Dacy

Yes, CR, I asked because you mentioned it. 🙂 Another author that is just amazing is Carol Berg; I haven't read anything of hers yet that I was able to put down, and she's the master of the plot twist. Fantasy. -Dacy

Thanks, QB, and, that snicker she heard, might even be that unexplained voice... I thought it gave additional reason why Ms. Pal might decide they were both trouble. If she thought that Annabel had been thinking of her when she dragged her out of the orientation, that might soothe her feelings of being made fun of, or perhaps make her realize that maybe Annabel hadn't made fun of her. So, if you showed something like that, it doesn't seem too quick, although put together, you might get the sense that Marilyn does like to leap to conclusions and might be prone to false logic chains. Or she's really oversensitive in her relationships. (I find those two things often go hand in hand). Maybe they actually balance each other. -Dacy

Yes, the flow is much better! We saw much more of Marilyn here, and more of Annabel, too. I loved the section where Annabel is thwacking students with the parasol. I misread it the first time, thought she was doing that to sit next to Marilyn, and that confused me because you specifically said Marilyn was seated away from the others, but I got it the second time through. 🙂 I like descriptions like "yanked", "rolled her eyes" and " 'vampire' ", they give more of a picture of how something was done. I'd even like to see even a touch more of that...for instance, I can think of several ways Marilyn might have said, "Right." Did she carefully resist showing a reaction and keep her tone neutral, not that Annabel was paying attention to that stuff anyway? Did she roll her eyes and say it sarcastically? Did she say it in a long suffering sort of way, with a sigh, like, here we go, I guess my dream of a normal roommate is dust in the sunlight? Did she say it expectantly, waiting for the rest of the joke? You get the idea. I want to know what you're seeing them do, like facial expressions, how something was said. 🙂 The more you can give the reader, in small things, like "yanked", etc, words that are both descriptive and move the plot forward, short add ons to the overall story. "Right!" Marilyn barked with a laugh. Doesn't add much in words, but does in terms of description. But yes, I love how much you added, it really perked it up, too! My reaction to Marilyn feeling all put upon from just the fact that Annabel says she didn't say anything was, whoa, this chick's got some issues. That's not a normal reaction... And again, when suddenly, oh look, we actually can be friends, maybe....quick switch up. Is Marilyn that given to extremes and quick emotional swings? Or if not, is there maybe more you could show there that shows how she got to that thought? I "punched up" the short bit when Marilyn hears the voice (great touch, btw, interested to see where that goes!). I'm putting it in spoilers, read it or don't, but it's just adding in some of the descriptive touches I spoke of earlier, plus adding something to make Marilyn's reaction make more sense to me, if she is supposed to make sense (and for purpose of demonstration, that's the direction I'm going). My additions/changes are in red. Take it with a grain of salt, it's only my opinion, and your work is good the way it is, too. 🙂 Great job on the rewrite! 🙂 -Dacy

Iynx, you have a talent for building intrigue. 🙂 Well done! -Dacy

Cool on the art in the campaign! If you like to read...and I suspect you do!...you would want to check out McMaster Bujold's books. She has written both fantasy and sci-fi, and the book I referred to is sci-fi. Her books are extremely well written (she can put more layers of meaning into one concise sentence than anyone I've seen), her characters are intriguing, complex, and also very well written, and overall, I just love her books. The portrait of Hour Thief reminded me of Miles Vorkosigan not so much in the uniform, altho Miles would also be wearing a uniform, but in attitude. Miles is one of my all time favorite characters. He's the only son of a high ranking noble family, but he was born with very brittle bones that have caused stunted growth and deformities on a planet where physical perfection is the only acceptable option, for reasons she covers but I won't go into here. This puts him in the position of having a lot to prove..to himself, perhaps, but definitely to the world he lives in. Fortunately, he's also brilliant, which is how he manages the situations he finds himself in. The book with the cover (now has a different cover, but that's good, because overall, the artist apparently hadn't read the book...) is the first book I read of the series, and it's where I recommend you start, if you wish to read: The Warrior's Apprentice. She is very adept at drama, but often adds in subtle humor that has frequently made me laugh out loud. Ah, man, now I want to go on a tangent of books I've loved... 🙂 but I won't. Do you have a link to your book? Is it COH related, or not really related? -Dacy

You cannot access the AH from either inside of a mission or from inside of a base,, since a base map is treated by the program like a mission map Unless they make the AH available inside of a mission (unlikely), I don't think it will ever be available inside of a base. Never was, due to the programming. It'd be convenient, but I don't it's considered "broken", and so it won't be "fixed". 🙂 -Dacy

I love the atmosphere you get into your art! Sort of hazy in places, really nice. 🙂 Your Hour Thief reminds me a bit of the first cover art of one of Lois McMaster Bujold's books on Miles Vorkosigan...only better. I love the drawing of the ..slug? underwater...the water is just perfect. -Dacy

