Being Kind

[Rahabina]

17 minutes ago, Snarky said:

Don't hate the player.  Hate the game.

*Gasps*

[momentarygrace]

1 hour ago, Snarky said:

Don't hate the player.  Hate the game.

 

Don't hate the game, hate the gamey! 

 

 

[Luminara]

4 hours ago, Yaliw said:

This forum is embarassing...

 

[catsi563]

2 hours ago, momentarygrace said:

 

Don't hate the game, hate the gamey! 

 

 

Thought id deleted that pic of me after last new years party 

[momentarygrace]

2 hours ago, catsi563 said:

Thought id deleted that pic of me after last new years party 

 

 

[Herah]

On 12/23/2022 at 3:10 PM, SeraphimKensai said:

Teach them to make their own builds rather than giving them a.copy of yours

I don't agree nor disagree with this statement other than to say that Mids makes my eyes go cross. That is the one part of the game I supremely suck at. And as much I love to make new toons, I loathe to kit them out. The time, effort, and brain power involved is better suited to my true talent................faceplanting.

 

Otherwise I agree with the general sentiment. Not that I am against PL'ing anyone, but you churn out a fresh 50 that doesn't know how to play either that toon or the game.

[Snarky]

28 minutes ago, Herah said:

I don't agree nor disagree with this statement other than to say that Mids makes my eyes go cross. That is the one part of the game I supremely suck at. And as much I love to make new toons, I loathe to kit them out. The time, effort, and brain power involved is better suited to my true talent................faceplanting.

 

Otherwise I agree with the general sentiment. Not that I am against PL'ing anyone, but you churn out a fresh 50 that doesn't know how to play either that toon or the game.

Also the current iteration of MiDs is either buggy as hell or extremely fluid with switching options on/off. This makes precision building extremely difficult and requires (for me) seat of the pants building and successive approximations 

[BlackSpectre]

4 hours ago, Herah said:

Not that I am against PL'ing anyone, but you churn out a fresh 50 that doesn't know how to play either that toon or the game.

Yes, this happens... but so what?  The only downside to this is when your team includes one of these players and you NEED to rely on them to play strategically to help keep the team alive.  There's not that many situations in the game where one useless player on a team can not be carried... especially if you're a veteran who has taken the time to design a great build. I don't sweat anything. Who cares if they don't know how to play the game? Let them be. If they care, they'll start asking questions. Otherwise, let people play they way they want, even if it's poorly.  Trying to control others is not a great strategy in any game. Try playing with respect or kindness instead of control.

 

 

[Shred Monkey]

The goal here is to maximize fun.  And the best way to maximize fun is to do absolutely everything you can to make sure everyone else is also having fun.

[kito]

2 hours ago, Shred Monkey said:

The goal here is to maximize fun.  And the best way to maximize fun is to do absolutely everything you can to make sure everyone else is also having fun.

Idk lots of ways I have fun other people do not. I bumped into more then a Few trolls who play about 50% into a TF/SF and Afk or quit. and more then a few Master runs where people wont listen and blaster just need to solo mobs until they die. You cant make other people have fun.  Only person you can control is yourself, if your having fun you will be more helpful and willing to play in a good mood, witch will make other people enjoy playing, They will play more and help more... etc.  I just try to help when I can. Donate inf to people, help them with builds ( i'm in no way great at making builds but mine do ok) PL people when I can and RP always. Works for me but even then I burnout from time to time. not sure I would last more then a month or so at a time If i spent all my time making sure Everyone else had fun. (and I would be in a lot of RP I don't like.)

[Snarky]

1 hour ago, kito said:

You cant make other people have fun.  

Are you sure?  THe good scientists at Crey corporation are helping people become happier right now!

 

[kito]

Ya but it cost them Billions.

[catsi563]

well you know what they say omlettes and eggs and all that

[Ukase]

On 12/23/2022 at 2:10 PM, SeraphimKensai said:

The most toxic thing in the community IMO is people willingly power leveling random people. Although it seems like a nice gesture, it makes for people that don't understand how to get to various zones for running content, and can rob them of experiencing the game. As a result of this, then LFG gets flooded with leeches begging to be power leveled.

