Night of the Vampires (45783)

[StorytellingMonkey]

 

Something sinister is happening in the streets of Paragon City. After dark, a thick mist rolls in to obscure the streets and teenagers have gone missing. These don't seem to be normal gang related abductions.

 

 

Edited December 13, 2023 by StorytellingMonkey

[Kyksie]

I've mostly given up reviewing stuff, but I saw this sitting with no replies and couldn't resist. The player is greeted by Van Helsing, who tells the player that vampires have invaded Paragon, check it out pretty please? The player journeys to various locales and battles vampires, who are a custom group with varied powers, and are for some reason obsessed with Maemae van Whooters, a minor character form the Television arc.

 

On the plus side, there actually is a plot and it actually makes sense, the custom mobs are well done and not too hard, and there are no time wasters. On the downside, the writing isn't great, it's lacking in details (i.e. blank interact bars) and there are a gazillion spelling errors.

 

EDIT: also, one mission has several EBs who are set to flee, making them almost impossible to defeat, which I found kinda annoying.

 

Edited January 1 by Kyksie

[StorytellingMonkey]

On 12/29/2023 at 3:19 PM, Kyksie said:

I've mostly given up reviewing stuff, but I saw this sitting with no replies and couldn't resist.

 

On 12/29/2023 at 3:19 PM, Kyksie said:

On the plus side, there actually is a plot and it actually makes sense, the custom mobs are well done and not too hard, and there are no time wasters.

 

Thanks for checking it out. It looks like you enjoyed it.

 

Reply to the critique

On 12/29/2023 at 3:19 PM, Kyksie said:

On the downside, the writing isn't great, it's lacking in details (i.e. blank interact bars) ....

 

No real detail about what makes the writing lacking.

I think everyone know what an interaction bar is and taking time to write "... searching ..." or "...you inspect the blank..." is not necessary. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't.

Some want a bunch of writing in the interaction boxes. Some complain that the information should be short. It's a matter of opinion.

 

On 12/29/2023 at 3:19 PM, Kyksie said:

there are a gazillion spelling errors

 

The AE doesn't come with a spell checker.

I'm not paid to write AE stories.

Sometimes I will dump the text into google and spell check, sometimes I don't. It's time consuming.

If I'm going to take extra time to polish a story to "publishing" level, then I should just write it for publication in the real world and not waste time on trying to provide some fun alternative gaming that isn't already in City of Heroes.

 

On 12/29/2023 at 3:19 PM, Kyksie said:

EDIT: also, one mission has several EBs who are set to flee, making them almost impossible to defeat, which I found kinda annoying.

 

It is supposed to be hard to stop them from escaping. That's the whole point.

The contact dialog even explains that.

 

Critique of the the critique

What I'm missing is:

Did you play it solo or with a team?

What level was the character/team?

What character archetype(s) were on the team?

[Clave Dark 5]

3 hours ago, StorytellingMonkey said:

I think everyone know what an interaction bar is and taking time to write "... searching ..." or "...you inspect the blank..." is not necessary. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't.

Some want a bunch of writing in the interaction boxes. Some complain that the information should be short. It's a matter of opinion.

 

The AE doesn't come with a spell checker.

I'm not paid to write AE stories.

Sometimes I will dump the text into google and spell check, sometimes I don't. It's time consuming.

If I'm going to take extra time to polish a story to "publishing" level, then I should just write it for publication in the real world and not waste time on trying to provide some fun alternative gaming that isn't already in City of Heroes.

I've pondered that first point myself; I tend to not fill in the blanks for glowies that pop up the "you've opened this crate" stuff in Chat, as I see that as a bit redundant because "yes, I know, I just clicked on it."  But these can also be chances to exercise your creativity, like "Despite the ticking sound inside, you've opened this crate" or even comedy "You can smell that and you're still opening this crate?!"  But yeah, I still often leave those bits out.  But... not putting anything on the interact bar can make an arc look slipshod imho, or unfinished.  If nothing else, those two examples I just gave would work well there, and then you could ignore the other blanks.

