LordRassilon Posted January 2 Posted January 2 (edited) It's been a long, labour of love writing, editing, play testing, adjusting, re-writing, re-editing and polishing, but the 3rd and final chapter of my AE story is done. Huge thanks to Darmian, Ankylosaur and Cranebump for all your tips and ideas in helping refine the finished product. And huge thanks to my twitch friend, Aurethious, for doing the final run through of the arc! I hope you all enjoy the story. As always I'm only too happy for tips on how to get the mechanics to work better, my main focus is simply telling a good story. Glad to be able to ring in the New Year with this project at long last finished 😄 Cheers, folks! Edited January 2 by LordRassilon 1
Darmian Posted January 2 Posted January 2 Looking forward to playing it 1 AE SFMA Arcs: The Meteors (Arc id 42079) | Dark Deeds in Galaxy City: Part One. (Arc id 26756) X | Dark Deeds in Galaxy City: Part Two. (Arc id 26952) | Dark Deeds in Galaxy City: Part Three. (Arc id 27233) Darker Deeds: Part One (Arc id 28374) | Darker Deeds: Part Two. (Arc id 28536) | Darker Deeds: Part Three. (Arc id 29252) | Darkest Before Dawn: Part One (Arc id 29891) | Darkest Before Dawn: Part Two (Arc id 30210) | Darkest Before Dawn: Part Three (Arc id 30560) | Bridge of Forever ( Arc id 36642) | The Cassini Division (Arc id 37104) X | The House of Gaunt Saints (Arc id 37489) X | The Spark of the Blind (Arc id 40403) | Damnatio Memoriae (Arc id 41140) X | The Eve of War (Arc id 41583) X | Spirals: Part One. (Arc id 55109) | Spirals: Part Two. (Arc id 55358) | Spirals: Part Three. (Arc id 57197) I Sing of Arms and the Man (Arc id 42617) | Three Sisters (Arc id 43013) (Pre War Praetorian Loyalist. Pre War Praetorian Resistance. Pre ITF Cimerora. Post ITF Cimerora. X = Dev Choice/Hall of Fame )
cranebump Posted January 3 Posted January 3 I’ve been on somewhat infrequently, but will work in your finale asap. 1 I have done a TON of AE work, both long form and single arc. Just search the AE mish list for my sig @cranebump. For more information on my stories, head to the AE forum sub-heading and look for “Crane’s World.” Support your AE authors! We ARE the new content.
cranebump Posted January 5 Posted January 5 Okay, let's see how it goes: Spoiler Intro screen: a minor thing, but I would call Numina intractable rather than irretractable. Mainly because it's more common, and the definition of the latter reads, in part: "an intractable disposition." This, of course, is a VERY minor quibble. (VERY...):-) Nice atmospheric text, esp. desc's of what the NPCs are up to. "Off to see the wizard." Heh...okay. Skewing toward narrative. Interesting choice. Writing is excellent. I don't know if the King is set to follow, but he is. Good. Let him do what I want, for once (Hey, King. Why don't YOU run back and forth between Sky and Steel awhile, you $^#&@^wad.):-) Well, I'll be damned. John Knox. This guy is a key figure in one of my own Long Forms (Mobius, which you should someday play):-) 'k they're all following, so obviously this is my team. Wonder what I need them for (not worried...noooooooo....) Angus! FYI: I'd look into his character text in his arch. He always has this send off thing: I have been authorized by my superiors to request your assistance to...Probably don't have the room for that under his desc text, but it's a noteworthy habit of his. Of course, this is just window dressing. I'm assuming the NPC verbiage aren't dropped in clues due to character constraints. If I don't really need to refer back to my clues screen, this is cool. If you think there's something I need to recall, though, perhaps it should drop there. FYI: I don't know if everyone else does, but I keep a clues screen open at all times in AE. Wish I could convince everyone else to do that on these stories. It's helpful, though it does take up some space. Meh...c'est la vie. Decided that chat verbiage works better, since the main clues we need are dropped in. I may have to try that someday. Just realized I have this thing on default settings. Could easily cruise, esp. since I'm running a pretty good FA/Dark tank. AND I have all this help. Done. By the numbers. (the number being 5...4 is right out):-) On to 2: And the prof goes Doc Strange: Endgame on us. One shot you say, Eminem? I'd put carriage returns in the big accept clue to break up the text. Assuming the spaces fit. Great map for this. Those patrols can overlap in the central room near the beginning, which could make for some awesome scrums. The head librarian took a while to whittle down, surprisingly. Is he a custom? Wondering if my doubts about the professor's plan mean I'm going to end up fighting his ass.:-) On to 3: What do I know of Norse mythology? Well...oh...you really don't care do you, prof? (sniff, kicks dirt). 