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Why do enemy lairs/bases omit toilets?


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We have toilets in our own bases, and also in many civilian and municipal buildings.  There's even a famous one in Grandville where some guy seems to be suffering from the effects of the previous evening's phall.

 

But whenever we go into an enemy base or lair, inhabited by those we must "defeat", they seem to have no sanitary facilities whatsoever.

 

I understand that perhaps some of ghosts and demonic presences such as found amongst the Circle of Thorns may not require what we euphemistically refer to as "comfort breaks" but most of our adversaries are entirely human and thus I'd presume, have the same requirements that we all do.

 

What the hell do Warwolves do?

 

How do the Carnies manage?

 

Are we to assume that Archvillains never get taken short?

 

We have to do a significant number of missions in sewers, so it is not unreasonable to presume that ordure from billain bases should have at least rudimentary connections to them...

 

but these are significant issues and one must conclude that generally most of those responsible for designing enemy bases are a bit...

 

well...

 

crap

 

 

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There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator but only a fraction of people understand that.

 
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Short ans: Because heroes scared the shit/piss outta them.

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2 hours ago, Scarlet Shocker said:

We have toilets in our own bases, and also in many civilian and municipal buildings.  There's even a famous one in Grandville where some guy seems to be suffering from the effects of the previous evening's phall.

 

But whenever we go into an enemy base or lair, inhabited by those we must "defeat", they seem to have no sanitary facilities whatsoever.

 

I understand that perhaps some of ghosts and demonic presences such as found amongst the Circle of Thorns may not require what we euphemistically refer to as "comfort breaks" but most of our adversaries are entirely human and thus I'd presume, have the same requirements that we all do.

 

What the hell do Warwolves do?

 

How do the Carnies manage?

 

Are we to assume that Archvillains never get taken short?

 

We have to do a significant number of missions in sewers, so it is not unreasonable to presume that ordure from billain bases should have at least rudimentary connections to them...

 

but these are significant issues and one must conclude that generally most of those responsible for designing enemy bases are a bit...

 

well...

 

crap

 

 

 

 

Most, if not all, of the office maps have restroom doors.

 

Lab maps have what appear to be fake doors that we cannot open - i would assume they lead to restrooms somewhere - eventually - hopefully.

 

Oranbega - Well, CoT probably just magically make their waste disappear.

 

Blue/purple caves - there is always a room with water and/or lava vents.  Those make natural facilities for people to do their business.  Just be careful splashing through the pools, though.

 

Council / 5th Column Caves - These are people are filthy buggers in more ways than one.  They probably dig a hole, do their business, and then bury it back up.  

 

Warwolves - they probably go anywhere like most dogs, and scratch the ground afterwards after depositing a #2.  Be careful where you step - especially when visiting Requiem's Warwolf world.

 

What's really a concern, though, are the Freakshow - some don't have biological lower halves so it not an issue, but those that do will have hammers, sickles, and large claws for both hands - how do they even drop their pants or wipe themselves?  Or, maybe they have hidden cybernetic junk and butts that process their bodily waste turning it into bio-fuel, hydraulic fluid, or lubrication for their cybernetics - maybe??  Hmmm.....

 

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2 hours ago, Frozen Burn said:

What's really a concern, though, are the Freakshow - some don't have biological lower halves so it not an issue, but those that do will have hammers, sickles, and large claws for both hands - how do they even drop their pants or wipe themselves?  Or, maybe they have hidden cybernetic junk and butts that process their bodily waste turning it into bio-fuel, hydraulic fluid, or lubrication for their cybernetics - maybe??  Hmmm.....

High-pressure pumps to vent ports. Think of the movie "Kelly's Heroes" with Oddball's tank -- "We got our own ammunition, it's filled with paint. When we fire it, it makes... pretty pictures." Except that the pictures they'd get wouldn't be as pretty...

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21 minutes ago, Shenanigunner said:

You don't want to know about Carnies... but they all smell that bad for a reason.

Tilt-A-Whirl lubricant.

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On 6/29/2024 at 2:29 PM, Scarlet Shocker said:

What the hell do Warwolves do?

 

I'm not sure, but I'm confident that the answer is not "a toilet."

 

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Personally, the sewers with the flies and the noises....that's enough realism. I do not need to see a cut scene with dialogue from an NPC who has some pressing matter to attend to, and it's not a Task Force arresting everyone within the building. 

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Sewer maps don't need toilets.

 

Arachnos maps have grated floors panels for a reason.

 

Taking a dump in a longbow base is considered recruitment.

 

It's standard practice to destroy toilets during office heists.

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My mind keeps flashing back to F.M. Busby's "Rissa Kerguelen" novels, and the characters singing the unofficial cadets' underground fight song, with its line "And that is the reason, you can plainly see, why there's only one latrine in all of U! E! T!"

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21 hours ago, ScarySai said:

Sewer maps don't need toilets.

 

Arachnos maps have grated floors panels for a reason.

 

Taking a dump in a longbow base is considered recruitment.

 

It's standard practice to destroy toilets during office heists.

 

The last one is probably why the restroom doors in all office maps are locked....

 

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On 7/2/2024 at 2:48 PM, srmalloy said:

My mind keeps flashing back to F.M. Busby's "Rissa Kerguelen" novels, and the characters singing the unofficial cadets' underground fight song, with its line "And that is the reason, you can plainly see, why there's only one latrine in all of U! E! T!"

Mine flashes back to Fat Bastard...

 

 

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On 6/29/2024 at 6:16 PM, lemming said:

Those level 20 Council interns I always assumed were tasked with pooper scoopers

Hey!!

 

Pooper Scooper is taken on Torch - so hands off!!

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Sorry if some people are getting bogged down on this thread

 

might need a GM to come wipe it, or at least go through the motions.

 

 

There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator but only a fraction of people understand that.

 
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