cranebump

The Jake Montoya Arc Continues! (aka Neverending hunnnnnt mishes!) Jake gets to work on the parts (privately...I assume) and is THIS close to solving the… BUT OH NO! PLOT TWIST! HIS LAB IS BEING ATTACKED! OFF I GO! (slowly…every so slowly). Once there: Erm…Crey, Jake? Or is there some sort of "Lab IKEA" somewhere? So, either scared sh*tless or his leg's caught in the door. I mean, c'mon, hapless Jack. This is basic "walking through doors," brutha. (DC0 and you failed?) So, it's a Defeat All. Try as I might, I just can't target all the people running through the halls, so I hope they don't count (I mean, I had ol' "leg-door" right in my sights, man). I've got you now! You better…okay, stop crying…c'mon now, you don't have to…oh, just go already! The Clock experience in the lab here is promoting a strange sense of Deja Vu: Which leads to: Damned Vahziclocks (I'm sticking with my story, man) Back in. We wallop a few, grenade a few, shoot a few (runlikehellaroundacornerwhentwoorangesshowup), and FINALLY: So, WHO we gonna give a "rough" time, hah? HAH? And we do. After which we strike a pose You know… This whole Kung Fu fisty thing really IS refreshing. (Snatch the pebble from MY hand, willya...) We knock this out and: I'M RICH! AGAIN! But, really, it's about this: It's all about the drooling adulation we accrue along the way.:-) Of course, this isn't the last of Jake's story. Seems all this did was give him a lead. A lead I will follow! Like a really dumb dog looking to...find and...eat cat litter, because...dogs do that! or something like that…

ANYtime. Well, after I finish with Jake's arc. He needs me....I think...

Yeah, I REALLY gotta watch my spelling there (cum? I'm think it was supposed to say, "son," "dude,' or "bronaisse." Corrected.:-)

Year 1, Day 7 and 13/16th's Tales from the Underground FCC After a "fiery" discussion with Veles (which we could not report due to all the sticky residue on our tongue from biting the concrete twice), we resume our batness, looking for work in Skyway, starting with Jake Montoya, who hangs out here: I know he LOOKS real, Jake, but really, this guy ain't gonna keep the Trolls away. No. Er…I mean…okay. Jake's worried about a Troll "test of strength" contest causing a rampage in, I'm assuming, Skyway City, Because, y'know…lotsa Trolls here. So where does he send me? Riiiiiiiight… And once in, is it close by? Noooooooooo. AND we get caves! YES! Always feels like I'm walking through the intestines of some very large creature. Turns out this is (once again) ALL ABOUT DRUGS (gasp). I beat some arse here and there, destroy some Dine (or Dyne, or Dianne). Know what I find out about Trolls, by the way? Don't turn your back! Not even for a second! Also: They don't float so well. AND They can also go full "ground hog" on you: After taking out the last gopher (er, Troll), I decide to use my handy dandy base TP to shorten the distance (or to just change the scenery of my lengthy jaunts. Speaking of, here's the base: No, seriously. That's it. I don't even know what half this sh*t does, man. I think that's an AC up there. By the way, I DID learn an honest-to-goodness useful power. Shimmy-Shimmy-Koko-Bop or some such. I'm not sure how it works, but I do this sort of Kung Fu thing and I feel refreshed. Personally, I think a small flask or maybe a little plastic water bottle spritzer would have the same effect, but they say I have to go full on "grasshopper." Wish I could show you the pose, but I empowered myself with invisibility (which means I'll probably get an escort mish next). But no! I get lucky! Story arc here I come! (was that too meta? I blame the invis). 15 Clocks comin up! I'll start with rooftops in KR. Hmmmm…do I? 'Fraid not. Have to stop these creatures from their infernal recycling efforts. LEAVE THE TRASH ALONE, GENTS! After saving the stack of wrecked cars from usefulness, I give Jake the brand new pile of crap metal made of Clocks. Jake uses the Power Source I took from 1 of them (or assembled from 15?) and sends me to an office. Thankfully, it's not to do taxes. Bit of the ol' Right Hand of Doom (er, "dusk" that is) Left hand of…lefthandedness (i.e. RAP POSE!) Followed by kicking Bolts in the nuts: Hi… Jake studies a broadcast unit I've recovered (not Howard Stern, as it turns out). But of course he needs more stuff to look at, which means I now get to go to the sewers (well...payback for sending @TerroirNoir into all those AE sewer mishes of late [I feel your pain, and I will ignore it).:-) After a bit of Clock bashing: What the f***? YOU guys? Well we know what that means: Ugh…toxic…we're breaking up, Vahz. Naturally, it's Defeat All, so no sidestepping. I clear out a BUNCH of Vahziies. Like, a bunch. Then, thankfully, we're done. After that really sucky experience, Jake tells me there's a connection between the Vahz broadcast thing and the Clock broadcast thing. While he's talking, I get jumped by our clackety friends. Do I take care of it? No. Why? Let the professionals handle it, I always say. After that, a jaunt to AP to refill the devices. This time, a hefty stash of stuns grenades, because, well, I enjoy living. Plus, Crane has to let the cat in, because he's not happy unless he's going in and out from the 3-season porch into the house (and back...and in...and back...and..MAKE UP YOUR MIND, BRO!)