 

I'm a farmer sure enough, but I farm only myself, or people that I know to be competent with the game.

 

 

That all said, yes help new people. Show them how to run content, story arcs, take them out of the comfort of the AE or PI and bring them to the Shadow Shard, or Nightward, or running missions in Cimerora, or goldside. Teach them to make their own builds rather than giving them a.copy of yours, encourage self discovery and offer guidance along the way. Teach them to lead their own teams, and take a backseat to their leadership, allow them to stumble and learn.

 

Doing that, is the best way to be kind.

I can go along with everything but the first sentence. You are entitled to your opinion, of course. But I have seen far more toxic things than helping some random stranger skip the lower levels. See? It's all about perspective. Some may see it as denying them the joy of "the struggle", where they learn how to get a new contact, how to acquire enhancements, etc. 
Others see it as being helpful. 

To be transparent, I am not in the habit of letting anyone on my farm maps. Mainly because when I farmed, I would so afk. The typical sitter wants none of that. I just try to answer questions and hand out pvp IOs and the odd super pack from time to time. 

Being nice is difficult though. Some people make it hard to be nice. It doesn't come naturally to me. I'm too busy judging you for your low badge count and/or lack of passive accolades. 

[Zect]

Often, people conflate kindness with niceness or pleasantness. And while there may be overlap in the venn diagrams of these circles, they are far from identical. Personally, I have nothing against kindness, niceness, nor pleasantness. However, I do think people should communicate their needs more clearly. Don't ask people to be kind if you really just want them to be nice or pleasant (which is often a smaller ask anyway).

 

 

[Zect]

On 12/24/2022 at 4:10 AM, SeraphimKensai said:

I'm a farmer sure enough, but I farm only myself, or people that I know to be competent with the game.

 

I love how in the middle of a post allegedly about being kind, you drop this hilariously hypocritical and self-serving double standard.

 

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. If it's OK for one person to be PL'ed, then it's also OK for every other person to be PL'ed. Anything else is discrimination, favoritism or elitism, depending on who's involved and how it's done.

[Snarky]

2 hours ago, Zect said:

Often, people conflate kindness with niceness or pleasantness. And while there may be overlap in the venn diagrams of these circles, they are far from identical. Personally, I have nothing against kindness, niceness, nor pleasantness. However, I do think people should communicate their needs more clearly. Don't ask people to be kind if you really just want them to be nice or pleasant (which is often a smaller ask anyway).

 

 

Can you say that in a gentler way?

[Seed22]

On 12/24/2022 at 10:03 PM, Herah said:

Otherwise I agree with the general sentiment. Not that I am against PL'ing anyone, but you churn out a fresh 50 that doesn't know how to play either that toon or the game.

The hilarious thing about this statement is that people for some odd reason think those leveling know how to play the game. If anything, they're worse.

 

Y'all just get more time to reinforce bad habits/misuse powers. It's the same thing as PL'ing, but actually 10x worse because it's harder to fix than a more malleable/green AE 50 player. I've teamed with countless regular levelers who ruin Mo runs, or don't know how this or that works in a TF that they should have played leveling at one point or another, which is very perplexing.

Edited December 29, 2022 by Seed22

[Neiska]

On 12/26/2022 at 6:41 AM, Zect said:

 

I love how in the middle of a post allegedly about being kind, you drop this hilariously hypocritical and self-serving double standard.

 

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. If it's OK for one person to be PL'ed, then it's also OK for every other person to be PL'ed. Anything else is discrimination, favoritism or elitism, depending on who's involved and how it's done.

 

Um, no, it isn't "DiScRiMiNaTiOn." Discrimination based on what, exactly? Race? Gender? Religion? Preferences? None of those factors come into play, since we are all faceless strangers to one another.

