Anyone a Psychologist who can help explain this to me?

[Replacement]

On 12/27/2019 at 9:24 AM, ZacKing said:

This coming from someone telling me I "look stupid"....

 

Man that isn't what I said not even close.  some people need constant affirmation from others and like I said nothing wrong with it. 

There is nothing wrong with people being offended when you tell them they, personally, need constant affirmation.

 

Here's the kicker: you and @jubakumbi are happy to tell Solarverse what they feel, and what they are after, and yet you reject the notion of him calling shots in a party.

 

I can't be the only person who sees this as hypocrisy.

Edited December 28, 2019 by Replacement

[Frostbiter]

Can we address the important issue of how to pass someone on the interstate? It surprises me how people don't understand the physics involved.

 

They work like this: (This is kind of a dirty explanation but meh) When you approach a vehicle from behind the first thing that happens is as you get close the leading vehicle (henceforth referred to as John Cleese) you begin to create drag on it and John Cleese's engine has to work harder to compensate. Then when you swing out to pass, John Cleese is no longer experiencing the drag created by your vehicle (Eric Idle from here on) and Eric Idle experiences a loss in power due to the engine suddenly having to pull the full weight of  Eric Idle again. As you overtake John Cleese, Cleese's engine and Eric Idle's engines begin working in tandem with each other to pull the weight of both vehicles. As Idle draws even with Cleese its Cleese's engines that take most of the drag from both vehicles and Idle's engine is not working as hard to maintain the same speed. This causes both vehicles to achieve an almost equilibrium of speed. At this point Idle's engine is not working as hard as Cleese's and eventually it will overtake Cleese enough to suddenly cause Idle to take the majority of the work, easing the burden on Cleese's engine and causing it to maintain an almost equilibrium with Idle's. This can continue back and forth until one vehicle applies enough force to pull far enough ahead that both engines return to only pulling their own weight. In other words, you can't pass someone without having to accelerate beyond them! Just be careful because if you pull back into the same lane as them without a good leading distance you will begin to drag them and they will catch up.

[Snarky]

13 hours ago, boggo2300 said:

having been first on the scene at a suicide by semi, it's also not the safest way to get the lawsuit,  a normal vehicle is little more than a speed bump to a semi at highway speeds

It is even more dangerous than people might imagine. The semi is articulated. It bends. If you rapidly decelerate the semi the Trailer WILL jack knife. Very few things can kill a driver crashing a semi slowly on freeway traffic. Jack knife the rig?  You are screwed. So truckers are trained to maintain awareness and not lock up or decelerate swerve or act crazy. So yes the car in front becomes a crumple zone. If it is a kid on a bicycle the i would probably sacrifice the semi and sigh my safety. If it is some random crazy driver?  I will stop as fast as i can without jackknifing (not that fast)

[ZacKing]

16 minutes ago, Replacement said:

There is nothing wrong with people being offended when you tell them they, personally, need constant affirmation.

 

Here's the kicker: you and @jubakumbi are happy to tell Solarverse what they feel, and what they are after, and yet you reject the notion of him calling shots in a party.

 

I can't be there only person who sees this as hypocrisy.

I understand people can get offended,  this is why I clarified I was not attacking him simply calling it as I see it.  I also never said he shouldn't run teams how he wants to. 

[Solarverse]

32 minutes ago, ZacKing said:

This coming from someone telling me I "look stupid"....

 

Man that isn't what I said not even close.  some people need constant affirmation from others and like I said nothing wrong with it. 

I disagree. Somebody who needs constant affirmation from others has their own issues going on and I wish them well, for they need to learn to build self confidence. Fortunately for me, this is not me, I just don't really want to spend anymore of my time in this thread trying to convince you otherwise. I feel like you have an opinion of me that is set pretty hard in stone. Convincing you otherwise would require more time than I have available. I don't know if this is because you read me wrong, or if you read other things that others have said and logged that into memory. Either way, I digress.

 

However, I do appreciate you answering my primary question. I respect your right to disagree and it's nice to know why you disagree. So thank you for that.

[jubakumbi]

Hm.

So OP asks 'why?' people do a thing.

OP makes it plain this is not 'old school' gaming and that people who don't say 'I was wrong' are somehow 'wrong' and wants a 'psychological study'.