Year 1, Day 6 and some change Face time with the Skulls So we start our day in the usual location: Well...at least the meals are always hot... My contacts, Wong and Caine (aka Right and Wrong), both want me to get broasted by toxicity. I am only too happy to oblige (hence, my downfall, 'cuz SC Vahz suuuuuuuuuck at my current "security level" [which is decidedly insecure]). This if not unexpected, because, as we all know: I head to the row, because I KNOW where to find Vahz there. That said: Hmmmm...something is definitely up, and I don't mean my Vahzilok friend who's just taken up hurdles. In short order, Wong and Wight (aka Caine) have nothing for me, so I FINALLY give into Shuana Stockwell's incessant nagging and take on some sort of Skulls thingy in The Row. Put down the can, citizen, before I kick you in the...um,..can... I warned you! Oh...hey, GOOD one, buddy. As a matter of fact, she...{ahem} NO, SHE DID NOT! So this thingy is NOT about unauthorized wall art, as I come to find. Purses, perhaps?...No? (sigh) Okay... Shakedown, breakdown, takedown? Everybody walks into the crowded light?... So, none of those. And by the way: This is just NEVER true. Evidently, it's all about bad dental plans. So I make my pitch for a new provider by refitting Toothbreaker Jones's teeth, only to find out it's all about DRUGS! (GASP). I head off after the dude, after a brief discussion with this guy: YOU'RE fiending? Lemme tell you about MY fiending. It's soo incredibly...um...fiendish. See? Now THAT's fiendish! Amirightorwhat? My appearance being unannounced, there are several vain attempts to identify my glorious personage: The fuzz? What is this, a 70s cop film?...oh...it IS a 70s cop film...okay... Go ahead, punk. Make my week... I was speaking figuratively, bro. Put away the piece, now. Put it...You're going to hit me with it? Skulls are dumb... Or maybe not: Ah. TWO guns. I'm doomed (pft). For a moment, this looks easy: One punch to my own face oughta do it. But, no. It's these guys: Figures. And here I am fighting with a bruise on my jaw. Bit of grenade action, and then off to bust up some initiation ceremony. I think it's a sorority, but it matters not. I'll join anyone who asks, because I'm needy. Then, again... Well, you talk REALLY loud, for one thing. As it turns out, beating up people gets you into the group!: Thank you, thank you. It's GREAT to be part of the local 917. GO PLUMBERS! The rest you know. I go to Anderson Construction, deconstruct my frat bro, Chernotoilet, and BOOM! Another security level! After a few hiccups, of course. And this really big belch, who forces me to use this guy: Merry freakin' XMAS! (don't kill me...again...) We take it in the face, but, in the end, Snow Beast is just too much for dark dude. I WIN (sorta...snow guy did most of the work). Victory in hand (or pocket maybe), I take a break to get sutured (not Sutures...we've had enough of him), Of course, I must kiss the Don's ring, but it's a pleasure. Sort of.. Your hand is cold, bro.

Or you could run in dumb mode, like this guy:

What? You're putting family and friends and good tidings and all that other bullsh*t above US?:-) I think it's safe to say everyone is good with whatever you intend to do, TN. Merrappy Hannakwanzamas and all that, as well.

