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How to meet new people to RP with?


Sarakitteh

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My advice is easier said than done so bare it in mind.

 

Don't bother with any methods of OOC interaction to 'set up' a scene. Why? Players will make judgement on your Roleplaying experience and character without ever meeting you IC, more often than not you will start on an unbalanced footing, they subconsciously didn't like your character bio, you partake in a roleplaying style they dislike, your characters costume is cliché, your characters backstory isn't original, etc etc.

 

The irony is that it's somewhat easy to defeat all these bias' that might be typically against you by 'jumping' people. Anyone with a 'Roleplaying' tag is advertising they're up for Roleplay, jump them wherever they are, whatever they're doing, be creative with greetings and go from there. Sometimes you will get ignored, other times you end up with a new friend and consistent Roleplay, it's worked for me in the past, but you also need a thick skin to handle some of the more ignorant Roleplayers, I think you'd be surprised at how many people are cool (even excited) at the purely organic and totally spontaneous Roleplaying option.

 

 

Edited by Latex
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2 hours ago, Latex said:

My advice is easier said than done so bare it in mind.

 

Don't bother with any methods of OOC interaction to 'set up' a scene. Why? Players will make judgement on your Roleplaying experience and character without ever meeting you IC, more often than not you will start on an unbalanced footing, they subconsciously didn't like your character bio, you partake in a roleplaying style they dislike, your characters costume is cliché, your characters backstory isn't original, etc etc.

 

The irony is that it's somewhat easy to defeat all these bias' that might be typically against you by 'jumping' people. Anyone with a 'Roleplaying' tag is advertising they're up for Roleplay, jump them wherever they are, whatever they're doing, be creative with greetings and go from there. Sometimes you will get ignored, other times you end up with a new friend and consistent Roleplay, it's worked for me in the past, but you also need a thick skin to handle some of the more ignorant Roleplayers, I think you'd be surprised at how many people are cool (even excited) at the purely organic and totally spontaneous Roleplaying option.

 

 

First off, you are going to be judged regardless of whether they've met you IC or not, and someone who thinks they don't like your character or style without ever meeting you has no reason to want to meet you. That defeats the purpose of looking for people to connect with, because someone who isn't going to connect with you is not relevant.

Secondly, the reason this thread was made in the first place is because the option of 'jump in on people' either is very, very limited or doesn't exist at all. Where are you finding these people that you don't actually know beforehand that you're just spontaneously engaging? Are you hanging around Pocket D and jumping into a single large group that are all acquainted already?

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7 hours ago, Sarakitteh said:

First off, you are going to be judged regardless of whether they've met you IC or not, and someone who thinks they don't like your character or style without ever meeting you has no reason to want to meet you. That defeats the purpose of looking for people to connect with, because someone who isn't going to connect with you is not relevant.

Secondly, the reason this thread was made in the first place is because the option of 'jump in on people' either is very, very limited or doesn't exist at all. Where are you finding these people that you don't actually know beforehand that you're just spontaneously engaging? Are you hanging around Pocket D and jumping into a single large group that are all acquainted already?

 

I've met and engaged in spontaneous RP with plenty of people around the world, Mercy Isle a few times, places like Atlas Park, a couple of scenes at Kings Row monorail, St. Martial, Grandville. Anyone with the Roleplaying tag on is pretty much fair game, I take initiative jump in and engage with some random line like 'Your costume looks like a green-screen' or 'You know where X is?' or if their bio has them as some big name Hero or Villain I'll entertain it, if they happen to be totally AFK stood around and haven't responded at all to IC attempts I'll send an OOC tell.

 

Trying to engage with established groups already Roleplaying and knowing one another is a different ball game, you will generally have a tougher time just like you would in reality. The crux of it is that you'd only need a few friends to start networking further, a few global adds of consistent Roleplayers to really broaden your friend circle, friends introduce you to their friends so on and so forth. The other good way to getting there is to join an active SG obviously.

 

 

Edited by Latex
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On 8/28/2021 at 4:25 PM, Sarakitteh said:

the forums had a 'Making Connections' thread,

 

I'm assuming others already made one or suggested that you do so.

or are you indicating that it was a DEV created subsection of the forums? <--- this may be the way to go to "put a spotlight on it".

