am thrilled you took it on. 

 

Notes as I go through it...

  Hide contents

1. Typo in first mission start clue "your three day" -- Thanks for mentioning such, I'll get to them.
2. Because of how I passed some "hatch" glowies, I ran back to the front to click them, and then had no objectives. So I went to the back room just to see if he was there. Said another way - it is odd that our man in the end room was not there the first time I went in. -- He spawns after they're all shut, that was a choice for how the story flows.
3. Would "rubble" be more like sand that blew in? I found the spires to be more lnvasive and um - breakable - than just sand -- Rubble doesn't drift.  😃 I see your point though.  And look how much do we really know about Martian sand?  It might explode like those rocks on that one Star Trek planet, you don't know!  
4. Was not super clear that the back was airtight since I found a "hatch" in the same room as the rescuee who said he had no helmet. Maybe put all hatches in the front or middle? -- During testing I occasionally saw one spawn back there too; they are set for Front though, so there's not too much I can do about that, that's AE wonkiness, sadly.  Something happens with NPCs in the second mish that's going to feel worth mentioning too, and it too is part of the AE wonkiness (and was one reason I gave up on completing this one back in the day).  At this point I just write and get it as close to what I want, and have to suffer the weird quirks... Otherwise I'd never write AE arcs again.

Thanks for playing and I hope you enjoy the rest!

 

Some points addressed above in the hidden text (I hope, I'm not sure how that works on these forums)/

[Clave Dark 5]

11 hours ago, Zhym said:

Pretty fun story.  I do like the "Mars Base" theme.  Good use of existing maps to fit the theme.

 

Spoiler comments on the last mission:

 

  Hide contents

FWIW, I'm really not a fan of timed missions (just ask @cranebump!).  I get the story purpose here, but for me, a timer usually gets in the way of the story.  There was a lot going on in that last mission that I basically just ran past because of the timer.  Clues?  Character Info text fields?  Maybe there were some, but I didn't look because I had a timer to deal with.  And in a well-constructed arc like this, that's a shame.

 

To answer both you and @cranebump, I did choose the timer and I'm standing by it.  I feel it's a personal preference thing, like some people like huge maps and multi-arc storylines, or only canon stories or whatever you may like.  I don't feel this timer is poorly chosen nor too difficult to beat.  There also isn't too much to miss as you've already run across just about everything here in the previous parts, and what new stuff that there is in there isn't too verbose.  I'll grant there could be a warning in the Arc Window (as reproduced above) so I can work on fitting that into the text, I think I might have enough characters, or I can fiddle to make things fit.  And the timer isn't there so much for urgency as, well, to get across things I'm intending in the story, and I distinctly wanted these two endings to be possibilities.  Personal preference may dictate that it pains you too much to ever fail a mission, but I actually prefer the ending that I wrote for when you fail...

 

(Did that sound spooky?  I wanted it to sound spooky, ha ha.)

 

Again, notes inside in hidden stuff...

[Zhym]

Spoiler

32 minutes ago, Clave Dark 5 said:

I don't feel this timer is poorly chosen nor too difficult to beat.

Your arc, your choice, of course.  But two more points on how this works in your arc:

1. I didn't find it all that hard to beat, but that was partly because I was running a stealthy incarnate who could run past all the mobs looking for the objectives, then pop Barrier to destroy the objectives relatively unhassled.
2. Finding those two objectives was kind of a pain, though.  Even though they're both in one room, that room has multiple levels.  It wasn't a major pain—I ended up just going up and around every level of the superstructure—but it was kind of a pain.
3. As a result of (1) and (2), the final mission was just "find the objectives, destroy them, done," with the story really not being a factor.  If that's the effect you want, great.  But it seems a damn shame to me, since there's a lot of stuff that seems to be going on in that last mission that gets thrown out the window because of the sudden urgency for a timer.

I'd also argue that when you prefer the ending when a player fails, you're putting your own story over the player's enjoyment.  That's a choice you can make, but don't be surprised if the result is that some players decide your arc isn't actually that fun.

