Just venting a bit...

[Ultimo]

So... I was playing my L26 Psi/Psi Dominator.  Someone posted in LFG they were recruiting for Positron 1, which I always enjoy, so I said I was up for Positron.  Invitation to group appears, and I join.  However, I noted the mission was in Atlas Park... and when I looked, I realized the name of the leader wasn't the one calling for Positron.  Not wanting to just quit right away (I hate doing that) I thought I'd give it a chance.

 

The mission was L53, so everything there was purple to me.  I couldn't hit anything, and when I did hit, I was doing next to nothing.  The enemies ignored my holds and sleeps entirely.  I commented a couple of times that I couldn't hit them, and after getting killed while everyone else ran on ahead (I was held), I said again that I wasn't able to do anything to them... I couldn't hit them, couldn't hurt them, they were WAY over my head.

 

I was trying to explain why I was about to quit the group, because I hate leaving in the middle of something, but the leader said, "Well quit bitching and just leave."

 

It left a bad taste in my mouth.  It seemed unnecessarily rude.  I mean, he invited me to a group WAY over my head, KNOWING I was trying to get into a Positron (low level) TF.

 

What's my point?  Don't be like that.  It's not necessary to be rude to people, especially when you knowingly throw a low level character into max level content.

[Grindingsucks]

Wow.  He sounds like a real shithead.  And an idiot.  Sorry about your experience.

[Greycat]

True, not necessary to be rude.

 

On the other hand, you could have just said "Oops, sorry, wrong group, I was looking for an invite to that posi. Have fun!" and left right at the beginning, too. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, and I don't think I've run into anyone who's gotten offended by it. I (kind of) get hating to leave right away, but on the other hand, it *was* the wrong group.

[Shenanigunner]

I have seen a rise in the pointless rudeness and nastiness lately, mostly on chats but in a few unpleasant teams as well.

 

I'd like to think it's the kiddie crowd, bored and futzing around with this Grandpaw game and hassling the mundanes. And that it will pass. Because in some ways every aspect of this game is secondary to the community that plays it... like no other I've ever known in a long, long gaming history.

 

ETA: sounds like this was a blind invite anyway, which is rude and annoying in itself.

 

Edited January 31, 2021 by Shenanigunner

[Snarky]

I have been known to be a bit...Snarky.  I think what you had here was a "failure to communicate." as they say.

 

It sounds like you got randomly invited to a Powerlevelling farm, blindly.  This is considered a favor by higher level characters to new toons in Atlas and around the isles.

 

The point of a PL farm is you do nothing.  Sorry, thems the breaks.  The reason is...well, you found that out the hard way.

 

The leader of the group.  (Who is busy trying to read the mobs, combine inspirations, rotate attacks, and keep their armor / health / damage pumped) did not know that you did not understand this.  

 

The leader could have been more patient.  But, not everyone is as old and wise and un-snarky as m....nvm.  I mean some of us just blurt out crap.

 

Keep in mind the person was trying to help you and (maybe/maybe not) was struggling with handling the farm they were grinding.  Some do it easy (Hi!) and some barely survive minute to minute.  This can make them cranky.  But the offer to PL Farm is very generous and something that Homecoming has a great community of farmers supporting (Thanks!  i alt a lot, danged I need a 2nd account lol)

 

So, sorry for the rough experience.  Just turn it around a bit (like the leader who growled at you did not) and realize where the other person is coming from.  Does not excuse their rudeness, but maybe helps you get a grip on the drama behind the...snark....

[Grindingsucks]

That's fair, but seasoned players need to consider that noobs are not going to grok that immediately, and possibly not for a long while, so explain what the invite is for before you send it, especially if the person you just sent the invite too was expecting to get invited to a Positron TF.

[Snarky]

19 minutes ago, Grindingsucks said:

That's fair, but seasoned players need to consider that noobs are not going to grok that immediately, and possibly not for a long while, so explain what the invite is for before you send it, especially if the person you just sent the invite too was expecting to get invited to a Positron TF.

who said the farmer was seasoned? all indications are they were actually a little overwhelmed.  very little data, but still...

[Grindingsucks]

You could be right.  I wasn't implying that they were (although, that does seem likely to me).  I'm simply speaking to those players that are experienced, when dealing with those that are not.

