Favorite in-game quotes

[srmalloy]

Just now in Pocket D :

 

[NPC] War Witch: You need that finger? Yeah? Then stop poking me.

[fancy ketchup]

My favorite I recall was when a couple trolls were standing around in skyway and one just says to the other, "You wanna go out for a burrito after this?"

[ChzBoi]

" [NPC] Jacinto: I'm glad you stopped that battle between Nemesis and the Council. Ms. Dee Rekshune. I haven't seen a fight like that since the "....?

 

Since the WHAT?!?!?  Don't leave me hanging Jacinto! sheesh!

[ZorkNemesis]

Random Arachnos commander giving his troops instructions in Grandville.

 

[NPC] Bane Spider Executioner: Remember: when the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not your friend.

[PartyKake]

One of my absolute favorites, found this completely by accident. You can only see this if you screw up a mission.

 

This one is also accidental. Thanks to my character's name, Twinshot made a clever pun.

Edited May 8, 2022 by PartyKake

[RikOz]

On 4/23/2022 at 11:36 AM, fancy ketchup said:

My favorite I recall was when a couple trolls were standing around in skyway and one just says to the other, "You wanna go out for a burrito after this?"

That reminds me of some random Legacy Chain guy in The Hollows telling his partner how eager he is to visit Atlas Park again, because they have this marvelous dish there called "taco". I think that was what first made me wonder where those guys are from.

 

In Pocket D, near the monkey cage:

 

Joe Young: This cage works out a lot better than the barrels did.

 

I think that's a barrel of monkeys joke, but not sure.

[InvaderStych]

On 5/14/2022 at 11:08 PM, RikOz said:

In Pocket D, near the monkey cage:

 

Joe Young: This cage works out a lot better than the barrels did.

 

I think that's a barrel of monkeys joke, but not sure.

 

Nice! Completely missed this one over the years.  References on references:

 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0041650/

 

 

(Was remade by Disney in the late 90s)

[Nayland1971]

There's a repeating joke that villains will say when you get in range, something like this:

 

Villain: "...and then he says, 'Aren't you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?' Then I threw him out the window! Hah! I love that one!"

 

I'm pretty sure I've seen variations where the line about leprechauns is swapped out for something else, but I haven't been able to document it as of yet.

[Luminara]

[huang3721]

I want stuffed calamari for dinner.

[srmalloy]

When even the thugs start noticing the population in the Hollows:

 

[NPC] Outcast Initiate Chopper: What's with all the goody goody squads in here? Between the heroes, the PPD, Legacy Chain, and Freedom Corps, it's getting a mite too crowded for my tastes!

 

And the ones who aren't happy with the change of scenery:

 

[NPC] Outcast Initiate Slugger: I don't know how I feel about this Hollows business. Not enough citizens to harass. Slim pickins.

 

And the Skulls are getting some snark:

 

 [NPC] Gravedigger Slammer: Nice costume! Did you fall asleep at the sewing machine or something?

Edited May 25, 2022 by srmalloy

[RikOz]

Gravedigger Striker: This primo goods, yes?

Death Head Gunner: This is crap.

[Nayland1971]

[ChzBoi]

"[NPC] Tyisha: I heard Ms. Dee Rekshune saying something about journeying to a psychic plane! Let me tell you, nothing stands in that hero's w"....??

 

My heroe's 'w'?......Tyisha!?! what do you mean?!?!? my waist? Watery Eyes? 🙂

[Nayland1971]

[Delta]

After rescuing a scared Council recruit during the Moonfire Task Force:

 

[NPC] Scared recruit: It's recently dawned on me that ship building is a very noble occupation.

[RikOz]

On 5/30/2022 at 11:30 AM, ChzBoi said:

"[NPC] Tyisha: I heard Ms. Dee Rekshune saying something about journeying to a psychic plane! Let me tell you, nothing stands in that hero's w"....??

 

My heroe's 'w'?......Tyisha!?! what do you mean?!?!? my waist? Watery Eyes? 🙂

I've noticed several NPC civilian lines like that. I've come to the conclusion that the original developers allotted a certain number of letters for those, and forgot to take into account the player characters' names using up some of that number. So they get cut off if the character's name contains more than a certain number of letters.

[RikOz]

On 5/17/2022 at 8:14 AM, Nayland1971 said:

There's a repeating joke that villains will say when you get in range, something like this:

 

Villain: "...and then he says, 'Aren't you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?' Then I threw him out the window! Hah! I love that one!"

 

I'm pretty sure I've seen variations where the line about leprechauns is swapped out for something else, but I haven't been able to document it as of yet.

And of course, if you didn't already know it,  'Aren't you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?' is the punchline to an old joke. Here's a "clean" version of the joke:

 

Hennessy wasn't a very good looking fellow to start with. Now his business had failed, and his wife and family had left him. Depressed and distracted, he was standing near the edge of the bridge, contemplating suicide. Suddenly, he sensed that someone was behind him, and turning around he saw an ugly little old leprechaun.

“Don't jump,” she said, and I'll grant you three wishes.”

“Right,” he said. “my first wish is to have $100, 000. ” She said, “When you check your account, you will find that you are in credit to that amount. ” He then said, “My second wish is to have my wife and children back. ” She said, “They will be there when you get home. ” He said, “My third wish is to be tall and handsome. ” She said, When you look in the mirror, you will find that your wish has been granted. ” Then she added, “I want you to do something in return for me. I want you to kiss me. ” He looked at her and shuddered at the thought. But under the circumstances he thought he should do as she wanted. He took her in his arms and kissed her again and again. She said, “What age are you?” He replied, “I'm forty. ” She said, “Don't you think that you're a bit too old to be believing in leprechauns?”

 

I also recently read a dirtier version that involved a "genie" rather than a "leprechaun", but was essentially the same joke.

[Pengy]

 [NPC] Crey Protector: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary, from time to time, to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

[TraumaTrain]

I busted into a Council base that happened to have been overrun by a Longbro squad led by one Agent O'Bannon. As I got closer to him, I could hear him telling one of his bros a story...

 

[NPC] Agent O'Bannon: ...and so we kick in the door and catch this Freak completely by surprise. I mean, his legs were in pieces on a table in front of him, mid-maintenance. Wait, did you hear something?

[srmalloy]

And an eternal favorite, from the last mission of the Revenant Hero Project arc:

 

 [NPC] Crey Crisis Unit: Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

[Delta]

During a radio mission to stop a robbery at a pawn shop owned by reformed Freakshow:

 

[NPC] Hordeling Lasher: Reformed Freakshow? Is nothing stable in this floating world?
[NPC] Archer: Fine, I'll just say it: This is weird.

 

 

[Marine X]

Cracks me up every time.

[Troo]

[NPC] Desperate Guy: Will you marry me?

 

[NPC] Turndown Girl: I will...if you'll swear on your life to still love me after we've had three kids, no sex life and I've plotted your death more than once.

 

😶

[Troo]

[NPC] Desperate Guy: Baby, you must be a broom, 'cause you just swept me off my feet.

 

[NPC] Turndown Girl: Are these your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.

 

these last two are mostly suggestions, not actual quotes.

Edited June 15, 2022 by Troo