Answers are given, mostly 'that is how people are'.

 

Some ask the OP 'why?', thinking based on statements, validation is desired, in addition to a supposed 'need to know'.

It is possible to infer deeper intent, correctly or not, and the 'feelings' behind forum posts, after all.

 

OP, IME, has constantly berated and insulted on this forum in the same way, through insinuation that anyone not do things their way is 'wrong' or 'bad'.

We are very 'bad' for not celebrating the 4th of July in Paragon, for example.

Some people like me point out the OPs statements of 'the way things are and should be' are just opinion, not cultural norms to be worshipped, knowing it makes no real difference, any more than the OPs outlook does.

 

Oh, there was snark, it's a game forum, let's not forget the snark.

Not a court of law, not a real life gathering, just a random game forum with random humans on the Internet.

 

No one here has any real authority over anyone else here, unless we have some elected officials or something in the thread.

 

My outlook, the outlook of other posters, and that of the OP are all just manifestations of our own personal delusions.

The only victims here are the wasted electrons.

 

As far as the physics of cutting off a semi are concerned, anyone that puts the lives of everyone around them at risk due to their own internal time-table should not be allowed the privilege of a driver's license, IMO.

Drive calm, drive happy.

 

Happy Holidays! 🎄

[Solarverse]

17 minutes ago, jubakumbi said:

Happy Holidays! 🎄

Happy Holidays indeed.  🙂

[siolfir]

47 minutes ago, jubakumbi said:

The only victims here are the wasted electrons.

A moment of silence for those poor, sacrificed electrons. 

[jubakumbi]

and...

 

https://pairedlife.com/etiquette/why-friends-dont-listen

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/do-the-right-thing/201407/giving-people-advice-rarely-works-does

https://www.philcooke.com/stop-giving-advice-to-people-who-dont-ask-for-it/

https://www.lingholic.com/people-dont-listen-advice/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/blamestorming/201506/why-people-may-not-want-your-advice

 

Just a handful from a simple search, no certified professional needed to find information.

 

PS: https://www.udot.utah.gov/trucksmart/motorist-home/dont-cut-off-a-truck/

 

[Solarverse]

33 minutes ago, jubakumbi said:

and...

 

https://pairedlife.com/etiquette/why-friends-dont-listen

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/do-the-right-thing/201407/giving-people-advice-rarely-works-does

https://www.philcooke.com/stop-giving-advice-to-people-who-dont-ask-for-it/

https://www.lingholic.com/people-dont-listen-advice/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/blamestorming/201506/why-people-may-not-want-your-advice

 

Just a handful from a simple search, no certified professional needed to find information.

 

PS: https://www.udot.utah.gov/trucksmart/motorist-home/dont-cut-off-a-truck/

 

Yeah, but then I wouldn't be able to have these such wonderful discussions with you.  😄

Edited December 27, 2019 by Solarverse

[ZacKing]

2 hours ago, Solarverse said:

I disagree. Somebody who needs constant affirmation from others has their own issues going on and I wish them well, for they need to learn to build self confidence. Fortunately for me, this is not me, I just don't really want to spend anymore of my time in this thread trying to convince you otherwise. I feel like you have an opinion of me that is set pretty hard in stone. Convincing you otherwise would require more time than I have available. I don't know if this is because you read me wrong, or if you read other things that others have said and logged that into memory. Either way, I digress.

 

However, I do appreciate you answering my primary question. I respect your right to disagree and it's nice to know why you disagree. So thank you for that.

No doubt there is an element of reading your posts wrong on my part.  always difficult to converse on internet forums vs in person.  a lot gets missed.  No hard feelings here or any toward you personally.

[Snarky]

I thought this topic was about passing people... you are trying to get other human being to listen to you and follow instructions?  Wow

 

on the bright side if you find out how to do it you can market it to the US Army. They have people that volunteer   They pay them. They put them in a focused environment ( boot camp) and they still have a horrid time getting oeople to pay attention and follow instructions

 

i think we need to talk with Crey Industries about a possible solution. Now dont get riled up i am not talking about invasive surgical procedures.  I am sure there is a safe non toxic environmental friendly chemical agent that will do the trick.  Anyone have the Countess on speed dial?

Edited December 27, 2019 by Snarky

[HelBlaiz]

Might I suggest the cool refreshing taste of Enriche?