[Snarky]

42 minutes ago, Grindingsucks said:

You could be right.  I wasn't implying that they were (although, that does seem likely to me).  I'm simply speaking to those players that are experienced, when dealing with those that are not.

this is the intricacies of human interaction and perception.  a Scroedingers cat of world views.  i honestly think the Farmer was probably a newer player, you honestly believe they are more experienced.

 

One thing is certain, it wasnt me.  When i do farm it is to join another farmers group.  i like teaming, even on farms.  the only time i farmed someone in the last six months was interesting.  i was on a lowbie lf farm.  so i was invited.  by another lowbie who gathered one or two more and suggested we farm ourselves.  i realized i could not explain AE farming, i had to show them.  so i grabbed a Farmer and ran the two of them for a half hour.  the player was like "oh!"

[DougGraves]

I do get occasional random team invites.  I don't play above level 35, I just find it too easy and boring.  So when I find myself on a higher level team I just say "sorry too high for me" and drop.

 

If you haven't started a TF, no one cares if you leave a team.

 

But his comment was uncalled for

Edited January 31, 2021 by DougGraves
adding more

[Tahliah]

It sounds like you got a cold invite rather than for the Posi (it may have been someone trying to help as @Snarky noted).  As other suggested, I would have just said, "oops, I was looking for Posi, good hunting, all!" and dropped the team and tried to get back to the Posi leader. 

 

I think the response was a bit harsh, but then, again, and no offense, but why would you keep telling them you couldn't do anything. Once is really enough, and if you're not comfortable, not having fun (and I don't find it fun to be unable to hit stuff, either, so I get it), just make your excuses and leave.  It sounds to me like the leader was just frustrated by your repeating the same thing even though no one responded the first couple of times.  You weren't really complaining that you couldn't hit anything, right? You wanted to do Posi.  I mean, you didn't expect the team to switch to content you could handle, right? So what was the point of saying it over and over?  No, I'm not making excuses for the abrupt and yes, rather rude comment, but I don't really see what you hoped to accomplish here.  You knew it wasn't Posi, so why even stay on the team and then enter the mish?

 

So I guess I have mixed feelings about this.  You should have left immediately; the leader could have more gently told you to leave or just kicked you (what I would have done, tbh--but I never send cold invites, so this wouldn't happen anyway and is therefore moot).  There's enough blame here to go around, and I think only part of it lies with the team leader (the cold invite, the unnecessarily harsh reply). But the substance of his/her message was spot-on.  Don't stick around and complain, just leave and go find the Posi team you were looking for anyway.  /just my two cents

[Grindingsucks]

Well, the part that gets me is he says that he did try to explain to the guy that invited him why he was leaving, but then the dude just told him to quit bitching and get lost before he could finish explaining.  I mean... come on.  🤷‍♂️

 

But, yeah... cold invites feel intrusive to me.  Most people at least send me a tell first, asking me if I'd like to join such-and-such, which I appreciate.  But when the random invites pop up on my screen, I just close them out.  Particularly annoying is when you get one, close it out, and then they send it to you again.

 

Are you not getting that I'm presently occupied and/or do not want to accept your unrequested invite?  😛

[Snarky]

Blind invites are part of Atlas Park culture, at least on Excelsior.  For now.  It has to do with the caravan of Farmers and the endless parade of low level alts "lf farm"  Many farmers send a tell in local, then broadcast, then lfg.  Farm X spots available sitters okay.  Others... I have been getting more random invites in Atlas.  But I go to Atlas as a hub to socialize and I like teaming.  Even on a 50 looking for specific TF if I get a farm invite I go.  The cash is VERY good.  

[TheOtherTed]

30 minutes ago, Grindingsucks said:

Well, the part that gets me is he says that he did try to explain to the guy that invited him why he was leaving, but then the dude just told him to quit bitching and get lost before he could finish explaining.

My reading of the OP is that he mentioned not being able to do anything at least 3 times before quitting, possibly a 4th.  That doesn't condone the team leader's response at all, but my own reaction would probably have been to say "Ok, best of luck" and kick him off the team - most likely after the 2nd mention.

 

There's not much point in sticking with a team that's a bad fit for you.  The better option is to politely say your piece (once) and leave.

[Grindingsucks]

@SnarkyAh, I see.  I'm on Everlasting.  It doesn't happen terribly often (to me, at least), so maybe that's why it seems so rude and jarring to me.  Maybe some server hoppers that view it as standard practice, but don't realize it's not as common on a different server?

