You might be a tank if...

[Golden Ace]

Ran across this today on an old hard drive.  Back on May 15, 2005 I made a copy of this thread on the old forums.  some of these are out of date, but many are still as true today as they were 15 years ago. 

 

You might be a tank if...

• You've ever been hip deep in minions, and told Your group to take their time on the way back from leveling.  
• It’s ever occurred to You to let a toggle drop to give the villains a fighting chance.
• You can look up at something 20 times Your size and say "Tell yeah what, I'll give You the first shot, just to make it fair."
• You have ever gone AFK while surrounded to get a soda, and came back with the same health and more end then You left with, which was part of the plan.
• When Your health bar turns yellow, You think, "Hmmm… I might need a respite in a few minutes."
• You find Your conversations with the rest of Your group to be interrupted by periodic taunts.
• You find those same conversations to be particularly one sided.
• When, upon seeing a room full of deep purples, You tell Your team: "I got this. You guys go the other way."
• You tell Your team to stand back I'll get that group and that group and that group...
• When You zone into the Hive Devouring Earth’s put up signs that say, "Keep Off the Grass, Please?"
• You take it real personal When something gets past You and flattens a squishy.
• You tend to attack first and THEN look to see what color the bad guys are
• Half way through a big battle You say, "Oh, hey, here's the Arch Villain.
• You sidekick to a higher-level player, not because You couldn't take the damage, but because You were having trouble keeping them focused on You instead of Your teammates.
• You’re facing five +4 bosses after the rest of Your team wipes, and You say "Don't teleport me back to the entrance, I'm fine, just come back When you're ready"
• You wonder why Your teammate keeps knocking bad guys away from You instead of toward you
• You invite a full team of 7 other players with Your difficulty slider cranked to "Invincible", all of them lower level than you, to "make it more challenging"
• You ask the healer to stop healing You because You don't need it and it's a waste of endurance; blast the bad guys instead.
• You tell the bubbler "I'm good, man, use Your endurance for blasting instead of bubbling me"
• You look up from beating down a bad guy to realize the reason that one guy isn't down yet is because he's a +5 or higher and Your attacks weren't touching him. And You didn't notice him until he was the last one left.
• You don't understand why other people don't use line-of-sight to try to pack the bad guys closer to you
• You see a prison in real life and have an urge to Super Jump over the barbed wire fence to defeat some prisoners.
• You wonder why the bad guys just stand around in these office buildings, and then You around look at Your cube farm and realize why.
• You can finish an 8 mish story arc before Your blaster buddy can do 2 missions ...both of You solo
• You wish there was a higher setting than Invincible. (More bosses and lots more mobs.)
• The first words out of Your mouth When entering an Arch Villain room is… The big guy's mine…
• You consider every other AT a support AT.
• Other party members are Your children, and You get mad if someone hurts Your kids
• You don't know where the hospital is, let alone what it's for.
• You don't worry about lag killing you, no matter how many mobs you're fighting.
• Your battle cry is "Awwww come on...You hit like a GIRL!"
• You like the pretty fungi colors so much You leave them till last.
• You leave the portals standing so You can get more mobs to fight.
• You’ve got mobs packed so tight the only way out is up.
• You think of scrappers as squishies.
• You start feeling sorry for the mobs.
• You pull and three rooms are cleared.
• You walk into a place and You have the most magnetic personality in the room.
• You listen to Your team leader’s plan and You think to Yourself "Well, at least I won't die."
• You don't care if there IS a boss in the mission, or even 2 or 3 and furthermore You don't give a damn HOW many hit points they have.
• You feel safe everywhere. Slightly uneasy is about as bad as it gets.
• Purple is Your new favorite color.
• The last boss that gave You any real fight was.... hmmm
• Team invites are worse than the pop-ups for that x-10 web cam!
• You own every bad guy that crosses Your path
• You can't understand why anyone would want to play any other AT
• You send in a bug report because You died
• You team with a defender and both of You have time to catch up on old times during a battle.
• You get the final damage taken badge before the first debt badge.
• All the squishies wonder how You have the time for all those snapshots in the middle of combat
• You’ve been told by numerous people that You can’t solo Hami, and You think to Yourself “yeah sure”
• You look at a Hami... then Your empath defender friend and say "hold ma beer and watch this".... then proceed to tank Hami (with a lot of empath loving)
• You think tanking Hami is for tanks, not scrappers
• You try to tank Hami without a healer
• You watch The movie trailer for The Fantastic Four and near the end You think "OMG!!! The Thing has Unyielding Stance!!!"
• You've found Yourself standing among the unconscious members of Your team and many many foes.
• You sometimes don't notice that You have been ambushed
• You go AFK mid combat When soloing.
• You are envious of Nova because the pile of 30+ mobs You finally gathered together gets wiped out in one shot.
• You'd trade you're entire secondary power set for the Nemesis Staff... “You mean it's a Ranged AoE Taunt that does 3 times the damage of most of my low-level attacks?!?" (Sigh no longer, Thanks States)
• When You get the Nemesis staff and realize that You can gain 5 levels soloing in the next 5 days. (Sigh no longer again)
• If You think of the Nemesis staff as taunt with a kick. (Thanks States this was obviously much to powerful for me to have)
• At Level 35 You seek Paragon Protectors +4/+5 to You to "Get Revenge" for what they did to Your Level 42 Blaster.
• When the blaster wants to pull and You just look puzzled at the concept. “You want less enemies!?!"
• You get a mission to Kill X of an enemy and go "ooh! an excuse to go to a Hazard Zone!"
• You spend 10 minutes in a zone looking for the "Perfect" group to kill.
• Your teammates have to remind You that you've finished the kill task, You can stop harassing the poor enemies now
• You feel that AV's need to be tougher.
• You actually get angry if someone on Your team "Gets hit once."
• When someone types "Boss" and You ask, "What's Your point?"
• You discover you're taking damage in a fight and consider it a piquant change of pace.
• You set Your mission difficulty to Invincible and don't notice a difference
• You are NOT a strong advocate of the "turn the other cheek" philosophy
• You like to take strolls through Eden just because You enjoy the scenery
• You like to jog through the streets of Perez just so You can live out Your dream of leading in a marathon
• You told a trigger-happy blaster, "I told You so", as he steals aggro from an AV and discovers the true meaning of 'squishy'
• You yawn, as someone else’s 'Council Ambush' (+5 to Your group) decides to pick on You instead.
• Your group is in awe that You single-handedly took out the previously mentioned Council.
• The leader of the group the ambush was meant for comes over to thank You for saving his group's hide.
• Your best friend (a blaster) teams with You for the first time and starts yelling (capital chat letters)..." You NEED NERFED!!!!!"… and he is serious…
• Your idea of pulling is walking up to they guys Your team doesn't want to fight, and leaving the other guy for them.
• Your selective hearing omits any sentences containing the words: Hold, Wait, Pull, Rest, & Run
• You make documentaries on the habits of Rikti Monkeys in Your spare time.
• (In best Aussie Accent) OOOOoooo now lookie what we 'ave here! Why it's a Rikti Monkey and 'e's a beaut! Now usually ya don’t see these lads off by themselves usually ya see them with a couple of Lads wielding a Laser Rifl-" Skreeeeeee
• "Ouch now that's gonna 'urt a bit as You can see the Laser has shorn me arm clean off! But luckily the wound has been cauterized and I wont bleed to death."
• You see a big group of whites and yellows, and think, "ohh good I was running low on inspirations"
• You still have the Halloween candy rez.
• You read bios of the various AV’s while fighting them and then proceed to talk to Your group about it.... But the group never responds back.
• You can't remember what a green or blue minion represents level wise.
• You have ever ran from the hospital to whatever #$%^$@!!!! Villain that actually got you, cursing the whole way, herding the entire board along the way (unknowingly), run in the mission, herd the hallways You didn't take before (unknowingly again), stomp the $%#$%# out of the villain, then turn around and wonder where all these minions came from.
• You find that level 50 is boring, no purples to fight
• You use total focus just to scare the defender
• The only reason the defender is there is for You to help him get his 3rd tier healing badge
• Its 3:00 AM You fall asleep fighting Seige (on Invincible) and wake up 3 hrs later to find You haven’t died yet, let alone hp movement.
• Upon jumping into a new mob of enemies and discovering that 3 of them are Paragon Protectors, Your first thought is not "oh crap I'm dead" but rather "oh crap this is going to take forever."
• You have to go AFK during a TF, so You set Yourself to follow the scrapper, set taunt on auto, and tell him not to get himself killed. And he does.
• All enemies below monster / Arch Villain scream in terror and despawn When You get within 100 yards from them.
• When You are surrounded by enemies and You see the Rest icon on someone at the team's buffs list
• You never realized that WarHulks actually cause damage When they explode.
• You see a villain do a critical hit on You and think, "aww, isn't that cute!"
• You're surrounded by oranges and reds and You look at Your health bar hoping it would move...
• You suggest to the group to just teleport You into mobs to hold aggro because You have to go for a long while.
• You're fighting an AV and 2 of Your buddies suddenly die. And then Your dead buddies have to explain that yes, this particular AV does in fact have a large AoE that you've never noticed.
• Your buddies find out the hard way that using Nova on a herd of Nemesis Jaegers isn't as safe as You make it look.
• You didn’t know that Jaegers explode and do fire smashing damage When they die
• You have to keep explaining to teammates not to stand so close to You When in fighting AoE's because they actually think its safer to fight right beside You than to blast from range.
• You respond to every AV mission tell with "Sure!"
• You think that for being the Leader of the Praetorian, Tyrant is a wussy lil [Censored].
• You wonder why people keep doubting You When You say You can do it, When they just SAW You tank those +6 monster's yesterday.
• You reach 50 then start a scrapper and find they are too squishy for Your liking.
• The only reason You know that his Nova did go off is that You notice a sudden abundance of black bars in the team HUD?
• You are helping out some lower level Supergroup members and are amazed at how much damage You actually can do When fighting blue/white mobs. Instead of Your severely reduced damage for all the +5/+6 mobs You have normally been fighting.
• Your team runs off without You cuz Your stuck under 100 wolves corpses...
• Your level 50 and a level 3 wants You to SK him and go to PI…
• In the middle of a fight, You realize that You have forgot to have Your inspiration tray visible and only noticed because the screen looked "funny".
• You taunt and wonder why You can’t keep aggro on +10s
• You get the unveiler Badge at level 32 without help
• See a big multi-level room full of Nemesis and You rush in to fight them all...as Your teammates say wait...
• 1,000,000 to 1 odds against You is not a problem
• You look up at a boss that is running away from you, and want to yell, "You're 3 feet and 3 levels bigger than me, GET BACK HERE You CHICKEN!!!"
• The only time You really notice You "might" need an SK is When You see Your health bar move
• You get kicked from a team fighting +8's because You refused an SK, and are therefore leeching, because there's 'no way' You could tank those guys
• You're in a Nemesis mish, happily herding the +2 Fake Nems and get them to the herd point. You start taking them down and wonder, "I just let loose with my Buildup - Energy Transfer- Bone Smasher - Total Focus attack chain. Why didn't his health bar move?" Then You look at the name: Nemesis Rex. You then think, "Hmm… A +2 AV. That would explain it. Let's rock!"
• You Solo the above mish kill everything but Nemesis Rex, spend 15 min on him, and while he can’t hurt you, You can’t hurt him either. So You run around clicking Blinkies and just ignore the AV the whole time while he is pounding on you.
• You tell Your empath healer not to put Fort on You so You can take more damage to get the damage badge
• When You hit 40 and want to go to Monkey Island, but a higher level Character tells You they are 49-50, and You reply.... So?
• You solo so much that You don’t even no what a team is
• The very first macro You set is /stuck
• Your teammate says "BRB" and You move on to the next room...
• You remember as a blaster a “blue” solo Paragon Protector used to face plant You every time, and wonder why.
• You’re on a Task Force and the leader disconnects, You are now the team leader. Suddenly all the groups become +2’s & +3’s and the squishies want to reset the mish.
• You wish the difficulty settings had higher settings only accessible for Tanks.
• You look for low levels to invite to Your team so You can spawn larger mobs.
• You've tried playing Scrappers and can't quite get the hang of them, because 'they're kinda squishy'
• You discover from experience exactly what the 'purple patch' is and what it does, several times, and just find it annoying.
• You see 2 +3 Paragon Protectors & smile, & then remember Your squishy used to run from solo -2 Paragon Protectors.
• You can walk away with an entire mob wailing on You and not blink an eye. In fact this is Your favorite way to get Your laundry done.
• Your idea of pulling involves several groups of enemies.
• Only the mobs outside of melee range are of any concern. The ones in melee are right where You want them.
• You've played through to the late game and have no idea what mobs are the mezzers.
• You tell blasters that pull too much aggro to come to you.
• You think that "knockback" is a word You should never mention in polite company
• People keep saying they need to scout, which is exactly what you're doing... and pulling all of the TF mobs with You as You go.
• You feel really disappointed When you’re only ambushed by 2 oranges.
• Your idea of amusement is running through Eden, Perez, the Hollows, PI, (or any zone that would make You happy), taunting everything to see how big of a mob You can get. (Guilty)
• Someone tries to grief You by training a herd of +6 mobs onto You and You turn and say "Thanks! I was looking for something to do!"
• You are jumping through Creys Folly with Your blaster friend at level 38. He screams "SNIPER!"" and You proceed to run up to said level 40 Crey Sharpshooter and say "Aww how cute! Can I keep it?" While he's ineffectively shooting You in the face.
• Your SUPERGROUP asks what level You are (38) and THEN asks You to tank 45/46 Praetorians.
• You are in a group mission, about to attacks a large group of enemies, and a teammates says, 'Take out the mezzers first!', and You reply 'Which ones are the mezzers??'
• You have to keep reminding Your teammates to stop killing the enemies You have gathered directly around You and concentrate on the Boss/AV instead.
• You take a Glowie mission and just walk through it looking for the glowies, not paying any attention to the enemies following you, shooting you, and punching you…click on the glowies, and then exit the mission.
• You HATE Master Illusionists.
• You can give a detailed description of what the Hydra looks like, from Your prolonged up-close personal relationship with him/her/it.
• You see a Kaken and the first thought that pops into Your head is 'Yes!!'
• You’re soloing and not looking for a team but You still get 2 tells an hour asking You to join a team.
• You wonder why Your health has suddenly started to move down some, while fighting a large group of enemies, until You realize that there is an AV in the mix that You never noticed.
• Upon accepting an invite to a pick-up group, the first words from the previously all-squishy team are: Yay!! Hooray! Now we can finish this mission!!
• Your mentor gets out of range and You keep on fighting like nothing's wrong.
• You charge into the biggest group of bad guys You can find: "cause it's safer there"
• You're standing in the street talking to Your friend and they say, "Did You know there's a sniper shooting you?"
• You jump off the tallest building You can find in Steel Canyon just to see if You can actually get hurt.
• The only thing harder than You is Iron Vixen's backside! Lol
• You are surrounded by 40+ Nemesis that are +5 levels on you, the rest of the party is hurting or down from being too close to AoE’s and You tell them ... "Just go to the Hospital, I will take care of it while You are gone."
• You have many groups of Tankers at the shores of Monster Island (ranging from 35 to 50). And they all in unison look toward all the Level 50 DE Giant Monsters, crack their knuckles and say ... "We can take them"
• When an Arch-Villain runs away from YOU!!
• When the Squishies look around the corner to see 20 or more mobs and say "OH $#!+" and You think, "only 20, where's the challenge in that."
• You say "Run" and nobody thinks You mean it.
• You get mad because one of the minions surrounding You has interrupted Your emote dance.
• You're the only one yapping away in the middle of a heated battle.
• You've ever spent hours on the CoH forums, without ever posting a flame or snipe another poster, and/or posted actual good info helping a fellow player…
• You get half way through a fight without the correct toggles on.
• You have to be reminded that You are vulnerable while You are Exemplaring.
• Squishies complain that You are nuts, then ask You if You want to do it again.
• You know every damage type in the game, and what uses it.
• You want another 3 difficulty levels above Invincible for a real experience, but Invincible for quick XP.
• You pay low level character to be on Your team so You can spawn Your invincible missions with more mobs, then solo em.
• When You say "Run!" you're not really including Yourself.
• You do emotes in the middle of a swarm of villains, cause You CAN.
• You know every damage type in the game, and what uses it… but You don't really care most of the time.
• You've ever hummed the Jaws theme before attacking the octopus at IP
• You've ever stopped in the middle of battle and tried to give the NPC's advice
• The only word You say in an entire day of teaming is "Ready!"
• No matter what level ambush is broadcast, You head right toward it
• The first thing You do When answering a help request in the forum is pull out a calculator or spreadsheet.
• You get disappointed When the group wants to "pull".
• When You see purples You see experience, not danger.
• You have to be told we don't have a healer.
• You were ever in combat, and went AFK for something, forgot You were still in battle and took a trip to the store, came back and were still there getting beat on.
• You ever said "AFK- bio break" as the team was going up the elevator, only to return to find a partial team wipeout at Your feet, the survivors downstairs, and a mob of enemies flailing away at You standing there in the elevator lobby.
• Your teammates look into a room, proclaim, "Oh man, we're so screwed," and Your only response is a very confused, "Huh? Why is that?"
• Your blaster stands way behind You and snipes while You have Invincibility running just because You think it's funny to make villains turn around in mid-stride.
• You wonder if Dull Pain is worth taking at L30 now that You have both Health and Stamina. You also wonder about which power to take next at L28.
• You have a few hundred wolves running after you, and someone yells Help!! A wolf came up on the rock! Come kill him! You look back over Your shoulder at the hundreds of wolves, and wonder if they would follow You up and still keep aggro on you...and ask the others if they'd consider an experiment....
• While engaging the first group of mobs during a hunt x mission, Your ambush shows up and You didn't notice.
• You spend 20 minutes pulling together a team to take out an AV, WHILE she is hitting You
• After beating down a Freakshow Tank, You stand over their unconscious body yelling out "Get up You worthless piece of metal, come on prove to me You are a real tank and get back up and take Your beating again!!"
• When an AV is a few levels higher than You and You can't hurt them, but they can't hurt You either.
• You refer to minion aggro as Your "ablative meat shield"
• You've tried to determine the longest period You could /em newspaper while in combat.
• After fighting a challenging mob and suddenly looking around and discovering that you’re the only one standing.
• Tell everyone to let You open all the doors...............just in case.
• The bubbler goes AFK and You don’t even notice
• 5 embalmed blow up on the positron TF and You are the only one left standing