Year 1, Day 5.47892039782 Old buddies get pummeled So Harry Wong (or Wang, or whatever is least appropriate) tells me I have to go take out Sutures! Even though I JUST took out Sutures. After determining this has nothing to do with any recent surgeries, I head in to find no one is bothering me. In fact, these guys think of me as a recruit! Um...is there any OTHER way to get in the gang? As there really, really isn't, I just pummel him, using my latest useless power! That's Jump Kick, muthaf****! Or a kick-jump. Or a...well just eat it, bro. Two boots to the head, and we've pleased Wang. Or Wong. Whatever tickles most. Then I get summoned to breakfast, because it's the most important meal of the day. Even if you eat it at noon.

Year 1, Day 5 and a half... A Bat-tastic Barrel of Danger It can be a lonely life in the big city. Especially if your name is: Ma...they're STILL makin' fun o' me....Because SCHNABEL, that's why! What the hell IS a Schnabel anyway? Since Wes is too busy with mom, he sends me to Karen Parker. Being the Karen that she is, she sends me to customer service for her, as in, I, too, have no missions for you, putz-o. So I hit up Tristan I have no wardrobe Caine, who wants me to save some surgeons from the Vahzilok: I'll do so, my man. THEN we're going to Target. Dropping in...like the DUSK! (so...sorta gradually getting there...as is my wont...or want...whatever, I'm COMIN'!). So, in we go, and first thing: See that? That's my health bar. After 1 fight. With 2 perps. That's right. TWO. Because Toxic=OWWWWWW! Hoo boy...this is gonna take some time, preparation and smarts. I'm doomed... So we manage to rescue one of the surgeons, and I get this: Oh, my...suddenly feeling a bit uncomfortable? Taking no chances now. FEEL MY TASER THINGY! What the...MISS? And MISS? I...WHY? WHYWHYWHY? We pummel them the ol' fashioned way, only to realize I do not have all my defensive toggles on. Why? Well, why not? It's serving us SO well (and I LIKE it when my health bar is anything other than green...evidently). Drop off organ hunting doc, only to find that other doc: ...is NOT adhering to the Hippocratic Oath, gdit! We knock this out, then proceed through the rest of Caine's mishes. Because today is the day we REALLY get a spanking (good...we've been naughty. The snowmen told us that). We stumble upon the very bad, no good, horrible, Pollutant Plot. Of course, this doesn't keep us from stopping by for a short D&D campaign: My God, Sneak Attack is OP...Back to Old School Essentials! So rescue 7 hapless peeps. We make our way in and notice that the Vahz are some sort of football team. Here they are engaged in a pregame prayer: Give us this day, our daily dead... You n' me both, lady. Seven hostages later, we've grown in power (i.e., levelled up). Tristan sends us deeper into the pollutant caper (once he's determined it has nothing to do with my delicate digestive system, combined with that burrito plate). I stop by Atlas to check in with my temp powers hookup (bc running out of grenades when you're not all that awesome is a bad thing, as I have found). Then we go to fold laundry...Or rather Crane does, because HE has some sort of life (if you can call it that).:-) Well, jigger my whammies (that's a saying, right?)-the towels need another half hour. So, I refill my Utility Belt (thank you tasers and such), and off I go! It's the most. Wonderful tiiiiiime of the yearrrrrr (Unless. You are that guyyyyyy getting muuuuggged [in the UR corner while douche bag meeee is skating byyyyyyy). Here, we find some old friends: I'm only trying to HELP you, sir. These Vahz are dangerous...And no, that's not a gun. Is NOT! Already the best date I been on in MONTHS! Ahhhh...an old standby... The death corner. We meet again. And I'm dumb as ever! See? Actually, that's kind of my standard health/stamina the whole mission with these guys. (Default stance=PANTPANT!) Bit o' this and that, and finally: Okay, I LOVE this mish. Because the barrels: Hurt me AND... ...heal them (I SO want these in AE):-) So Sutures turns out the be a rather...meaty (as in short and stout) Eid. I clear the room (after levelling again), and get 35 freakin merits! I'M RICH!

Then you have the follow-up "DO'H!," where people zone back in and race off, not knowing that the remainder of the ambush will come to you at the entry point (and that it *might* be a good idea to gather THERE). But...I have been that leader, "that guy," and that guy (the one who knows what he's doing). Hell, I've been that guy and still done "that guy" stuff (like auto targeting that extra CoT group, because what we really need right now is another mob at the door...yes...ALL the mobs...you're welcome...).:-)

The title of this thread sounds like the name of a very sketchy After School Special.