 

Or maybe it was routine back on live and legacy players continue the habit, not realizing it might feel jarring to folks, such as myself, that don't have the same history with the game.

[TemporalVileTerror]

On Legacy/Retail, I got blind invites quite often.  Quite.  Often.  So often that all of my characters' Search Comments were to the effect of "I won't accept any Invite without an appropriate Tell first."

On Homecoming (I'm pretty much exclusively on Everlasting), I've received two blind invites.  One of them immediately apologized afterwards, unprompted.

I much prefer my time on Homecoming; boy-howdy!

 

I get the feeling of not wanting to be rude and leaving a team.  Hell, it's happened to me a few times.  But yeah . . . sometimes you've got to bite that social awkwardness bullet and just say "Sorry; I'm out."  This isn't a job.  There's no onus on players to give two weeks' notice or anything.  Just some nice, polite words attached to direct statements of intent will serve both you and the community best.  It can be hard to overcome some habits, but just remember that you should be enjoying your time here; not dreading it.

[Ultimo]

Ya, I did comment a couple of times that I couldn't hit anything, but not in quick succession.  The third time I mentioned it, it was part of my preamble, explaining why I was going to leave the group, because I figured an explanation was warranted.

 

I didn't respond to his snarkiness, because I didn't think it was worthwhile.  I mean, I did leave in the middle, and I had commented at being unable to affect anything, so I wasn't sure he was in the wrong at all.

 

In any case, as I say, I really came here to vent a little, and to remind people to be nice to each other.  Thanks all.

[Snarky]

38 minutes ago, Grindingsucks said:

@SnarkyAh, I see.  I'm on Everlasting.  It doesn't happen terribly often (to me, at least), so maybe that's why it seems so rude and jarring to me.  Maybe some server hoppers that view it as standard practice, but don't realize it's not as common on a different server?

 

Or maybe it was routine back on live and legacy players continue the habit, not realizing it might feel jarring to folks, such as myself, that don't have the same history with the game.

I played a lot of Redside on live.  Starting on Liberty. Then Freedumb.  Then Virtue.  Although I was TF mad on Virtue and spent a lot of time Blueside with Brickhouse crew.  

 

Liberty was dead.  And we all sort of got to know each other.  Back then a blind invite was a little like castaways trying to bind rafts together.  "You want to do this?  DONT YOU?...ppppplease?" lol  maybe not that bad, but the feeling was always "cmon, we are all we got..."  

 

So, for me, the Redside vibe is always in the background.  Now, Atlas Park Excelsior is Times Square in comparison.  Which is why watching the traffic signals is important.  No one is going to "invite" you everytime.  Not everyone is following the rules all the time.  Watch the crowds, the patterns.  Adapt.  Profit.

[Tigraine]

Tip 1:  Never respond to a LFG request in the LFG channel; always send a tell.

Tip 2:  Never accept blind invites.

Tip 3:  If you still find yourself on a team you didn't intend to join, quit immediately.  No need to be rude or disruptive, you can just say "Sorry, somehow I ended up on the wrong team," then drop.

 

So far as the idea that the power-leveling team leader was trying to be helpful or generous, so what?  Even if that was the intent, it does not excuse blind invites to lower level characters.  Not all players want to be power leveled; to invite someone who didn't ask for it and with no prior communication about what sort of group the invite is for is just plain rude.

[RikOz]

On 2/1/2021 at 3:24 AM, Grindingsucks said:

But, yeah... cold invites feel intrusive to me.  Most people at least send me a tell first, asking me if I'd like to join such-and-such, which I appreciate.  But when the random invites pop up on my screen, I just close them out.  Particularly annoying is when you get one, close it out, and then they send it to you again.

That's another issue I see in this situation: the OP had just said something like, "I'm up for Positron", and then a group invite pops up on their screen. It seems natural to me that they would assume the invite was for the group they just expressed interest in. Easy mistake to make.

 

Oh, and re-sending invites after you decline them: That is exactly the reason why, in WoW, I installed an addon that automatically declined PvP duel challenges. Because some people just don't get the message.

[Lunchmoney]

Seems like the kind of thread to post a rant 🙂

 

Was just milling around when someone in LFT channel said they were running radio missions and looking for team members. I joined. 2 others joined. 

After 1 mission the leader said he was going to take a break and logged off. 

1 other just quit the team with nary a word. 

