Life Lessons From Nerddom

[ThaOGDreamWeaver]

Dear legion of the great Tribe of Nerd. Friends. Comrades. Geeks of all shades, species and fetish.

 

This isn't necessarily for A Thing, though it might wind up being one.

 

What lessons have you learned from your fandoms that you've then applied in life?

 

Just started thinking about this because life has been rough lately, both generally for all of us and specifically in mine, but you don't need to hear that. But I have been practicing clearing my head and staying calm will all around is chaos.

 

And have discovered that of all the help tapes, podcasts, books, spells or whatever, the one that works the best... is the Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear. It's a short, simple mantra, and the idea is to essentially "voice roll" yourself: slow your heartbeat, calm your mind, take focus away from the emotional response to a logical one (which usually leads to better outcomes.)

 

Here's an example from Bethany Black. You don't have to do it quite this performatively, but try matching the rhythm.

Then again, slower.

Then again. Slower.

 

So: what have you taken from the things you've read / seen that you went on to apply realtime?

[Six-Six]

I've picked up a similar one from decades ago, from the original Star Wars.

Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering.

This has helped me most of my younger life whenever I encountered "an angry one" -- anything from a stranger, a client, a friend, spouse, parent or child. Instead of confronting their animosity head on, I would instead (usually) try to figure out what it is they're afraid of. And when I've identified and isolated the particular thing they fear, I can then work on alleviating or exacerbating it depending on the what would be most beneficial in a given circumstance.

These days, however, I tend to care less and just ignore most of them.

[InvaderStych]

5 hours ago, ThaOGDreamWeaver said:

What lessons have you learned from your fandoms that you've then applied in life?

 

Applied?  Not nearly as many as I would have liked.  Attempted/Attempting to apply?  Hmm.  I suppose as these things should be considered a "practice" rather than a goal I should probably cut myself some slack here.

 

Dozens, so many excellent references, quotes, philosophies ... This should be a good thread indeed, thanks for starting it.  I too could use the reminders right now.

 

5 hours ago, ThaOGDreamWeaver said:

Just started thinking about this because life has been rough lately, both generally for all of us and specifically in mine, but you don't need to hear that. But I have been practicing clearing my head and staying calm will all around is chaos.

 

🫂

 

5 hours ago, ThaOGDreamWeaver said:

So: what have you taken from the things you've read / seen that you went on to apply realtime?

 

They come from the strangest places sometimes.  One would not think of Sterling Archer as font of human wisdom, and yet much like Homer Simpson he drops the occasional gem of a truth-bomb:

 

 

Oh man do I ever clog my brain sometimes constantly. Conflict rehearsal, self-rejection, decision paralysis; a former lady-friend called it my "What-If Monster."  These thoughts were a constant hindrance during my freelance career and remain so in my current work search.  "What if they offer me this job, but then the one I really want that I applied to last week wants me to interview?" and other such pointless, hypothetical maybe-what-if bullshit. 😄

 

 

[Mopery]

Don't Panic.

[Coin]

We have a family motto now. 

 

Never give up. Never surrender!

 

It runs right through our family to not give up on the things that are important to you and not allow other people to drag you down.

 

I'm sure you know where it's from. 😉

 

[ThaOGDreamWeaver]

2 hours ago, Coin said:

I'm sure you know where it's from. 😉

By Grabthar's Hammer and the Sons of Warvan, yes.

Ours is the old Latin version: Noli Sinere Spurios Te Opprimere*, which later appeared on... British Coins. Neat.

 

Speaking of which, I've been thinking about this more and added another one. The mighty wizard Terry of Pratchett said:

 

Find the story, Granny Weatherwax always said. The world was full of story shapes. If you let them, they controlled you. But if you studied them, found out about them... you could use them, and change them.

 

Understanding that everyone is the hero of their own story in their heads (or, rarely, the villain) is a very handy way of looking at how you relate to people, what you can say and do to help them and/or change your minds in your favour: by using story beats, tropes and cues they recognise. Not overtly most of the time. It can even work on yourself. A little headology goes a long way...

 

_{*Don't let the b****rds grind you down.}

Edited September 14, 2022 by ThaOGDreamWeaver

[Coin]

39 minutes ago, ThaOGDreamWeaver said:

Speaking of which, I've been thinking about this more and added another one. The mighty wizard Terry of Pratchett said:

 

Find the story, Granny Weatherwax always said. The world was full of story shapes. If you let them, they controlled you. But if you studied them, found out about them... you could use them, and change them.

 

Understanding that everyone is the hero of their own story in their heads (or, rarely, the villain) is a very handy way of looking at how you relate to people, what you can say and do to help them and/or change your minds in your favour: by using story beats, tropes and cues they recognise. Not overtly most of the time. It can even work on yourself. A little headology goes a long way...

 

 

Heh, my all time favourite author, one of my all time favourite characters in one of my all time favourite books. 🙂

I adore everything that man wrote, so naturally, that appeals, as does this one from the same damn book!!

 

“Good and bad is tricky," she said. "I ain't too certain about where people stand. P'raps what matters is which way you face.”

 

GNU Sir Terry Pratchett.

Edited September 14, 2022 by Coin

[Techwright]

Late to the party, and I've an unusual angle.  I've long taken tips from Peter's Evil Overlord List, like my favorite:

 

Shooting is NOT too good for my ene....wait...that's not it, that's #4.

 

Hmmm...

 

Ah, #12!

 

One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

 

While I lack access to a five-year-old child (I keep telling my niece and nephew-in-law to hurry up), I do find the principle of taking a good hard look with a fresh perspective to be beneficial in both personal and professional life.

 

There's actually some other nuggets of wisdom hidden in the whimsical guide:

 

#17: When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.  AND

#61: If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.  (Be willing to take advice/counsel)

 

#20: Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.  (Never let yourself get too distracted)

 

#24: I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)  (A balanced self-assessment)

 

#27: I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.  (Never put everything in one basket. Always plan to have a something to fall back on.)

 

#32: I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.  (Think of the effects on the future before acting)

 

And...

#60: My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.  (As a computer tech, I really wish people would implement this in their own lives and on their company laptops.)

[Shred Monkey]

I sometimes find myself slipping down a slope of frustration and disappointment with the world in general... politically, socially, economically... I wonder if we (as in the whole human race) are heading in the right direction.  I look at reddit, YouTube, Twitter, and I ponder whether or not the internet was even a good idea.

 

The thing that brings me back and gives me hope?  It's the good communities.  Two of my favorite communities are the fans of Critical Role and Shirtaloon.   Both are both hugely nerd-centric communities that just couldn't have existed 20 years ago. 

 

I think Homecoming is another great community.  We may fight among ourselves about nerfs and farming etc...  But in the end, we're all really really happy to be here.