• You team with a dedicated empath healer and another tank then the empath quits the team and claims that he was bored and had nothing to do
• You are still standing When the Regen scrapper who is +2 is eating dirt
• You think its really keen that You can get inside some of the tanks at the crash site
• You spend ten minutes defeating a large mob of Tsoo only to realize the other seven members of Your team were defeated nine minutes ago.
• You start up a new Tank on a different server, just so You can become a member of an All-Tank SUPERGROUP
• The team You just joined is doing the mission of a +2 ally, and the villains are the same level as in Your missions. Checking the missions tab, You then take time out to wonder why everyone else would have their difficulty set to Rugged or Heroic.
• You look at Your Combat Chat tab, trying to find out which villain in that mob hit you, just so You can target them specifically with Your next attack.
• You get a temp power that is a ranged attack, and opt not to use it, cause You like to watch the bad guys die up-close and personal.
• You actually receive an Enhancement You can use, and switch to the Management screen while surrounded to assign it.
• When creating a character, You wished that the size slider went even higher.
• The rest of Your team has already died during a fight, but You stay and keep on fighting anyway, even though You know You will die soon, just because it's the right thing to do.
• You watched the movie, "The Hulk" and thought to Yourself, 'Yeah, I wish!'
• When the defenders in Your Supergroup team up with You so they can play blasters for the night.
• Pre-unyielding: When the blaster tells You to just stand there and aggro so they can use the back of Your skull as a sniper scope and not worry about damage.
• When You start complaining about all the skittles the mobs are given You that aren't blue.
• When You look at freaks and go, "Yes, 2 for 1 xp sale tonight!"
• Your Leaping/Flying/Teleporting through Founders Fall and get sniped, only to stop and turn around so You can find him/her and get payback for that 1/50th of health You lost. (guilty)
• While doing the Mentioned above You decide to take out some Rikti Chief Soldiers and Chief Mentalist, as You casually look for the sniper because they were "obstructing Your view"
• When You find the sniper it is only +3 to you, You feel sorry and let them take a few shots to make it "even Steven"... before You take him out.
• The page with the word "retreat" was ripped out of Your dictionary.
• You acknowledge that You job is to deliver all of Your teammates; to, through, and back from a mission. Without a death.
• You are on a +4 TF and everyone quits but a controller and You stay. Because no teammates get left behind, not on Your watch.
• You think you've got a "Lost Connection from Mapserver" because Your Character isn't responding, and then You realize that You were actually knocked down.
• You call Your friends over from across the map, to show them the eight +3 Paragon Protectors you're surrounded by and haven't finished off yet, just to show off.
• You proudly display a level 5-ish Exploration Badge title over Your head instead of something "cooler" because it says "Tank".
• No one on Your team trusts Your count of the number of enemies that are just around the corner.
• Squishy: "How many enemies do You see?" Tanker: "Just a couple...." Squishy thinking 4-5, Tanker thinking 12-15.
• You love squishy jokes.
• Squishies don’t understand Tank Humor.
• You can’t believe how often that poor blaster dies...
• Without any form of stealth, You wander through a mission looking for Blinkies, completely ignoring the attacking villains because they're not worth Your time.
• You call the above “Tanker Stealth”
• You only pay attention to red floaties When they reach 3 digits
• You're already planning on how to abuse the Arena system to get the Held badges, which You had previously written off, as unobtainable.
• At level 36, You start street hunting level 41-42 Nems in PI just because you’re bored.
• You stand in a room with 30 enemies 3 levels higher than You while You run to the market to get some more pop and come back to find that You forgot to turn off Your toggles to give them a chance to actually tough you.
• Your level 30 tanker is reading a newspaper while every rikti in founder’s falls and the rikti crash site is attacking you.
• You are helping a friend streethunt for a mission and they get mad at You because You ignore the even levels to get to the +4. Just because they want to 'hurry up'.
• Same friends are gleefully surprised at the ton of xp they are getting from Your arrests. You ask how much they are getting and then wonder why they are happy... You get that much all the time.
• Your controller friend has his difficulty bar set to invincible because 'He always teams with tanks.' Now, is that a compliment or what?!?!
• You see an Assembler Prince and You think, Oh good, I need more minions for my Invincible aura...
• You see any clock boss and are like, good I need to break them to get those gears to feed invincible...
• You can't remember how foe color code works. "Is red or blue supposed to be a higher level?” "Purples supposed to be bad right?"
• You spend 2 weeks hunting solo for +2 Paragon Protectors to get the Crey Pistol accolade ... and after getting the useless thing,
• You continue to hunt +2 Paragon Protectors because they're the only "decent fights" You can find anymore.
• You're the only member of Your team to survive a mission and You hang Your head low in failure.
• When a pickup group asks for help with an AV, You ask what level is the AV, and how many in Your group, and the person replying tries to downplay the difficulty, but You want to hear just the opposite.
• Sappers take away Your endurance and Your toggles, and You realize how little real damage Malta do, and the toggle-dropping becomes just an annoyance.
• You suspect that You are never gonna be defeated in the arena, and might have to take a dive occasionally to prevent calls for nerfing.
• You go into a new zone and attack groups of +8 just to see what kind of damage they do.
• You're sad that there are only 4 badges for damage taken.
• You find Yourself embroiled in yet another "taunt" debate
• While Your team is debating the best way to attack the huge mob ahead, You get bored of the conversation & charge in, grab aggro, & yell, JUST KILL THE DAMN !@#$%'s!!
• You spend most of the time during the fight just chatting to the other players.
• The other players ask if You ever get hit for any damage and You answer sure look at the 3s and 4s over my head.
• One of the players asks if Your HP bar is working, since it never moves.
• You find Yourself surrounded by strangely dressed people, who keep trying to hit You with sharp pointy things.
• You find Yourself complaining due to the fact that the fire tank hogs all the aggro and You don’t have anyone standing around You to play with.
• You see purple over the mobs and think, wow good xp.
• You stand in the middle of the street during a train mish and look around for the boss, while 10 or 12 mobs attack you.
• You wonder what's so special about a boss that everyone has to mention When they're in spawn.
• You lead mobs into the Caltrops Your Blaster threw in front of himself, wondering why his aim is so bad.
• You know every spawn point in Crey's Folly, Brickstown, and PI
• You say to Your blaster teammate “You only have how many hit points?"
• You are sick of discovering the meaning of life due to the spare time You have in the middle of mobs
• You have ever played a blaster. (lol the reason I started a tank)
• Enemies look like xp and influence instead of actual bad guys
• The team says they should find a healer before going into missions and You go "Why?"
• You yell, "RUN!" and everyone thinks you're just joking. There's nothing you'd run from, after all.
• No matter what You are playing When a teammate gets in trouble You try to dive in and save them.
• When you're going at a couple +5's, You set Taunt to auto (just so no one wanders off) and You order a pizza online.
• The only things that makes Your hp move are psy arch-villains, but that's why there are healing powers in the primaries
• You don't see the threat... ever.
• When soloing You see a random Character's health drop and immediately rush in to take the aggro... no matter the level.
• If Your idea of good tactics is saving the minions for last.
• You start making forays into Brickstown at level 26, just to see if You can feel squishy again
• You go to monster island at 40 for two reasons 1 to see if they can kill You because few things can 2 You want the last debt badge
• You go to monkey island at 38 just so You can say You killed something +12 to you
• *IF* You die to an AV, the rest of Your team dies 3 seconds later.
• AV does an AoE attack, and everyone else notices but you.
• You jump for joy When a Kinetics/Rad defender joins the team. "OOhhh! Scrapper Time!"
• You don't ask to be SK'd because You can handle those +5 mobs.
• You finally get an attack that makes You feel like a hero!
• If You are running through a mish pulling 30 or more mobs behind You When You notice Your team dropping and You actually take damage, only to find an AV snuck in
• Your Supergroup members take screenshots of the rare occasions that Your health bar is less than half.
• Supergroup members REALLY take screenshots When You actually die, like it was Halley’s Comet. A once in a lifetime thing.
• After entering a door mission You run out to grab a few mobs, and after You get back to the group and they finish polishing off Your pull the mission is complete.
• You finally get to level 44 and You run all the way to the nearest trainer and You finally get that nifty range attack from Your epic pool.... And You still cream Your enemy right in the face with it, point blank.
• When someone yells "Watch out for his Nova!" and the AV fires it off and 3 or 4 people drop dead, and Your health bar didn't move so much as a tick...
• You plant Yourself in front of an AV, put auto taunt on, and then carry on conversation with Your Supergroup, various friends, and chime in on 3 different chat channels at the same time...
• You love tanking a little too much
• Regardless of what anyone says, regardless of any speculation, and discarding any evidence to the contrary, You know deep in Your heart that NO ONE will be able to beat a team of 8 Tanks in PvP.
• You forgot You set the difficulty to Invincible, only notice When You do Your mish's everyone complains it is to hard.
• You actually leave it set to invincible, cuz You like hearing, "OMG! <Bleep!>" on team chat.
• While heading into Your employee evaluation, You turn to one of Your colleagues and say "Okay, I'll move in and taunt. Once I've got aggro, You start blasting away!"
• You jump in front of pedestrians attempting to cross an intersection and make the 'taunt' gesture at passing cars.
• You complain that the enemies are 2 easy, meanwhile the rest of Your team is at the hospital
• You receive a /t from a stranger while You are pummeling a MOB of Villains "Hi are ya busy? My team and I could use a hand if You are interested."
• You decide to help a friend and there mission has all blues and greens to You and while standing in a group You get so upset the one time You get hit You search through the log to find exactly the enemy that did it to You and pummel them into the ground
• The difference between Your "a couple of enemies" and a squishies "a couple of enemies" usually involved You tacking a zero on the end of the number
• You get Your first knives of Artemis mission and at finding out they lay down Caltrops You wonder how many patches it would actually take to kill you. Then You turn on hover and herd the entire mission, naturally set on invincible, to one point turn off hover and proceed to stand there for a while wondering what the big deal is.
• You hear OMG.. all of the time
• You hear.. are You STUPID.. all of the time
• Your teammates are in the middle of a comment about pulling You dive into the middle of the mob in question taunting and clicking all of Your attacks
• You used the snowball repeatedly during long fights to tease the minions and freak out Your teammates
• You have a keybind that says "ITS MONKEY SPANKING TIME"
• You go out buy a pack of skittles and only eat the blue ones and throw everything else to Your friends or strangers.
• You only realize that "That annoying hurricane power" has a knock down component When teamed with someone else on a Banished Pantheon mission
• You pad Your invincible missions to 8 just so You can have decent sized mobs.
• Even though You can't hurt Infernal, You are still called regularly to clear the room, the portal and dance (taunt) with him to keep him from one-shotting the team members.
• You've ever told a Epic story of battle that includes the line "And that's When everyone else died and then I..."
• Your motto at low levels is "Real men/women don't dodge bullets, Real men/women take bullets."
• You've ever wished You could be hit by cars.
• You're parents never let You have a dog, so You spend a lot of free time in Striga Island teaching Warwolves to sit, beg, roll over, and lie down.
• Your boss walks into Your office just after you've jumped into the middle of a mob in Boomtown. You turn off Your monitor, have a ten-minute discussion with him, and after he leaves You turn on Your monitor to find Your character standing in the middle of a circle of defeated enemies.
• You manage Your Enhancements in the middle of battle.
• When you've been trying all day to get a few lengths ahead of Your 8 man team while being followed by 40+ mobs who are directly behind You just so You can face the boss and say the line "OH yea! You and want army?!?" while Your whole team looks on.
• Everyone one Your team starts yelling at You to stop pulling so many mobs because you’re causing too much lag!
• You and Your friendly fire tanker think its fun to stand 60ft apart and alternately taunt a mobs between each other and see how long You can keep it up before the mobs actually get a chance to attack...
• You think the best way to damage mobs is to taunt them on top of the highest building in town and then leap off, because other wise it just takes to long to arrest them.
• You see controllers on the team and think "crap" because You know if the mobs are all held Your invincibility won't work.
• Your street hunting and after arresting all the minions and Lt's You just move on the next group letting the bosses follow you, because You know it just takes way to long to arrest the bosses, and they can't hurt You anyways.
• You have been leading the group all night but not really trying that hard When two of Your blaster accidentally pull multiply groups so You just start taunting everything and end up having 100+ mobs around You and Your still taking no damage, and the rest of the team just stops what their doing so they can watch You work, and You say "what? Do I have something on my face?"
• You drag one Hercules class titan across an entire mission to another Hercules class titan just so You can see the two transform
• You try to solo the psychic clockwork king... not because You think You will succeed but just to prove a point.
• You see a team mate drop in battle and You say to Yourself Squishy
• You've ever turned Your nose up at a group of 3 +3 bosses because they weren't Paragon Protectors.
• You leave Your desk (while in the middle of a +2 mob) for a bio, grab a soda, and a snack, and return. (while the rest of Your team is licking wounds, coming back from the hospital, or waiting for endurance to come up to fight again) Sit down, take a bite, a sip, and then finish the mob.
• You SK up to help someone clear out an outdoor map portal corps mission, and happily claim a mob to beat up alone, since the other three, higher level tanks are breezing through and You can't get a hit in. After beating on said mob for a while, completely undamaged, You look over and see one of the level 50 tanks reading a newspaper while watching you, and the level 49 controller checking her PDA.  You took the hint and let them clear out the mob in a matter of seconds. *sigh* Someday, someday.
• Your health bar turns red and You start thinking You could really use a soda right now, and then You go get one
• You've ever drug 7 others with you, (regardless of their levels) told them to wait inside the door, just so Your mish would seem a bit challenging.
• You've ever tried to get locked in the trap room during the Hess TF!
• You start a speech on how each person in Your team should be fighting while surrounded by 30 purple enemies.
• You actually tell the rest of the team who died earlier while You were AFK to "take there time getting back, You will wait" while 7 bosses, 17 Lieutenants, and a room full of minions are taking shots at you...
• If You left in the middle of fighting an Arch Villain to help Your best friend rotate the tires on his car, then came back and win the fight shortly there after.
• You take more damage from Your own Energy Transfer than from the AV You are fighting.
• When You discover you've been doing most of the stuff here pre-level 32 and wonder if You oughtn't beg the Devs to make a Radiation Emission Tanker primary
• You find dying to be a "refreshing change of pace
• You wonder just how deep in the purple You have to go to actually need to turn on Your unstoppable.
• If You are in a 3 person pickup team in FF at level 30 and the 'healer' complains to You that they have no use for their 'heal other' while you're there.
• You're so used to not looking at Your HP bar, that You forget You even have one until You see a defender healing someone and You ask what the green #s mean
• You start to panic if Your HP bar drops below full.
• Your HP bar drops into the red because You don't remember what to do to fix it. "Do I click the green thing or the red thing? Red means stop, green means go. I want my HP Bar to stop glowing red, but then I also want my HP bar to go back up. Yellow means slowdown, maybe I'll just use that one."
• Fighting an Arch-Villain puts a twinkle in Your eye, while the other AT's are seriously thinking bugging out of the mission.
• You regularly have to pay repairs to the roof of Yours and neighbors apartments for all the damage done When leaping. (Homage to the Tick)
• You watch a Godzilla or other Giant Monster movie and think... "I could solo him"..
• You wonder if that Superman glasses trick works, and while still in costume put some on, and a random citizen walks by .. " Hi Clark."
• You never needed Your Supergroup's defenders... ever.... maybe just to keep You company... or make You a burrito
• Scrappers don’t like to invite You to a mission because You make them look too squishy.
• If You find the time to wisecrack AND spellcheck Your jokes as You go...
• Just to be nice, You take the time to spellcheck Your replies.
• You get bored and decide to start soloing Your missions on Invincible without Your toggles running just to see if You can... and still don't die even When taking on a +2 boss with a little strategy
• You think I am never going to get any of the damage taken badges at this rate. Maybe I will let down some defense and drop to a yellow health a few times to get the badge.
• Your ambushes are a lower level than the villains You are currently fighting.
• You tab through mobs looking for purples and You are solo.
• You have any item that causes You damage and You purposely turn it on just so You can speed up the 'damage taken' badges.
• If You get disappointed When You can't find enough purple mobs even When You set to invincible on the slider...
• You make another character (scrapper) just to see what pain feels like….
• Your level 35 scrapper has the same number of damage badges (and is at the same point to the next one) as Your level 50 Tank
• You can't wait to get Your Peacebringer to 20 so You can start tanking again.
• Back in the old days a Circle of Thorns mage ran up to You and exploded while You were surrounded by Your teammates. "Ha! What a stupid attack, huh guys? Guys?"
• You get bored decide to herd the map in a knives of Artemis mission just to see how many You can kill at once with KO blow... yes I was really bored.
• At level 48 You get upset because You can't find any mobs of high enough level to really scare you.
• After pulling a room full of baddies while being sk’d up from level 26 to level 34, Your SK runs out of range and the only thing You notice is it is harder to hit the purples around you.
• You go through an entire level in the 40s without using a heal inspiration.
• The party having aggroed 4 mobs of +3s/+4s on a portal mission due to their pets have been wiped out and return from hospital to find You still going at two and a bit of the same mobs.
• You did not know CoT mages exploded, just though it was a bugged animation
• You are a Tanker if You are disappointed When You find out that the mission difficulty slider doesn't go up to 11.
• You are level 46 inv/EM tank and in the crash sight, You are helping a level 42 blaster get some xp by attacking groups of level 50 Rikti (he is scouting more groups for you). You get a /tell from another group asking You to please leave a couple of groups for them.
• While working on getting a new badge You come up with a new game "How High can ya toss the Villain?"
• You tell everyone to run except You know that you’re not...
• You set Your missions to invincible because You think the bosses look cooler.
• You have proclaimed Yourself the pied piper of Perez park
• You know 2 colors, purple and boring
• Newbies accuse You of hacking because You only take 10% damage
• Seeing the "Run!" emote just makes You smile.
• You start a thread titled “You might be a tank if..."