'k...:-) (FYI: My two thoughts were "World Tree," and "Serpent-who-destroys-everything-whose-name-I-can't-recall-but-it's-long-and-full-of-syllables. (heh) I assume deucedly is a typo? Or you've taught me a new way to say "shitty" in a nice way.:-) Ah...one of THESE cave maps. These are nice. I wish they had more objectives locations, though. I'd find a way to use them more (meaning me, in my own stories). Shoulda ran at x8. Maps feel empty on default. Derrrrrrr...I'm SMARRRRT. Really liked having DE allies.:-) Minor error on end screen. Need a space before the quote, "I promise Penelope will never know." I'd screenshot these, but I keep getting "exceeds limit" messages. Something on my end, surely. On to 4: Ha! The PCM. Figures... Off to beat up Schlongbow. Nice change of maps, regards to maps. A plain ol', well-lit lab. Good call. I wish we could populate these prison cells. On the cameos!:-) Also wish they had rails on all the bannisters, so I could indiscriminately race up them without falling (they obviously expect someone with grace, those f***ers).:-) Funny: I was about tu type "Hmmm...no ambushes yet." And lo and behold, Buster set some on me.:-) Headed back from rear room to grab the box I passed. And voila! Done. On to 5: Bottle of Serafina! Darmian will like the lore usage.:-) Save the World. Sounds easy enough.:-) Sonata's hellscape map. Niiiice. Merlin, QoH, and our final baddie. Nice fights in a small space. Well done! And we leave on a cliffhanger. (I was thinking we couldn't trust this asshole, and naturally, we couldn't...bastard...) Overall: 5/5 Well conceived and executed, both narratively and mechanically. Callbacks to PCM and Serafina. Good mix of enemies. Nothing major needs to be fixed (which is always nice). Consider: The opening map is rather large. That said, I'm not sure what smaller map would allow for the 5 destroys AND the NPC pickups, so this isn't a huge deal. It just spreads out your patrols somewhat, where they'd be more perilous in a smaller space. There's too much work put into really change that, though, I would think, and it's a MINOR deal, overall. Angus's verbiage is more refined and less stilted than in his arc. Maybe we can assume he shook off some of the effects of his transformation. Again, MINOR detail. He has a LOT to say in M4, so I can't see fiddling with it, unless you're just a stickler for things like that. I'm not normally, but I just ran his arc recently, and that stuck out about him to me. 1 I have done a TON of AE work, both long form and single arc. Just search the AE mish list for my sig @cranebump. For more information on my stories, head to the AE forum sub-heading and look for “Crane’s World.” Support your AE authors! We ARE the new content.
LordRassilon Posted January 6 Author Posted January 6 (edited) @cranebump Thanks for the input...I'll make the minor changes I can...much appreciated for the proof read! Hope the souvenir wasn't too long, but there was a lot left I wanted to say 🙂 Oh, and the Mage in Mission 2, that's one of the EBs from the final fight of Justin Augustine. Cheers! Edited January 6 by LordRassilon
cranebump Posted January 9 Posted January 9 It’s quite a story, LR. Clever framing device to allow you to use a wide variety of bad guys and customs. I still remember the Drac boss fight from #1. That was epic! I have done a TON of AE work, both long form and single arc. Just search the AE mish list for my sig @cranebump. For more information on my stories, head to the AE forum sub-heading and look for “Crane’s World.” Support your AE authors! We ARE the new content.