 

Regardinbg that second point, I am both something of a sloppy typist, make mistakes when editing or deleting and not a great speller (despite what my erudite posts on this forum might lead you to believe!).  I dearly wish there was a spell checker in the AE but as there isn't one, I always cut and past eand my text into an online form to be sure.  Fporme there's a compnant of hsame ha ha, but there's also a sort of pride of manufacture, maybe some sense responcibility to the reader/player as well.  I want my work to look good and not be distracting with problerms in my typoing.  Case in point: I've left this paragraph unedited (up to this point), enjoy!  Fixing such stuff makes for a smoother experience for the player, it really does.  If you don't feel it's worth the time to fix your story, what's that tell me about how important YOU consider your story to be?

 

All this is juts my two cents.  I haven't run the story yet (yet, I was hoping to soon) so feel free to thumb your nose at me or block me or whatever.

[cranebump]

One thing I’ve learned from experience when it comes to hearing criticism of my writing: if I’m having to “explain” my logic to the reader, they’re not the problem. I am. Failure to fulfill basic expectations of clarity and entertainment is my job, not theirs. I can even fail on the second part, which is sometimes inevitable, since what entertains is often subjective. But I have no excuse for not being clear, and adhering to a very basic level of professionalism, if I’m sharing my work in the public sphere. Since you are sharing it, you can expect criticism. How you react to it will dictate whether you learn anything from the experience.
 

Lesson one is to try not to be defensive about what people say. If your immediate urge is to make excuses (I.e. “explain” your mistakes, rather than admitting you may have made them), you’ll learn absolutely nothing, because you’ve justified what you’ve done [to yourself], and therefore see no flaws or avenues for growth. I know this, because I’ve done it before, and gotten nowhere. When you get feedback, consider it. Whether you initially agree with it or not. This is a skill that goes far outside of just trying to write a silly superhero story. Sometimes, people are just trying to help us. It’s our job to know when this is happening, and to know how to use it.

 

On that:

(1) Interact text: You should put verbiage in every search bar because it’s an expectation derived from the actual game missions, which you are trying to emulate. Players expect it, so they notice it when it’s missing. They shouldn’t be thinking about why it’s not there. You’ll have to show me, by the way, the “some people” who don’t care for interact text. I’m betting it’s not many, and that none of them script.

 

(2j Basic grammar, spelling, punctuation: You want this to be tight as possible, so that you aren’t perceived as lazy (or worse, illiterate/stupid). Chalking off a failure to edit because you don’t get paid to write is a cop out that only harms your efforts. If a player is noticing the errors in my writing more than the story details, it’s a hindrance, plain and simple. Is it time consuming to, you know, edit the thing? Hell yes, it is. Its a pain in the ass, and the worst part of writing. It’s also the difference between doing a half-assed versus a stellar job. You can have the best idea in the world. Execute it with lazy writing, riddled with noticeable errors? You’ll hear about it, maybe even as the first thing. This isn’t just in AE scripting. It applies to all written communication, outside informal texting (well…for some of us…I personally maintain a modicum of proper execution. Habit, I guess).

 

(3) Annoying your players: if you get a comment concerning something a player didn’t like, you might chalk it off as a single instance, depending on who it is, and the nature of the complaint. If you hear the same thing from multiple sources, however, take it to heart. I’ve had critiques from single sources that I initially didn’t agree with, but later realized they were right (using timers, for example). As for latter, multiple instances, here’s one case in point: both Kyks and myself pointed out your blank interact bars, in two different arcs. It’s pervasive. We noticed. Your explanation for leaving them blank feels like an excuse to not go back and fix them. It’s lazy. I’d also suggest taking Kyksie’s advice about the running bosses being almost impossible to defeat, and change that, as well. Regardless of your intent, you’re actively diminishing a player’s enjoyment. Multiple times. He may have a point about that (especially when I think about how many “boss running away” missions there are in the actual game, and how I can’t recall really liking any of them). You just don’t want arbitrary player frustration, if you can help it. They’re your audience. You owe them a good time.

Be honored, by the way, that Kyksie reviewed your stuff. It’s been a good while, and you were chosen to break the silence. You even got a compliment. Kyks won’t give you that unless you actually earn it. 
 