 

On Fire Tanks…

You might be a Fire Tank if…   

• You've ever taken a wrong turn on a map, lost contact with Your team, then stumbled into a big mob. You do what any prudent, careful hero would do: You let out a whoop and jump 'em! As they wither in Your flames, Your teammates notice Your health drop (a little) and Your endurance drop (a little) and ask, “You okay?" and "need help?" You reply, "no, I got it...I'll catch up."
• Your pulse quickens and a grin creeps across Your face When You see a mob of villains all clustered together...with a nice hole right in the center You know You can jump into.
• In an effort to not be bored during a mission, You herd a room, set Your PBAoE attack to auto-fire, and go read a book for 30 minutes.
• You fight for hours before realizing You haven't targeted a single mob
• You do the costume mission then skip the creating the "new look"
• You have to purposely shut off all Your defenses to let the mobs kill You just so You can see what Your level 32 power can do.
• You know what the Level 32 power is.
• You turn down particle effects in order to see what Your fighting
• You decide not to use Your self-heal power because You want the enemy to feel like maybe they stand a chance.
• You find Yourself burning mobs in Boomtown to Power Level blasters
• You go play a warrior on WoW (the supposed tank of that game) and get mad When You realize You can’t kill more than 1-2 mobs at a time.
• You see a group of yellows and whites, and think, "cool I can refill my endurance, and do a little inspiration shopping"
• New costume slots mean nothing to You as You haven't seen Your costume in 20 levels, anyway
• You take every opportunity You get to do the Infernal mission, because You secretly hope that if You kill him enough You can move into his pad.
• You turn off all Your toggles so You can see rise of the phoenix once in a while.
• Your entire tanking strategy is Taunt, Burn, Taunt, Burn.
• You forget that You can still attack and do things while You are waiting to drop another burn patch.
• You like draining endurance because it gives You a chance to use Consume again.
• You do more damage with the powers in Your Primary Power set than with Your secondary.
• You are convinced that if You Burn long enough, you'll be able to start a forest fire in Perez.
• You are prevented from using a gas barbecue by Your family because You try way too hard to "burn" the food.
• After any argument, You find Yourself extremely tired and have to lie down for at least 10 seconds worth of inactivity.
• Your chief concerns in life include paying bills, getting laid, keeping Your job..............and ensuring that all of Your resistances are completely capped.
• When eating hot wings You always choose the hottest wings possible because you're 80% fire resistant.
• You’ve ever played the game "How many villains can I fit in the box" game.
• You only remember that it's the giant monsters that scale, not monsters, a couple of minutes after You started to try and solo the level 50 DE monster with Your 39 Fire tank. You then zoom out, and laugh When You see burn doing just 1 or 2 points of damage per patch.
• You start to think that all those flame-throwers (Warhulks, etc.) are actually *good* for You and enjoy seeing more than one used on You at a time The behemoths keep calling You son…
• You get bored in a fight You allow Your health to fall all the way down just so You can blow the bad guys up with Rise of the Phoenix
• You pop ROTP and keep tanking... while everyone goes oooo ahhh, look at the pretty birdie
• You are surrounded by foes from herding, You click Taunt and it won't activate, so You click it again and again and again until You realize nothing in the piles around You is left alive.
• You run Your Supergroup by chatting in-between burn drops.
• You love fighting to the edge of being out of End and Toggle Dropping only to Consume back to full End and being back in the action again.
• You've ever been attacked by a villain while talking to a contact and decide that, since Your health bar isn't moving, you'll take care of him When you're done talking. When You are finally done, You close the dialog window to find the villain is purple and half dead thanks to Blazing Aura.
• People complain that burn lags their machine due to all the damage floaties
• You're talking with Your other fire tank friend When You get hit with an ambush, You both just hit burn and continue on with 'as I was saying"
• While fighting ShadowHunter, the phone rings, You set BURN to autofire and answer the phone, only to come back and Your teammate ask, dude, why are You still burning...
• You had an 8 man team's worth of ambush hit You while You were leveling.. and You didn’t know until You finished and saw the bodies laying around.
• You think that jumping into dumpsters is pretty darn cool.
• You see an Invulnerable Tanker in the middle of a big mob of purples, his Health bar at full his blue bar barely showing. The bad guys are pounding pointlessly away at him, but they all have at least half health themselves. You say, "Oh, man...are You still fighting those guys?!?"  

 

On Invulnerable Tanks…

You might be an Invulnerable Tank if…   

• You think Fire Tankers seem too squishy to be called tankers.
• The bigger the pack of bad guys, the more secure You feel.
• You don't know where to look to see how much health You have left.
• The only time You even glance at Your health bar is When You check Your endurance.
• You end up out of SK range When surrounded by a group of wolves’ 20 levels higher than You and it takes You a moment to notice that Your health is slowly dropping.
• You feel more comfortable SURROUNDED by the enemy.
• Your Idea of fun is trying to herd a group of monsters from Monster Island in PI to Portal Corp. (guilty).
• you've ever had to remind Your team-mates that You are better off with more foes around you, so stop with the (RoF/Freezing Rain/Ice Patch)
• You get bored in invincible missions because the bad guys won't die fast enough
• You see a purple ambush that somebody left behind in Your lower level zone. You jump in, and think, "These guys are awfully hard to hit." You check and see that they are +9 to you.
• You know the villain is on the other side of that wall, and You think to Yourself “Hey I am an Invulnerable Tank damn it! I should be able to go right through this wall.” Then When the mish is over You start a thread titled “Walls need to be nerfed”
• You yell "HEART ATTACK!" right When Unstoppable crashes and Your defender actually has one.
• The only thought You have upon encountering a large group of +6 and +7 minions in PI is ... 'I wonder if I have enough time to take these out'.
• You’re taking damage from two deep purples so Your start taunting in as many deep purples as You can so that You will stop taking damage!  

