A formal complaint against one "heavy RP" group that discriminates against Redsiders.

[Paragon Vanguard]

On 9/28/2022 at 10:48 AM, GM Impervium said:

EDIT: I MEANT to close this thread, but, guess i forgot to hit the button. Oops =/ Still, since everyone is being mature and polite -for the most part- I'll keep it open a bit longer.

Glad that you left it open. It's a good read for people, and has some sound advice and good points. In fact when I first read the OP, to me, it was something of an eye roller.....not saying toward op or guild...but people brought up great points and made me think of my own experiences of when I SHOULD HAVE vetted the group before joining (not on CoH). Thank you for your patience on this. 

[RunoKnows]

On 9/28/2022 at 9:05 PM, TwoDee said:

For what it's worth, I'm sorry for what you went through, OP, and I think the specific phrasing that you link in your post, assuming that it's a direct transcript, was out-of-line.

This highlights a very important part of the issue, IMO; if that is in fact a direct transcript of the supergroup's official response, you dodged a serious drama llama-themed bullet. If it isn't a direct transcript, then you might not mesh with the SG in question (or vice versa), which isn't the end of the world! There are a lot of RP supergroups out there and not every roleplayer is a good fit for a particular SG, and not every SG is a good fit for a particular roleplayer

[_Kai_]

Something to also keep in mind is once a trust is breached, something with the potential to breach it in the same way or, even just cause victims of it to be reminded of it is put under much harsher scrutiny that it was before that trust was broken.  From what was posted it seems like the SG is a very tight knit social group that also happens to play CoH, as such more akin to a group of friends.  They are offering an opportunity in recruitment to make more friends, but they don't need them so the onus is on the applicant to prove they are worth the time.  It no way should it ever be assumed that open recruitment  means that everyone gets some kind of fair standardized score that determines acceptance.  

 

If something about your past made someone there uncomfortable, they are well within their rights to just say 'no'. Much like a lot of things in the world, you don't get to chose if someone is offended, to you it was a minor thing you did years ago for such a little time it shouldn't matter, but to them it may represent being taken advantage of by someone presenting the same as you are, and would make them apprehensive anytime you are around.  Accept that there isn't anything you can do about their memories of something you were briefly associated with, and try again with other people.  None of us are perfect, but even if we admit our mistakes that may not be enough for someone else.

 

I mean, there are stories of people ending up with a character name that someone else had on Live and third parties being like 'you may not be the same player, but I just can't interact with that name, sorry' 🙂

[MistressOhm]

Just a small takeaway from the OP's description of what went down:

 

The supergroup in question had to deal with both IC and OOC flak from rival groups.  

 

This is a form of trauma.  They aren't trying to be unfair or elitist, they're literally gun-shy.   Their trust is damaged.

 

The OP knows exactly what was referred to, they admitted that the VG they were in (for a short time) become a bunch of jerk-hackers and they, too, pulled the ripcord on the whole thing.

 

The point I'm trying to make is, please, be respectful of other people's pain.  If a group has had a bad experience with Villain Group X, they're not going to be at all enthusiastic about admitting anyone who had anything to do with Villain Group X, be it long term or probationary.  They got burned, and they will flinch.  That's to be expected.

 

If someone brings up "Starfleet Dental", I have flashbacks of mass-griefing of holiday events in STO.  If someone told me they were part of that fleet? I'd question their motives and likely their parentage, also.  It is That Bad an association.  

 

That said, hopefully whatever group the OP ends up joining, or forming, perhaps at some point they can interact with the group in question and actually have a good time roleplaying.

[Kelri Irris]

I realize this thread was meant to be closed, but I kept thinking as I read it something along the lines of: Why would anyone want to make a group accept them? Why would anyone who gets rejected from a group want to make them allow them to be a member? 

 

I personally wouldn't want to be in a group that was forced to accept folks that they didn't want. To me, RP is a group project. I really don't see the group working together if they have to accept folks who know they would have been rejected otherwise. This would be a colossal red flag for me, and I'd run away as fast as I can. It seems like wanting to make the group that rejected you take you is...well, why would one want to be in that group at all?

[Greycat]

I've got to second the "They're dealing with trauma" idea, frankly.  They've been burned by those mentioned groups (which, BTW, isn't "redsiders" unless someone's named their group Redsiders,) and so they're gunshy when somone who was associated with them comes up to join. 

 

(Noting I have no idea who anyone involved is, and don't care.) 

 

If you want to show you're *not* the person they think you are, and you think it's worth approaching them again? Get to know the *individuals.* RP with them. Just play with them. OK, it probably won't be as part of SG night or an SG event. Respect that. But give it time to show you're not what burned them.  Don't do it as a goal or an ulterior motive. Just be a decent person and treat them decently, like you'd want to be treated. 

 

In the meantime? *shrug* Build your alt-SG base, stick your alts in it 'til they find their own homes. For the most part, I'm not in "groups," I'm in social circles and intercharacter relationships, with some of my alts grouped into similar origins or whatnot coalitioned (generally informally) with other groups. You can, after all, be friends, go out for coffee, game nights and movies without marrying into the family, so to speak. 

[Crystal Dragon]

On 9/28/2022 at 10:42 AM, Seed22 said:

Ok but how? This is RP not a job or literally anything that matters. 
 

These “Heavy RPSG” types have qualifications now? Isn’t that…you know, taking it WAY too seriously?

Depends on the group and the leadership. Some folks that have Heavy RPSG's tend to wish for a comfortable experience for everyone in the group, not just for themselves. Others tend to have a more close-knit experience, like my own does. I hold high standards for my group because I wish my members to feel safe, comfortable and not have to put up with people that aren't willing to work with the teams/leagues we work together in. I personally vet every member for this reason. As for the OP's experiences, I'm inclined to agree with some of the users posting here. Maybe the problem isn't the groups.