Other than that, I strongly suggest doing some clean up of easily fixable errors. Yeah, you’re not getting paid for your work (and frankly, intimating that we should only care about quality when one gets paid for it doesn’t reflect well—it sounds like an excuse I’d hear from one of the many HS students I’ve taught over the decades). But that’s immaterial. Because you do get “paid” by eliciting a basic level of respect from your audience by giving them a good effort. As with any paycheck, if you don’t put the time in, you won’t get jack.

Edited January 3 by cranebump

[huang3721]

Out of three replies, only one guy ran this arc, and even that guy couldn't do a decent review. 

 

On 12/30/2023 at 3:19 AM, Kyksie said:

On the plus side, there actually is a plot and it actually makes sense, the custom mobs are well done and not too hard, and there are no time wasters. On the downside, the writing isn't great, it's lacking in details (i.e. blank interact bars) and there are a gazillion spelling errors.

 

Of course, there is a plot. The OP wrote it at the very top of this thread. Here it is, just in case you missed it:

On 12/13/2023 at 9:25 PM, StorytellingMonkey said:

Something sinister is happening in the streets of Paragon City. After dark, a thick mist rolls in to obscure the streets and teenagers have gone missing. These don't seem to be normal gang related abductions.

What makes it well done? Is it because the mission was easy enough for you?

Is this AE good for solo or team play? What is the most memorable thing from this mission? Does this mission emphasize story-telling? Is the mission funny? Are there easter eggs? How about the difficulty? How about its length? Is it farmable? What do I need to know as a prospective player? In your opinion, is there any concrete way to make it better aside from fixing typos and adding text?

 

I hope Guy#2 will play this soon and have something better for this thread. (Assuming he wants to do a review and not merely quoting people).

 

Last but not least, Guy #3 wrote a wall of text that has nothing to do with this AE. Crane, you are the best reviewer here. What happened?

Also, is this necessary?

On 1/3/2024 at 11:56 AM, cranebump said:

Be honored, by the way, that Kyksie reviewed your stuff. It’s been a good while, and you were chosen to break the silence. You even got a compliment. Kyks won’t give you that unless you actually earn it. 

Why should anyone in this forum feel honored by his review? IMO, his review is often shallow and lacking. Is he the grand arbiter of mission architects? He doesn't even practice what he preached.

 

[Clave Dark 5]

1 hour ago, huang3721 said:

I hope Guy#2 will play this soon and have something better for this thread. (Assuming he wants to do a review and not merely quoting people).

Whoops, I forgot.  I don't normal have time for full reviews though.

[UltraAlt]

On 1/2/2024 at 9:02 PM, Clave Dark 5 said:

Case in point: I've left this paragraph unedited (up to this point), enjoy! 

 

Do you believe the spelling in the player's arc is that bad?

That is what you are implying, isn't it?

 

49 minutes ago, Clave Dark 5 said:

Whoops, I forgot.  I don't normal have time for full reviews though.

 

I think you mean "normally", but I see that you just had time comment without playing the arc at all.

 

It throws onto the comment:

On 12/29/2023 at 3:19 PM, Kyksie said:

there are a gazillion spelling errors.

 

Which is obviously a HUGE exaggeration, but I understand it was used as an idiom to mean more spelling errors then they liked to see - which is highly dependent upon the person making that call.

 

On 1/2/2024 at 9:02 PM, Clave Dark 5 said:

All this is juts my two cents.  I haven't run the story yet

 

[cranebump]

 So, um, just to be clear, @huang3721, "feel honored" relates to those of us who have been reviewed (and occasionally skewered by Kyks). It was more of a"welcome to the club" thing. That said, anytime you get anyone taking the time to actually give you feedback, that's typically gold, because it happens so infrequently.

 

[huang3721]

6 hours ago, cranebump said:

anytime you get anyone taking the time to actually give you feedback, that's typically gold, because it happens so infrequently

 

Not really. From 2023, 20 people (discounting Ultimo, Ankylosaur, Darmian, and you) posted their story arc(s) in this forum. Only eight people didn't get a review (60% got at least one). Whenever people post their arcs here, they are more likely to get a review or feedback.

 

Why should we feel honored by this guy? You do a much better review than him. Why?