Star fell to me so I said, to the remaining team member, that I was previously doing missions in FF and would they like to join me? They said yes. 

A few minutes later they just quit the team with no other word said. 

 

Almost immediately I noticed the same people now talking in the LFT channel, looking to join ANY team, to do anything. 

I dont understand why they quit just to start looking to join a team. I dont some people 🤷‍♂️

 

Anyways, rant over. 

[Snarky]

it is the perfect thread to post undiagnosable things that peeve you.

 

and much like Oranbega....i thought we were done with this....why are we seeing this again....i hate this one

[Sovera]

On 1/31/2021 at 7:29 PM, Ultimo said:

So... I was playing my L26 Psi/Psi Dominator.  Someone posted in LFG they were recruiting for Positron 1, which I always enjoy, so I said I was up for Positron.  Invitation to group appears, and I join.  However, I noted the mission was in Atlas Park... and when I looked, I realized the name of the leader wasn't the one calling for Positron.  Not wanting to just quit right away (I hate doing that) I thought I'd give it a chance.

 

The mission was L53, so everything there was purple to me.  I couldn't hit anything, and when I did hit, I was doing next to nothing.  The enemies ignored my holds and sleeps entirely.  I commented a couple of times that I couldn't hit them, and after getting killed while everyone else ran on ahead (I was held), I said again that I wasn't able to do anything to them... I couldn't hit them, couldn't hurt them, they were WAY over my head.

 

I was trying to explain why I was about to quit the group, because I hate leaving in the middle of something, but the leader said, "Well quit bitching and just leave."

 

It left a bad taste in my mouth.  It seemed unnecessarily rude.  I mean, he invited me to a group WAY over my head, KNOWING I was trying to get into a Positron (low level) TF.

 

What's my point?  Don't be like that.  It's not necessary to be rude to people, especially when you knowingly throw a low level character into max level content.

 

To put it perspective you joined the wrong group and then complained you couldn't hit anything. While he was a bit more rude than needed it is obvious there were crossed wires and you joined for content you did not sign up for and he got someone who joined who did not like the content they showed up for.

[Aeroprism]

You just need to assume your decision, be polite but firm, and leave. 

 

On one side, rude behavior is not acceptable, that much we all agree on, but then again, if a team is steamrolling stuff, you can't expect them to stop just because. 

 

It happened to me 2-3 weeks ago.  Was trying a new Ice tank, she was somewhere in her low tens. I asked in LFG if anyone was doing anything, I was immediately picked up by a team of endgame steamrollers.  I could not contribute to anything at all, heck, I'm not that skilled of a player so I struggled just to keep up with the group.  And levels were coming in so fast, I was mortified, I was not at all learning how to play my character, I was being powerleveled and this was NOT desirable.

 

So I just stopped, sent a group tell "Sorry, I was looking for a small group of people of my level to do radios or a TF, thanks for the invite, enjoy yourselves." I waited 5-10 seconds, the leader answered me in the lines of "No biggie, have fun".  I left, never played her since 😛 (i have too many alts)

So we were both at fault here.  I was not specific enough in my request and they sent me a semi-blind invite without saying "PL group, want in?"  It happens.

Believe it or not, some people actually love small, casual mission groups and aren't looking to have their character PLed to 50 in two hours.

 

Communication is the key.

Edited March 16, 2021 by Aeroprism

[Ukase]

Lunchmoney - people in this game can behave oddly. 

Some folks are figuratively starving for a team-up. They will do anything, even if they're not very good at it. 
My heart breaks, just a little, for some of these people. 

They want to be a on a team, but if the team is missing some banter, or dialogue, some sort of social exchange while people are fighting/playing, they are bored. Smashing the bad guys is not why they play. They would be just as thrilled to stand under Atlas and talk about most anything. At least, that's the way it seems to me. 

Other folks come on and want to do something specific. If it's not a kill-most itf, they want no part of doing three speed itfs where you get more merits in less time. They have their perceptions and are certainly entitled to them. 

And some folks just don't know what to say when a team dynamic changes. If a leader leaves, and someone else suddenly has the star, they may not feel comfortable for any number of reasons. So they leave. It's not terribly unthinkable for someone to feel awkward in that situation. Remember, a lot of these folks are playing this game in the middle of a pandemic. They may not be true gamers, but just looking to pass the time and have no clue how things ordinarily go.