Kyksie

A nice fun arc. Non-coders won't get a lot of the jokes, and those who weren't around in the 80's will miss some of the references, but this is an MMO that came out 16 years ago, so I'm sure that every last one of us is at least 40 years old with Github open on the other screen.

If anyone has been wondering where Kyskie has been recently, she finally found a job as an overnight security guard at a medical marijuana facility in nearby Warwick. Things were uneventful the past few months, until last night, when instead of getting onto the bus back to Paragon City, she accidentally got on the helicopter to Warburg. Warzone Agent Goddard met Kyksie as she arrived on the platform, finishing off the last of her Taco Bell chalupas. 1) A mysterious dude named Sam has tipped Goddard that something weird has been happening in the tunnels beneath Warburg, could you take a look? Kyksie investigates, and discovers the unthinkable: Arachnoids with boobs. 2) Marshall Blitz is planning to transport a group of "Arachnesses" to Paragon City, presumably to start an Arachnoid nail salon or something. Kyksie hops in and makes with the kicking. 3) Now they're doing experiments on Arachnesses. Kyksie searches the lab for a Fritos vending machine but finds only a plan to make more Arachnesss using Lord Recluse's blood. Annoyed, she plants a bomb in the lab, then goes looking for a late night gas station. 4) Sam is trapped in a cave, go save him. We rescue his Arachnoid friends and clear his browser history. 5) Lolth the Spider Queen is on the verge of attacking Paragon City with an army of Drow, or something like that. Kyksie smoked another doobie on the way over, so the entire battle was kind of a blur. Marshal Blitz has some odd dialog about wanting the Arachnoids to hook up with nice lady spiders and have lots of spiderlings. Like all the other arcs by this author, Spycraft and Spidermen is fun and well written, with no overly tough mobs or time wasters.

Time wasters are usually one of the following: * Requiring the player to defeat all enemies (this can be forgiven if the map is very small) * Using 17 glowies when 3 would be fine * Requiring the player to escort a hostage across the map (again, forgivable if the map is small) As a rule of thumb, if something would require the player to spend more then a minute, ask yourself "is this really needed to get my point across?".

I ran through the first one (26756) and it was pretty good. Quality writing, well done custom mobs, no time wasters.

This is a fun joke-ish arc, chronicling the shutdown of the original game. The player goes after "Soften Sea", recovering the Codex of Ultimate Wisdom or something. The foes are a custom group with at least a dozen types, all of whom have funny bios. The joke density is high, and all of them hit the mark, making this a must play. The only downside is that people who weren't there for the shutdown won't get it. Incidentally, does anyone with a long memory recall an AE called "Your final Mission", which was released about a month before Live shutdown? It was designed to provide a way to retire your favorite character or something.

1) After a sudden sneeze blasts out all the windows in the Skyway City Super Duper Mart, Hayfever Lass finds herself in the PPD jail, where she is approached by one Tristanna Caine, who works for "Section 41", a top-secret off-the-books division of the PPD (a bit cliche, but oh well). In exchange for losing my paperwork or something, she sends me into the sewers to rescue her friend, Juliana Nehring. The sewer just happens to have computers containing the details of Dr. Vahzilok's plot to have his minions pee in the city's water or something. 2) Into the sewers again to recover more data on Dr. Vazh's new project, the "menuloks", who I guess are zombies make up from restaurant scraps or something. I dunno. Tristanna warns me not to touch the machines in there, but Hayfever Lass manages to break all of them by sneezing on them. Oh no, the 5th column is involved! 3) So now it seems that Section 41 doesn't exist, not in a top-secret 'disavow all knowledge' way, but it really doesn't exist, and Tristanna isn't real or something, so we go into (wait for it) a warehouse, where we find Tristanna, who is really someone else, and she was trying to infiltrate Section 41, which actually does exist. Or something. 4) Off to an office to collect evidence on Section 41, which really does exist, really. This mission has custom mobs, about half a dozen types, with bios and varying powers. This mission suffers from a bit of Objective Overload, with 12 glowies to click, 2 things to smash, and Defeat All. Interestingly, this office is the one with the hole in the floor that leads to the sewers, which suggests that Section 41's off-the-books budget is rather tight. since they can't afford a office with intact floors. It must kinda suck to work for a black-ops group with a tiny budget. I'm imagining their agents taking the bus to their target's home to assassinate him, then waiting for off-peak hours to report the job done. 5) Now, we head into a 5th column base to put an end to the Menulok project. Again, a bit of Objective Overload, with 6 glowies to click and 5 thingies to smash. Then we pummel Dr. Menulok, who is actually a brainwashed Tristan Caine. After the mission, we try to get the brainwashing undone, but Section 41 can only afford Big Jim's Discount Deprogramming, which is really just the back room of a Major Flanders' Fried Chicken, where the assistant manager splashes expired Orange Crush on his face while saying "Snap out of it, okay?" Friends and Lovers is another very well executed arc, with excellent writing and a well done custom group. My only nitpick is too many objectives in a few maps.