As far as gaining Inf solely through what you earn in mishes, then, yes, you really can't keep up at all (though I admit I haven't tried to get by in that manner since, well...sorta ever). So you have to get involved with the market some if you want to just chug along with DOs/SOs. In this case, it's pretty easy. As already mentioned, 500k from selling orange salvage. As for seed money, run the explore badges in AP (thus getting your LR transport), use the merits to buy converters, sell. You slip over to Galaxy Echo, rinse-repeat, you have over a mill before hitting the first mish. If you're a mission content first type of person, the in-game arcs will grant merits (in some cases, a nice chunk). You should be able to use these, plus selling salvage and drops, to easily run on DOs/DOs, pretty much all the way through.* Now, if you want to get into incarnate stuff, that's another story...:-) *Now that I think about it, this is exactly what my latest alt, Devil Bat, is doing (but that's because he's too dumb to figure out how to really profit from the market {or learn from his own mistakes...or learn from anything, really...he's not too bright...).

Hehehehehe...RESIST!

Great feedback, thank you. Here's some "behind the scenes" stuff on this: M1: M2: M3: M4: M5:

How in the world is Rebirth outpacing Homecoming?

Hmm...well, I guess I'd offer the how are they gonna learn the ropes if they never team? That said, I've been on teams where the Leader has explicitly said, Stay off the steps until we clear the sides! and had peeps just go right there. I'm not sure this means they're "not intelligent," but it sure ain't the smartest strategy.:-)

I feel like the honor of kicking Phipps around would be something I would do for free.:-)

NOTES: I'd say this is likely a work in progress, but it DOES seem to be pretty clean. Picking a decent map for the last mish was a bear. I wanted to use Baatzul Hell, but NPCs were annoying to get, and often got stuck in the scenery. The one I picked isn't as evocative, but it is unique, and seems to work. Break frees. Take some, if you're psi-defense deficient. Be sure to check clues (I'd have the box open and to the side, all the time [if you don't already]). Otherwise, you'll miss some story. Let me know about any issues. It all ran pretty well in tests.

This is something that has happened to me on a couple of occasions. I still don’t know the reason for it, but it just sort of went away the next time I logged in.

That is an arc I haven’t run yet so I can’t personally comment on the writing. I do wonder whether or not they took story pitches before choosing someone. It is one thing to execute your vision of the story you have in mind, and then quite another to have to fulfill preset requirements. Either way, I feel for them. I would find that zone difficult to write for.

Other than cool maps and foes, to me a good arc has memorable NPCs, some wit (clever and/or funny), and a (usually) a twist. Or perhaps just a signature moment. Bittersweet victory. Complicated villains/motivations. What checks some of these various boxes for me (in no particular proportion, and presented in no particular order): Flux (Flux the Outcast: Take Out Frostfire): Slidy, ice map and Yeah! Simple! finale does this for me. The lead up is a bit tedious. (And you can always get a team for it) Eagle Eye (The Lords of Death) Multiple contacts working together from different angles. The Infiltration mission. Taking on a family of vills; I never had mind for beeznees; FIRE! FIRE! And I get to knock the snot out of Back Alley Brawler (well, not ME, actually, but...still). Laura Lockhart (Collateral Damage): Dulce Et Decorum Est and all that. Treachery! Drama! And F*** YOU, LEON, YOU ETERNAL DOUCHE BAG! Johnny Sonata: We don't get to go into hell nearly enough. Bane Spider Ruben (Destiny Follows): Backstab your way to power (as it oughta be in the RI). Then, lead an army to kick the living shit out of Longbow. Keith Nance (Twisted Reflections): Watching yourself die for the cause, without actually having to die for the cause (but feeling like you died for the cause...see that circle there?) Crimson (the whole long, inglorious thing): Because it felt like the perfect capstone for my gritty scrapper 50, Acrobattle. Malta became his personal nemesis. Provost Marchand (All 3 Primal Arcs): I hate, hate, hate fighting Calvin Scott. Seems like he hands me my ass no matter what kind of toon I'm running. But I love this series of arcs. Good boss fights. Complicated motivations. Pyrrhic ending. Sense of failure in a win. Love it.

