Breaking News!

[Scarlet Shocker]

Doctor Octopus has just robbed Kings Row bank.

 

He didn't have a gun, but he was very well armed!

[MoonSheep]

[FFFF]

Praetor Duncan walks into a bar. As she sits down, she looks up and notices three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. She asks the bartender "what's with the meat?"

The bartender says, "If you can jump up and slap all three pieces at once, you get free drinks for an hour. If you miss even one, you have to pay for everyone else's drinks for the rest of the night. Wanna give it a go?"

Praetor Duncan takes another look at the meat, then says, "I think I'll pass. The steaks are too high."

[Etched]

Everyone of you need help.

 

@Etched

[ChzBoi]

....Martha says to Betty, "I tell ya, my husband is an angel!"...................

 

..........Betty replies, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."...............................

[Scarlet Shocker]

In America you call them "Elevators"

In England we call them "Lifts"

 

I guess we're just raised differently

[Scarlet Shocker]

1 hour ago, ChzBoi said:

....Martha says to Betty, "I tell ya, my husband is an angel!"...................

 

..........Betty replies, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."...............................

 

Valentine's Day is in a couple of   days and so many people will be sad because they're not in a relationship.

 

Even more will be sad because they are.

[Infinitum]

A horse walks into a bar and orders a shot and a pint. 

The bartender asks:  are you a drunkard or something? 

The horse says: I don't think I am. 

POOF  the horse disappears.  

 

See this is a Descartes joke. I think therefore I am, but you can't open with that because it would be putting Descartes before the horse. 

 

[Clave Dark 5]

7 hours ago, Etched said:

Everyone of you need help.

I'm not going to take your word for it, you're an octopus! 

[Healix]

my first hubby died from eating Tide Pods...my second husband died of a stab wound cause he wouldn't eat the Tide Pods

[Techwright]

17 minutes ago, Healix said:

my first hubby died from eating Tide Pods...

 

At least it was a clean death.

[Yomo Kimyata]

A three-legged dire wolf walked into a bar and said, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

 

[UltraAlt]

 

Edited February 14, 2024 by UltraAlt

[Scarlet Shocker]

11 hours ago, Healix said:

my first hubby died from eating Tide Pods...my second husband died of a stab wound cause he wouldn't eat the Tide Pods

 

 

First one thought it was something he'd get high on!

 

[Go0gleplex]

Dude! What happened to your car?

It got recalled.

Why'd it get recalled? Was something wrong with it?

Well...some kids decided to egg it and the next morning I got the recall notice since it was a yolkswagon. 

They had to tow it though since it had four flat tires and was far-from-movin'. 

 

Edited February 14, 2024 by Go0gleplex

[Cyrickain13]

Why did the Hero fall out of the sky?

Because he was dead. 

[Healix]

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery!

[wjrasmussen]

 

[Go0gleplex]

Why do the Ouroboros folks always look so bored? 

Cause they're just doing the same thing time after time after time after time...

[Scarlet Shocker]

I just picked up the U2 Satnav super cheap. I thought I'd got a bargain, but it turned out to be completely crap. The streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!