A quick joke arc, the player is tasked by "Saint Jessica" with finding out why devils are getting into Heaven, then stopping them, the going to Hell to pummel Satan. There are at least a dozen types of custom mobs, all with funny descriptions. The whole arc is fast and not too hard. My only nitpick is that the contact dialog is barely one sentence per screen, and no contact bio.

This is a quickie joke arc, wherein the Circle has stolen your birthday cake for some reason, maybe to offer as a sacrifice to the birthday gods. You pummel the mages and get the delicious cake. It's a bit bloated (why are there four "the cake thief"?) but it makes for a fun five minutes, especially if it is in fact your birthday and you're celebrating it via Zoom with a reheated Hostess Ding-Dong.

This is an odd one. First the player (reduced to lvl 15) rescues "The Spanish Maine" from some ghost pirates. Or are they pirate ghosts? Then you're in the criminally underused Preatorian slum map, rescuing five heroes with colorful descriptions, one of whom turns on you for some unknown reason. The contact speaks only in song quotes featuring the work "Jack". Then you follow the smell of rum to an alien signal, then rescue a guy from a prison, then the contact dies I think. This is a vanity arc for the author's old SG, featuring the old characters. People who were in the old SG will no doubt get a kick out of seeing the old faces again, but the general public will be kinda lost, like watching a foreign film but the subtitles are in yet another language.

I was able to complete it this time, and this is definitely a top-notch arc. Great writing, compelling characters, copious use of clues, no spelling errors, no time wasters. Let me restate that for emphasis; no time wasters. Even pausing to read all the dialog, including over a dozen clues, I was able to complete this in under 15 mins. My only minor gripe is the morality. The player is cast as a villain (you're approached at random walking through Grandville) but throughout the arc the player doesn't act villainous, you're all "I'll help out, for SCIENCE!" Maybe you're a hero who just went to Grandville for coffee like Arbiter Sands does. Anyway, this is a great arc that everyone should play!

I tried this just now, and mission 2 glitched. Taking the hostages to the map exit didn't work; the waypoint was way off the map.

This... uh... this has been in the game how long?

I took a quick run through this just now. It's a quick, fun story with a lot of jokes, although a few are injokes that only hardcore oldschool players will get. The mobs aren't too hard, and (this is important) there are no time-wasters, a good character can bang through it in five minutes. My only nitpick is a few missing details; no contact bio, and some of the custom mobs have Fifth Column bios. IMHO the final boss should have the full text of the original 🙂

