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Joking about the AI styles.


Thrythlind

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I love city of heroes, but the AI is very simple and I have to imagine certain scenes in the training of the villain groups:

"Now, this is important, if your mini-gun needs to cool down, take the chance to punch the hero. You're  enhanced 8 ft tall nazi super-soldiers, use that."

"All right, so if they're close enough, then I should punch them, got it, makes sense."

"Hey, that's specialized training you're not ready for. No, no... you should get in range to punch them while you're gun is cooling down."

"Okay... now... umm, say there's an godzilla girl roughly as tall as we are, surrounded in fire, and we just saw her melt a dozen 15 ft battle robots and five 10 ft werewolves?"

"Did I say something confusing? Shoot her, then, while the gun is cooling down, run up and punch her."

"Into the fire..."

"Yes. Into the fire, that's where she is, isn't it?"

"But won't I die?"

"Are you doubting the chem... I mean genetic modifications we've given you? Step forward and punch her for the column.... Now, you ranged lot... you stay put and keep shooting."

"Oh thank the Center... I mean, right sir, we keep shooting."

"And if the hero takes cover, take the shortest route possible towards them until you have line of effect."

"What if they're just... waiting just around the corner to gather us into a big clump and do an AoE alpha=strike?"

"Are you daring to say these foolish so-called heroes use tactics superior to our own?!"

"No sir!"

"Good... now, you... snipers. Just don't move and keep shooting. Never ever move."

"Right, don't move until the hero makes us run."

"When did I say that?! Don't move... if the hero comes at you keep shooting!"

"And if I'm thrown away by a super-strength or grave troller?"

"Then stand where they threw you and shoot. It's not rocket science. Now... Rabbits."

"Yes sir."

"Do one or two annoying things... then teleport away for 20 seconds."

"If I can't port?"

"Then fly, of course... run. Now, that's training done! Go defeat our foes!"

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19 hours ago, Lazarillo said:

This makes me think of the whole Nemesis version of the Peter Principle, where the more of his upper management removed from a group, the less incompetent the group becomes.

It's actually the middle managers who are dragging the group down.  Upper management and rank and file are good!

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2 hours ago, Snarky said:

You can eat an entire Longbow platoon and the group right next to them stand around chatting about Ms Libertys belt or something 

"Look -- the boss is getting his ass handed to him by a hero. Shouldn't we help him?"

"Didn't he write you up last week and give you two week's extra duty for having a spot on your uniform."

"You're right; screw him. He keeps bragging about the hero he defeated a couple of years ago; let him fight his own fight. Hey, I heard the galley has roast beef today. You hungry?"

"Yeah, let's get something to eat; that'll get us away from the hero, too. They never seem to find the mess hall."

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This reminds me of how I like to zoom down the street in zones where everyone's grey to me, and still occasionally stop to zap some of purse-snatchers.  It can be pretty funny seeing them fall over and contort while making threats and telling me what a big mistake I just made...

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Clave's Sure-Fire Secrets to Enjoying City Of Heroes
Don't bother with those farming chores...
Skip your homework on the Market...
Play any power sets that you want...
Because this game is easy.  Go have fun!

You'll be perfectly fine, promise! 

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