[cranebump]

I have to stick with my original "gold" statement because, despite people receiving reviews, they don't receive multiples from different people,. Getting several reviews/perspectives is usually better than just 1. Of course, we might be getting “reviews" from players via the rating system, but they only drop a few words (and not always useful). 

 

As far as how people review, I would say that, while I appreciate the compliment, we should remember that "better" is subjective. What I do is different from Kyksie. I'm mainly looking to provide usable feedback. Kyksie's looking to entertain. Or rather, he was, back when he was more invested in reviewing. The snarky tone is part of the schtick. If you can find any of his older, lengthier reviews, you'll see it. You might not like it, but it'll provide context for his shorter, off-the-cuff review we're talking about here.

 

Lastly, "feel honored," again, is just a saying, meaning, in this case, "welcome to the club." I've had some of my flubs aired for everyone to see. That's part and parcel of putting your work on public display. It means someone might peruse it. And maybe they'll talk about it with others. That's the deal. I can either be thin-skinned about it, or parse my way through the uncomfortable part, and try to find a useful nugget. It's been said that any publicity is better than no publicity. Don't know if that's 100% true, but one could say that any mention is better than silence. Whether one agrees with the tone or not. In any case, it's not my job to tell someone how to review my piece, or what to look for in it. If anything, a review shows me what others look for. If I pay attention, I'll know more about how to address a wider audience. It behooves me not to turn it into an argument, since, as already mentioned, a review is subjective. I don't have to agree with it. Doesn't mean it's not worth me listening to it.

Edited January 9 by cranebump

[Clave Dark 5]

8 hours ago, UltraAlt said:

Do you believe the spelling in the player's arc is that bad?

*ahem*Game recognizes game.

[UltraAlt]

42 minutes ago, Clave Dark 5 said:

ahem*Game recognizes game.

 

weak.

 

8 hours ago, UltraAlt said:

t throws onto the comment:

On 12/29/2023 at 3:19 PM, Kyksie said:

there are a gazillion spelling errors.

 

Which is obviously a HUGE exaggeration, but I understand it was used as an idiom to mean more spelling errors then they liked to see - which is highly dependent upon the person making that call.

 

@Clave Dark 5 You show one example that someone else posted.

Have you even bothered with playing the arc?

 

Where are the 

On 12/29/2023 at 3:19 PM, Kyksie said:

gazillion spelling errors

that you are defending as fact?

 

@StorytellingMonkey posted here in the forums.

Many that create story arcs do not.

Players should not be shaming them for creating stories in the AE that was designed for players to create stories (and not farms) and posting that they had created something and wanted to share it with others in the forum for the Mission Architect.

 

Should there be any doubt that this negative behavior will dissuade others from posting that they have created something for other players enjoyment?

Did @StorytellingMonkey post their arcs in the forums so that they could be pounced upon by critics?

 

It seems to me that they were posting to advertise an arc that they thought other players would enjoy because it was a story and not a farm.

 

I think some of us know how hard it is to sift through the AE looking for arcs that are actually stories worth playing.

 

Maybe the judgement is that the critics that actually bothered to play the arc don't feel that it is worth playing.

They can rate and send feedback through the AE when they leave the mission. The feedback space is limited for a reason.

I'm not going to come here to the forums and attacking someone else's work so that it is downgraded before the eyes of other players before they even play it.

If the critique is supposed helpful, do it through the feedback system that is already built in the the AE.

 

Myself. I'm generous in my ratings. Most AE story arcs get a 4 or a 5. It has to be horribly bad to get a 3. I can't even remember the last time I gave a 3.

I figure if another player is taking time in attempting to make something for other people to enjoy then they deserve positive credit for effort.

 

Farms? No. I don't farm. I don't play any of the farms and I don't go out of my way to down-rate them because I don't think that any farm is worth a even a 2 rating.

I think a good number of us know that there are farms that get high ratings and are played many, many, many times simply because they are farms - that has no merit to me next to someone that is actually trying to create a story in the AE to entertain other players with stories.

 

Thank you @StorytellingMonkey for posting your arcs here.

I have rated the ones that I have played through the rating system in the AE and given my feedback there.

 

 

[Kyksie]

Good lord. I post a three paragraph review and people have written a novel in response

 

Yes, I banged out the review in five minutes, because I know that only a dozen people would read it. That's also why I don't make AEs anymore. It's disheartening to spend twenty hours on something and have two people play it.