 

On Stone Tanks…

You might be a Stone Tank if…   

• When the macro You use to activate Your new Rock armor says: Go-Go Gadget Shoulder pads!
• You might be changing Your hero name to Justifier and re-rolling a stone tank and Power Leveling him to 32 just so You can get Granite armor and stand around in Atlas Park while screaming:  “You will serve the Hamidon!”
• You've ever snuck up behind some level 20-somethings dancing under Atlas, put on granite armor and...
• /l For the Hamidon!
• /em roar
• You solo for a while, then switch back to Your Inv and notice how often You get hit.
• You like Rooted's -Speed because it's a marked improvement over Unyielding Stance.
• You can finally hear glowies in door missions! Yay!
• A DE boulder keeps calling You son during a fight.  

 

On Ice Tanks…

You might be an Ice Tank if…

• Try as You might You can’t find another Ice tank on Your server.
• You notice Your health bar actually dropping and You realize You forgot to press "Energy Absorption"
• You see a sapper and said "sweet a use for my hold"
• You give into temptation and run around the grocery store hitting shoppers in the head, seeing how many You can herd into the Frozen Food section, because there you'll have the advantage.  

 

On Redneck Tanks…   

You might be a Redneck Tank if…   

• You have a camouflaged cape
• You say "YA'LL VILLAINS GANNA GIT MONKEY STOMPED"
• You think the council/5th column are Illinois nazi's
• You tank best When tanked.
• Zones like rikti crash site is Your favorite just because they have tanks driving around.
• You've ever been driving along, and seen a sign saying: "Bridge freezes before roadway" and thought, "That might be a good place to hide a 6-pack”  

 

On Respec Trials…   

• You gather Your Supergroup together for a Respec, and they all say to You “You first!"
• You're the only player who hasn't died once throughout an entire Respec Trial.
• You've ever complained about a level 26/27 Respec being too easy When you're level 24.
• You seriously consider soloing the Respec trial.
• The little stream of red numbers over Your head in the Reactor Room is more puzzling than worrisome
• You wonder who keeps hitting You for DoT 1 damage, even though the room is clear, and wonder "What are these bubbles everyone is so worried about?"....
• You do the first three waves in the reactor without a bubble till someone reminds you, then You go ahead and finish without it.
• You're doing the Respec TF and someone says "I will snipe the bomb" and while the long animation of this power is being executed, You walk into it.
• Your actually surprised it did some damage to you.
• Your 6 member group (5 34s, 1 36) go into the first mission of Respec and it is full of level 40 Freakshows. (group size + mission difficulty) And the rest of the team won't let You try it.
• You mentally sigh When the TF group wants to Stealth past the hallway in the TV trial because You have to turn off Invincibility…
• You forget to turn invincibility back on after aforementioned stealthing and proceed to charge into the reactor room…
• You don't realize Invincibility is off until you've won the Respec trial and are on you're way out of TV WITHOUT Your 'Usual Escort' to the zone.
• You’re doing a Respec miss and someone yells" our healer is down" and You reply" We had a healer?"
• You wonder why everyone is always complaining about the exploding barrels.
• Your on one of the Terra Volta taskforces, you’re the only one left alive and solo the last group, but cant kill the last guy because all Your team mates went to the hospital and You want them to get the reward too.
• A Supergroup mate accidentally gimped himself and You wanted to save him the shame of dying on the trial
• You hate the idea of good people dying on the last wave because they didn't have a tank to handle all 4 groups
• You're just greedy and want to see how many freaks You can take at once
• During the level 34 Respec someone aggro's 4 sets of Freaks, all but You and the other tank are taking dirt naps. The team has enough time to go to the hospital and back to help mop up.
• While on the Task Force You think “Hey I can solo this thing.”
• You do try to solo the task force. Although just setting it up is the pain.
• You successfully solo the Terra Volta reactor mission.
• Your in the Respec trail fighting purple mobs in the hallways leading to the reactor room and You use Teleport Foe to port the bombs to you, because its the only way You can kill the freak tankers!
• You get annoyed in the reactor room because the level 36 Inv/Axe tank on the team keeps pulling the aggro off of you.
• You go on a Respec trial on a team with 2 other tanks, a scrapper, a controller & a blaster, & the blaster quits 5 minutes in figuring we would all be slaughtered, & then You send him a /tell 65 minutes later telling him how easy & fun the Respec was...  

 

On Alternates…   

• Your alt Squishy is half way to 10 million damage badge at level 30 (one day I’ll learn the difference between my main and alts)
• You jump into a group of TF monsters first and die, inexplicably wondering why, then realize you're slumming as Your defender.
• You always forget how fragile Your blaster alt is.
• You seek out certain enemies to exact revenge for their kills on Your alts
• You log in with one of Your alts and completely ignore the red floaties rising over Your head and then are totally surprised When You fall face first into the pavement in a couple of seconds (happens to me ALL the time).
• You wouldn't think of building Your squishy alts without Tough and Weave. The best offense is a good defense, after all.
• Dust builds up on Your neglected squishy alts.
• Whenever You run Your ALT AT’s, you're always shocked at the different status effects that foes apparently have
• The whole time You are running Your ALT, You keep saying to Yourself, "now only if I had my tank"
• You ever died street sweeping in Perez with Your level 8 scrapper, and then immediately logged off and switched to Your level 39 tank to get revenge on the Bone Daddy that burned You and every Skull in that zone
• You know You SHOULD work on leveling Your alts, but this is too much fun.
• When playing Your scrapper alt, You run headfirst into the first group of purples You see and take a dirt nap.
• You run around on all Your alts, including low level tanks, and can't help but think how squishy they are.
• You are hunting Vahz in Faultline with 2 others and You run into a group of 10 yellows and orange. You take out 2 before You face plant, then remember You are playing Your DM/SR scrapper.
• You design Your alts to be able to tank no matter what AT they are.
• You ever died fighting Tsoo with Your level 24 blaster, and immediately switched over to get revenge with Your level 18 Tanker
• You jump into battle and keep face planting instantly... and after a dozen dirt naps You realize.... I’m on my blaster not my tank....
• Your blaster has more melee attacks then Your tank
• People keep yelling at You When Your playing for defender for getting too close to combat and [censored], take dmg!!!
• You play a scrapper and go "ewwww, this guys pretty squishy"  

 

On Inspirations…   

• You almost never need to use Heal inspirations, and wonder why You even bother to keep them.
• Your tray only has endurance and damage inspirations.
• You eat health inspirations just to get them out of Your tray, When at full health.
• You eat all the small inspirations to get rid of them, but save the big ones to give to team members.
• Somewhere in Your 40's You realize You only carry awakens to give to others.
• You hate awakens and delete them as soon as You get them.
• You wonder why You carry awakens.
• Your actually offended When You get and get an awaken.
• Your inspiration tray is full of nothing but Catch a Breaths and You delete anything else as soon as it hits.
• When You curse every time You get a green instead of a blue inspiration and find creative ways to clear the greens out, like diving into a mob with all toggles off.
• You look at Your inspiration tray and exclaim:" Hey! How did a rez get in here!?" and then promptly give it away/delete it in disgust.
• You haven't used an inspiration since level 18.
• You stopped buying respites at level 10.
• You just remove the inspiration window from Your screen for over 10 levels.
• You hand out all types of inspirations like they are sweeties (especially respites).
• You remind Your teammates to use their inspirations so You can keep feeding Yours to them.
• due to an unfortunate accident with an AOE on an AV, you've ever turned Your back on the AV and started to pull and kill minions in the hopes of getting enough rez inspirations to get the rest of the team up.
• You give away more Inspirations than You use ( by about 20:1).
• You get an awaken and wonder what its for  

 

On Tank Smashers…   

• You take personal offense at mobs named Tank Smasher, and kill them no matter what the level.
• You’re the only person You know who actually likes fighting Tank Smashers. "Cause they rez for double the xp n stuff."
• One of Your teammates says that there is a Tank Smasher in the room up ahead and the first thing to go through Your mind is "they got bartenders in here now?"
• You think Tank Smashers were what the name implied. After tanking about 200+ You head the boards and ask to make em stronger if you’re in the mish.
• You look at a bottle of vodka and think "Now THIS is a Tank Smasher"
• You get Your Tank Smasher badge in 10 minutes messing around in Crey's Folly.  

 

On Debt…   

• You know You have died 5 times in 36 levels but can only remember the first.....and the last time.
• You’re not sure where Your debt bar is located.
• You hear squishies talking about how much debt they have and wonder what kind of contest “debt” is, and why they didn’t invite You to join in.
• You make it through Your 20’s and 30’s without accumulating debt.
• You actually die in a mish and notice that Your only getting half the xp You usually get and wonder why.
• Debt has to be explained to You more than once and you’re still incredulous about the whole thing. You’re sure they’re pulling Your leg. Common You only get half the xp? No really?
• You exempt down to 34 to do the Respec trial and the team leader says, "I hope You 2 exempts have lots of debt to wipe out." and You reply, "What’s debt?"
• You ask Your teammates how much debt You get for being defeated at Your level, knowing that if You didn't You would never know.
• You just realized… There’s a debt cap? Really, come on You are joking right?
• You forgot what color debt is.  No really… debt turns Your experience bar funny colors?
• You intentionally turn off all Your defenses repeatedly and charge the Hamidon because You know there's no other way you're going to get the debt badges and You decide You need them for completeness.
• Your friends can't figure out how You level so fast and You tell them that Debt will cut Your leveling in half...and they don't understand what You mean…
• You are ashamed to admit that while You are well on the way to the 4th damage badge, You already have the first debt badge.
• You have debt badges - not because of being killed but committing suicide just so others can stay up with you.  

 

On herding…   

• You wonder why (and are peeved that) the mobs can jump 2 stories high, but can't seem to keep up with You When you're practically walking down the street.
• You are called to herd/tank/AV-missions while You are already in an instanced mission herding/tanking.
• You get annoyed at various crowd control effects that prevent the mobs from gather tight around you.
• You respond to a pick-up request to tank/herd and have to turn down 2 other requests as You are traveling to the first request.
• Your favorite pastime is to herd a bunch of Council just to stand there and take pictures as they unload on You with Rocket Launchers and Gattling Guns
• You've lost track of Yourself AGAIN while herding several groups up.
• You see the type word "herd" more than once or twice a day
• When You herd a room of whites, 40 enemies attacking you, a player says "just [censored]! Wow!” and You think: “What? These are whites”
• You find Yourself at the mall on a weekend, seeing the packed shoppers, and think to Yourself, "Huh, I could herd them".
• When the even level damage dealers complain about not being able to hit anything in the groups You herd.
• When the last 20 tells for invites were... Can You herd?
• You herd foes just so it looks like You have friends
• You ever been on a team of eight and herd an entire mission and think to Yourself "oh no!" When You see one minion attacking the other seven.
• Final room of the Eden trial, and all You can think of is, "hmm herding."
• You get 50 tells a night asking You to herd or PL…
• After having herded a large group You see Your teammates health bars drop because of a patrol behind them. You type, "Baddies behind you, take them I got this..." You then scroll out to see 30 +5 baddies around You and all You think is "hmmm... this may take a while."
• You join a team, walk in the door type "herding", get a "herding?" back; shortly followed by "oh @#$%...." and then "wow"
• You go and herd a ton of Warwolves and vampyri not to nova them, but because You want to re-create the CastleVania game of old.
• Your in a wolf herding mission with 200+ deep purple mobs and Your team tells You to stop 20ft from the dumpster and wait until the blaster has time to place all of his trip mines.
• Your teammates stand behind You chatting to each other randomly telling You that a runner got away - and nothing else.
• You race to missions so You can get ALL of the bad guys to the front door before the rest of Your team can show up and get in the way of Your herding
• You beg Your team to let You try and herd the kraken
• You herd/stack up jaegers because they resemble popcorn When they die…
• You herd carnies because “You love a parade"
• You try to herd EVERY villain in a mission, just to make the screenshot at the end look more impressive.
• You secretly herd 5 or 6 jaegers in the 50+ praetorian mob, just to spice things up for squishies… (not that I have ever done that)
• You herd half of Eden just cuz a friend wanted to take a screenie
• You have ever gotten stuck by Your herd.
• After You have herded up the max number of freaks in the back of Crey’s, You sweep Your mouse across them and go "ooh, pretty colors!"
• You can't decide whether herding is more art or science.
• You pull the DE herd into a multi-buff area, just to see how long it takes
• You go back to get the *one* mob that slipped away from Your herd numbering in the hundreds.
• You herd Knives of Artemis because You miss the old Unyielding Stance.
• You hear a bunch of comments from Your teammates on TeamSpeak about the huge mob You have herded together & how there are too many to handle!! & The mob is about 1/2 the size of what You typically pull When You solo.
• You swear everything in the game can be herded
• You try to herd everything in the game
• You do herd everything in the game  

 

On Taunt…  

• You find Yourself using Taunt while soloing, and wonder "huh, why did I do that?"
• You think trying to "single pull" is stupid; the more the merrier! Pull with Taunt and bring 'em all!
• You see a traffic light go from green to yellow to red at an intersection and the thought crosses Your mind that You should probably target the light and Taunt.
• You're so used to the concept You should be taking all the attacks, that When You jump into a free for all in the arena, You taunt everyone...  ...and don't think it's weird until someone asks You why you're taunting in a free for all?
• You taunt something and just let it hit You so You can watch Your guy tossing his axe back and forth.
• You forget taunt is on auto.
• You taunt more than Your teammates attack.
• You have posted both on the "every tanker should take taunt" side on a taunt thread AND the "No tankers don't need taunt" side on the same thread.
• You think Taunt is Your best ranged attack!
• Taunt is Your ONLY ranged attack since You ran out of snowballs.
• You think of new and interesting taunts constantly.
• Your wife belches after drinking a soda quickly, and You think " Nice taunt!"...then a half-second later think "Hey, I'm holding aggro, what the f*%k does she think she's doing!" 

 

Edited June 9, 2020 by Golden Ace
changed font size from 14 to 18.

[Redlynne]

Good job making the font size small enough to require effort/work to read ...

[Myrmidon]

You might be a Tank if...

 

You call other Tankers “squishies”.

[JasperStone]

You might be a Tanker if.... you can't see teeny tiny font because you are used to looking at enemies up close ....

 

*squints*

[VV]

Seriously, my first character and first 50 was a Tanker, way back in the day. I kept hearing about this "mezz" stuff and how everyone hated Carnies. I went on the forums numerous times making a fool of myself saying things like, "Mezz isn't that bad in this game!" and "Carnies are my favorite to fight!"

 

Then I made a Blaster...