 

Edited November 10, 2023 by Zhym

[Clave Dark 5]

9 hours ago, Zhym said:

  Hide contents

1. I didn't find it all that hard to beat, but that was partly because I was running a stealthy incarnate who could run past all the mobs looking for the objectives, then pop Barrier to destroy the objectives relatively unhassled.

I played thru it with multiple toons before publishing, including a poorly armored blaster sans stealth.  She had the toughest run but still made it with three or four minutes to spare.  Incarnates are unneeded, even in this age of steamrolling that we have on HC.

1. Finding those two objectives was kind of a pain, though.  Even though they're both in one room, that room has multiple levels.  It wasn't a major pain—I ended up just going up and around every level of the superstructure—but it was kind of a pain.

One of my runs one of the two literally spawned right at the door into that room, which is a problem with making it far too easy.  Some runs are going to have the two objectives more easily spawned this way as we can't control the AE all that well; other times it might be tougher.  Even that aside, on some of my runs I had to run up the levels too but still survived it.  Real talk, I never failed it during all my testing (and I really need to go fail one to make sure the AE actually tracks it all correctly).

1. As a result of (1) and (2), the final mission was just "find the objectives, destroy them, done," with the story really not being a factor.  If that's the effect you want, great.  But it seems a damn shame to me, since there's a lot of stuff that seems to be going on in that last mission that gets thrown out the window because of the sudden urgency for a timer.

I've already laid all its cards on the table there is nothing else other than this last big scene.  Think Lord Recluse with his... color tower dealies in the Ms. Liberty task force: that story focuses on that for its finale, there is nothing else, you don't need anything else there, and that's the point.  (That's also a story that's not too easy to complete, but I'm pretty sure my story here is easier than Ms. Lib's)

 

I'd also argue that when you prefer the ending when a player fails, you're putting your own story over the player's enjoyment.  That's a choice you can make, but don't be surprised if the result is that some players decide your arc isn't actually that fun.

 

I feel you're making a judgement call on what may or may not be fun to some people (people can enjoy a story for what it is) without having seen it, but that's OK, you don't have to like what I do.  And go ahead and say this is YOU "deciding my arc isn't actually that fun," you don't need to sort of dance around that, promise.  😃

 

I am still taking this to heart though and will be adjusting dialogue to make more plain what's coming up, thanks for that!

 

 

[Clave Dark 5]

I've fixed the noted typos and updated some of the dialogue to make sure the timed mission doesn't surprise anyone.

[Kyksie]

I vaguely remember on the Live server someone did an arc based on Burroughs' work, as that you?

[Clave Dark 5]

4 hours ago, Kyksie said:

I vaguely remember on the Live server someone did an arc based on Burroughs' work, as that you?

Nope, I've never read any of it.  That was, as I understand it, "adventure fiction," this is horror.

[Kyksie]

19 hours ago, Clave Dark 5 said:

Nope, I've never read any of it.  That was, as I understand it, "adventure fiction," this is horror.

 

Burroughs' John Carter series was pulp adventure. It was better than the average pulp story, but objectively it wasn't great.

[cranebump]

Spoiler

Ran it. It's got great writing. It's all story, however, so a typical player running AE might not appreciate it for what it is. I grew up reading Bradbury, so the whole "strange things on Mars" vibe is cool to me. There's an element of the occult, in this entity that just isn't going to be stopped. And, I suppose a Twilight Zone feel. I really liked the 'bots and the look of the customs. Forewarned by the timer, I just sped through to the lava room, and finished with plenty of time to spare.

 

I did note one formatting issue (and thought I took a pic, but when I went to get it, I had nothing in the buffer). There's a stray </color> formatting string at the end of the mish text, I think it was send off for finale.

 

Great writing and atmosphere.

 

 

[Clave Dark 5]

Thanks for playing and I'm glad you enjoyed it!  I'll get right on fixing that extra brackets typo thingy next time I can log in.

[Ankylosaur]

Though I did not write up the rest - enjoyed it! Fun adventure though...

 

Spoiler

The fact that there is no way to win works for fiction, but will be hard for a serious roleplayer to reconcile.

 

But not being a serious role player - was a fun adventure and clever use of the tools available to tell it.