Aeroprism Posted May 23 Share Posted May 23 Most of us have been here, playing this game forever. We're so used to seeing the various enemy groups, we know them by heart. First Hellions and Skulls, then Clockwork and Lost, Family, Warriors, all the way to The Rikti and Praetorian. Now, I was doing my Nth Striga mission today when I had this funny (and by funny, I mean useless and pointless) idea of "What kind of question would a civilian be asked before being allowed to join this or that enemy group." The questions would of course be based on our own player perception of the enemy group. I'll start: So you want to be a SKY RAIDER How do you feel about fighting in pajamas with a bicycle seat on your head? Are you comfortable with the idea of being a Captain and a Lieutenant AT THE SAME TIME? Do you like Jetpacks? Do you feel like "Running in a completely random direction as soon as the fighting starts" is a winning strategy? Do you like the idea of being bossed by jumpbots that never actually do any jumping? Your turn! 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Player2 Posted May 23 Share Posted May 23 (edited) Devouring Earth wants to know: Do you want to be eaten? Can we eat you? How much nourishment do you think you can provide for our cause? You may be chosen for a higher purpose; if so, how do you feel about growing face tentacles? Are you willing to eat people for the cause? Edited May 23 by Player2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cranebump Posted May 23 Share Posted May 23 (edited) Hellion: Have you ever actually stolen a purse? If so, leadership over our entire organization is now yours! Edited May 24 by cranebump 2 3 1 I have done a TON of AE work, both long form and single arc. Just search the AE mish list for my sig @cranebump. For more information on my stories, head to the AE forum sub-heading and look for “Crane’s World.” Support your AE authors! We ARE the new content. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forager Posted May 24 Share Posted May 24 Vahzilok: NNNnnnggghhh? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WumpusRat Posted May 24 Share Posted May 24 "Welcome, recruits. The six of you have been specially chosen from several military services around the world to become part of the Malta Group. You were chosen due to your skill, intelligence, and overall competence, and your personal histories as of this moment have been wiped clean. You no longer exist. In front of you is the standard loadout for all Malta recruit members. You have body armor that is capable of withstanding directed energy attacks from superpowered beings, strong enough to stop up to fifty-caliber rounds, and tactical goggles that allow for full-spectrum vision even in the most adverse circumstances. Particularly useful against those superhumans who can bend light around themselves to become invisible. And this is your weapon, the Mark-4 Specialized Ability-Prevention rifle, or SAP. It is one of the key tools Malta uses to neutralize enemy superhumans. The fact that you are being issued these weapons is how much faith we have in you. Drills start at sixteen hundred. Dismissed." *several hours later* "So, how many of the sapper recruits made it back?" "None. As usual." "Maybe someday one of them will survive long enough to be promoted to Minion..." "Hah! Not likely." 2 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cranebump Posted May 24 Share Posted May 24 14 hours ago, Player2 said: Do you want to be eaten? You'd think this would turn folks away, but...no...:-) 1 1 I have done a TON of AE work, both long form and single arc. Just search the AE mish list for my sig @cranebump. For more information on my stories, head to the AE forum sub-heading and look for “Crane’s World.” Support your AE authors! We ARE the new content. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Player2 Posted May 24 Share Posted May 24 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Trouble Posted May 24 Share Posted May 24 Hssshssss. Sss Shsshss. Sssss Ssshs Shs! Hss Shsssss? Ssshsssshss Hssss sss Shssssssss? Ssssssshsss ssssshsss sssh? Sss Shshssssss shssssss hssss. Shsssshsss Stheno! 4 3 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frostbiter Posted May 24 Share Posted May 24 Skulls: "You've made it through initiation so you get to pick your weapon. Axe, sledgehammer, or knife." "Give me a gun!" "Well, ok." "Wait, this thing isn't loaded." "Oh, you can't really shoot capes. Best thing to do is run up and hit them with it." "...." 5 Torchbearer Discount Heroes SG: Frostbiter - Ice/Ice Blaster Throneblade - Broadsword/Dark Armor Brute Silver Mantra - Martial Arts/Electric Armor Scrapper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aeroprism Posted May 28 Author Share Posted May 28 On 5/23/2024 at 6:01 PM, cranebump said: Hellion: Have you ever actually stolen a purse? If so, leadership over our entire organization is now yours! I'm glad this topic for a few good responses but I'll admit, this one takes the cake, I choked on my coffee. A+ 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vic Raiden Posted May 28 Share Posted May 28 Here's what I got for Nemesis: Are you racist? If so, how much do you show that online? Are you into steampunk? Do you mind wearing a goofy GLORIOUS Prussian-inspired uniform? Are you smart enough to keep track of complex multi-layered gambits AND know how to operate an overly ornate gun? Are you okay with being potentially stuffed into a giant robot forever when you inevitably die for our lord's sake? Can you tell if I'm an automaton? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BjorJlen Posted May 30 Share Posted May 30 How about something completely different? The Giant Monster... Eochai..! "Ok Fir Bolg, I only have two questions for you." "What do you think about how the Great Pumpkin is portrayed in the Movie 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!" "You think he sucks and could have been represented better?" "Alright then, what do you think about a giant nearly naked fat man who wears chains to make him look bad named Jack?" "Oh wow, he's a wimp eh?" "Ok, your in!" "Now here, put this Pumpkin over your head like a helmet." "Good..." "Now we set it on fire... Wait, where are you going?" 😛 2 Please come and join us on Friday at 6pm Central Time for our Friday Fashion Costume Contest (see the link below). We all hope to see you, yes YOU, there... And if you also wish to join our happy group, the Celestial Warriors SG, please feel free to join our Discord (see link below), and/or contact GL herself (Global is @Laucianna), or any of us if we are on in fact... 🙂 Friday Fashion Costume Contest On Excelsior (6pm Central Time)... The Celestial Warriors Discord Channel... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glacier Peak Posted June 1 Share Posted June 1 Hilarious thread! 1 I lead weekly Indom Badge Runs / A newer giant monster guide by Glacier Peak / A tour of Pocket D easter eggs! / Arena All-Star Accolade Guide! Best Post Ever.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
megaericzero Posted June 1 Share Posted June 1 You find a worn slab of stone in Grendel's Gulch with etchings intentionally scratched into its surface: "GOLAPO OOG? Y / N" You get the feeling you should just put it back down... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
High_Beam Posted June 1 Share Posted June 1 Do you feel like enough isn't being done to recycle scrap metal in Paragon City? Do you want to create new jobs for contractors who repair small engines, HVAC and other mechanical equipment Do you feel art based on arc welding is the greatest form of art ever. Are you comfortable around random electrical discharges. Then the Clockwork Wants You! 1 Girls of Nukem High - Excelsior - Tempus Fabulous, Flattery, Jennifer Chilly, Betty Beatdown, Totally Cali, Two Gun Trixie Babes of War - Excelsior - Di Di Guns, Runeslinger, Munitions Mistress, Tideway, Hard Melody, Blue Aria Several alts and of course my original from live on Freedom, High Beam Prime (someone else has her non OG name) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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