Another week stuck at home, and many of us are starting to go off the deep end from boredom. Alphabetizing the spice rack and watching the entirety of Bewitched on Netflix only go so far, leaving us scrambling for ways to fill the time. Instead of filming your own telenovella or building a 1/10 scale replica of the Alamo in the backyard, Moonstar ULTIMATE: Part 5 gives us a way to make the hours fly by. 1) Again, the contact is Celeste Moonstar, who tells us that the assault on THE ENTITY is beginning. However, we still haven't been told who or what THE ENTITY is. Spider-Kitty does a quick Google, and the only thing she finds is a 1982 movie about a woman raped by a ghost. Hopefully that isn't what we'll be facing here, but Kitty checks her dentata just in case. Stepping into the portal, we are unexpectedly flung backwards in time to... ...Poohland? Poohland??? Kitty looks around frantically but doesn't see Tigger or Christopher Robin anywhere. Why is this world named Poohland? I can only think of one other reason why a world would be called that, and it ain't pretty. After a few minutes behind a dumpster, Spider Kitty begins searching Poohland, which looks a lot like Skyway. There are five EBs, collectively known as ???, from which I can only assume they're as confused as I am. They're pretty tough, but nothing can stand in the way of a fully incarnated Crab Spider. Except lawn sprinklers. Kitty hates those. 2) Again we're flung back in time to "Red City", which resembles Cap au Diable, but at least it doesn't smell as bad as the previous map. Five more ??? EBs, with no descriptions, and their only combat chat is "...". 3) Now we need to go to Kitty's timelime, which is "Tech Square" in 2010. Eleven EBs are waiting to be clobbered, with names like Ambrose Beepboop and Belle Beachball. The map is the instanced one with the SERAPH labs submap, making many of the mobs unaccessable unless the player knows enough to click on a particular door. 4) Time to enter Future Sonic's timeline for some reason. Kitty is sent to the Altas Park map and finds it occupied by twelve, yes, twelve EBs, at which point I threw down the mouse and closed the arc. Moonstar ULTIMATE: Part 5 is a time-waster of epic proportions. If you're a full-time basement dweller looking to while away the days until the next episode of Super Kawaii Ninja Schoolgirl Panty Raid, this arc is just what the doctor ordered. Everyone else, stay away.

With most everyone stuck at home for the foreseeable future, people are finding themselves with a lot of time on their hands. Now, granted, we're all hardcore MMO players, so quite a few of us have been practicing 'social distancing' long before it was cool, ensconced in our mommy's basement surrounded by a pile of Hot Pocket wrappers. Still, those of us who used to have lives are now sitting with CoH open on one screen, Windows Solitaire on another, and a long-abandoned copy of Atlas Shrugged half open on the end table (spoiler: it sucks). For those desperately looking for ways to kill more time, we have the latest installment in the MOONFIRE: ULTIMATE saga. 1) The contact is Sparkle Moonstar, who tells us that Ultraneon has enough people to attack THE ENTITY. We haven't been told exactly what THE ENTITY is, so I'm assuming it's really Aunty Entity, looking to solidify her hold on Bartertown. The player busts into a lab to find the location of the Lightspire, joined by Celeste and Sparkle Moonstar. We hack a computer, then defeat four elements, then the Guardian, a rather tough EB. The enemy mobs are a custom group, the Corrupted, with about eight or nine types and cool costumes. 2) We escort Sparkle to the center of the Lightspire, but there are baddies so we whomp them, then trek back to the mission exit. Oh no, Celeste was captured! 3) The player and Sparkle go rescue Celeste. Sparkle's bio describes her as having near-infinite power, making Spider-Kitty wonder why she's needed. Maybe she's there as an emotional support cat or something. Celeste was corrupted, so we smack her a bit until it wears off, then bring her to safety. Yup, you guessed it, we have to escort her all the way across the map to the exit. 4) Some Corrupted have followed us back to the home base, so we need to go whomp them. We join up with Ultraneon and Neon Jr. and YD Slasher and Xenon, and they all have friends too, resulting in a huge swarm of catgirls following the player. Although I couldn't see any tails, so maybe they're catgirls in spirit. For those of us who have just finished the last puzzle in the Big Book of Jumbo Crosswords our cousin sent us back in '03, MOONFIRE: ULTIMATE presents us with a great opportunity to kill time as we sit at home waiting for that 24-pack of paper towels to arrive from Amazon. Seriously, why is everyone so concerned about toilet paper when paper towels are in stock? They work just as well. Anyway, every mission in MOONSTAR: ULTIMATE will help you while the hours away: the first has a ton of objectives, the second and third make you walk back to the exit, and the fourth is a defeat all. By the time you're done, society will have finished collapsing, leaving you with no choice but to drive to Bartertown for toilet paper.

I tried the second arc today, and it went pretty much the same. The second mission contained a boss even though I had bosses set to off, who summoned multiple ambush waves, overwhelming my lvl 20 MM. The writing that I saw was top-notch, and I'm sure the rest of it is great too, but most low level characters will never see it.

