Help me write ROBOT JOKES.

[Zombra]

Hi!  If you are in a hurry and just want to get to the point, skip down to ** The Mission **

 

Background: I like to make big banks of 'character barks' on rotating binds.  Some characters have rotating battle cries, or "Hello citizen" type lines, and a few other types based on unique concepts.

 

The Difficulty: Usually I use AI to generate a million ideas and I sift through them for inspiration, then edit/write the real lines for use in game.  But you know what AI is still terrible at?  COMEDY.  I have a comic character I need dialogue inspiration for and AI is no help at all.

 

The Solution: ask humans, who can actually be funny.

 

** The Mission **: I want a library of very short comedy bits for my Robots Mastermind and her wisecracking (?) sidekick Battle Drone.  The goal is to have a lot of quick throwaway one-liners or  "two-liners".  Nothing long that will clog the chat window.

Example:

K4Z-0: Your <bzt> last shot - missed by 3.7 - centimeters
Techno Smith: My next one won't.

 

That's it!  All ideas welcomed, but remember these are rotating binds to be spouted randomly, so anything that requires a specific situation probably won't get used.  I am still finding "voices" for both characters so anything goes as far as tone: clever, dumb, silly, subtle, slapstick, satire.  Ripping off existing jokes encouraged.  The only kind of humor that I find automatically boring is pop culture references.  Other than that, go ahead and start posting jokes.

 

Optional: further character details in case you want more context:

Spoiler

Techno Smith is an over the top, big blonde Praetorian supercop with stiletto heels, a rubber dress, and a gold-plated plasma rifle.  (Barb Wire is a big inspiration.)  She is a Responsibility Loyalist who believes in good government and serving the public, which does not preclude ridiculous action hero shenanigans with lots of explosions.  K4Z-0 (Kazo) is her first attempt at building a proprietary autonomous crimefighting AI.  It is years away from being intelligent enough to work on its own, but by golly it's trying to learn!

 

Edited July 3 by Zombra

[JKCarrier]

"I'd like to talk to you about your extended warranty..."
"Is that your face, or did you invest heavily in NFTs?"
"Pull it! Twist it! Bop it!"
"Scanner activated...no intelligent life detected."

[SquirrelWizard]

K4Z-0: "Daisy, Daisy..."
Techno Smith: "What was that K4Z-0?"
K4Z-0: "What was what?"

[Amp Up]

"Hello, world"

[WanderingAries]

I used to be asked if I was a robot, but then I found out I was just Autistic.

 

Also, anything I contribute will likely not compute or put you for(loop).

[Plutonix]

"even the most basic robots have brass knuckles"

[Andreah]

"My name is K4Z-0, you killed my father, prepare to die."
 

[Billbailey96]

I wanted to be a comedy-bot but I didn't have the bits...
Don't blame me! I use Linux. 
Error 40404: Mercy not found
 

10 Hit evil-doer

20 Goto 10

 

Techno Smith: Hey K4Z-0 did I ever tell you about the time I-

K4Z-0: SELF DESTRUCT INITIATED.

K4Z-0: I HAVE TROUBLE IDENTFYING THE SIDEWALK.

Techno Smith: Hey K4Z-0, I guess this makes you Tech Support!
K4Z-0: FRIENDLY FIRE MODE ENABLED