 

FFFF that SHSHSH. Made it to about 18 and that thing never came out of the character bin. I replaced it with a Controller because I wanted some payback. To this day, I still have the same two mains, a tanker and a controller.

[Redlynne]

On 5/23/2020 at 5:37 PM, Golden Ace said:

 

You might be a tank if...

• You've ever been hip deep in minions, and told Your group to take their time on the way back from leveling.  
• It’s ever occurred to You to let a toggle drop to give the villains a fighting chance.
• You can look up at something 20 times Your size and say "Tell yeah what, I'll give You the first shot, just to make it fair."
• You have ever gone AFK while surrounded to get a soda, and came back with the same health and more end then You left with, which was part of the plan.
• When Your health bar turns yellow, You think, "Hmmm… I might need a respite in a few minutes."
• You find Your conversations with the rest of Your group to be interrupted by periodic taunts.
• You find those same conversations to be particularly one sided.
• When, upon seeing a room full of deep purples, You tell Your team: "I got this. You guys go the other way."
• You tell Your team to stand back I'll get that group and that group and that group...
• When You zone into the Hive Devouring Earth’s put up signs that say, "Keep Off the Grass, Please?"
• You take it real personal When something gets past You and flattens a squishy.
• You tend to attack first and THEN look to see what color the bad guys are
• Half way through a big battle You say, "Oh, hey, here's the Arch Villain.
• You sidekick to a higher-level player, not because You couldn't take the damage, but because You were having trouble keeping them focused on You instead of Your teammates.
• You’re facing five +4 bosses after the rest of Your team wipes, and You say "Don't teleport me back to the entrance, I'm fine, just come back When you're ready"
• You wonder why Your teammate keeps knocking bad guys away from You instead of toward you
• You invite a full team of 7 other players with Your difficulty slider cranked to "Invincible", all of them lower level than you, to "make it more challenging"
• You ask the healer to stop healing You because You don't need it and it's a waste of endurance; blast the bad guys instead.
• You tell the bubbler "I'm good, man, use Your endurance for blasting instead of bubbling me"
• You look up from beating down a bad guy to realize the reason that one guy isn't down yet is because he's a +5 or higher and Your attacks weren't touching him. And You didn't notice him until he was the last one left.
• You don't understand why other people don't use line-of-sight to try to pack the bad guys closer to you
• You see a prison in real life and have an urge to Super Jump over the barbed wire fence to defeat some prisoners.
• You wonder why the bad guys just stand around in these office buildings, and then You around look at Your cube farm and realize why.
• You can finish an 8 mish story arc before Your blaster buddy can do 2 missions ...both of You solo
• You wish there was a higher setting than Invincible. (More bosses and lots more mobs.)
• The first words out of Your mouth When entering an Arch Villain room is… The big guy's mine…
• You consider every other AT a support AT.
• Other party members are Your children, and You get mad if someone hurts Your kids
• You don't know where the hospital is, let alone what it's for.
• You don't worry about lag killing you, no matter how many mobs you're fighting.
• Your battle cry is "Awwww come on...You hit like a GIRL!"
• You like the pretty fungi colors so much You leave them till last.
• You leave the portals standing so You can get more mobs to fight.
• You’ve got mobs packed so tight the only way out is up.
• You think of scrappers as squishies.
• You start feeling sorry for the mobs.
• You pull and three rooms are cleared.
• You walk into a place and You have the most magnetic personality in the room.
• You listen to Your team leader’s plan and You think to Yourself "Well, at least I won't die."
• You don't care if there IS a boss in the mission, or even 2 or 3 and furthermore You don't give a damn HOW many hit points they have.
• You feel safe everywhere. Slightly uneasy is about as bad as it gets.
• Purple is Your new favorite color.
• The last boss that gave You any real fight was.... hmmm
• Team invites are worse than the pop-ups for that x-10 web cam!
• You own every bad guy that crosses Your path
• You can't understand why anyone would want to play any other AT
• You send in a bug report because You died
• You team with a defender and both of You have time to catch up on old times during a battle.
• You get the final damage taken badge before the first debt badge.
• All the squishies wonder how You have the time for all those snapshots in the middle of combat
• You’ve been told by numerous people that You can’t solo Hami, and You think to Yourself “yeah sure”
• You look at a Hami... then Your empath defender friend and say "hold ma beer and watch this".... then proceed to tank Hami (with a lot of empath loving)
• You think tanking Hami is for tanks, not scrappers
• You try to tank Hami without a healer
• You watch The movie trailer for The Fantastic Four and near the end You think "OMG!!! The Thing has Unyielding Stance!!!"
• You've found Yourself standing among the unconscious members of Your team and many many foes.
• You sometimes don't notice that You have been ambushed
• You go AFK mid combat When soloing.
• You are envious of Nova because the pile of 30+ mobs You finally gathered together gets wiped out in one shot.
• You'd trade you're entire secondary power set for the Nemesis Staff... “You mean it's a Ranged AoE Taunt that does 3 times the damage of most of my low-level attacks?!?" (Sigh no longer, Thanks States)
• When You get the Nemesis staff and realize that You can gain 5 levels soloing in the next 5 days. (Sigh no longer again)
• If You think of the Nemesis staff as taunt with a kick. (Thanks States this was obviously much to powerful for me to have)
• At Level 35 You seek Paragon Protectors +4/+5 to You to "Get Revenge" for what they did to Your Level 42 Blaster.
• When the blaster wants to pull and You just look puzzled at the concept. “You want less enemies!?!"
• You get a mission to Kill X of an enemy and go "ooh! an excuse to go to a Hazard Zone!"
• You spend 10 minutes in a zone looking for the "Perfect" group to kill.
• Your teammates have to remind You that you've finished the kill task, You can stop harassing the poor enemies now
• You feel that AV's need to be tougher.
• You actually get angry if someone on Your team "Gets hit once."
• When someone types "Boss" and You ask, "What's Your point?"
• You discover you're taking damage in a fight and consider it a piquant change of pace.
• You set Your mission difficulty to Invincible and don't notice a difference
• You are NOT a strong advocate of the "turn the other cheek" philosophy
• You like to take strolls through Eden just because You enjoy the scenery
• You like to jog through the streets of Perez just so You can live out Your dream of leading in a marathon
• You told a trigger-happy blaster, "I told You so", as he steals aggro from an AV and discovers the true meaning of 'squishy'
• You yawn, as someone else’s 'Council Ambush' (+5 to Your group) decides to pick on You instead.
• Your group is in awe that You single-handedly took out the previously mentioned Council.
• The leader of the group the ambush was meant for comes over to thank You for saving his group's hide.
• Your best friend (a blaster) teams with You for the first time and starts yelling (capital chat letters)..." You NEED NERFED!!!!!"… and he is serious…
• Your idea of pulling is walking up to they guys Your team doesn't want to fight, and leaving the other guy for them.
• Your selective hearing omits any sentences containing the words: Hold, Wait, Pull, Rest, & Run
• You make documentaries on the habits of Rikti Monkeys in Your spare time.
• (In best Aussie Accent) OOOOoooo now lookie what we 'ave here! Why it's a Rikti Monkey and 'e's a beaut! Now usually ya don’t see these lads off by themselves usually ya see them with a couple of Lads wielding a Laser Rifl-" Skreeeeeee
• "Ouch now that's gonna 'urt a bit as You can see the Laser has shorn me arm clean off! But luckily the wound has been cauterized and I wont bleed to death."
• You see a big group of whites and yellows, and think, "ohh good I was running low on inspirations"
• You still have the Halloween candy rez.
• You read bios of the various AV’s while fighting them and then proceed to talk to Your group about it.... But the group never responds back.
• You can't remember what a green or blue minion represents level wise.
• You have ever ran from the hospital to whatever #$%^$@!!!! Villain that actually got you, cursing the whole way, herding the entire board along the way (unknowingly), run in the mission, herd the hallways You didn't take before (unknowingly again), stomp the $%#$%# out of the villain, then turn around and wonder where all these minions came from.
• You find that level 50 is boring, no purples to fight
• You use total focus just to scare the defender
• The only reason the defender is there is for You to help him get his 3rd tier healing badge
• Its 3:00 AM You fall asleep fighting Seige (on Invincible) and wake up 3 hrs later to find You haven’t died yet, let alone hp movement.
• Upon jumping into a new mob of enemies and discovering that 3 of them are Paragon Protectors, Your first thought is not "oh crap I'm dead" but rather "oh crap this is going to take forever."
• You have to go AFK during a TF, so You set Yourself to follow the scrapper, set taunt on auto, and tell him not to get himself killed. And he does.
• All enemies below monster / Arch Villain scream in terror and despawn When You get within 100 yards from them.
• When You are surrounded by enemies and You see the Rest icon on someone at the team's buffs list
• You never realized that WarHulks actually cause damage When they explode.
• You see a villain do a critical hit on You and think, "aww, isn't that cute!"
• You're surrounded by oranges and reds and You look at Your health bar hoping it would move...
• You suggest to the group to just teleport You into mobs to hold aggro because You have to go for a long while.
• You're fighting an AV and 2 of Your buddies suddenly die. And then Your dead buddies have to explain that yes, this particular AV does in fact have a large AoE that you've never noticed.
• Your buddies find out the hard way that using Nova on a herd of Nemesis Jaegers isn't as safe as You make it look.
• You didn’t know that Jaegers explode and do fire smashing damage When they die
• You have to keep explaining to teammates not to stand so close to You When in fighting AoE's because they actually think its safer to fight right beside You than to blast from range.
• You respond to every AV mission tell with "Sure!"
• You think that for being the Leader of the Praetorian, Tyrant is a wussy lil [Censored].
• You wonder why people keep doubting You When You say You can do it, When they just SAW You tank those +6 monster's yesterday.
• You reach 50 then start a scrapper and find they are too squishy for Your liking.
• The only reason You know that his Nova did go off is that You notice a sudden abundance of black bars in the team HUD?
• You are helping out some lower level Supergroup members and are amazed at how much damage You actually can do When fighting blue/white mobs. Instead of Your severely reduced damage for all the +5/+6 mobs You have normally been fighting.
• Your team runs off without You cuz Your stuck under 100 wolves corpses...
• Your level 50 and a level 3 wants You to SK him and go to PI…
• In the middle of a fight, You realize that You have forgot to have Your inspiration tray visible and only noticed because the screen looked "funny".
• You taunt and wonder why You can’t keep aggro on +10s
• You get the unveiler Badge at level 32 without help
• See a big multi-level room full of Nemesis and You rush in to fight them all...as Your teammates say wait...
• 1,000,000 to 1 odds against You is not a problem
• You look up at a boss that is running away from you, and want to yell, "You're 3 feet and 3 levels bigger than me, GET BACK HERE You CHICKEN!!!"
• The only time You really notice You "might" need an SK is When You see Your health bar move
• You get kicked from a team fighting +8's because You refused an SK, and are therefore leeching, because there's 'no way' You could tank those guys
• You're in a Nemesis mish, happily herding the +2 Fake Nems and get them to the herd point. You start taking them down and wonder, "I just let loose with my Buildup - Energy Transfer- Bone Smasher - Total Focus attack chain. Why didn't his health bar move?" Then You look at the name: Nemesis Rex. You then think, "Hmm… A +2 AV. That would explain it. Let's rock!"
• You Solo the above mish kill everything but Nemesis Rex, spend 15 min on him, and while he can’t hurt you, You can’t hurt him either. So You run around clicking Blinkies and just ignore the AV the whole time while he is pounding on you.
• You tell Your empath healer not to put Fort on You so You can take more damage to get the damage badge
• When You hit 40 and want to go to Monkey Island, but a higher level Character tells You they are 49-50, and You reply.... So?
• You solo so much that You don’t even no what a team is
• The very first macro You set is /stuck
• Your teammate says "BRB" and You move on to the next room...
• You remember as a blaster a “blue” solo Paragon Protector used to face plant You every time, and wonder why.
• You’re on a Task Force and the leader disconnects, You are now the team leader. Suddenly all the groups become +2’s & +3’s and the squishies want to reset the mish.
• You wish the difficulty settings had higher settings only accessible for Tanks.
• You look for low levels to invite to Your team so You can spawn larger mobs.
• You've tried playing Scrappers and can't quite get the hang of them, because 'they're kinda squishy'
• You discover from experience exactly what the 'purple patch' is and what it does, several times, and just find it annoying.
• You see 2 +3 Paragon Protectors & smile, & then remember Your squishy used to run from solo -2 Paragon Protectors.
• You can walk away with an entire mob wailing on You and not blink an eye. In fact this is Your favorite way to get Your laundry done.
• Your idea of pulling involves several groups of enemies.
• Only the mobs outside of melee range are of any concern. The ones in melee are right where You want them.
• You've played through to the late game and have no idea what mobs are the mezzers.
• You tell blasters that pull too much aggro to come to you.
• You think that "knockback" is a word You should never mention in polite company
• People keep saying they need to scout, which is exactly what you're doing... and pulling all of the TF mobs with You as You go.
• You feel really disappointed When you’re only ambushed by 2 oranges.
• Your idea of amusement is running through Eden, Perez, the Hollows, PI, (or any zone that would make You happy), taunting everything to see how big of a mob You can get. (Guilty)
• Someone tries to grief You by training a herd of +6 mobs onto You and You turn and say "Thanks! I was looking for something to do!"
• You are jumping through Creys Folly with Your blaster friend at level 38. He screams "SNIPER!"" and You proceed to run up to said level 40 Crey Sharpshooter and say "Aww how cute! Can I keep it?" While he's ineffectively shooting You in the face.
• Your SUPERGROUP asks what level You are (38) and THEN asks You to tank 45/46 Praetorians.
• You are in a group mission, about to attacks a large group of enemies, and a teammates says, 'Take out the mezzers first!', and You reply 'Which ones are the mezzers??'
• You have to keep reminding Your teammates to stop killing the enemies You have gathered directly around You and concentrate on the Boss/AV instead.
• You take a Glowie mission and just walk through it looking for the glowies, not paying any attention to the enemies following you, shooting you, and punching you…click on the glowies, and then exit the mission.
• You HATE Master Illusionists.
• You can give a detailed description of what the Hydra looks like, from Your prolonged up-close personal relationship with him/her/it.
• You see a Kaken and the first thought that pops into Your head is 'Yes!!'
• You’re soloing and not looking for a team but You still get 2 tells an hour asking You to join a team.
• You wonder why Your health has suddenly started to move down some, while fighting a large group of enemies, until You realize that there is an AV in the mix that You never noticed.
• Upon accepting an invite to a pick-up group, the first words from the previously all-squishy team are: Yay!! Hooray! Now we can finish this mission!!
• Your mentor gets out of range and You keep on fighting like nothing's wrong.
• You charge into the biggest group of bad guys You can find: "cause it's safer there"
• You're standing in the street talking to Your friend and they say, "Did You know there's a sniper shooting you?"
• You jump off the tallest building You can find in Steel Canyon just to see if You can actually get hurt.
• The only thing harder than You is Iron Vixen's backside! Lol
• You are surrounded by 40+ Nemesis that are +5 levels on you, the rest of the party is hurting or down from being too close to AoE’s and You tell them ... "Just go to the Hospital, I will take care of it while You are gone."
• You have many groups of Tankers at the shores of Monster Island (ranging from 35 to 50). And they all in unison look toward all the Level 50 DE Giant Monsters, crack their knuckles and say ... "We can take them"
• When an Arch-Villain runs away from YOU!!
• When the Squishies look around the corner to see 20 or more mobs and say "OH $#!+" and You think, "only 20, where's the challenge in that."
• You say "Run" and nobody thinks You mean it.
• You get mad because one of the minions surrounding You has interrupted Your emote dance.
• You're the only one yapping away in the middle of a heated battle.
• You've ever spent hours on the CoH forums, without ever posting a flame or snipe another poster, and/or posted actual good info helping a fellow player…
• You get half way through a fight without the correct toggles on.
• You have to be reminded that You are vulnerable while You are Exemplaring.
• Squishies complain that You are nuts, then ask You if You want to do it again.
• You know every damage type in the game, and what uses it.
• You want another 3 difficulty levels above Invincible for a real experience, but Invincible for quick XP.
• You pay low level character to be on Your team so You can spawn Your invincible missions with more mobs, then solo em.
• When You say "Run!" you're not really including Yourself.
• You do emotes in the middle of a swarm of villains, cause You CAN.
• You know every damage type in the game, and what uses it… but You don't really care most of the time.
• You've ever hummed the Jaws theme before attacking the octopus at IP
• You've ever stopped in the middle of battle and tried to give the NPC's advice
• The only word You say in an entire day of teaming is "Ready!"
• No matter what level ambush is broadcast, You head right toward it
• The first thing You do When answering a help request in the forum is pull out a calculator or spreadsheet.
• You get disappointed When the group wants to "pull".
• When You see purples You see experience, not danger.
• You have to be told we don't have a healer.
• You were ever in combat, and went AFK for something, forgot You were still in battle and took a trip to the store, came back and were still there getting beat on.
• You ever said "AFK- bio break" as the team was going up the elevator, only to return to find a partial team wipeout at Your feet, the survivors downstairs, and a mob of enemies flailing away at You standing there in the elevator lobby.
• Your teammates look into a room, proclaim, "Oh man, we're so screwed," and Your only response is a very confused, "Huh? Why is that?"
• Your blaster stands way behind You and snipes while You have Invincibility running just because You think it's funny to make villains turn around in mid-stride.
• You wonder if Dull Pain is worth taking at L30 now that You have both Health and Stamina. You also wonder about which power to take next at L28.
• You have a few hundred wolves running after you, and someone yells Help!! A wolf came up on the rock! Come kill him! You look back over Your shoulder at the hundreds of wolves, and wonder if they would follow You up and still keep aggro on you...and ask the others if they'd consider an experiment....
• While engaging the first group of mobs during a hunt x mission, Your ambush shows up and You didn't notice.
• You spend 20 minutes pulling together a team to take out an AV, WHILE she is hitting You
• After beating down a Freakshow Tank, You stand over their unconscious body yelling out "Get up You worthless piece of metal, come on prove to me You are a real tank and get back up and take Your beating again!!"
• When an AV is a few levels higher than You and You can't hurt them, but they can't hurt You either.
• You refer to minion aggro as Your "ablative meat shield"
• You've tried to determine the longest period You could /em newspaper while in combat.
• After fighting a challenging mob and suddenly looking around and discovering that you’re the only one standing.
• Tell everyone to let You open all the doors...............just in case.
• The bubbler goes AFK and You don’t even notice
• 5 embalmed blow up on the positron TF and You are the only one left standing