Standard Operating Procedure 1) This arc opens in an interesting way, with the player having a dream about being on a rocky asteroid, and there's a dude named Willie Sullivan who appears hostile, but when you get closer he's friendly, and oh yeah Willie is also a chick. And then you wake up, but can't get her out of your head for months or something. Kinda like all the yiffers yiffing in Pocket D, whose bios tell you how you're enraptured by their ethereal beauty or something. 2) Now you're not dreaming, and Detective Frietag gives you a job. Or maybe you're still dreaming, you just woke up from one dream into another. Anyway, some dudes are breaking into an antique store in King's Row, so you head on down to make with the punching. The foes are guys who can't decide whether they're Hellions or Skulls. Maybe they wanted to join the Hellions because they can shoot fire, but then considered the Skulls because they shoot darkness. A tough choice. 3) Now we're headed into an office, where the "Skullions" are trying to steal a diamond. We rescue an African prince who needs our assistance in moving a large sum of money out of the country or something. The Skullions are a custom group with about a dozen members, with varied powersets, but no bios. Some of the names are a bit odd, like "Tactics-X" and "Darkfemme". Oh no, they stole the diamond! 4) Now we need to go into an office and plant a bug or something. More punching. For some reason we need to manually exit afterwards. 5) And finally the diamond is being put on a boat, so we go to the Port Oakes docks for more fistyness. A truck needs to be smashed, which triggered multiple ambush waves. We also need to "clear the decks"; I punched every mob on the boat, but the mission didn't end until I stood next to a decorative NPC. The story is continued in the next arc. This is a tough arc to rate. The writing is extremely well done, although the opening bit feels like it was written by someone in Pocket D roleplaying as a immortal demon vampire succubus from another dimension whose immeasurable beauty mesmerizes everyone in the room, bending them to her will. And also she has six boobs or something. There are a few spelling errors and missing descriptions, but the big problem here is the difficulty. Every map has wandering patrols who can arrive in the middle of a fight, and almost every objective triggers ambushes. The truck in particular appears to be set to send ambushes at 75%, 50% and 25% health, but it doesn't have many hitpoints, so after a few punches you will be knee deep in mobs. This is simply not a good idea for a map designed for levels 10-20. I tried it with a new lvl 10 MM and got flattened multiple times, then switched to a 50 stalker, and still had to eat a pile of insps. Standard Operating Procedure tells a very good story, but it really needs to be made more accessible to low levels.

After another week of 'arresting' Malta and Carnies and searching their pockets for loose change (loitering is a crime, right?), Kyksie finally decides enough is enough. Speaking to an old aquaintance in Port Oakes, she robs the bank in Atlas Park, then Kings Row, working her way through the city one bank at a time. After beating Overdrive for the third time at the Peregrine Island bank, she finds herself with enough cash for rent, bills, and a double helping of Freem Fries at Up-N-Away Burger. Still, being a full-time villain doesn't sit well with Kyksie, so after a quick shopping spree at Macy's (just the essentials, honest) she asks around if there are any heroic deeds that need heroing. 1) The contact is Elizabeth Bouchet, an agent for an anonymous client, who offers her a chance to save the world and get a substantial cash reward. Why didn't I hear about this last week? Oh well. She requires Kyksie to sign a contract before accepting, which is odd if the world really is at stake. We need to jump forward in time to get a crown or something. As always, the future is a broken hellscape, but instead of the usual biker gangs we find Coralax. In addition to the usual red and blue Coralax, there are pink and fushia and chartreuse varieties. Kyksie kicks a few and finds the coral crown. The popup stated that "ghost allies will help you find the crown", but I couldn't find any. 2) We need to 'borrow' a tome from the Legacy Chain. When we arrive there, the office is being attacked by Coralax, so more kicking. Oh no, someone got the tome already! And also Freakshow. 3) The Freakshow have formed a cult worshiping the ancient goddess Merulina. (which kinda rehashes the canon arc where we go after the Shaper). Off to the 'Freakshop', where we kick more Freaks and Coralax, including some custom Freaks like the "Bone Nurse" and "Juice Nurse" and "Hello Nurse". I think that's it. The sendoff said that there was a tough EB, but the leader was only a boss. 4) Off to a lake to smash some coral spires. Another custom group! 5) And now to save the world. Into the leviathan caves map, where we join up with Elizabeth and Barracuda, and pummel Calystix the Shaper. (minor bug: the nav bar for Barracuda said 'rescue Elizabeth'.) The sendoff warned me that Calystix was really hard, but I didn't have much trouble. Afterwards, we find that the mystery client was in fact Barracuda, who is working to find the truth about the coral. It does seem a bit odd that Barracuda had access to time travel, but maybe she bribed the Project DESTINY techs with some sushi or something. Save the Diver, Save the World is another great arc, with lots of excellent writing and just-right difficulty.

