The server's down because...

[Techwright]

54 minutes ago, GM Crumpet said:

My puppy (he's 9 now) loved wires. He was in the garage and stripped every wire off the lawnmower

 

We had a dog like that back in our childhood.  It was Christmas Eve, the dog was  in our fenced-in front yard for a little while, as we were in the living room doing traditional Christmas things.  Dad was reading aloud and we suddenly heard a loud electrical sizzle and ZOT! immediately followed by YIPE! YIPE! YIPE! YIPE! Away to the window we kids flew like a flash, when our Dad highly annoyed at being interrupted bellowed "Sit down! He's fine!" The dog had been attracted to the Christmas lights wiring we had strung across the front bushes, and decided to sample some. 

 

No worries, the dog was indeed fine, just, um, shocked.  He never messed with those decorations again,

[Snarky]

31 minutes ago, Techwright said:

 

We had a dog like that back in our childhood.  It was Christmas Eve, the dog was  in our fenced-in front yard for a little while, as we were in the living room doing traditional Christmas things.  Dad was reading aloud and we suddenly heard a loud electrical sizzle and ZOT! immediately followed by YIPE! YIPE! YIPE! YIPE! Away to the window we kids flew like a flash, when our Dad highly annoyed at being interrupted bellowed "Sit down! He's fine!" The dog had been attracted to the Christmas lights wiring we had strung across the front bushes, and decided to sample some. 

 

No worries, the dog was indeed fine, just, um, shocked.  He never messed with those decorations again,

you say the dog is fine....

[WanderingAries]

*sneaks into server room, snaps a picture*

 

[Ironblade]

On 7/29/2024 at 3:58 AM, Snarky said:

Look, I know they say call the power company before you dig.  You do realize how many of these bodies I have to get rid of right?  Calling the government before I plant each one seems….counterproductive.

 

I heard . . . um somewhere . . that a pen of hogs can devour a human body in minutes.

[lemming]

2 hours ago, Ironblade said:

 

I heard . . . um somewhere . . that a pen of hogs can devour a human body in minutes.

You got to take care of the teeth first.  (or so I read...)

[Nerio72]

C'mon guys don't...lye. 😉😉

[BZRKR]

On 7/29/2024 at 2:58 AM, Snarky said:

Look, I know they say call the power company before you dig.  You do realize how many of these bodies I have to get rid of right?  Calling the government before I plant each one seems….counterproductive.

It just says "Call", not that you have to talk to anyone. Call the number, then immediately hang up. Civic duty fulfilled at maximum efficiency!

[Luminara]

19 hours ago, lemming said:

You got to take care of the teeth first.  (or so I read...)

 

Thicker bones would also present a forensic problem.  They'll crack open bones for the marrow, and swallow smaller or thinner bones, but they typically refuse to eat larger bone fragments, even if they're very hungry.  And in the process of rooting for other food, they'll scatter the bones/fragments across a wide area (up to ~2.5 square miles).  It would be like shoving the body into a wood chipper and blowing it all over your property.  The soft tissues might not be there when the cops show up to ask where SoAndSo is, but the hard tissues would, and they would find them.

 

They also won't eat hair, and hair takes a long time to decompose in nature.

Edited July 31 by Luminara

[Mopery]

"There's a reason for Tommy's newfound enthusiasm for firearms.

Sooner or later, in the unlicensed boxing world, you're gonna have to deal with that reason: Brick Top." -Turkish

 

[Techwright]

1 hour ago, Luminara said:

 

Thicker bones would also present a forensic problem.  They'll crack open bones for the marrow, and swallow smaller or thinner bones, but they typically refuse to eat larger bone fragments, even if they're very hungry.  And in the process of rooting for other food, they'll scatter the bones/fragments across a wide area (up to ~2.5 square miles).  It would be like shoving the body into a wood chipper and blowing it all over your property.  The soft tissues might not be there when the cops show up to ask where SoAndSo is, but the hard tissues would, and they would find them.

 

They also won't eat hair, and hair takes a long time to decompose in nature.

 

You are surprisingly well-versed in the details of this horror.   I am profoundly grateful I no longer live in pig country, and that this discussion is in cyberspace.

[Luminara]

23 minutes ago, Techwright said:

You are surprisingly well-versed in the details of this horror.

 

Forensic pathology is one of my special interests.

[lemming]

4 hours ago, Luminara said:

 

Thicker bones would also present a forensic problem.  They'll crack open bones for the marrow, and swallow smaller or thinner bones, but they typically refuse to eat larger bone fragments, even if they're very hungry.  And in the process of looking for rooting for other food, they'll scatter the bones/fragments across a wide area (up to ~2.5 square miles).  It would be like shoving the body into a wood chipper and blowing it all over your property.  The soft tissues might not be there when the cops show up to ask where SoAndSo is, but the hard tissues would, and they would find them.

 

They also won't eat hair, and hair takes a long time to decompose in nature.

Yea, back when I used to work with coroners, there was a case of someone slicing the bones and scattering the bits in the backyard.  Apparently, it was a very long jigsaw puzzle, but they got it together.   (would have been before 1987)

Hmm, not sure if the body in the sewage hopper ever got identified.  Only reason I knew about it was it needed a couple special configurations in the program...

[Bionic_Flea]

*begins monitoring Luminara and Lemming . . . just in case*

[Luminara]

11 hours ago, lemming said:

Yea, back when I used to work with coroners, there was a case of someone slicing the bones and scattering the bits in the backyard.  Apparently, it was a very long jigsaw puzzle, but they got it together.

 

We can reassemble fossilized bone fragments which are hundreds of millions of years old, deformed by geological processes, sometimes reduced to little more than tiny shards and frequently scattered over a wide area, and pull DNA out of bones which are 2,000,000 years old, and murderers think they're outwitting forensic specialists.

 

The unemployment index in the evil super-genius sector is at 100%.

[Luminara]

1 hour ago, Bionic_Flea said:

*begins monitoring Luminara and Lemming . . . just in case*

 

I'm too lazy to finish building a small dam to run a ram pump so I can have running water in my cabin, or even set up a sluice to divert water to a container.  I'm damn sure not putting in the effort to bury a body deep enough to conceal a murder.

 

[Bionic_Flea]

Well, of course you'd say that . . . here . . . in public . . .

 

*escalates observation protocols*

 

[Bionic_Flea]

1 hour ago, Luminara said:

We can reassemble fossilized bone fragments which are hundreds of millions of years old, deformed by geological processes, sometimes reduced to little more than tiny shards and frequently scattered over a wide area, and pull DNA out of bones which are 2,000,000 years old, and murderers think they're outwitting forensic specialists.

 

Well, sometimes we do that better than other times:

 

[catsi563]

1 hour ago, Bionic_Flea said:

 

Well, sometimes we do that better than other times:

 

you shoudlve seen the chaos I unleashed when i replaced Sues Shin bone with a Brachiosaurus ulna as a prank

 

the paleontologists practically went to war over the re classification

[lemming]

4 hours ago, Bionic_Flea said:

*begins monitoring Luminara and Lemming . . . just in case*

Yea, we know what lengths you need to go thru for proper body disposal, and I'm too lazy and poor to do that.

[Luminara]

1 hour ago, Bionic_Flea said:

*escalates observation protocols*

 

I have ~50 cats.  You'll never beat me in a stare-down.