 

Secondly, if a person wants to play with only their friends, or only people in their supergroup, or any other specific group of people for whatever reason, they are entirely allowed to do so. No one is obligated to play with you, or anyone else. If someone helps a friend, they are under no mandatory obligation to then offer that to everyone else. And to suggest that reeks of entitlement that I usually go out of my way NOT to team up or play with. Heck, I have refused to help or team with specific people based on what they have said in general, or how they acted in teams before, or even posted here on the forums. And I am entirely within my ability to do so. To play with whomever I like in whatever manner I choose.

 

This game is an open sandbox. We must do "nothing" aside from share the world. That is all. Now many can and do more, and it is good for a community to do so. But if a person wanted to offer to power level everyone in the game EXCEPT you, then by all rights they could. They don't have to like you, play with you, or put up with another person's BS, and thank God for that. And I take a pretty dim view of someone telling another person what they can or cannot do if they are not a staff member.

[Herah]

Honestly the sad part of the conversation is that for those that know me, none of this even matters. I am generally inclusive of everyone participating in whatever they want or anything I have going. I run a lot of content and I make a point of including whoever wants to join. I'll invite total strangers to my SG and let them use whatever I have so long as they don't take everything and sell it. So to come to the forums and have people accuse me of being elitist or a snob just makes me upset. CoH is a great community for a MMO but I find I have to take longer and longer breaks away from the game. No one is entitled to give or receive a thing, but there sure a lot of gift horses being looked in the mouth.

[InvaderStych]

29 minutes ago, Herah said:

Honestly the sad part of the conversation is that ...

 

... it is happening at all.

[TheZag]

28 minutes ago, Herah said:

for those that know me

 

I know you

 

On 12/24/2022 at 10:03 PM, Herah said:

my true talent................faceplanting

 

Truer words have never been spoken.  Herah can sample the soil within 2 seconds of starting her Hami raid with amazing consistency.

 

[Songseven]

40 minutes ago, Krimson said:

you're never going to see anyone here in game. Even me. I play solo most of the time.

 

i see plenty of people from forums and while i may not agree with everything that is said here, i will team and play with anyone, until of course, they demonstrate its not going to be a pleasant experience to continue doing so, even then i can't imagine keeping up with any exclusion, just seems petty and unimportant when there's usually several more in the groups/leagues to engage with, thus avoiding the issue you probably have entirely,

 

but i certainly would never make that judgement from a forum post..

[Ukase]

On 12/26/2022 at 5:41 AM, Zect said:

 

I love how in the middle of a post allegedly about being kind, you drop this hilariously hypocritical and self-serving double standard.

 

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. If it's OK for one person to be PL'ed, then it's also OK for every other person to be PL'ed. Anything else is discrimination, favoritism or elitism, depending on who's involved and how it's done.

So..here's the reason why I slightly disagree with your statement. 

A new player that hops in a farm is not likely to have a clue how to play their character. There IS a learning curve. It's not terribly steep, but it does exist. Giving these newer players a couple of levels won't hurt much - but some of these "kind" farmers will PL them to 50. Or perhaps more commonly, from 1 to 22-25 or so. 

I've even seen some farmers tell them to get the p2w no inf/2xp buff. So they get all those levels, but have zero influence. Now - a savvy player can either borrow from an alt, or like me - use the market to fund the new character, but a new player will not have any real plan. At least, unless they know someone who can guide them. But even then, being level 50, with nothing but the SOs that dropped during the farm - of which most are already red and useless - all they would have is the loot from selling the SOs and the recipes they got. Thing is - those recipes, if crafted, might be useful to them. But they may not be able to craft them, know where to craft them or know how to craft them. 

They are a useless character until such time that they learn how to outfit their character. So, I definitely would say that It's NOT okay for every other person to be PL'd. 

I'm not saying it's illegal, immoral or fattening, just not a good idea. 

[Snarky]

It is always better to play a toon and learn the powers.  Yet sometimes you just want to hop into the game and be on easy street.  Both are fine.  It is called playing.  Hopefully there will be time to delve deeper into an AT and powersets you love.  
 

Unless a toilet seat from a de orbiting space station hits you at the speed of sound. Then youre gonna look like a jelly donut mess