Interesting. Like I said in the review, normally I advise against using that map because it's confusing and the caves are hard to find. When I played it, however, there was a waypoint pointing me to the cave door.

Another month, another scramble to make rent. None of the Malta troops that Kyksie 'arrested' had any cash on them, so she calls up an old contact who tells her that Lt. Col. Flynn has some work all the way out in the Shadow Shard. 1) Arriving at Mole Point Charlie via portal, Flynn tells Kyksie that a new Hortha Vine had just opened up, so naturally he sent some troops through, but then it closed, so now he needs a brave hero to investigate. Fortunately they had a sort of dimensional GPS thingy, so Kyksie is able to track them to a cave. There she encounters the "Rularularian", a nicely done custom group. They all wear Nemesis unforms, but none have change in their pockets either. We rescue the captives, including Dr. Huxley. 2) We rescue more captives. The Rularutians can control Shadow Shard reflections, interesting. Sara Moore is investigating their history, but Kyksie taps her foot, eager to get paid. 3) The Rularutarians are attacking City Hall! Kyksie jumps in and defeats the invasion, led by "Angie the Mad". Yes, this is kinda of an odd name for a villain, like "Norbert the Terrible" or "Melvin the Flatulent", but we'll see why it fits, read on. 4) The scientists have discovered that the Rularutarians are the descendants of people from Paragon, who were stranded in the Shadow Shard when Hero One closed the dimensional portal. They have formed several independent city-states, and one is willing to sign a truce. Kyksie just wants to get her payment and go, but Flynn tell her to meet with their leader. This mission is set in the Shadow Shard map with the big factory thing in the center and caves along the sides. Normally I recommend against using this map because the caves are confusing and hard to see, but here we get an objective marker showing you the way. Plenty of non-required clues add atmosphere. 5) Most of the city-states have agreed to join with us, but their leader "the five" needs to be stopped. I won't spoil the plot twist here. We go into the Statesman map, get a bunch of allies, and defeat a bunch of guys like "William the Conqueror" and "Becky the Litterbug". See, they got those names because they come from normal people! We defeat the five, and the rest of the Rularutians decide to rejoin us. Everyone hugs, and Flynn authorizes payment plus a bonus. No secondhand tampons for Kyksie this month! Rularularian is another perfect arc, with top-notch writing, lots of atmosphere, and no time wasting. Everyone go play it.

I played through this a few months ago and intended to review it but it somehow got lost. Suffice it to say that this is a top-notch arc that hits all the right notes; excellent writing, an interesting custom group, no kill-alls, no tedious glowie hunts, no overpowered bosses. Everyone who enjoys a good story should play this.