• You team with a dedicated empath healer and another tank then the empath quits the team and claims that he was bored and had nothing to do
• You are still standing When the Regen scrapper who is +2 is eating dirt
• You think its really keen that You can get inside some of the tanks at the crash site
• You spend ten minutes defeating a large mob of Tsoo only to realize the other seven members of Your team were defeated nine minutes ago.
• You start up a new Tank on a different server, just so You can become a member of an All-Tank SUPERGROUP
• The team You just joined is doing the mission of a +2 ally, and the villains are the same level as in Your missions. Checking the missions tab, You then take time out to wonder why everyone else would have their difficulty set to Rugged or Heroic.
• You look at Your Combat Chat tab, trying to find out which villain in that mob hit you, just so You can target them specifically with Your next attack.
• You get a temp power that is a ranged attack, and opt not to use it, cause You like to watch the bad guys die up-close and personal.
• You actually receive an Enhancement You can use, and switch to the Management screen while surrounded to assign it.
• When creating a character, You wished that the size slider went even higher.
• The rest of Your team has already died during a fight, but You stay and keep on fighting anyway, even though You know You will die soon, just because it's the right thing to do.
• You watched the movie, "The Hulk" and thought to Yourself, 'Yeah, I wish!'
• When the defenders in Your Supergroup team up with You so they can play blasters for the night.
• Pre-unyielding: When the blaster tells You to just stand there and aggro so they can use the back of Your skull as a sniper scope and not worry about damage.
• When You start complaining about all the skittles the mobs are given You that aren't blue.
• When You look at freaks and go, "Yes, 2 for 1 xp sale tonight!"
• Your Leaping/Flying/Teleporting through Founders Fall and get sniped, only to stop and turn around so You can find him/her and get payback for that 1/50th of health You lost. (guilty)
• While doing the Mentioned above You decide to take out some Rikti Chief Soldiers and Chief Mentalist, as You casually look for the sniper because they were "obstructing Your view"
• When You find the sniper it is only +3 to you, You feel sorry and let them take a few shots to make it "even Steven"... before You take him out.
• The page with the word "retreat" was ripped out of Your dictionary.
• You acknowledge that You job is to deliver all of Your teammates; to, through, and back from a mission. Without a death.
• You are on a +4 TF and everyone quits but a controller and You stay. Because no teammates get left behind, not on Your watch.
• You think you've got a "Lost Connection from Mapserver" because Your Character isn't responding, and then You realize that You were actually knocked down.
• You call Your friends over from across the map, to show them the eight +3 Paragon Protectors you're surrounded by and haven't finished off yet, just to show off.
• You proudly display a level 5-ish Exploration Badge title over Your head instead of something "cooler" because it says "Tank".
• No one on Your team trusts Your count of the number of enemies that are just around the corner.
• Squishy: "How many enemies do You see?" Tanker: "Just a couple...." Squishy thinking 4-5, Tanker thinking 12-15.
• You love squishy jokes.
• Squishies don’t understand Tank Humor.
• You can’t believe how often that poor blaster dies...
• Without any form of stealth, You wander through a mission looking for Blinkies, completely ignoring the attacking villains because they're not worth Your time.
• You call the above “Tanker Stealth”
• You only pay attention to red floaties When they reach 3 digits
• You're already planning on how to abuse the Arena system to get the Held badges, which You had previously written off, as unobtainable.
• At level 36, You start street hunting level 41-42 Nems in PI just because you’re bored.
• You stand in a room with 30 enemies 3 levels higher than You while You run to the market to get some more pop and come back to find that You forgot to turn off Your toggles to give them a chance to actually tough you.
• Your level 30 tanker is reading a newspaper while every rikti in founder’s falls and the rikti crash site is attacking you.
• You are helping a friend streethunt for a mission and they get mad at You because You ignore the even levels to get to the +4. Just because they want to 'hurry up'.
• Same friends are gleefully surprised at the ton of xp they are getting from Your arrests. You ask how much they are getting and then wonder why they are happy... You get that much all the time.
• Your controller friend has his difficulty bar set to invincible because 'He always teams with tanks.' Now, is that a compliment or what?!?!
• You see an Assembler Prince and You think, Oh good, I need more minions for my Invincible aura...
• You see any clock boss and are like, good I need to break them to get those gears to feed invincible...
• You can't remember how foe color code works. "Is red or blue supposed to be a higher level?” "Purples supposed to be bad right?"
• You spend 2 weeks hunting solo for +2 Paragon Protectors to get the Crey Pistol accolade ... and after getting the useless thing,
• You continue to hunt +2 Paragon Protectors because they're the only "decent fights" You can find anymore.
• You're the only member of Your team to survive a mission and You hang Your head low in failure.
• When a pickup group asks for help with an AV, You ask what level is the AV, and how many in Your group, and the person replying tries to downplay the difficulty, but You want to hear just the opposite.
• Sappers take away Your endurance and Your toggles, and You realize how little real damage Malta do, and the toggle-dropping becomes just an annoyance.
• You suspect that You are never gonna be defeated in the arena, and might have to take a dive occasionally to prevent calls for nerfing.
• You go into a new zone and attack groups of +8 just to see what kind of damage they do.
• You're sad that there are only 4 badges for damage taken.
• You find Yourself embroiled in yet another "taunt" debate
• While Your team is debating the best way to attack the huge mob ahead, You get bored of the conversation & charge in, grab aggro, & yell, JUST KILL THE DAMN !@#$%'s!!
• You spend most of the time during the fight just chatting to the other players.
• The other players ask if You ever get hit for any damage and You answer sure look at the 3s and 4s over my head.
• One of the players asks if Your HP bar is working, since it never moves.
• You find Yourself surrounded by strangely dressed people, who keep trying to hit You with sharp pointy things.
• You find Yourself complaining due to the fact that the fire tank hogs all the aggro and You don’t have anyone standing around You to play with.
• You see purple over the mobs and think, wow good xp.
• You stand in the middle of the street during a train mish and look around for the boss, while 10 or 12 mobs attack you.
• You wonder what's so special about a boss that everyone has to mention When they're in spawn.
• You lead mobs into the Caltrops Your Blaster threw in front of himself, wondering why his aim is so bad.
• You know every spawn point in Crey's Folly, Brickstown, and PI
• You say to Your blaster teammate “You only have how many hit points?"
• You are sick of discovering the meaning of life due to the spare time You have in the middle of mobs
• You have ever played a blaster. (lol the reason I started a tank)
• Enemies look like xp and influence instead of actual bad guys
• The team says they should find a healer before going into missions and You go "Why?"
• You yell, "RUN!" and everyone thinks you're just joking. There's nothing you'd run from, after all.
• No matter what You are playing When a teammate gets in trouble You try to dive in and save them.
• When you're going at a couple +5's, You set Taunt to auto (just so no one wanders off) and You order a pizza online.
• The only things that makes Your hp move are psy arch-villains, but that's why there are healing powers in the primaries
• You don't see the threat... ever.
• When soloing You see a random Character's health drop and immediately rush in to take the aggro... no matter the level.
• If Your idea of good tactics is saving the minions for last.
• You start making forays into Brickstown at level 26, just to see if You can feel squishy again
• You go to monster island at 40 for two reasons 1 to see if they can kill You because few things can 2 You want the last debt badge
• You go to monkey island at 38 just so You can say You killed something +12 to you
• *IF* You die to an AV, the rest of Your team dies 3 seconds later.
• AV does an AoE attack, and everyone else notices but you.
• You jump for joy When a Kinetics/Rad defender joins the team. "OOhhh! Scrapper Time!"
• You don't ask to be SK'd because You can handle those +5 mobs.
• You finally get an attack that makes You feel like a hero!
• If You are running through a mish pulling 30 or more mobs behind You When You notice Your team dropping and You actually take damage, only to find an AV snuck in
• Your Supergroup members take screenshots of the rare occasions that Your health bar is less than half.
• Supergroup members REALLY take screenshots When You actually die, like it was Halley’s Comet. A once in a lifetime thing.
• After entering a door mission You run out to grab a few mobs, and after You get back to the group and they finish polishing off Your pull the mission is complete.
• You finally get to level 44 and You run all the way to the nearest trainer and You finally get that nifty range attack from Your epic pool.... And You still cream Your enemy right in the face with it, point blank.
• When someone yells "Watch out for his Nova!" and the AV fires it off and 3 or 4 people drop dead, and Your health bar didn't move so much as a tick...
• You plant Yourself in front of an AV, put auto taunt on, and then carry on conversation with Your Supergroup, various friends, and chime in on 3 different chat channels at the same time...
• You love tanking a little too much
• Regardless of what anyone says, regardless of any speculation, and discarding any evidence to the contrary, You know deep in Your heart that NO ONE will be able to beat a team of 8 Tanks in PvP.
• You forgot You set the difficulty to Invincible, only notice When You do Your mish's everyone complains it is to hard.
• You actually leave it set to invincible, cuz You like hearing, "OMG! <Bleep!>" on team chat.
• While heading into Your employee evaluation, You turn to one of Your colleagues and say "Okay, I'll move in and taunt. Once I've got aggro, You start blasting away!"
• You jump in front of pedestrians attempting to cross an intersection and make the 'taunt' gesture at passing cars.
• You complain that the enemies are 2 easy, meanwhile the rest of Your team is at the hospital
• You receive a /t from a stranger while You are pummeling a MOB of Villains "Hi are ya busy? My team and I could use a hand if You are interested."
• You decide to help a friend and there mission has all blues and greens to You and while standing in a group You get so upset the one time You get hit You search through the log to find exactly the enemy that did it to You and pummel them into the ground
• The difference between Your "a couple of enemies" and a squishies "a couple of enemies" usually involved You tacking a zero on the end of the number
• You get Your first knives of Artemis mission and at finding out they lay down Caltrops You wonder how many patches it would actually take to kill you. Then You turn on hover and herd the entire mission, naturally set on invincible, to one point turn off hover and proceed to stand there for a while wondering what the big deal is.
• You hear OMG.. all of the time
• You hear.. are You STUPID.. all of the time
• Your teammates are in the middle of a comment about pulling You dive into the middle of the mob in question taunting and clicking all of Your attacks
• You used the snowball repeatedly during long fights to tease the minions and freak out Your teammates
• You have a keybind that says "ITS MONKEY SPANKING TIME"
• You go out buy a pack of skittles and only eat the blue ones and throw everything else to Your friends or strangers.
• You only realize that "That annoying hurricane power" has a knock down component When teamed with someone else on a Banished Pantheon mission
• You pad Your invincible missions to 8 just so You can have decent sized mobs.
• Even though You can't hurt Infernal, You are still called regularly to clear the room, the portal and dance (taunt) with him to keep him from one-shotting the team members.
• You've ever told a Epic story of battle that includes the line "And that's When everyone else died and then I..."
• Your motto at low levels is "Real men/women don't dodge bullets, Real men/women take bullets."
• You've ever wished You could be hit by cars.
• You're parents never let You have a dog, so You spend a lot of free time in Striga Island teaching Warwolves to sit, beg, roll over, and lie down.
• Your boss walks into Your office just after you've jumped into the middle of a mob in Boomtown. You turn off Your monitor, have a ten-minute discussion with him, and after he leaves You turn on Your monitor to find Your character standing in the middle of a circle of defeated enemies.
• You manage Your Enhancements in the middle of battle.
• When you've been trying all day to get a few lengths ahead of Your 8 man team while being followed by 40+ mobs who are directly behind You just so You can face the boss and say the line "OH yea! You and want army?!?" while Your whole team looks on.
• Everyone one Your team starts yelling at You to stop pulling so many mobs because you’re causing too much lag!
• You and Your friendly fire tanker think its fun to stand 60ft apart and alternately taunt a mobs between each other and see how long You can keep it up before the mobs actually get a chance to attack...
• You think the best way to damage mobs is to taunt them on top of the highest building in town and then leap off, because other wise it just takes to long to arrest them.
• You see controllers on the team and think "crap" because You know if the mobs are all held Your invincibility won't work.
• Your street hunting and after arresting all the minions and Lt's You just move on the next group letting the bosses follow you, because You know it just takes way to long to arrest the bosses, and they can't hurt You anyways.
• You have been leading the group all night but not really trying that hard When two of Your blaster accidentally pull multiply groups so You just start taunting everything and end up having 100+ mobs around You and Your still taking no damage, and the rest of the team just stops what their doing so they can watch You work, and You say "what? Do I have something on my face?"
• You drag one Hercules class titan across an entire mission to another Hercules class titan just so You can see the two transform
• You try to solo the psychic clockwork king... not because You think You will succeed but just to prove a point.
• You see a team mate drop in battle and You say to Yourself Squishy
• You've ever turned Your nose up at a group of 3 +3 bosses because they weren't Paragon Protectors.
• You leave Your desk (while in the middle of a +2 mob) for a bio, grab a soda, and a snack, and return. (while the rest of Your team is licking wounds, coming back from the hospital, or waiting for endurance to come up to fight again) Sit down, take a bite, a sip, and then finish the mob.
• You SK up to help someone clear out an outdoor map portal corps mission, and happily claim a mob to beat up alone, since the other three, higher level tanks are breezing through and You can't get a hit in. After beating on said mob for a while, completely undamaged, You look over and see one of the level 50 tanks reading a newspaper while watching you, and the level 49 controller checking her PDA.  You took the hint and let them clear out the mob in a matter of seconds. *sigh* Someday, someday.
• Your health bar turns red and You start thinking You could really use a soda right now, and then You go get one
• You've ever drug 7 others with you, (regardless of their levels) told them to wait inside the door, just so Your mish would seem a bit challenging.
• You've ever tried to get locked in the trap room during the Hess TF!
• You start a speech on how each person in Your team should be fighting while surrounded by 30 purple enemies.
• You actually tell the rest of the team who died earlier while You were AFK to "take there time getting back, You will wait" while 7 bosses, 17 Lieutenants, and a room full of minions are taking shots at you...
• If You left in the middle of fighting an Arch Villain to help Your best friend rotate the tires on his car, then came back and win the fight shortly there after.
• You take more damage from Your own Energy Transfer than from the AV You are fighting.
• When You discover you've been doing most of the stuff here pre-level 32 and wonder if You oughtn't beg the Devs to make a Radiation Emission Tanker primary
• You find dying to be a "refreshing change of pace
• You wonder just how deep in the purple You have to go to actually need to turn on Your unstoppable.
• If You are in a 3 person pickup team in FF at level 30 and the 'healer' complains to You that they have no use for their 'heal other' while you're there.
• You're so used to not looking at Your HP bar, that You forget You even have one until You see a defender healing someone and You ask what the green #s mean
• You start to panic if Your HP bar drops below full.
• Your HP bar drops into the red because You don't remember what to do to fix it. "Do I click the green thing or the red thing? Red means stop, green means go. I want my HP Bar to stop glowing red, but then I also want my HP bar to go back up. Yellow means slowdown, maybe I'll just use that one."
• Fighting an Arch-Villain puts a twinkle in Your eye, while the other AT's are seriously thinking bugging out of the mission.
• You regularly have to pay repairs to the roof of Yours and neighbors apartments for all the damage done When leaping. (Homage to the Tick)
• You watch a Godzilla or other Giant Monster movie and think... "I could solo him"..
• You wonder if that Superman glasses trick works, and while still in costume put some on, and a random citizen walks by .. " Hi Clark."
• You never needed Your Supergroup's defenders... ever.... maybe just to keep You company... or make You a burrito
• Scrappers don’t like to invite You to a mission because You make them look too squishy.
• If You find the time to wisecrack AND spellcheck Your jokes as You go...
• Just to be nice, You take the time to spellcheck Your replies.
• You get bored and decide to start soloing Your missions on Invincible without Your toggles running just to see if You can... and still don't die even When taking on a +2 boss with a little strategy
• You think I am never going to get any of the damage taken badges at this rate. Maybe I will let down some defense and drop to a yellow health a few times to get the badge.
• Your ambushes are a lower level than the villains You are currently fighting.
• You tab through mobs looking for purples and You are solo.
• You have any item that causes You damage and You purposely turn it on just so You can speed up the 'damage taken' badges.
• If You get disappointed When You can't find enough purple mobs even When You set to invincible on the slider...
• You make another character (scrapper) just to see what pain feels like….
• Your level 35 scrapper has the same number of damage badges (and is at the same point to the next one) as Your level 50 Tank
• You can't wait to get Your Peacebringer to 20 so You can start tanking again.
• Back in the old days a Circle of Thorns mage ran up to You and exploded while You were surrounded by Your teammates. "Ha! What a stupid attack, huh guys? Guys?"
• You get bored decide to herd the map in a knives of Artemis mission just to see how many You can kill at once with KO blow... yes I was really bored.
• At level 48 You get upset because You can't find any mobs of high enough level to really scare you.
• After pulling a room full of baddies while being sk’d up from level 26 to level 34, Your SK runs out of range and the only thing You notice is it is harder to hit the purples around you.
• You go through an entire level in the 40s without using a heal inspiration.
• The party having aggroed 4 mobs of +3s/+4s on a portal mission due to their pets have been wiped out and return from hospital to find You still going at two and a bit of the same mobs.
• You did not know CoT mages exploded, just though it was a bugged animation
• You are a Tanker if You are disappointed When You find out that the mission difficulty slider doesn't go up to 11.
• You are level 46 inv/EM tank and in the crash sight, You are helping a level 42 blaster get some xp by attacking groups of level 50 Rikti (he is scouting more groups for you). You get a /tell from another group asking You to please leave a couple of groups for them.
• While working on getting a new badge You come up with a new game "How High can ya toss the Villain?"
• You tell everyone to run except You know that you’re not...
• You set Your missions to invincible because You think the bosses look cooler.
• You have proclaimed Yourself the pied piper of Perez park
• You know 2 colors, purple and boring
• Newbies accuse You of hacking because You only take 10% damage
• Seeing the "Run!" emote just makes You smile.
• You start a thread titled “You might be a tank if..."