 

What was that thing? "Build it, and they will come"? or something like that?

 

 

Edited by UltraAlt

If someone posts a reply quoting me and I don't reply, they may be on ignore.

(It seems I'm involved with so much at this point that I may not be able to easily retrieve access to all the notifications)

Some players know that I have them on ignore and are likely to make posts knowing that is the case.

But the fact that I have them on ignore won't stop some of them from bullying and harassing people, because some of them love to do it. There is a group that have banded together to target forum posters they don't like. They think that this behavior is acceptable.

Ignore (in the forums) and /ignore (in-game) are tools to improve your gaming experience. Don't feel bad about using them.

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So after the fact, I was thinking about this.

There actually are posts about RP'ing in the forums. Ones with pretty strict rules about how it is to be done.

 

I do RP while in game, but I'm RP-lite I guess because I don't "follow the rules". 

 

I know from experiences with various gaming groups that people don't RP the same way (or even run the same game the same way). People of different interpretations of how things are to be done or, sometimes, what rules even mean or the original intent of a game is.

 

All of these being taken into account, I do think that my original post is still correct.

If there was a subsection of the forums for RP, then one could post that they wanted to RP with others. There are things that make a successful gaming group and that includes - (most importantly) the time (time period of the activity) the group will meet, where the group will meet, and the goal or theme of the group for starters.

 

Factors that I would include :

Are you planning on just standing around and chatting? (teaming my not be necessary.)

Are you going to run missions as a group and RP while fighting and between fights? (teaming up)

Are you going to try to stick to running missions that work with the groups goal or theme? (pass the star)

Or is one person going to always be the lead? (someone is "running"/Game-mastering the team)

Is it going to be some rigid rules of how RP is done, or is it free-form (slips in and out of character as necessary during combat what not, but avoid RL [real life] chatter?)

If someone posts a reply quoting me and I don't reply, they may be on ignore.

(It seems I'm involved with so much at this point that I may not be able to easily retrieve access to all the notifications)

Some players know that I have them on ignore and are likely to make posts knowing that is the case.

But the fact that I have them on ignore won't stop some of them from bullying and harassing people, because some of them love to do it. There is a group that have banded together to target forum posters they don't like. They think that this behavior is acceptable.

Ignore (in the forums) and /ignore (in-game) are tools to improve your gaming experience. Don't feel bad about using them.

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36 minutes ago, UltraAlt said:

 

If there was a subsection of the forums for RP, then one could post that they wanted to RP with others.

 

Definitely not to call you out or anything, but we do have that section, we're in it, it just isn't being used for that right now, but there is no reason a thread couldn't be made and we could get it stickied for Seeking Connections 🙂  And before anyone asks, no I'm not starting it because I haven't even managed to get back to Valerika for RP I owe so am not looking currently for more RP to get behind on and feel guilty about 😄

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I don't mind a little club RP.  Even heroes and villains need to kick back and have a beer, now and then.  I do find it gets boring/stale for me after about an hour, max.  After that, I'm wanting to move on to classic action/investigation oriented comic book RP and adventure.

 

There are some players that are super into it, though, and prefer to spend most of their time doing it- and that's fine.  I imagine it might be the primary means of social stimulation for people that are physically disabled, grappling with social anxiety disorder, or stuck inside because of coronavirus quarantine, or what have you.  Or heck, even for people just too broke to go out to the bar, tonight.  😛 

 

It's difficult for people to get the social interaction they crave, under these circumstances, and club rp might be a viable means of doing that.

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4 hours ago, Latex said:

The crux of it is that you'd only need a few friends to start networking further, a few global adds of consistent Roleplayers to really broaden your friend circle, friends introduce you to their friends so on and so forth. The other good way to getting there is to join an active SG obviously.

 

This is true, and I'm working on branching out with the help of a good friend, as well as trying to interact with my SG more. But I thought it would be a good idea to try and forge more relations on my own, because I don't want to be overly reliant on a very small handful of people with their own lives, I've just been having trouble with that. I love my SG and I probably don't have the time for another one on top of that, but we are still small and most folks aren't around every day. I've been able to RP with 2 or 3 outside event times so far.