cranebump Posted January 10 Posted January 10 (edited) Also: thanks for the Mobius run.* Caught it after the fact when I did my usual check in with your channel. I actually have this coming Monday off and thought about hopping on when you do your AE runs. I'll have to (a) check the times and (b) decide if my old fartness can handle the early wakeup. I'd also need to swing a toon over to Everlast, but that's not a biggy. Thanks again, man. Hope you get a chance to get to the finale. *Didn't realize how tough the Shadows/Chalikar were with those settings and numbers, since I write for soloists (I knew the wandering mercs were a bear, since I always ran into their overlapping patrols on the second floor, where you can't really see how many of them there are when you enter through the choke point). Will say that, when you pulled the team back and started herding them, I got a big kick out of it. I was like, Oh man...Molly's goin' old school. And down they went.:-) Edited January 10 by cranebump 1 I have done a TON of AE work, both long form and single arc. Just search the AE mish list for my sig @cranebump. For more information on my stories, head to the AE forum sub-heading and look for “Crane’s World.” Support your AE authors! We ARE the new content.
LordRassilon Posted January 10 Author Posted January 10 @cranebump I know my streaming hours aren't friendly to many schedules 🙂 I'm usually on around 2 - 2:30am EST every Monday morning for AE content, and stream at least 3 - 4 hours of AE content. We're digging the Mobius story and are looking forward to more. First two parts down. Cheers! 1
LordRassilon Posted January 18 Author Posted January 18 @cranebump Upon replay of part 3, I decided to take your suggestion and doubled up the patrols in the one map you mentioned for its size (chosen for atmosphere and for the total objectives). I think you were right. There was a bit too much unused space. This will feel more like an invasion now 🙂 Thanks for the input!
cranebump Posted January 19 Posted January 19 Oh, man...now I'm glad I got through it when I did.:-) Just to be clear about my intent on that comment: I was not running on max settings. I thought I was more at fault than anything on the design front. But those maps feel sparse anyway, don't they? Should make for a hell of a run now. I have done a TON of AE work, both long form and single arc. Just search the AE mish list for my sig @cranebump. For more information on my stories, head to the AE forum sub-heading and look for “Crane’s World.” Support your AE authors! We ARE the new content.
Ankylosaur Posted February 12 Posted February 12 Really enjoyed this series - and some more fun customs in the finale! Some clever mechanics in this last one too. Loved speaking to my team. 1 AE Arcs: Search for @Ankylosaur * denotes Dev's Choice Adventures in Lit: Adventures in Wonderland - 25-54* | Adventures in Oz - 40-54 | Adventures in Neverland - 45-54 Notable One-offs: Rularularian - 41-54* | The Serpent Beyond the Horizon - 46-52* | Robolution - 25-34* | The Genesis & Geneticists of The Coming Hamiggedon - 41-54* | Spycraft and Spidermen - 40-47 | Return to Faultline - 40-54 Post-Praetoria Series: All That Glitters: Gold Brickers & Mooks - 9 Arcs | All That Glimmers: First Warders & Mu - 9 Arcs | All That Glints: The Awakened & Council - 3 Arcs | All That Glows: Nictus & 5th Column - 3 Arcs* | All That Gleams: Epilogue (Neo Tokyo) - 1 Arc
LordRassilon Posted February 12 Author Posted February 12 (edited) 8 hours ago, Ankylosaur said: Really enjoyed this series - and some more fun customs in the finale! Some clever mechanics in this last one too. Loved speaking to my team. I was glad to finally go back to this story I started back in 2022 🙂 It took so much work to find the right final map that gave me the control I was looking for. If anything H.O.W. 2 and 3 have taught me that smaller is better AND that the right map is worth making minor changes to your story! I can only imagine what AE writers could achieve if our tools were even just slightly more forgiving. Cheers, and thanks for the feedback! Edited February 12 by LordRassilon 1
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