 

On Fire Tanks…

You might be a Fire Tank if…   

• You've ever taken a wrong turn on a map, lost contact with Your team, then stumbled into a big mob. You do what any prudent, careful hero would do: You let out a whoop and jump 'em! As they wither in Your flames, Your teammates notice Your health drop (a little) and Your endurance drop (a little) and ask, “You okay?" and "need help?" You reply, "no, I got it...I'll catch up."
• Your pulse quickens and a grin creeps across Your face When You see a mob of villains all clustered together...with a nice hole right in the center You know You can jump into.
• In an effort to not be bored during a mission, You herd a room, set Your PBAoE attack to auto-fire, and go read a book for 30 minutes.
• You fight for hours before realizing You haven't targeted a single mob
• You do the costume mission then skip the creating the "new look"
• You have to purposely shut off all Your defenses to let the mobs kill You just so You can see what Your level 32 power can do.
• You know what the Level 32 power is.
• You turn down particle effects in order to see what Your fighting
• You decide not to use Your self-heal power because You want the enemy to feel like maybe they stand a chance.
• You find Yourself burning mobs in Boomtown to Power Level blasters
• You go play a warrior on WoW (the supposed tank of that game) and get mad When You realize You can’t kill more than 1-2 mobs at a time.
• You see a group of yellows and whites, and think, "cool I can refill my endurance, and do a little inspiration shopping"
• New costume slots mean nothing to You as You haven't seen Your costume in 20 levels, anyway
• You take every opportunity You get to do the Infernal mission, because You secretly hope that if You kill him enough You can move into his pad.
• You turn off all Your toggles so You can see rise of the phoenix once in a while.
• Your entire tanking strategy is Taunt, Burn, Taunt, Burn.
• You forget that You can still attack and do things while You are waiting to drop another burn patch.
• You like draining endurance because it gives You a chance to use Consume again.
• You do more damage with the powers in Your Primary Power set than with Your secondary.
• You are convinced that if You Burn long enough, you'll be able to start a forest fire in Perez.
• You are prevented from using a gas barbecue by Your family because You try way too hard to "burn" the food.
• After any argument, You find Yourself extremely tired and have to lie down for at least 10 seconds worth of inactivity.
• Your chief concerns in life include paying bills, getting laid, keeping Your job..............and ensuring that all of Your resistances are completely capped.
• When eating hot wings You always choose the hottest wings possible because you're 80% fire resistant.
• You’ve ever played the game "How many villains can I fit in the box" game.
• You only remember that it's the giant monsters that scale, not monsters, a couple of minutes after You started to try and solo the level 50 DE monster with Your 39 Fire tank. You then zoom out, and laugh When You see burn doing just 1 or 2 points of damage per patch.
• You start to think that all those flame-throwers (Warhulks, etc.) are actually *good* for You and enjoy seeing more than one used on You at a time The behemoths keep calling You son…
• You get bored in a fight You allow Your health to fall all the way down just so You can blow the bad guys up with Rise of the Phoenix
• You pop ROTP and keep tanking... while everyone goes oooo ahhh, look at the pretty birdie
• You are surrounded by foes from herding, You click Taunt and it won't activate, so You click it again and again and again until You realize nothing in the piles around You is left alive.
• You run Your Supergroup by chatting in-between burn drops.
• You love fighting to the edge of being out of End and Toggle Dropping only to Consume back to full End and being back in the action again.
• You've ever been attacked by a villain while talking to a contact and decide that, since Your health bar isn't moving, you'll take care of him When you're done talking. When You are finally done, You close the dialog window to find the villain is purple and half dead thanks to Blazing Aura.
• People complain that burn lags their machine due to all the damage floaties
• You're talking with Your other fire tank friend When You get hit with an ambush, You both just hit burn and continue on with 'as I was saying"
• While fighting ShadowHunter, the phone rings, You set BURN to autofire and answer the phone, only to come back and Your teammate ask, dude, why are You still burning...
• You had an 8 man team's worth of ambush hit You while You were leveling.. and You didn’t know until You finished and saw the bodies laying around.
• You think that jumping into dumpsters is pretty darn cool.
• You see an Invulnerable Tanker in the middle of a big mob of purples, his Health bar at full his blue bar barely showing. The bad guys are pounding pointlessly away at him, but they all have at least half health themselves. You say, "Oh, man...are You still fighting those guys?!?"  

 

On Invulnerable Tanks…

You might be an Invulnerable Tank if…   

• You think Fire Tankers seem too squishy to be called tankers.
• The bigger the pack of bad guys, the more secure You feel.
• You don't know where to look to see how much health You have left.
• The only time You even glance at Your health bar is When You check Your endurance.
• You end up out of SK range When surrounded by a group of wolves’ 20 levels higher than You and it takes You a moment to notice that Your health is slowly dropping.
• You feel more comfortable SURROUNDED by the enemy.
• Your Idea of fun is trying to herd a group of monsters from Monster Island in PI to Portal Corp. (guilty).
• you've ever had to remind Your team-mates that You are better off with more foes around you, so stop with the (RoF/Freezing Rain/Ice Patch)
• You get bored in invincible missions because the bad guys won't die fast enough
• You see a purple ambush that somebody left behind in Your lower level zone. You jump in, and think, "These guys are awfully hard to hit." You check and see that they are +9 to you.
• You know the villain is on the other side of that wall, and You think to Yourself “Hey I am an Invulnerable Tank damn it! I should be able to go right through this wall.” Then When the mish is over You start a thread titled “Walls need to be nerfed”
• You yell "HEART ATTACK!" right When Unstoppable crashes and Your defender actually has one.
• The only thought You have upon encountering a large group of +6 and +7 minions in PI is ... 'I wonder if I have enough time to take these out'.
• You’re taking damage from two deep purples so Your start taunting in as many deep purples as You can so that You will stop taking damage!  

