Them.

[Luminara]

Worry not, my fellow conspirators, I've taken steps to ensure that they cannot read this.  We may speak freely.  Now, down to business.

 

As you will all recall, some years ago, a concern about undesirable elements was raised, that they might disrupt our plans for a New World Order.  After prolonged discussion, we agreed that the best approach would be to welcome them, embrace them like brothers and sisters, and make them feel comfortable in our regime... only to lower their guards so we could implement a years-long insidious plot to drive them away.  It would require patience, perseverance, cunning and deception the likes of which many cannot imagine possible, but nothing which was not within our capabilities.

 

From the outset, we would adopt and maintain identities as "the HC team", each of us posing as different members of a fictional development organization, so none of what we were doing could be traced back to us.  Under the guise of "the HC team", we would garner "donations", which we would pocket (faith, comrades, in another century or two, we'll all be millionaires).  We would implement minute adjustments and alterations to the game, specifically targeted at them, designed to frustrate and anger them, to make their experience in the game, their approaches to playing, so infuriating that they would leave.

 

My loyal friends, I am pleased to report that the plan about which I just diabolically monologued is working.  They are displeased.  In another decade or three, they will all become so irritated that they will abandon the game, spending the rest of their lives wishing they had never picked it up again.

 

However, some have asked why we did not simply refuse their petitions to join us.  Why we did not take the expedient route of shutting off all XP and inf* in  Architect content and implement timers to everything which could be farmed.  Why we could not just as easily make badges unobtainable.  Why we bothered to create a thriving and stable economy when we could have turned it into a hyper-inflated mess right away.  Why we improve powers and sets when we should be nerfing.  Why, essentially, we did not make them unwelcome in the first place, ban them, destroy what they loved and deny them the happiness they sought, rather than bother with a plan which would take decades to reach culmination and take up so much of our infinitely valuable free time.

 

Well, the people who asked those questions are buried in our mango grove in Antarctica, because they were stupid questions.  We are an Evil Organization, we use obscenely intricate plans with numerous failure points to create schemes which otherwise would only exist in fiction.  This is how we do things.  Remember that, or you, too, will disappear to become mango mulch.

 

It has, however, come to my attention that some of them have begun to see through our clever plot and question the validity of our fictional personas, their motives and, surprisingly, even suspect that there might be a secret organization behind all of their misery.  Go out, then, and sow discord amongst them.  Keep them rattled by comforting and reassuring them, even as you scheme and plot behind their backs.  Shake the very foundations of their belief in reality, so they may never know our true sinister purpose.

 

Stay the course.

 

And if anyone blabs, I'll eat your babies.

 

As ever,

Your Evil Overlord

[Tachstar]

[Parabola]

Sadly this makes more sense than a lot of what I've read here recently...

[gamingglen]

I'll start the chant...

 

US US US US US US US US US US US US US

[catsi563]

*push giant  barrel of gunpoweder with lit fuse onto stage*

 

=O_o=

 

*tap dance offstage*

[InvaderStych]

In before Tod Browning clips start appearing in the thread.

[High_Beam]

49 minutes ago, Tachstar said:

That version had an exclamation point.  Great film

 

Pat Medford was a female icon if you ask me.

 

Mmmm.  Sweet Formic Acid.

[Sanguinesun]

1 hour ago, Luminara said:

Worry not, my fellow conspirators, I've taken steps to ensure that they cannot read this.  We may speak freely.  Now, down to business.

 

As you will all recall, some years ago, a concern about undesirable elements was raised, that they might disrupt our plans for a New World Order.  After prolonged discussion, we agreed that the best approach would be to welcome them, embrace them like brothers and sisters, and make them feel comfortable in our regime... only to lower their guards so we could implement a years-long insidious plot to drive them away.  It would require patience, perseverance, cunning and deception the likes of which many cannot imagine possible, but nothing which was not within our capabilities.

 

From the outset, we would adopt and maintain identities as "the HC team", each of us posing as different members of a fictional development organization, so none of what we were doing could be traced back to us.  Under the guise of "the HC team", we would garner "donations", which we would pocket (faith, comrades, in another century or two, we'll all be millionaires).  We would implement minute adjustments and alterations to the game, specifically targeted at them, designed to frustrate and anger them, to make their experience in the game, their approaches to playing, so infuriating that they would leave.