Well, we’re back. Because you CAN have too much of a shitty thing. What? You can’t break a 20? JOSH JONES RETURNS! And this time, he means WAR! (or fruitcake…both are absolutely good fer nuthin’) This installment, we have a true GEM for you: Well, well, well. We now have LBMA’s! Right up Josh’s considerably narrow alley! Let’s see what Marco wants. Part 1: Out of Warranty Mark sez he has bad mojo comin’ from a cellphone (isn’t that EVERY phone these days? I mean, look at my spam folder). We head to Cook’s Electronics, and find Goldbrickers bricking around. What do we do? Um, shoot them, of course? DESIGN NOTE: We get a nifty bit of summation with the Mish begin clue: This continues throughout the arc. Here's another exanmple: Nice add. Especially if you’re like me and you forget what you just did. I may steal this idea. (MAY? Who am I kidding, I steal everything.) Quick mish where we beat up Billmark (brother to Markbill, both of whom wear Billabong?). Looks like the brickies have plans to steal techies from shoppies. And such… Back to mark for M2: M2: Parts and Labor Off to gather more bits and giggles. We get a taste of a neat little custom here: Sucesptible to bullets? Good. We run into some Clocks, who give us some forbidding dialogue: Yeah, this can only be good… See? Things momentarily look good, and then… Yup…lowbie friendly my… Okay, so have to do better at pulling, I’d say. So these guys… Man, oh man, do they suuuuuuuck… I avoid getting retweeted and forge ahead. Well, DINE-O-MITE! Let’s see what ELSE JJ may say? Scavenging around for various parts, and we find Ugh…storm…and it’s paired with electricity. Go figure.:-) We get the job done. JJ rants about her stuff, and how she repurposed the custom clocks. After she realizes I’m NOT with Crey (and here to steal her stuff), she calms down. (Can you blame her? I mean, I LOOK so high tech.) M3: Secondhand Store Mark gets more “ghost” vibes from the phones in JJ’s collection. So, this means we simply MUST go to a cave (because everyone loves caves, natch).Marco assures me he wouldn’t send me there if he dint have to. I do not believe him, of course. This changes nothing, but I feel all tough and edgy when I intentionally doubt good people (bc that’s what Edgelords do - that and destroy perfectly nice DnD campaigns). Mark DOES say he’s getting some bank vibes and Bricker mojo off what we have, though, so some nice furniture and people running around screaming MAY be in my future (hmmm..sounds like home…on Thanksgiving...with all those damned kids running around…[what, are they immune to the turkey-fu-sleep thing?]). So, even though it IS caves: It’s the GOOD kind. With LOTS of fascists! As we beat his ass, Targus releases bad gas! (Er, like from canisters and such. Aimed at the city. I mean, maybe he did the other, but we’re past that now, ‘cuz hero time.) Okay, good, it IS that kind of gas. Phew… While commenting on the use of gas as an old Nemesis standby, the guard gives me some props! Um, I’d prefer to stay OFF Nem’s radar for a little while, bro. Along the way: Know what they say about shooting fish in a barrel? It’s true, man. I am more harrowing than sleeping in a gas mask! Good to know… I have a bit of running around to find crates, but they’re right next to each other. And DONE! Some questions remain about JJ and how she got into that place and rooted around without being, you know, shot to death, but we’ll table that for the moment. The good news: the city is saved from GAS! (and not just Archon "Fartgus's"). M4: Factory Direct Turns out JJ had a cloaking device. And assumed I had one, because DOESN’T EVERYONE? (note to self: get with Hero Corps about frequent rewards program). Back at it with the Brickers. JJ has provided me with some backup: Try to remember whose side you're on, okay, kemosabe? So, as we gather more tech for Marco: Amen! Sorry I can’t let you off though, pard. DESIGN NOTE: I did not know you could color code the objectives. The designer is using light blue to signify the optional ones. Neat! I may adopt that sometime. Or just stay jealous about it. Whichever's easier.:-) NOTE: Reference to Watergate and Nixon and the end of mish=+1,000 from this geezer. M5: No Refunds, no Exchanges And, I would add, No Retreat, No Surrender (because I’m a soldier in the night with a vow to defend).:-) So, this looks like a timer, because of this: If so, nice to have a warning (I never use them, personally…warnings that is. Timers? That’s another story.):-) Sure enough, 15 minutes. And a Defeat All. But it’s a small bank map, so it’s doable, and I do. Even took on an ambush just after taking out the boss. Yeah, yeah - if it wasn’t for you meddling kids and your stupid…gun… So, we stop the Brickers from getting a shit ton of money, and we keep JJ out of trouble. All in all, we’re a big, damned hero. So, THE REVIEW: GOOD STUFF: Mechanically perfect. Spawns, objectives, map choices - everything was navigable without any glitches (except JJ followed me everywhere the first time we met (after saying she was staying put), but that’s an AE thing, not the designer. Sold story. Great contact dialogue and character presentation. Mark Freeman feels "real." Solid mix of stock bad guys and a some customs. Innovative use of Mish Begin clue as shorthand for objectives and keeping track of ongoing investigation. Whiz bang finale. TWEAKS: Not one damned thing I would change. VERDICT: 6 out of 5. What more can I say? This is a grade-A, well done arc, from top to bottom (and sideways, too). Pretty much perfect. Well, well, WELL done. PLAY IF: You want to take your lowbie on a solid, well-designed, well-scripted, beautifully constructed arc. DON’T PLAY IF: You’re some sort of douche bag, because only a douche bag wouldn’t like this (because they’re douche bags).:-) A+, @Zasani. And thanks! Happy Hanukwnazamas all, Crane