 

On Stone Tanks…

You might be a Stone Tank if…   

• When the macro You use to activate Your new Rock armor says: Go-Go Gadget Shoulder pads!
• You might be changing Your hero name to Justifier and re-rolling a stone tank and Power Leveling him to 32 just so You can get Granite armor and stand around in Atlas Park while screaming:  “You will serve the Hamidon!”
• You've ever snuck up behind some level 20-somethings dancing under Atlas, put on granite armor and...
• /l For the Hamidon!
• /em roar
• You solo for a while, then switch back to Your Inv and notice how often You get hit.
• You like Rooted's -Speed because it's a marked improvement over Unyielding Stance.
• You can finally hear glowies in door missions! Yay!
• A DE boulder keeps calling You son during a fight.  

 

On Ice Tanks…

You might be an Ice Tank if…

• Try as You might You can’t find another Ice tank on Your server.
• You notice Your health bar actually dropping and You realize You forgot to press "Energy Absorption"
• You see a sapper and said "sweet a use for my hold"
• You give into temptation and run around the grocery store hitting shoppers in the head, seeing how many You can herd into the Frozen Food section, because there you'll have the advantage.  

 

On Redneck Tanks…   

You might be a Redneck Tank if…   

• You have a camouflaged cape
• You say "YA'LL VILLAINS GANNA GIT MONKEY STOMPED"
• You think the council/5th column are Illinois nazi's
• You tank best When tanked.
• Zones like rikti crash site is Your favorite just because they have tanks driving around.
• You've ever been driving along, and seen a sign saying: "Bridge freezes before roadway" and thought, "That might be a good place to hide a 6-pack”  

 

On Respec Trials…   

• You gather Your Supergroup together for a Respec, and they all say to You “You first!"
• You're the only player who hasn't died once throughout an entire Respec Trial.
• You've ever complained about a level 26/27 Respec being too easy When you're level 24.
• You seriously consider soloing the Respec trial.
• The little stream of red numbers over Your head in the Reactor Room is more puzzling than worrisome
• You wonder who keeps hitting You for DoT 1 damage, even though the room is clear, and wonder "What are these bubbles everyone is so worried about?"....
• You do the first three waves in the reactor without a bubble till someone reminds you, then You go ahead and finish without it.
• You're doing the Respec TF and someone says "I will snipe the bomb" and while the long animation of this power is being executed, You walk into it.
• Your actually surprised it did some damage to you.
• Your 6 member group (5 34s, 1 36) go into the first mission of Respec and it is full of level 40 Freakshows. (group size + mission difficulty) And the rest of the team won't let You try it.
• You mentally sigh When the TF group wants to Stealth past the hallway in the TV trial because You have to turn off Invincibility…
• You forget to turn invincibility back on after aforementioned stealthing and proceed to charge into the reactor room…
• You don't realize Invincibility is off until you've won the Respec trial and are on you're way out of TV WITHOUT Your 'Usual Escort' to the zone.
• You’re doing a Respec miss and someone yells" our healer is down" and You reply" We had a healer?"
• You wonder why everyone is always complaining about the exploding barrels.
• Your on one of the Terra Volta taskforces, you’re the only one left alive and solo the last group, but cant kill the last guy because all Your team mates went to the hospital and You want them to get the reward too.
• A Supergroup mate accidentally gimped himself and You wanted to save him the shame of dying on the trial
• You hate the idea of good people dying on the last wave because they didn't have a tank to handle all 4 groups
• You're just greedy and want to see how many freaks You can take at once
• During the level 34 Respec someone aggro's 4 sets of Freaks, all but You and the other tank are taking dirt naps. The team has enough time to go to the hospital and back to help mop up.
• While on the Task Force You think “Hey I can solo this thing.”
• You do try to solo the task force. Although just setting it up is the pain.
• You successfully solo the Terra Volta reactor mission.
• Your in the Respec trail fighting purple mobs in the hallways leading to the reactor room and You use Teleport Foe to port the bombs to you, because its the only way You can kill the freak tankers!
• You get annoyed in the reactor room because the level 36 Inv/Axe tank on the team keeps pulling the aggro off of you.
• You go on a Respec trial on a team with 2 other tanks, a scrapper, a controller & a blaster, & the blaster quits 5 minutes in figuring we would all be slaughtered, & then You send him a /tell 65 minutes later telling him how easy & fun the Respec was...  

 

On Alternates…   

• Your alt Squishy is half way to 10 million damage badge at level 30 (one day I’ll learn the difference between my main and alts)
• You jump into a group of TF monsters first and die, inexplicably wondering why, then realize you're slumming as Your defender.
• You always forget how fragile Your blaster alt is.
• You seek out certain enemies to exact revenge for their kills on Your alts
• You log in with one of Your alts and completely ignore the red floaties rising over Your head and then are totally surprised When You fall face first into the pavement in a couple of seconds (happens to me ALL the time).
• You wouldn't think of building Your squishy alts without Tough and Weave. The best offense is a good defense, after all.
• Dust builds up on Your neglected squishy alts.
• Whenever You run Your ALT AT’s, you're always shocked at the different status effects that foes apparently have
• The whole time You are running Your ALT, You keep saying to Yourself, "now only if I had my tank"
• You ever died street sweeping in Perez with Your level 8 scrapper, and then immediately logged off and switched to Your level 39 tank to get revenge on the Bone Daddy that burned You and every Skull in that zone
• You know You SHOULD work on leveling Your alts, but this is too much fun.
• When playing Your scrapper alt, You run headfirst into the first group of purples You see and take a dirt nap.
• You run around on all Your alts, including low level tanks, and can't help but think how squishy they are.
• You are hunting Vahz in Faultline with 2 others and You run into a group of 10 yellows and orange. You take out 2 before You face plant, then remember You are playing Your DM/SR scrapper.
• You design Your alts to be able to tank no matter what AT they are.
• You ever died fighting Tsoo with Your level 24 blaster, and immediately switched over to get revenge with Your level 18 Tanker
• You jump into battle and keep face planting instantly... and after a dozen dirt naps You realize.... I’m on my blaster not my tank....
• Your blaster has more melee attacks then Your tank
• People keep yelling at You When Your playing for defender for getting too close to combat and [censored], take dmg!!!
• You play a scrapper and go "ewwww, this guys pretty squishy"  

 

On Inspirations…   

• You almost never need to use Heal inspirations, and wonder why You even bother to keep them.
• Your tray only has endurance and damage inspirations.
• You eat health inspirations just to get them out of Your tray, When at full health.
• You eat all the small inspirations to get rid of them, but save the big ones to give to team members.
• Somewhere in Your 40's You realize You only carry awakens to give to others.
• You hate awakens and delete them as soon as You get them.
• You wonder why You carry awakens.
• Your actually offended When You get and get an awaken.
• Your inspiration tray is full of nothing but Catch a Breaths and You delete anything else as soon as it hits.
• When You curse every time You get a green instead of a blue inspiration and find creative ways to clear the greens out, like diving into a mob with all toggles off.
• You look at Your inspiration tray and exclaim:" Hey! How did a rez get in here!?" and then promptly give it away/delete it in disgust.
• You haven't used an inspiration since level 18.
• You stopped buying respites at level 10.
• You just remove the inspiration window from Your screen for over 10 levels.
• You hand out all types of inspirations like they are sweeties (especially respites).
• You remind Your teammates to use their inspirations so You can keep feeding Yours to them.
• due to an unfortunate accident with an AOE on an AV, you've ever turned Your back on the AV and started to pull and kill minions in the hopes of getting enough rez inspirations to get the rest of the team up.
• You give away more Inspirations than You use ( by about 20:1).
• You get an awaken and wonder what its for  

 

On Tank Smashers…   

• You take personal offense at mobs named Tank Smasher, and kill them no matter what the level.
• You’re the only person You know who actually likes fighting Tank Smashers. "Cause they rez for double the xp n stuff."
• One of Your teammates says that there is a Tank Smasher in the room up ahead and the first thing to go through Your mind is "they got bartenders in here now?"
• You think Tank Smashers were what the name implied. After tanking about 200+ You head the boards and ask to make em stronger if you’re in the mish.
• You look at a bottle of vodka and think "Now THIS is a Tank Smasher"
• You get Your Tank Smasher badge in 10 minutes messing around in Crey's Folly.  

 

On Debt…   

• You know You have died 5 times in 36 levels but can only remember the first.....and the last time.
• You’re not sure where Your debt bar is located.
• You hear squishies talking about how much debt they have and wonder what kind of contest “debt” is, and why they didn’t invite You to join in.
• You make it through Your 20’s and 30’s without accumulating debt.
• You actually die in a mish and notice that Your only getting half the xp You usually get and wonder why.
• Debt has to be explained to You more than once and you’re still incredulous about the whole thing. You’re sure they’re pulling Your leg. Common You only get half the xp? No really?
• You exempt down to 34 to do the Respec trial and the team leader says, "I hope You 2 exempts have lots of debt to wipe out." and You reply, "What’s debt?"
• You ask Your teammates how much debt You get for being defeated at Your level, knowing that if You didn't You would never know.
• You just realized… There’s a debt cap? Really, come on You are joking right?
• You forgot what color debt is.  No really… debt turns Your experience bar funny colors?
• You intentionally turn off all Your defenses repeatedly and charge the Hamidon because You know there's no other way you're going to get the debt badges and You decide You need them for completeness.
• Your friends can't figure out how You level so fast and You tell them that Debt will cut Your leveling in half...and they don't understand what You mean…
• You are ashamed to admit that while You are well on the way to the 4th damage badge, You already have the first debt badge.
• You have debt badges - not because of being killed but committing suicide just so others can stay up with you.  

 

On herding…   

• You wonder why (and are peeved that) the mobs can jump 2 stories high, but can't seem to keep up with You When you're practically walking down the street.
• You are called to herd/tank/AV-missions while You are already in an instanced mission herding/tanking.
• You get annoyed at various crowd control effects that prevent the mobs from gather tight around you.
• You respond to a pick-up request to tank/herd and have to turn down 2 other requests as You are traveling to the first request.
• Your favorite pastime is to herd a bunch of Council just to stand there and take pictures as they unload on You with Rocket Launchers and Gattling Guns
• You've lost track of Yourself AGAIN while herding several groups up.
• You see the type word "herd" more than once or twice a day
• When You herd a room of whites, 40 enemies attacking you, a player says "just [censored]! Wow!” and You think: “What? These are whites”
• You find Yourself at the mall on a weekend, seeing the packed shoppers, and think to Yourself, "Huh, I could herd them".
• When the even level damage dealers complain about not being able to hit anything in the groups You herd.
• When the last 20 tells for invites were... Can You herd?
• You herd foes just so it looks like You have friends
• You ever been on a team of eight and herd an entire mission and think to Yourself "oh no!" When You see one minion attacking the other seven.
• Final room of the Eden trial, and all You can think of is, "hmm herding."
• You get 50 tells a night asking You to herd or PL…
• After having herded a large group You see Your teammates health bars drop because of a patrol behind them. You type, "Baddies behind you, take them I got this..." You then scroll out to see 30 +5 baddies around You and all You think is "hmmm... this may take a while."
• You join a team, walk in the door type "herding", get a "herding?" back; shortly followed by "oh @#$%...." and then "wow"
• You go and herd a ton of Warwolves and vampyri not to nova them, but because You want to re-create the CastleVania game of old.
• Your in a wolf herding mission with 200+ deep purple mobs and Your team tells You to stop 20ft from the dumpster and wait until the blaster has time to place all of his trip mines.
• Your teammates stand behind You chatting to each other randomly telling You that a runner got away - and nothing else.
• You race to missions so You can get ALL of the bad guys to the front door before the rest of Your team can show up and get in the way of Your herding
• You beg Your team to let You try and herd the kraken
• You herd/stack up jaegers because they resemble popcorn When they die…
• You herd carnies because “You love a parade"
• You try to herd EVERY villain in a mission, just to make the screenshot at the end look more impressive.
• You secretly herd 5 or 6 jaegers in the 50+ praetorian mob, just to spice things up for squishies… (not that I have ever done that)
• You herd half of Eden just cuz a friend wanted to take a screenie
• You have ever gotten stuck by Your herd.
• After You have herded up the max number of freaks in the back of Crey’s, You sweep Your mouse across them and go "ooh, pretty colors!"
• You can't decide whether herding is more art or science.
• You pull the DE herd into a multi-buff area, just to see how long it takes
• You go back to get the *one* mob that slipped away from Your herd numbering in the hundreds.
• You herd Knives of Artemis because You miss the old Unyielding Stance.
• You hear a bunch of comments from Your teammates on TeamSpeak about the huge mob You have herded together & how there are too many to handle!! & The mob is about 1/2 the size of what You typically pull When You solo.
• You swear everything in the game can be herded
• You try to herd everything in the game
• You do herd everything in the game  

 

On Taunt…  

• You find Yourself using Taunt while soloing, and wonder "huh, why did I do that?"
• You think trying to "single pull" is stupid; the more the merrier! Pull with Taunt and bring 'em all!
• You see a traffic light go from green to yellow to red at an intersection and the thought crosses Your mind that You should probably target the light and Taunt.
• You're so used to the concept You should be taking all the attacks, that When You jump into a free for all in the arena, You taunt everyone...  ...and don't think it's weird until someone asks You why you're taunting in a free for all?
• You taunt something and just let it hit You so You can watch Your guy tossing his axe back and forth.
• You forget taunt is on auto.
• You taunt more than Your teammates attack.
• You have posted both on the "every tanker should take taunt" side on a taunt thread AND the "No tankers don't need taunt" side on the same thread.
• You think Taunt is Your best ranged attack!
• Taunt is Your ONLY ranged attack since You ran out of snowballs.
• You think of new and interesting taunts constantly.
• Your wife belches after drinking a soda quickly, and You think " Nice taunt!"...then a half-second later think "Hey, I'm holding aggro, what the f*%k does she think she's doing!"

 

Amateurs ...  😫

[Warboss]

You might be a Tanker if you hijack threads... speaking of which, we haven't had a good discussion about grilling/BBQ in a long time!

[Warboss]

Thanks for posting those, I used to love reading the "you might be a Tanker if..." threads. Great fun seeing them again.

[Jack Power]

You might be a Tanker if you leave a hole in your build on purpose, just to keep the game interesting.

 

//Jack

[Marshal_General]

I did the afk for a bio break while tanking Paladin back on live.

 

A friend playing a claws/SR scrapper did say I needed to be nerfed when I out dps'd him. This was prior to the EM nerf.