 

4 hours ago, UltraAlt said:

I'm assuming others already made one or suggested that you do so.

or are you indicating that it was a DEV created subsection of the forums? <--- this may be the way to go to "put a spotlight on it".

 

By the time I found out about it, it was pre-existing. I don't know who made it but it was a whole forum section of its own on a "Roleplayers coalition" community forum.

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Let's just try and get something together for everyone in the thread. At least a meetup. I'm on Everlasting, I assume most of us are. I'm free most days after 3 pst and most weekends any time. We should at least do an ic introduction session or something. Ic setting can be something as contrived as a job fair or charity dinner or something. 

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16 hours ago, Latex said:

My advice is easier said than done so bare it in mind.

 

Actually it is great advice.  I have zero problem with spontaneous contact... if someone else is doing it.  Unfortunately I freeze up at attempting it with others.  I think there's a lot of other socially awkward people out there with the same issue.  It took three months of attending Penny Palace before I made my first real connection, and they started the conversation!

 

(But BaRP turned into a more regular RP night with a bunch of people I already adore, so yay for sticking with it!)

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I haven't been actively playing much for quite a while, so I'm not in a really good spot to create connections, but overall, I'm of the mind that lighting a candle is better than cursing the darkness; and in that vein, not to ask people not to light candles because we need a brighter light. 

 

One of the things I've enjoyed being a part of is when a core of people do something in-character, and use LFG or the other channels to invite other roleplayers in to join. Sometimes this has been radio, mission, or other content teams, or just a group doing casual RP in a public SG Base setting, such as a bar, billiards club, or shopping center.

 

If the styles and personalities click, then one's circle of roleplay connections grows, and if not, very little is lost.

Edited by Andreah
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Some have mentioned the City of Roleplay's discord channel.    I like DIscord for serveral thing, but channels there seemed lesss effective than a full forum.  It's hard to search, things quickly flow back into the timeline never to be seen again.    If you're trying to find a specific kind of connection, you want a posting method that's more browse-able, search-able, and has more of a persistence.   There's also a certain critical mass needed- you need enough people SEEING it and POSTING in it and GETTING RESULTS in it that it feeds itself and encourages reuse.   Different technologies have different critical masses.    I'm not 100% sure the discord (or the forums here) have enough critical mass to keep it flowing without a very concerted effort by the community to shepherd it along in the early days.



Personally, I've been a fan of virtueverse and our FBSA equivalent for a long time.  Yes, it's mostly used for character profiles of sorts, but a little bit of tagging would make it a great community finder- looking for a supergroup?  An archnemesis?  A Romantic Interest?  A romantic RIVAL?  Looking for a random interaction, but your character has a bunch of potential 'hooks' in their story?   


That method gets past the problem of a post disappearing into history or in page 3 of a 400 page thread or having people find a months-old thread.  Pick the category, see the results.  No longer interested in finding a character's rival, remove the category.  

Unfortunately, the wiki has far fewer people using it than the forums, so reaching a useful critical mass and recruiting more participants would be an even bigger challenge.   The wiki-editing process tends to be a love-hate system, its lack of structure can be daunting, and the anxiety of trying something new and not looking foolish can be rather high.
 

Edited by chase
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13 hours ago, Sarakitteh said:

By the time I found out about it, it was pre-existing. I don't know who made it but it was a whole forum section of its own on a "Roleplayers coalition" community forum.

 

Clearly, it here :: https://forums.homecomingservers.com/forum/48-roleplaying/

 

If someone posts a reply quoting me and I don't reply, they may be on ignore.

(It seems I'm involved with so much at this point that I may not be able to easily retrieve access to all the notifications)

Some players know that I have them on ignore and are likely to make posts knowing that is the case.

But the fact that I have them on ignore won't stop some of them from bullying and harassing people, because some of them love to do it. There is a group that have banded together to target forum posters they don't like. They think that this behavior is acceptable.

