no, thats not it, not enjoying or succeeding with a shade has nothing to do with ability, or sucking, it's something you have to discover, you have to change how you think about your character, every other AT in the game has a role, you have to forget that with a Kheld, you need to play not as DPS, not as Control, not as Tank, you have to play as whatever you need that very second, thats where the Kheld dance comes from, if you see a skilled Kheld player they will be in a different form every single time you see them, standing back and watching them fight will leave you dizzy, if you play a Kheld as for instance an Off-Tank, they will do it, but they won't be great at it, If you play a Kheld as a shapeshifting nightmare they wont just hold aggro, they will hold aggro then explode in the middle of their mob, killing them all and self healing and replenishing their end before squidding up and firing off some nasty kill+slow beams
Khelds reward experimenting with how you play, it's not for everyone, and it's not a better way, it's just something that when it gels is AWESOME