Try the bases topic; many guides already written. -Dacy

Emmy is right, the limit is 18 total for all storage type containers. You can delete your base by moving the storage containers to the entry room (the delete won't work if there is a storage container with anything in it in the room), and deleting all other rooms. You can also edit the base plot any time you wish; you can even make it the same one, just re-positioned. But the "delete room" is the closest thing there is to a base wipe. Emmy is also right in that you can get everything you need for a functional base into a very compact area. Here are pictures of a base I'm working on. While I'm working in the big room, I've set up the entry plus a small connected room which houses everything a base can have in way of services. NPCs, looking back towards entrance Teleporters (you can size them much smaller) Medical, with entry in back for distance comparison: A look towards the workshop, with mission computer and Ouros to the right side: Work area: Nothing too fancy, but also nothing too dull. I simply used the base coloring to help add interest, and then added a very few visual extras, and made the storage area neater with my put-it-behind-the-wall approach. I did dress up the medical area a bit, but all in all, it did not take me long to do this. Now they have a functional base while I work on the big showy part of it. -Dacy

It came to my attention that there were a couple of details that were relevant to building above or below that I covered in separate videos. So, for those who aren't necessarily viewing all, here's a bit more complete guide to building above or below the base. This video includes everything from consideration of lighting, and choosing the plot and room, to opening the ceiling, moving the base portal, laying down things like grass or water so they don't flicker, the commands you'll need if you're moving the portal so that you can edit from anywhere, and further demonstration of what to do once you've got that first floor tile laid where you want to build. I hope this helps! -Dacy

Newest addition, a more complete guide to building above and below the base, including a look at issues like things to consider when deciding where to build, opening the ceiling, moving the portal, laying down grass or water without flicker, and more demonstration on what to do after you've laid that first floor plate where you want to build. I hope this helps! -Dacy

Those are amazing! Nice job!! -Dacy

Very awesome, @Flashtoo!

No, for an overreaction, scroll up...You barely showed the reaction I am pretty sure you had, but it was enough for me to understand how you were feeling, because been there, felt that. 🤗 And some days, it's just hard to hear anything but, WOW, that was AWESOME. 🙂 Which it was, and I should have made that more clear. 🙂 Also, be clear, YOU are putting in an awesome amount of effort, and I congratulate you on how much work you are putting into your writing. It shows. 🙂 -Dacy

It was good!! Just the one thing wasn’t clear, and the other stuff is just a matter of perhaps giving just a couple more details. Take or leave the suggestions, they are just my opinion. 😊 I don’t want you to feel down on yourself or your work, just wanted to give you an outside perspective. Lots of times I need to write and then put it away and come back to it so I can see it with “fresh eyes”, because it’s only then that I can see what’s missing. It’s easy to skip over little details that help the reader see the whole picture because as an author, I already know what’s going on; review like that helps me make sure I’ve given enough so that the reader knows, too. So it’s merely an outside perspective on a few small things, fwiw. I’m excited to see where you will go with this, and I think it’s wonderful you are letting us in on your writing as you go. I understand the feeling of having something you worked hard on criticized, and I won’t give feedback like this if you’d rather not get it. Really, this was a matter of a small bit of polish on an otherwise sparkling piece. 😊 -Dacy

Glad to see you moving ahead with speed! A couple of small notes (stop reading here if you don’t want notes!) it took me a couple of readthroughs to understand which girl had said, “right”. The next sentence makes it pretty clear that Annabel did not say it, but personally I would love to see some identifying information with that statement as to who is saying it and perhaps in what manner they said it. Usually, when one character is speaking, I always give some indicator if the speaker changes. If two characters have a conversation going back-and-forth, I will only do that once or twice, and then let the alternating sentences give the indication. A couple things needed clarity for me: why would Ms. Pal have sent Marilyn away at the same time she sent Annabel? That didn’t make sense. The other thing was, I wondered how it was that Annabel already knew what the wellness center was, and that it had lemon water. Clearly, this was an orientation, and that would be for new students. If Annabel is new, how does she know her way around, and if she is not new, why is she at the orientation? Last small thought: The bit with the breathy voice, since it was talking about the sun burning, it seemed like that should be Annabel, but you didn’t specify. I would personally like to see it either noted that Annabel said that, or some indicator that maybe the voice couldn’t be tracked or it was somewhere nearby or something to indicate that it wasn’t a student. Also, I would love to see more reaction from Marilyn. She got tickled and no one was there. She heard a voice. Did her reactions to these things cause her to catch the attention of Ms. Pal? How she reacts to these things will tell me a lot about her personality. Also, I am assuming that these things are important, but without reactions, it’s kind of left hanging. Sort of like, “oh, well, that happened! But the important thing is, there’s lemon water at the wellness center!“ If the idea was to mention these things in passing because you don’t want to focus on them right now but you want to introduce the idea, help that along by maybe having Marilyn just shrug it off, or maybe it chills her, or maybe she decided she’s going to ignore it. Whatever she does, I’m sure there’s a reason for it, and that tells me something, too. The more reactions and mannerisms we can see in your characters, the more we will be able to get to know them, and the more real they become. 😊 -Dacy

Really like what CR said. Have fun 🙂 -Dacy

Good thinking, except, he says he sees the yellow box. That won't show up if there's an arcane/tech mismatch. -Dacy