Ignore (in the forums) and /ignore (in-game) are tools to improve your gaming experience. Don't feel bad about using them.

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16 hours ago, _Kai_ said:

Definitely not to call you out or anything, but we do have that section, we're in it, it just isn't being used for that right now, but there is no reason a thread couldn't be made and we could get it stickied for Seeking Connections 🙂  And before anyone asks, no I'm not starting it because I haven't even managed to get back to Valerika for RP I owe so am not looking currently for more RP to get behind on and feel guilty about 😄

 

Yeah, I know. I knew it was there.

We are posting in it.

Honestly, I didn't know the thread was in it at that time.

Was trying to nudge for more investigation and activity.

 

I honestly didn't bring up the calendar and posting there or a club because I'm not sure how many people look at those sections.

If someone posts a reply quoting me and I don't reply, they may be on ignore.

(It seems I'm involved with so much at this point that I may not be able to easily retrieve access to all the notifications)

Some players know that I have them on ignore and are likely to make posts knowing that is the case.

But the fact that I have them on ignore won't stop some of them from bullying and harassing people, because some of them love to do it. There is a group that have banded together to target forum posters they don't like. They think that this behavior is acceptable.

Ignore (in the forums) and /ignore (in-game) are tools to improve your gaming experience. Don't feel bad about using them.

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It would be cool to have a meet up on Everlasting. I mean, I know there's going to be players that might not mesh well with my play style but that's okay, I don't mind. Everyone has their own preferences and I'm pretty much okay to vibe with that. We could use better ways to recruit for SG's though and well...I don't really like using discord as much given the privacy issues it has.

Roleplaying mentor volunteer, and mentorship contributor.

Chatrange Popmenu/Where to find me/Beginners Links

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6 hours ago, UltraAlt said:

 

Clearly, it here :: https://forums.homecomingservers.com/forum/48-roleplaying/

 

No, no it is not. I was talking about the forums I mentioned in the original post, which definitely is not the Roleplaying thread here. Also, the Roleplaying thread here is not a thread specifically dedicated to connections, so that makes even less sense.

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I'm going to don my imperial robes and ensconce myself on the dragon throne and make an executive decision. Let's meet at Kallisti under Statesman at 2 EST (11 PST for people in my timezone) Saturday on Everlasting unless any Confucian advisors can convince me otherwise (this hopefully doesn't overlap raids?). Be there, or I will be sadly alone weeping bitter tears at my loneliness. And also you will be square. 

 

Edited since I am dumb and forgot the day

Edited by A Cat
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12 minutes ago, Krimson said:

I would totally head there with my single toon on Everlasting IF I hadn't seen the message 45 minutes after the proposed meeting time. 😄

Shit! I meant Saturday!

 

This is why I never try and organize anything!

Edited by A Cat
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12 hours ago, Sarakitteh said:

No, no it is not. I was talking about the forums I mentioned in the original post, which definitely is not the Roleplaying thread here. Also, the Roleplaying thread here is not a thread specifically dedicated to connections, so that makes even less sense.

 

How to meet new people to RP with?


Sarakitteh

By Sarakitteh,
Saturday at 04:25 PM in Roleplaying

Edited by UltraAlt

If someone posts a reply quoting me and I don't reply, they may be on ignore.

(It seems I'm involved with so much at this point that I may not be able to easily retrieve access to all the notifications)

Some players know that I have them on ignore and are likely to make posts knowing that is the case.

But the fact that I have them on ignore won't stop some of them from bullying and harassing people, because some of them love to do it. There is a group that have banded together to target forum posters they don't like. They think that this behavior is acceptable.

Ignore (in the forums) and /ignore (in-game) are tools to improve your gaming experience. Don't feel bad about using them.

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We have a Roleplaying category on the Homecoming forums, @Sarakitteh was referencing a completely other set of forums somewhere that had a specific topic called Making Connections that had a purpose of putting out information to connect with other people for and asking about something like that for Homecoming in this topic.