[Solarverse]

@Snarky No, sir. That is not what this thread is about at all.

[Solarverse]

@Snarky and @MetaVileTerror

 

I'm not sure why you are confused. Not once have you read anything from me that indicates that I want to know how to make people listen to me...not once. Your confusion actually confuses me as to how you could possibly be confused.

 

This thread is about me trying to find out the psychology behind people A; Ignoring advice, particularly good advice... (of all types. How many times has your mother or father given you advice that you ignored? Me, lots of times...even though it was good advice and even though in hind sight, I should have listened)

 

B: What is the psychology to the reasons that we as humans, will seldom recognize that perhaps we should have listened to that advice and admit to the person giving it, that it would have been in our best interest to had taken that advice. This applies to all situations, not just in game. And this applies to al humans, including myself, not just my team mates who did not heed my warning. 

 

I used my team as an example. I could use many things that has happened in this game or in life as an example. For example, a female friend of mine decided to date a notorious jerk who was also a career criminal. She was nothing like him, had nothing in common with him, and he was nothing but trouble for her. In essence, he was pure garbage. I and many of our mutual friends had warned her that this was a bad idea, and even told her what the end outcome of this relationship would be. Yet, even after all of our warnings, she did it anyway and suffered dearly for it. He knocked her up, then went off to prison after claiming the kids weren't his. he got out of prison 6 years later and was shot and killed by somebody he had done wrong. The guy was a waste of life, and he brought nothing but misery to hers. We all warned her of this, yet she ignored our warnings and she never once said to any of us, "You guys were right...I sooo should have listened."

 

Did we expect her to listen to us? No, we knew we were basically wasting our breaths because...people.

 

Did we expect her to tells us we were right? No, we knew that would never happen, because...people.

 

However, some of us (although not many) can put our pride aside and give recognition to those who warned us. Why? Because we have learned to let that pride go. I believe it is the same pride that prevents people from saying they are sorry, even when they know they were in the wrong. For example, I thought one poster claimed that I was aggressive in this thread...after learning that he did not say that, and he was speaking purely about one post and not the thread, I had no issues saying that I was sorry. Why? Because I did not let my pride get in the way. However, again...not many people can do this. It's rare from my perspective and....back to the meaning of this thread...I simply wished to know the psychology behind why.

 

Hope this clears up your confusion.

[boggo2300]

6 hours ago, Snarky said:

It is even more dangerous than people might imagine. The semi is articulated. It bends. If you rapidly decelerate the semi the Trailer WILL jack knife. Very few things can kill a driver crashing a semi slowly on freeway traffic. Jack knife the rig?  You are screwed. So truckers are trained to maintain awareness and not lock up or decelerate swerve or act crazy. So yes the car in front becomes a crumple zone. If it is a kid on a bicycle the i would probably sacrifice the semi and sigh my safety. If it is some random crazy driver?  I will stop as fast as i can without jackknifing (not that fast)

It''s also incredibly unfair to the driver of the Semi, as the poor sod has to live with something completely not their fault, but the guy I met, well he hasn't driven anything at all since even though he did everything right, hell he has the coroners court finding to prove it, but I don't think that really helps with the undeserved guilt

[Solarverse]

@MetaVileTerror Sorry you are still confused. I've explained it the best I could.

[Llewellyn Blackwell]

On 12/26/2019 at 2:07 PM, Snarky said:

As long as we are looking for deeper meanin... when someone is going 48 on a smooth clear freeway so i get my semi over to pass them. Why why why do they soeed up to 60 almost always.  No really. Why ?

Well Since you are askin, and brought up your profession Ill tell ya but its not going to be a pretty response be fair warned.

 

I have numerous close family members and had close friends among the trucking community, and the following is in their own words almost identical out of each of their mouths describing those among their profession. Truckers are the most dangerous, self centered, me me me drivers on the road. They are all about the time is money, 9 out of every 10 are on meth or coke, and the other one is either drunk or smoking pot while driving. They will avoid stopping whenever possible, skip weigh stations and doctor their logs, cut people off without a seconds thought, and warn each other about cops locations and speed traps at every opportunity to be the foxes out smarting the hounds.

 

These are basically univeral truths that every trucker Ive known talks about freely among their brethren and close friends/family and do so with a certain pride and zest as if it makes them wild outlaws.

