How to avoid stapling form 8937c to your inner thigh 90% of the time

[Major_Decoy]

1) You have a desk, put the form on your desk before stapling it.

 

2) For the love of cheese, stop using a pneumatic stapler to do it! No, the hammer tacker is not a significantly better option. You should never need anything more than a heavy duty stapler, but most of the time, a mini-staple will suffice.

 

3) Do not use a paper clincher. It's tempting use a method that doesn't involve staples at all, but this would be a violation of company policy.

 

4) Check to make sure your work surface is clean and entirely clear of your legs. If you are sitting on your desk, find a chair or make sure to be standing before trying to staple anything.

 

Thank you for your time and I hope to see a lot fewer blood stains on form 8937c.

[Glacier Peak]

Big fan of this

[srmalloy]

And make sure you have a current copy of your 27B/6 in case something goes wrong.

[Apogee]

3 hours ago, Major_Decoy said:

1) You have a desk, put the form on your desk before stapling it.

 

2) For the love of cheese, stop using a pneumatic stapler to do it! No, the hammer tacker is not a significantly better option. You should never need anything more than a heavy duty stapler, but most of the time, a mini-staple will suffice.

 

3) Do not use a paper clincher. It's tempting use a method that doesn't involve staples at all, but this would be a violation of company policy.

 

4) Check to make sure your work surface is clean and entirely clear of your legs. If you are sitting on your desk, find a chair or make sure to be standing before trying to staple anything.

 

Thank you for your time and I hope to see a lot fewer blood stains on form 8937c.

 

Did you include the new cover sheet?  Did you get the memo?  I'll send you a copy of the memo.

[InvaderStych]

@Major_Decoy ... I hear you've been having some trouble with your T.P.S. Reports.

[Major_Decoy]

1 hour ago, srmalloy said:

And make sure you have a current copy of your 27B/6 in case something goes wrong.

Good point.

 

Also, Forms 1053B and 9166a do still need to be stapled to your inner thighs, though you can submit form 1020s if you'd like to request the use of alligator clips or safety pins instead.

[Sir Myshkin]

Is that Times New Roman? Hmm... and I see you don't have a watermark either. *shakes head*

[Snarky]

[MrAxe]

Blood on your form is so Metal.🤘

[High_Beam]

That's how Clamor keeps those fishnets held up.

[Scarlet Shocker]

When considering a staple diet, blood may be thought of as a condiment

[High_Beam]

3 hours ago, MrAxe said:

Blood on your form is so Metal.🤘

[Clave Dark 5]

15 hours ago, Major_Decoy said:

2) For the love of cheese, stop using a pneumatic stapler to do it! No, the hammer tacker is not a significantly better option. You should never need anything more than a heavy duty stapler, but most of the time, a mini-staple will suffice.

 

You're no true accountant. 

Or temp. 

Or any other office worker, at least going by how I work.   Staplelock is real and doesn't discriminate amongst whitecollar workers, my friend!

[High_Beam]

Back in the day when I was a Sophomore in High School I had a History teacher named Mister Mentzer (RIP) who also taught the fledgling computer science class (this was 1985) and he had a thing called the Swingline Disk Lock which he never explained until he caught a student bringing in a 5 /14 floppy with a C64 program called Artillery on it.  He confiscated it and then proceeded to slam 25 staples into the disk, rendering it useless (though the first staple would have been enough).

 

It was a Swingline stapler and suddenly I understood.

[Luminara]

[momentarygrace]

A stapler should be the next new forum reaction. 

[Techwright]

"How to avoid stapling form 8937c to your inner thigh 90% of the time"

 

 

Come on..Did my last post on such things not make the point?  The 10%!  I want to know about the 10%!  It's important! Real money! (Yes, I said "real money" @Yomo Kimyata)

Pony up!

[momentarygrace]

59 minutes ago, Techwright said:

Pony up!

 

 

[Black Zot]

[Major_Decoy]

4 hours ago, Clave Dark 5 said:

You're no true accountant. 

Or temp. 

Or any other office worker, at least going by how I work.   Staplelock is real and doesn't discriminate amongst whitecollar workers, my friend!

 I am only talking about form 8937c. It should never consist of more than five pages, 75gsm to 90gsm, and 80 to 98 bright. If you've printed the form out on heavier paper, we're not accepting it. If you've got more than five pages, we're not accepting it. We are not having this argument again Clave. You are not allowed to unilaterally declare a schism and say you're a Northwestern Richter Annex Worker, the employee handbook still applies to you and NO ONE recognizes your edition.

[Major_Decoy]

1 hour ago, Techwright said:

"How to avoid stapling form 8937c to your inner thigh 90% of the time"

 

 

Come on..Did my last post on such things not make the point?  The 10%!  I want to know about the 10%!  It's important! Real money! (Yes, I said "real money" @Yomo Kimyata)

Pony up!

What's the confusion? About one times in ten, through absolutely no fault of your own, you're going to end up with form 8937c stapled to your inner thigh. There's no shame in it, it happens to everyone. This is not a problem that can be eliminated, but if we're all careful, we can make it much less common.

[tidge]

4 hours ago, Techwright said:

"How to avoid stapling form 8937c to your inner thigh 90% of the time"

 

 

Come on..Did my last post on such things not make the point?  The 10%!  I want to know about the 10%!  It's important! Real money! (Yes, I said "real money" @Yomo Kimyata)

Pony up!

 

[Player2]

Now I want a pneumatic stapler... also a nail gun... as weapon customization options.

[InvaderStych]

I only want a Nail Gun if I can use it immediately after Bean Bag.

[SeraphimKensai]

My favorite form is DD-214.