 

My loyal friends, I am pleased to report that the plan about which I just diabolically monologued is working.  They are displeased.  In another decade or three, they will all become so irritated that they will abandon the game, spending the rest of their lives wishing they had never picked it up again.

 

However, some have asked why we did not simply refuse their petitions to join us.  Why we did not take the expedient route of shutting off all XP and inf* in  Architect content and implement timers to everything which could be farmed.  Why we could not just as easily make badges unobtainable.  Why we bothered to create a thriving and stable economy when we could have turned it into a hyper-inflated mess right away.  Why we improve powers and sets when we should be nerfing.  Why, essentially, we did not make them unwelcome in the first place, ban them, destroy what they loved and deny them the happiness they sought, rather than bother with a plan which would take decades to reach culmination and take up so much of our infinitely valuable free time.

 

Well, the people who asked those questions are buried in our mango grove in Antarctica, because they were stupid questions.  We are an Evil Organization, we use obscenely intricate plans with numerous failure points to create schemes which otherwise would only exist in fiction.  This is how we do things.  Remember that, or you, too, will disappear to become mango mulch.

 

It has, however, come to my attention that some of them have begun to see through our clever plot and question the validity of our fictional personas, their motives and, surprisingly, even suspect that there might be a secret organization behind all of their misery.  Go out, then, and sow discord amongst them.  Keep them rattled by comforting and reassuring them, even as you scheme and plot behind their backs.  Shake the very foundations of their belief in reality, so they may never know our true sinister purpose.

 

Stay the course.

 

And if anyone blabs, I'll eat your babies.

 

As ever,

Your Evil Overlord

 

Will there be a Mock-you-mentary  to follow on YouRube?

[Luminara]

14 minutes ago, Sanguinesun said:

 

Will there be a Mock-you-mentary  to follow on YouRube?

 

We're going to stream it on Twatch.

[Six-Six]

Wait, I clicked on this thread thinking it was going to be about pronouns and gender bias. 

Ah, screw it... all of yous.

[Sanguinesun]

36 minutes ago, Luminara said:

 

We're going to stream it on Twatch.

 

 

Ah yes, I'm sure the interest and participation in such streams would be golden.

[Snarky]

Immanentize the Eshaton!

[Luminara]

40 minutes ago, Six-Six said:

Wait, I clicked on this thread thinking it was going to be about pronouns and gender bias. 

 

That's a different organization.  Evil Organization is the one that put the "EEE!  AYIE!  EEE!  AYIE!  OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!" in Old MacDonald.

[biostem]

And here I thought this was a thread about that classic horror/sci-fi movie with the giant ants...

Edited October 12, 2022 by biostem

[Tachstar]

Don't see the fnord. Don't see the fnord.

[Luminara]

12 minutes ago, biostem said:

And here I thought this was a thread about that classic horror/sci-fi movie with the giant ants...

 

"Sci-fi".  Exactly.  No-one knows it was a documentary, thanks to us.

 

Continue the good work!

[InvaderStych]

19 minutes ago, Luminara said:

No-one knows it was a documentary, thanks to us.

 

A few minutes ago I searched on YT for the National Parks Conservation Association - I got three letters into 'Conservation' and was immediately served "National Parks Conspiracy Documentary" as the first suggested result.

 

I blame you. This is all your fault.

 

🤣

Edited October 12, 2022 by InvaderStych
extra words removed

[Luminara]

1 minute ago, InvaderStych said:

 

A few minutes ago I searched on YT page for the National Parks Conservation Association a few moments ago; I got three letters into 'Conservation' and was immediately served "National Parks Conspiracy Documentary" as the first suggested result.

 

I blame you. This is all your fault.

 

🤣

 

Goddamn it, we're going to have to move Antarctica again.

[momentarygrace]

[electric_emu]

Will you at least share the Antarctican mangos?

[PeregrineFalcon]

41 minutes ago, Luminara said:

Goddamn it, we're going to have to move Antarctica again.

[Mezmera]

[MoonSheep]

was this ghost written by @Ukase? 😛

[Luminara]

4 hours ago, PeregrineFalcon said:

 

That's why we put the mango grove there.  Ask the people who asked too many questions... oh, wait.

[Bionic_Flea]

5 hours ago, biostem said:

And here I thought this was a thread about that classic horror/sci-fi movie with the giant ants...