 

Since these things to some extent are also part of the infamous reputation of truckers. many drivers are wary and defensive around truckers.

 

Now I am not saying you actually come under any of the above, maybe your the exception to the rule, pure as the dope your fellow truckers favor and are blissfully unaware of the reputation of truckers.

[Llewellyn Blackwell]

On 12/25/2019 at 2:24 PM, Solarverse said:

So, this happens all of the time, on many different levels. You try and warn your team of something, not a single one of them listens to you, and then it happens just as you said it would. It happens all of the time. And once it happens, not a single person will say, "Damn, you were right, I should have listened."

 

Now, I noticed that we had a Widow on our Team for the Posi Part 1 grand fight at the end. I knew that the Widow would blind the team if we did not take her out first. So I warned the team and asked them to kill her first. I was lead of this team.

 

Here is an example, a direct copy paste from game chat to here. I will be changing names to protect those involved.

 

[Team] Me: Take out Player A first
[Team] Me: She will bind the team

 

After none of them follow instructions...the Widow blinded the whole team except for me, I was ranged and kept my distance from the Widow.

 

[Team] Player 2: I'm blinded lol
[Team] Player 3: SAME
[Team] Me: Tried to warn ya
[Team] Player 4: pop a yellow
[Team] Player 3: caps
[Team] Player 5: still blind
 

We finished the mission, said our farewells and that was it. Not a single player listened, not a single player admitted they should have listened.

 

Now, before I even said a word, I knew that not one single person would listen to me. It almost never fails, anytime I warn my teams of things to come, this is the norm. However, in hopes that at least one of them would listen, I spoke up and warned them.

 

So what is the psychology of this? Somebody explain this to me, please?

 Now for the meat of this thread the OP.

 

I myself lead TFs actively and have done so since way back in the early years of live. My first 6 months or so of leading, after I had completed my first AV solo killing scrapper I lead TFs to basically ghost off from the team on the final mish and take out the AV before they usually could get close. This was almost universally disliked, and gained me infamy and animosity. People did not want to be made to feel extraneous and just there as bodies to get the TF going and make getting to the final mish faster so I could fuel my ego and hog the fun and glory of defeating an AV.

 

I then had to as the Last Son of Krypton did in a film of my early childhood confront the dark side of my psyche, take hold of my ego, my pride, my revelry in the power I had that so many did not that I now used to abuse and mistreat by the throat, bare it to the ground, drag it into the raging torrent and drown it so I could become a true leader.

 

Now lets unpack the small amounts of info you have given us, that I know you think make you seem good and blameless and show how you are in need of the same internal battle and mayhap arm you with the will to win out over your darker nature.

 

First you point out that your the Lead, then admit you hang back and do not take point. No matter your AT, no matter the build the nature of alpha/beta psychology means people will not respond to, nor respect those who do not lead by being the tip of the charge. Hence why my main and the namesake of my forum handle as a blaster still always is first into the fray, that even tanks,brutes, and scrappers struggle to keep up with me because I a never hesitate, slow, nor expect anyone else to take a risk greater then myself.

 

Now lets look at your admitted lack of verbal interaction. As a TF leader I always begin every TF by stating I do not micromanage, I do not know nor can play your toon better then you( even if this isnt always true especially with ATs and power sets Im highly skilled with)) there may be moments on this TF where specific tactics like ghosting to the end room and recalling or the like will greatly speed up the run, and all I ask is when such moments come please try your best to stick to such plans.

 

By making such a statement I have extended a hand of respect, showing them I trust each of them to do their best and am asking for the same respect and trust in turn. Not demanding it nor acting like because I have the star I am entitled to their subordination. After every mission I will say well done, and if I saw anything note worthy done by a player like recalling a down ally and rezzing them, jumping to the aid of a ally in dire straights and taking a share of their aggro, things I as a leader try to always be paying attention to, I call it out and say good job, and in general say well done and well fought team after every mission. I do this to keep up morale, and make everyone feel I am not just a mastermind treating them as mindless minions.

 

This why your warning, which was in fact an order you gave and simply expected to be followed, and treated being ignored as a them problem instead of a  you problem likely seems to occur for you so often. Then you come here basically complaining that time and again poor you try to give direction and are ignored and never do any of the poor fools show a sign of recognition of your wisdom and skillfully leadership.