 

I was referencing that we don't need a new Roleplaying category on the Homecoming forums because....we already have one.  It could, but does not currently have, a specific Making Connections topic but I do not have the time to start that 🙂

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13 hours ago, A Cat said:

I'm going to don my imperial robes and ensconce myself on the dragon throne and make an executive decision. Let's meet at Kallisti under Statesman at 2 EST (11 PST for people in my timezone) Saturday on Everlasting unless any Confucian advisors can convince me otherwise (this hopefully doesn't overlap raids?). Be there, or I will be sadly alone weeping bitter tears at my loneliness. And also you will be square. 

 

Edited since I am dumb and forgot the day

 

... assuming I remember... and can decide on a character... though I'm not sure what the heck I'd be doing there...

 

I don't tend to fill out what my character is, what they're looking for, motivations, etc. I try to put something up - formerly on virtueverse (though what I had there and what's there now is... interestingly scrambled,) and on FBSA (which is ... mostly names, now,) but I'm horrible at keeping anything relevant updated, and I don't want anyone to think what I mention about a character *there* is somehow locked in stone.

 

My characters are like my builds - they tend to come around fairly organically, and can go from very generic with a sudden bit of inspiration to detailed before I log in, so...

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47 minutes ago, _Kai_ said:

We have a Roleplaying category on the Homecoming forums, @Sarakitteh was referencing a completely other set of forums somewhere that had a specific topic called Making Connections that had a purpose of putting out information to connect with other people for and asking about something like that for Homecoming in this topic.

 

On 8/28/2021 at 4:25 PM, Sarakitteh said:

I played was that the forums had a 'Making Connections' thread, so people could post what they were looking for and others could respond either to that post or by messaging them privately. It would be nice if we had something like that here

If someone posts a reply quoting me and I don't reply, they may be on ignore.

(It seems I'm involved with so much at this point that I may not be able to easily retrieve access to all the notifications)

Some players know that I have them on ignore and are likely to make posts knowing that is the case.

But the fact that I have them on ignore won't stop some of them from bullying and harassing people, because some of them love to do it. There is a group that have banded together to target forum posters they don't like. They think that this behavior is acceptable.

Ignore (in the forums) and /ignore (in-game) are tools to improve your gaming experience. Don't feel bad about using them.

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It's a very difficult thing.

 

If someone posts a reply quoting me and I don't reply, they may be on ignore.

(It seems I'm involved with so much at this point that I may not be able to easily retrieve access to all the notifications)

Some players know that I have them on ignore and are likely to make posts knowing that is the case.

But the fact that I have them on ignore won't stop some of them from bullying and harassing people, because some of them love to do it. There is a group that have banded together to target forum posters they don't like. They think that this behavior is acceptable.

Ignore (in the forums) and /ignore (in-game) are tools to improve your gaming experience. Don't feel bad about using them.

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13 hours ago, UltraAlt said:

It's a very difficult thing.

 

 

Props to you for putting in all that thought and effort. I'm sure your thread will see immense success based on your polite and respectful behavior in this thread.

 

To actually address @Sarakitteh's original question, though, I've personally had struggles with social anxiety that make it hard to really get started RPing with new people, and past experiences with guilds/SGs/etc. have made me highly hesitant to really commit to one. One thing that helped me was something the City of Roleplay Discord was doing a while back, namely Community Story Arcs. The idea was that one (or more) person organized a storyline, and offered a variety of plot hooks for people and their different characters to join in through (such as mystical shenanigans requiring a learned sorcerer, or a trail of murders getting the attention of a street-level hero). Doing this helped me make friends in the CoHRP community and organically develop a new circle of folks to do things with. While there's a recent lull in CoRP's Community Story Arcs as of my writing this (which is not helped by the many stressors of current RL events), the basic principle should still help you get what you're looking for. 

 

Alternatively, the Hero Corps Founder's Falls SG puts on a monthly event on the first Sunday of each month (one of which is actually coming up on Sunday the 5th, the date on the actual event posting there is inaccurate) where players from across the community can group up and do IC runs of AE story arcs that people have put out there (some of the Dev's Choice arcs, for instance, have gotten some spotlight there).

 

Hoping this is helpful, and best of luck to you!

 

 

Edited by Psychopithicus
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