 

Yes, the spelling errors are everywhere. If you have to ask, then you didn't play it for even a minute.

[cranebump]

I haven’t played this arc, but I did review a different arc by the same author. There are some similar issues with spelling and such in the one I ran, as well as the missing glowie text, both in the search bar and sometimes missing clues altogether—not once, but on multiple occasions. I think the author was trying to place objects as window dressing. There’s a way to set them where they remain inert, but they obviously don’t know how to do that just yet.  That said, the aspects were noticeable enough to be distracting in both arcs, representing an error trend in the author’s work (an easily fixed one at that).
 

When someone posts an advert here about their AE arc, I assume they want actionable feedback (if there is anything to address).  Perhaps this wasn’t the case here. That said, a bit of work on cleaning up small things can only help both arcs. My issue is the making excuses not to, because editing and revising is a basic composition skill that simply takes time and effort. If someone’s spending time to run something I write, I should respect them enough to put in the effort to make it clean, at the very least.

 

 

 

Edited January 9 by cranebump

[UltraAlt]

40 minutes ago, Kyksie said:

Yes, the spelling errors are everywhere. If you have to ask, then you didn't play it for even a minute.

 

Honestly, I don't take time dwell on spelling errors while running AE missions.

I'm looking for fun and intent.

[cranebump]

6 hours ago, UltraAlt said:

.

I'm looking for fun and intent. 

I’m with you on fun and intent. And I think a clean, slick piece allows me a greater opportunity for that, since I’m not having to too often stop and mentally autocorrect spelling. 
 

I understand that we want to shepherd new authors by being supportive and nice (which is the tone I try to adopt when I review). At the same time, I don’t think it’s a personal attack to say someone’s got spelling errors in their story. We’re critiquing the piece, not the person.* 

 

*Until [and unless] they give reasons why they won’t bother to fix anything. Then we know where the issue lies. 

[Thraxen]

Got through first couple missions just now before shutdown. Pretty fun. Challenging too. I had it set on +4/8 and it as by myself. Don’t see all the spelling errors. I’ll finish it later today if say. Real fun but can’t withstand my main, the true vampire.  He is savage/inv. Did have to use cooldowns which I normally don’t have to use. Good stuff man. @Snarky might like it he seems to like vamps as much as I do 

[Kyksie]

I also ran through two other arcs by the same author:

 

Earth Defense Sentai :: World Wide Pollution

The player is tasked with stopping Crey's pollution, which for some reason has spawned the "Toxic Fairy". There writing is a bit sparse but there are almost no spelling errors.

 

Cheap Chinese Productions :: City of Ninja

A local herbalist has a thousand year old ginseng root, which will cause a ninja lord to get super powers if he eats it, go stop him please? It's a bit of a stereotype, but then the title of the arc suggests it might be a self aware parody of Asian stereotypes. I dunno. Anyway, this is another arc with OK writing and only a few spelling errors ("gensing"). The problem is the time wasters, of which there are several. 

 

[Darmian]

I'll not wade into judging anything here only to mention the criteria that I aspire to when writing an AE, which is I want my AE to be as well written, if not better than (and depending on the arc that's occasionally a lower bar than you think) any of the in game arcs.  We as AE writers don't have the full set of bells and whistles and so on that the dev team has, so make it as good as possible and try to be smarter about it if we can.  

 

I suppose that WAS a wade in, in a way. But there you go. That said, I HAVE played AE arcs that barely follow any of the boundaries I set for myself and I've still had a blast playing them.

Edited January 10 by Darmian

[cranebump]

Any publicity is good publicity. Bourne out here, as the initial review spurred additional plays, and different perspectives. 

[huang3721]

I ran this story arc solo as a blaster with the difficulty set to (+0/x1).

The story arc has three medium maps and one outdoor map. Each map has one or two objectives and is quite plain (no linked, timed, or failable objectives). IMO, the arc is for anyone looking for a relatively short story. 

All enemies are custom critters. Most of the challenges come from ambushes and the optional EBs/AVs hiding in the map. Since those EBs/AVs are optional, the difficulty remains flat through most of the arc, assuming no accidental bumping with said EBs/AVs. I like the optional EBs/AVs as an additional challenge in this simple arc. 