 

You want people, strangers to give your words consideration, to follow your directions, to trust what you say, then you must first show the same to those you wish to follow you. The fact you basically admit you have no faith in others, and expect them to ignore you and see that as their failing and not yours is exactly why you are experiencing this consistent failure to lead.

 

Stop trying to be a Zodd and start trying to be an El!

[Solarverse]

@Bentley Berkeley Although I don't *think* that's what I am doing, or at least I don't mean for it to seem that way, I will say I loved your post! Good read and fun to read as well.  🙂

[Snarky]

4 hours ago, Bentley Berkeley said:

Well Since you are askin, and brought up your profession Ill tell ya but its not going to be a pretty response be fair warned.

 

I have numerous close family members and had close friends among the trucking community, and the following is in their own words almost identical out of each of their mouths describing those among their profession. Truckers are the most dangerous, self centered, me me me drivers on the road. They are all about the time is money, 9 out of every 10 are on meth or coke, and the other one is either drunk or smoking pot while driving. They will avoid stopping whenever possible, skip weigh stations and doctor their logs, cut people off without a seconds thought, and warn each other about cops locations and speed traps at every opportunity to be the foxes out smarting the hounds.

 

These are basically univeral truths that every trucker Ive known talks about freely among their brethren and close friends/family and do so with a certain pride and zest as if it makes them wild outlaws.

 

Since these things to some extent are also part of the infamous reputation of truckers. many drivers are wary and defensive around truckers.

 

Now I am not saying you actually come under any of the above, maybe your the exception to the rule, pure as the dope your fellow truckers favor and are blissfully unaware of the reputation of truckers.

Soooo. You live in 1970?  You should hop in Ouro. We got 50 years of advances done. First. I get paid by the hour. I drive local in the greater Portland Vancouver area.  All trucks are now required to have electronic logs. Paper logs are about 99% phased out. There us so much drug screening in the trucking community that you obviously would not believe it. I am not even going to try to convince you. You have all the sources you cited. I am just a Snarky voice on the web.

 

But to be clear about my situation. I get paid by the hour not the mile. I still do not want to do 45 on a freeway with no traffic. That creates hazards to those who are following me due to passing and causing frustration among those behind me. I am not a great driver. I am a good driver trying to make money

 

i just really hate slow people who have no idea how to use a freeway. They are constipaters

[boggo2300]

7 minutes ago, Snarky said:

Soooo. You live in 1970?  You should hop in Ouro. We got 50 years of advances done. First. I get paid by the hour. I drive local in the greater Portland Vancouver area.  All trucks are now required to have electronic logs. Paper logs are about 99% phased out. There us so much drug screening in the trucking community that you obviously would not believe it. I am not even going to try to convince you. You have all the sources you cited. I am just a Snarky voice on the web.

 

But to be clear about my situation. I get paid by the hour not the mile. I still do not want to do 45 on a freeway with no traffic. That creates hazards to those who are following me due to passing and causing frustration among those behind me. I am not a great driver. I am a good driver trying to make money

 

i just really hate slow people who have no idea how to use a freeway. They are constipaters

I have to agree with you here Snarky,  no truck driver I've spoken to in the last 15 years has come under ANY of those stereotypes

[Solarverse]

4 hours ago, boggo2300 said:

I have to agree with you here Snarky,  no truck driver I've spoken to in the last 15 years has come under ANY of those stereotypes

I used to date a truck driver and the rules and regulations she had to follow were extremely strict. She was constantly under pressure to find a place to park before her road time was up, if she failed to do so she risked losing her job and fines. Often finding a place to park was difficult because all the truck stops were full, sometimes forcing her to park off the side of the road, which in many cities is illegal. Lucky for most truck drivers, the police understand and don't mes with them too much about it. There was no such a thing as mudding the logs for her. That simply was not an option.

Most companies also govern the spees of the simi's they provide. So speeding isn't typically an option either, since most of the simi's won't even do freeway/interstate speed limits.

[Wavicle]

Just like with playing music, when playing multiplayer games, if someone is listening is the difference between mediocrity and excellence.  In the game, it's the difference between true superheroes and scrubs.  The player is always more important than the powersets or build.

[Myrmidon]

Verse, here is you answer.