Year 1, Day 4: Say BAT! to Drugs Off to End the drug war, or some such. Being a lowbie I spent a lot of time doing this: as well as this: and a bit of this: Protecting those artifacts gets me to L9. After a bit of buffing at the ol' base, I head out to check on another skull shindiggery, and cull some lost (some of whom have fallen and they can't get up {yes...a TRUE hero takes out the Skulls beating them up so the hero can finish the job]). And here's the windup... ..and there's the pitch! So, we rattle Bone Rattler's bones, get some clues about 'dine (or dyne, or Dianne...who knows?) and report back in. Lead on another big ol' lab. As we make our way there: Hmmm..what is the Fam doing in the Row. Better pass this along to Blue Steel...so he can have me come back and do his job (sigh). This calls for prudence...I don't have prudence..I don't even have prunes. I DO have a lot of grenades and plasmatic tasers, though,, and a gun that doesn't work... Nevertheless, we clean up that small mess, and get sent to Steel. Along the way: That's 6 naughties in a row. I am evidently doing something VERY wrong. After 2 more bouts of being naughty, I snag a Candy Cane refresher (ahhhh...sooo sugary). Willie Zucco has me going back to Peraz Park. Good memories...the ground tasted so sweet when those Thorns faceplanted back in the day (yes, 3 days ago was it?...ah, childhood). By the way, when you have to hoof it: You get this sort of thing... Once I get there, one of my objectives is...puzzling... I feel this guy could be my ally? There's a reason the Skulls have problems with success: Set the bomb, then stand next to it. Good job, guys...Why am I saving you from yourself? I really do not know. No, man, I am NOT helping you up. Oh, but I can...for I am...the DUSK...erm...yeah... And so, with that, DB reaches L10. Do I select a power that makes sense? I do not. I decide I need to jump higher, farther, faster (but not too much, so Combat Jumping). Meanwhile, got things to do for Willie Z and possibly Wes S (Wesses?). POSTSCRIPT: Wilson Zucco (I guess I offended him by calling talking about his Willie...or lack thereof...the nickname, you see...right) sends me hither, but mostly yon. Thankfully, he gives me Hugo Redding's location (not digits, because we never call each other without at least one play date at a neutral site). Mish 1 sends me SPELUNKING! (BADGE! DINGDINGDINGDING!). I then bow to convention and visit the Winter Wonderland (because candy canes are tasty). I rescue a surprisingly swift and loquacious toddler from a really huge garden gnome. Hugo rewards me when I return by sending me on hunt mishes, because he can do that (so he does, the douche). All good, though. I reach L12, and FINALLY take a normal power (passive ranged defense - I've been getting my ass shot off - a LOT). Rest assured, however - I will NOT be doing anything that smart again for awhile!...maybe...who can say? (not me). NEXT RUN: Friday, 16 DEC 22 - Year 1 CONTINUES (like a Mu'! [not mu, like "moo," but like a "muh," which is what I keep getting called by Paragon City's drivers. Hey - that middle stripe is there for SOMETHIN'!).