However, there is a way to simulate a starfield...but it’s a lot of work. -Dacy

Nice fishtank! I like that a lot. 🙂 Hrm, not sure if I have what you'd need (google operating rooms to see some inspiration), but here are a couple I've done; none were surgical suites per se, but of course, for the one in the spaceship, it's set up like Star Trek might be, no traditional surgery. Then, this, a clinic type set up: With exam rooms I hope that helps! 🙂 -Dacy

Nice way to work, QB! Apply fingers to keyboard and get SOMETHING down. This thing I've noticed isn't really a writing tip per se, but you can apply it to writing when trying to make sure your writing is holding the reader's attention, I guess. 🙂 So, simply put, what I've noticed is that there's a formula for action denouement, which is, protagonist faces impossible odds, protagonist fights, sometimes even scoring some good points initially, but seemingly always, it will seem as though the protagonist has been defeated before somehow finding a way to win. The best books I've read, I never see this coming as to how, and it's never exactly what I expected, but it's still completely logical. You can't just go, scene missing, "Oh, that was a narrow escape!" or "poof" some heretofore never before introduced character or power comes in and saves the day. Think of pretty much every action movie you've ever seen. The victory scored is all the more sweet when it looked like it wasn't going to happen. And then you get some writers, like Joss Whedon, who will throw in a major character's demise, just to be unpredictable. (And then you get authors like George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones, where they take THAT to extremes.) As for a writing tip I -do- use, it would be logic. Things have to follow logically within the context of the rules of the world in which I'm writing. I ask myself "why?" a lot. Why is this character doing this? Where did this important plot device come from, what happens if x happens? Does that make sense? Why? It's sort of like formal writing: you have your thesis sentence, and then your supporting facts, and then your conclusion because of the supporting details, but it has to follow logically. Pet peeve of mine is when I'm watching a show (it usually doesn't happen in the books I read, but I'm sure it happens in some books!) and I see something and I'm like, wait a minute, how did THAT happen?? That's completely out of left field. Or when I know for a fact that they took a convenient shortcut in what's possible for a person, profession, or physical reality. So when you discard convenient shortcuts and plot devices, well, then you've really got to THINK about how you can get from A to B or maybe Z in a way that is credible for your character. And maybe let the character chime in with its unique personality and perspective; the logical path may not be the one you see, for that character, it might go about things in a different way. That's why it's so important to make your characters real to you. I had a bit of help in this department; all of the major characters in my story -were- real, creations of other people who had their own perspective on how that character would act, and I had to respect that. This was particularly true with Trick. There were times I had to rewrite a scene because, nope, that's not how Trick would have responded. But it kept it more real, I think, and altho I know it did make the writing more difficult for me, it also gave it more depth. And, that's life, really; you run into people who don't always do things the way you'd like, and you adapt or avoid and move on. I knew an author, Holly Lisle, before she was an author and during the process of her becoming an author, and I will always remember a story she told. There was a scene in which a character was going to die. This character was the child of her main character, and honestly, it was easier for the author and the plot if she was out of the way. But, she said, the character had other ideas. During a session of figuring out the scene where the child dies (eaten by sort of a tree), the child suddenly turned and said, "Bad tree!" and fought back with more magical ability than the author had intended for her to have, originally. In one move, the world changed, and suddenly, new possibilities opened up on the horizon, so they went with it. Instead of dying, the child became a major character, and the mother had one more thing to deal with. Now, I said, it's not cool to have an unintroduced power suddenly show up and save the day, but the child was the product of two wizards, so it made sense that she could suddenly, in a stressful situation, manifest these powers. I thought it was funny to hear of a character doing that, but I've since had it happen to me; I'm running the scene in my mind, and suddenly, my character does something different than what I'd been thinking before, and new plot directions fall into place. It's fun. 🙂 So, let the characters speak to you, and investigate different paths; they may be the paths that take you to the best places. Well, that was longer than I intended..story of my life. 🙂 -Dacy

Thanks, @DJ1! That was exactly what I was going for. Can I discuss a common, seemingly nearly universal plot mechanic for action/adventure stories/movies, in general, without needing to use the spoilers? I ask because I more or less used that when writing the ending. It's a principle, not an actual plot point. -Dacy

Ctrl/z won’t work on a storage item, just so you know. -Dacy

Yes, there is a limit on how many beacons a teleporter can use, it’s 10. That’s clearly stated in the auxiliary section of the object description. @SolarCenturion, the beacons normally attach to the wall. Are you trying to attach them to the wall, or have you tried changing the attachment type of the beacon? This would be my first guess as to what the problem is. -Dacy

Yep. This has happened to many people. It was happening in one of my bases consistently until I finally got the portal moved to where it was happier. In this case, it was also in the middle of the room, I simply raised the portal just a bit above the floor. I had tried rotating it, lifting it just a little bit, and a variety of other things before finally just putting it a bit off the floor. I don’t know for sure what’s happening, but it often relates to the portal intersecting with other objects like the floor or nearby things. It doesn’t have to be very much of an interaction for it to be temperamental. Sometimes rotating it to a new position helps for a while or solves it, sometimes you have to lift it so it’s free of anything on the floor, like I did. It’s certainly a bug that I wish they would fix. -Dacy