The contact is Null the Gull, which scores points for originality if nothing else. He says that, in the 'real' world, the group Outkast was filming a video, when a portal appeared and sucked them into Paragon City. That's right, Null is explicitly speaking to the person sitting behind the keyboard surrounded by Hot Pocket sleeves and Cheeto wrappers. 1) Apparently when OutKast arrived here, the first person they encountered was Frostfire, and they own the rights to the name "OutKast", so... they're suing the Outcasts? Again, points added for originality. The player ventures into an office where Outcasts and PPD are fighting, clobbers Frostfire, rescues a lawyer and meets the guys. Oddly, the PPD are also hostile to the player. Here, a problem arises; the level range. the first two levels are capped at 15, but the last are at set to 50. I tried to run this with my controller, but she had no chance against boss-level Frostfire while reduced to 15, so I had to switch to my Stalker, Super Sneaky. He's really sneaky. 2) The Skulls are trying to murder OutKast for some reason, so we stop them by going to a rave and collecting seven boxes. While waiting for the map to load, I Googled OutKast and found out they're a "hip-hop" group, which I think means they spend their time drinking "forties" and having "diss battles" with other hip-hop groups. 3) Now things are getting even weirder... OutKast (which is two guys) both have the hots for Ms. Liberty, so they're trying to woo her by throwing a concert in Atlas Park. The player arrives at the 'Party in Atlas' map, which fits well here. We rescue the dudes, beat up Back Alley Brawler for some reason, then pummel two dudes named "Lovebox" and "Speakers Down Below", or something like that. We also rescue Ms. Liberty, which is a bit awkward because Super Sneaky and Ms. Liberty have, uh, history. 4) Now OutKast is shooting a video with Carnies, which the player has to stop. We rescue some guys, smash some equipment, and clobber Vanessa DeVore. 5) Lord Recluse found out about them and wants them for "bad intentions", so we need to send them back to our world. Sneaky sneaks off to the Portal Corp map, rescues the dudes, clobbers Scirocco, and activates the portal to send them back here. In a nice touch, the sendoff happens in the final room of the map (you know, the Shadow one for the Maria Jenkins arc) which has the big portal. Like the previous arc by this author, this is a hard map to rate. The premise is really wacky (in a good way), several unique maps are used creatively, and fans of OutKast should enjoy this, assuming they're not too busy smoking "blunts" and drinking "purple". On the downside, the level range is a problem. The arc contains several tough EBs who require a strong character to solo, probably a 50. However, the first two maps force you to level 15, which is a pain. Characters who have been respeced may be completely unable to function at that level. There's also some grammar errors, although not as many as the last arc. Still, assuming you like offbeat stuff and don't mind fourth wall breaking, give this a try.

Have I become the board's resident AE reviewer? I'd be glad to write a review for this, but maybe make a new thread for it. I should mention I can see a big problem right away... the level range. People will be reduced to 14 in the early missions and forced up to 50 in the last one. That tends to be not fun.

AE files are saved locally as a textfile, run it through a spell checker.

The first three missions are set to 20-54, but the last ones are 50-54. In order to see the aforementioned bosses, I set it to x4 and used Spider-Kitty again. "Meow," she said, slugging back a double Maker's Mark at the bar before heading off to the AE branch in Pocket D. (because, you know, she's a cat. cats meow a lot). 1) The contact, Mirror Spirit, tell me that Countess Crey has teamed up with Vanessa Devore to create animated toys powered by magic. It's a wacky premise, but it works well in a four color world. Spider-Kitty meows into a toy store and encounters the "Micronauts", who are human sized toys. There are at least a dozen, all with well written bios, although it gets weird in places. (the Night Widow toy is "perfect for feminists", huh???) The mission is a defeat all, but I'll forgive that because the map is small. Kitty finds sales receipts showing that sales have gone up 10%, oh no! 2) We need to stop the production, so Kitty busts into a warehouse and smashes some crates. Fifteen crates. We also get a story about how the Countess blackmails Manticore and sells his arrows or something. 3) The toys are powered by magic, so we need to get countermagic, which happen to be Animus Arcana. Also a bit about Black Scorpion. 4) Now we need to rescue the hostages who are being used to magically power the toys. There's ten of them, plus a clone of the player. "Meow", says Spider-Kitty as she puts down her feline counterpart. She's used to this by now. 5) Now to put an end to the foul scheme; Kitty meows onto a cargo ship, and clobbers Manticore, Scorpion, Vanessa and the Countess, and smashes fourteen crates. This is a tough arc to rate. The premise is a great one, and it's executed well; the custom group is well made, with copiously written bios, and the varied powers make for fun fights. On the downside, the arc suffers from Objective Overload. Fifteen crates, then six spells, then ten hostages, then fourteen crates. That's too much; it shifts focus away from the storytelling and into tedium. Like, if you're reading a fanfic starring Spider-Kitty, Mynx and Bobcat, and it goes "Mynx meowed, then Spider-Kitty said 'meow', then Bobcat rolled over lazily and meowed, then Mynx meowed again, then..." People don't want to get bogged down in that, they want to read about Mynx and Bobcat... uh... doing stuff. The biggest problem, however, is the spelling and grammar. It reads like a first draft that was never proofread. Seriously, there's at least one spelling error in every paragraph. Please, people give your stories at least one pass before submitting them for review. With half as many crates and a run through a spellchecker, When Two Worlds Work Together has the potential to be a winner.