Year 1, day 3 Hard Knocks in the Land of Skimpy DB gets sent on 2 hunt mishes, starting with Skulz. I get the bright idea of luring one of them into a squad of supposed friends: Help...Um, hey, uh...HELP!...I said...HEY! Would you stop looking at my costume? I get slapped around by Skulls but knock out 10. Then my new buddy Paula Dempsey sends me to get 10 Clockwork. After getting my own clock cleaned a couple times (once in mid flight running away {AAAAAAAAH! **KRUNCH**), I run over to talk to Vic Johans…Joyon…Yo, Johnson! to get a new mish. She sends me to find missing homeless people. Like I’m gonna somehow know where they are! (um…I do, actually). Rescue, then off to Perez to take out Skulls and their ‘Dine. After which I have a little hunt for Thorns (10 of ‘em), and end the day at L8. I AM INVINCIBLE! Power Notes and stuff: Since DB is obviously not meant to be optimized, I'm asking for it. I pick up Infiltration and top it off with the Ninja Stealth power (called BunchasyllablesIforgot). After that? Dunno. I'm thinking experimentation for the dart and the vial, 'cuz that would be nice and lame. NOTE TO SELF: Buy more stun grenades. Mainly for yourself, so you can forget your failures.

Year 1, Day 2: Looking Out for a Hero (or, if you can't find one, me) Devil Bat stands next to a shiny thing and gets the Monitor Duty Badges! HURRAY! My base (that is only for me) suffered no encroachment during my short, but (non) violent tenure. OFF TO BATNESS! So, Rich Davies sez I must clear the whorehouse of Clockwork! What's that?...ah...the WAREhouse...okay...slight difference there, but...okay... And I dunno who THIS guy is: ...but I take exception. Hard, firm, sturdy exception. (D.A.T.A. dork. You can't feel without your emotion chip, anyway, so...oh...not that guy...okey doke...ONWARD!) FREE THE WHORES!...er, I mean TAKE THAT! Reading...my eternal nemesis... Dayam! There were white boards EVERYWHERE. all with weird scribblings in some esoteric language, all amounting to jack (reminds me of most faculty meetings I've attended...that was me. Crane. Devil Bat doesn't have his teaching license. Yet...probably never, because, well, the night life...). So, DB defeats a "boss" (yellow and everything!), gets to level 3, then calls up Rick Davies again. I have one number in my phone, and his is it (sorry mom...I can't multitask). I go to the square to level up. It's a typically busy evening in Torchbearer, as you can see here: I'm the only guy here, but Rick insists I report directly to him (I guess to prove I really do exist, and really did show up to get the other 2 missions I did for him [poor Rick...hashish]. I head inside and... WHOA! There's someone else here! I think I'll just...sorta walk on by...yep... Rick's decided maybe I AM a hallucination, so he sends me to the Security Chief (who is evidently feeling insecure-ACTIVATE HUGS!). Now that I have a little $$ from selling stuff (I said I could do that, remember? well, I'm saying so now). And LO AND BEHOLD- ANOTHER HERO! Starting to think there's a reason there aren't many folks here... Security Chief eschews my hugs. He'd rather I beat up 5 Hellions. I dutifully do so (while being introduced to sledgehammers in a manner not prescribed on the box). Thanks to getting my face rearranged, Rick allows me to call! He's got a line on a REALLY FEARSOME BOSS. And what is that boss's name pray tell?: Yeah...okay, well...okay... In addition to fidgeting with Widget, I also have to discover the cause of the Clockwork disturbance. Within short order, Widgie is in a ditchie, and I discover the sinister secret behind the Clocks activities: Damn you, Radio Shack. Goddamn you all to hell... Level up to 4, then ravel out the rest of Rick's stuff (Cull Clocks? Why not? Time has no meaning for me, anyway). Patrol to L5, since Rick is out of mishes (and, I guess, hashish). Quick base visit to empower for an hour, and then I'm off to...where? I'm thinking the dark, dingy, disgusting beautiful King's Row. Well, that worked out, because Rick sent me to Paula Dempsey (sorry I ignored you, Rick...telemarketers, right?). Clockwork plot continues. This time, I get to take on Drillpress. I feel this could go really well! (or not). Since he's 10 gillion (aka .5) miles away, I jet pack it. Everything below is Red. Like the blood that will emerge from every orifice of mine if I land (some of my blood is evidently purple, as well). Eventually, we break up a Skulls/Clock convention, and end our second day at L6. Beating the crap out of these guys grants us the Negotiator badge (bc of course it does).