I use weave to avoid the whole trying to get mindlink perma problem.
Widows can softcap without it, the flexibility in their builds is impressive.
I would have agreed about tough in the old days, but now that you can build a lot of resist with IOs you can hit about 50% S/L with tough on a widow.
Considering most def debuffs that hit you are lethal damage, i find it meshes well into the overall scheme.
I do, however, never get aid self, which a lot of people seem to like. A lot of whqt you would/can do with an SR also works with widows.