The author wrote several homages to pulp fiction. Interestingly, they put a good portion of them as NPC information, which means someone will miss those if they kill the enemies without checking the info boxes first. This results in a seemingly barren story arc.

 

Also, as others have pointed out, the story arc still needs polishing and spellchecking.

 

Thanks for writing this AE. It's enjoyable despite the errors.

[StorytellingMonkey]

On 1/8/2024 at 11:08 PM, Kyksie said:

That's also why I don't make AEs anymore. It's disheartening to spend twenty hours on something and have two people play it.

 

Even worse to get jumped on by people in the forums because the expect War and Peace instead of comic book story.

 

I was just quickly writing so people might have some different to play.

Obviously, I didn't take time to spell check this one and just hacked it out.

 

I'll go back and do some spell checking as time provides.

 

On 1/10/2024 at 2:35 PM, Darmian said:

I'll not wade into judging anything here only to mention the criteria that I aspire to when writing an AE, which is I want my AE to be as well written, if not better than (and depending on the arc that's occasionally a lower bar than you think) any of the in game arcs.

 

So did you bother playing my arc?

 

On 1/11/2024 at 8:26 AM, huang3721 said:

The author wrote several homages to pulp fiction. Interestingly, they put a good portion of them as NPC information, which means someone will miss those if they kill the enemies without checking the info boxes first.

 

Easter egg.

 

On 1/11/2024 at 8:26 AM, huang3721 said:

This results in a seemingly barren story arc.

 

There is a good bit of conversation and, yes, you can miss the boss/EB/AV conversations if you don't fight them.

The Contact is clear. You must defeat ALL the vampires to stop the spread of vampires in Paragon City.

They even question you about it at the end of the arc.

 

On 12/29/2023 at 3:19 PM, Kyksie said:

EDIT: also, one mission has several EBs who are set to flee, making them almost impossible to defeat, which I found kinda annoying.

 

Or it makes it challenging.

A lot of this is a matter of perspective.

 

[Darmian]

20 minutes ago, StorytellingMonkey said:

So did you bother playing my arc?

Yes I did actually. A while ago it seems because I didn't remember the details and went to check and there's that little tick mark saying it was played by me.

 

 

 

I don't do what @Kyksie or @cranebump or @TerroirNoir2 do and write reviews though. I simply don't have the time. I just play. And for what it's worth I DO appreciate everyone who writes a story AE over a farm (though they have their own expertise as well).  And Easter Eggs are appreciated! I put a few into mine and likewise, I'm damn sure most have been missed.  Still, that's the nature of Easter Eggs.

 

 

Edited January 12 by Darmian

[StorytellingMonkey]

On 1/10/2024 at 1:28 PM, Kyksie said:

Cheap Chinese Productions :: City of Ninja .... It's a bit of a stereotype, but then the title of the arc suggests it might be a self aware parody of Asian stereotypes.

 

Ya think?

 

On 1/10/2024 at 1:28 PM, Kyksie said:

I dunno.

 

/e faceplam

 

On 1/10/2024 at 1:28 PM, Kyksie said:

The problem is the time wasters, of which there are several.

 

What's a time waster?

 

On 1/11/2024 at 8:26 AM, huang3721 said:

Each map has one or two objectives and is quite plain (no linked, timed, or failable objectives).

 

Is a time waster the kind of thing that @huang3721 want to make the Night of the Vampires not "quite plan"?

 

As many posts I see for farms and level 50's running the same-old Council scanner missions, one would figure they would like a chance of pace now and again that didn't have an overly complicated story, allowed some challenges if they wanted them, and allowed a team that found that they were over their head the chance to complete the arc by avoiding the most dangerous challenges.

 

I don't know. Each person judges based on their own opinions.

I've seen plenty of DEV's Choice missions that honestly had to say how could that possibly rate being given a DEV's Choice?

 

I could just try to get plays by recruiting for my arcs. No one but me would see most of the dialog.

 

On 1/10/2024 at 1:28 PM, Kyksie said:

Cheap Chinese Productions :: City of Ninja

 

Check your souvenirs.