Can We Stop Dogpiling, Please?

[Solarverse]

1 hour ago, The_Warpact said:

Actually it would be Gen X for the majority of us.

Gen X reporting for duty!

[Hyperstrike]

4 hours ago, Coyotedancer said:

 

Yep... But pretty much everyone younger than us tends to forget that Gen X even exists. We're older than them, so "Oh look! Boomers!" 😝     

People profligately using "boomer" are generally snotnosed late millennials or later and deliberate trolls.

And if you want to see boomers?
 

Those twin tubes are BOOMERS!

[Albion]

5 hours ago, Aurora_Girl said:

Like...I started in college and I'm now 36, I had no idea I'm such a youngin. Guess I'll limit my use of "ok, boomer" to avoid possible heart issues for y'all. 😏

Can I still shake my finger energically at you for no reason at all?

[InvaderStych]

4 hours ago, Coyotedancer said:

Yep... But pretty much everyone younger than us tends to forget that Gen X even exists.

 

As do most who are older than us.

 

You know we had a meeting back in the 90s about this, it's by design. 😛

[Solarverse]

3 hours ago, InvaderStych said:

 

As do most who are older than us.

 

You know we had a meeting back in the 90s about this, it's by design. 😛

We'll get our hate soon enough, everybody gets a turn at being a "boomer" eventually. Even the Millennials will get their turn at being hated in about 30 more years, it's inevitable. lol

[Aurora_Girl]

4 hours ago, Hyperstrike said:

People profligately using "boomer" are generally snotnosed late millennials or later and deliberate trolls.

 

 

Because I am a proud snot-nosed elder millennial, I say people who use words like "profligately" are pretentious and overbearing. 

 

😛

[Ruin Mage]

ok boomer.

(^:

[Haijinx]

Every online forum I have ever seen has this sort of dogpiling effect that is described.  From the old compuserve BBs to Twitter.  Twitter being far worse than anything around homecoming. 

 

How much is honest opinion sharing, how much is normal human group dynamics, how much is attributable to this media?  I am not sure.  

 

But think on this one, what if someone did say something truly objectionable, and the fear of dogpiling led to no one posting any contrary responses?  Only those who agreed replied.  Is that better?  

 

Should people give a poster slack?  Try to make people welcome even with contrary opinions?  Sure.  That sounds good.

 

Is civility good?  Cutting out peesonal attacks?  Definitely.

 

But muzzling the community so they feel a damper on responding?  Na..  JRanger to that.

[Erratic1]

19 hours ago, Coyotedancer said:

 

Yep... But pretty much everyone younger than us tends to forget that Gen X even exists. We're older than them, so "Oh look! Boomers!" 😝     

 

Or that Gen X is mostly identified by its younger cohort than its older, leaving people like me not even considered a part of the generation.

 

Was it here? I would have to dig back and look, but I encountered someone online who felt that "boomer" referred to anyone older than about 30.

 

Yeah, I know terms shift in meaning and so I do not argue "roll a character" (wtf is rolling?), "power gamer" (as opposed to twink) or a whole host of other terms whose meanings have drifted from their original (do not get me started on "pay to win"). But "Boomer"...no, just not going to tolerate being lumped in with a generation whose definition is being the cohort born post WWII to returning servicemen, particularly when my parents were children (my mother was not even a year old) when the US entered WWII and would have more in common with Boomer than I would.

[Haijinx]

24 minutes ago, Erratic1 said:

 

Or that Gen X is mostly identified by its younger cohort than its older, leaving people like me not even considered a part of the generation.

 

Was it here? I would have to dig back and look, but I encountered someone online who felt that "boomer" referred to anyone older than about 30.

 

Yeah, I know terms shift in meaning and so I do not argue "roll a character" (wtf is rolling?), "power gamer" (as opposed to twink) or a whole host of other terms whose meanings have drifted from their original (do not get me started on "pay to win"). But "Boomer"...no, just not going to tolerate being lumped in with a generation whose definition is being the cohort born post WWII to returning servicemen, particularly when my parents were children (my mother was not even a year old) when the US entered WWII and would have more in common with Boomer than I would.

 

My kid and his friends explained this to me.  I won't pretend to having figured this out myself.  Too much of a Boomer.  

 

But when they say Boomer, they do not mean the same thing that we do when we say Boomer.  The fact that you are not "actually a Boomer"  is irrelevant.   Basically, the more you protest that you are Gen X, the funnier it is to them.   

 

 

[Coyotedancer]

So they're being deliberate a-holes. 

Got it.

[ForeverLaxx]

34 minutes ago, Coyotedancer said:

So they're being deliberate a-holes. 

Got it.

Can't expect much else from people raised on social media who actively avoid normal human interaction. I'm asocial and I still get more interaction with real people out in meat space than the kids today do.

 

I don't know what to think about this.

[Yomo Kimyata]

59 minutes ago, Coyotedancer said:

So they're being deliberate a-holes. 

Got it.

 

I feel like this brings the thread back around.  It has been thought provoking, at least to me.

 

One the one hand, "be kind" is a very good moral tenet.  You can't go wrong with that in many cases, and the world definitely needs more kindness.

 

On another hand, this community is a social group of (presumably) humans.  In my life experience, I fall firmly into a Hobbesian viewpoint of humanity in that humans, like life, can be nasty, brutish and short.  The Leviathan to Hobbes was the overarching authority that kept people in check.  Sometimes that's government, sometimes that's a volunteer group that monitors a forum.  In severe cases, they will step in and stop behavior that is detrimental to the society as a whole.  But in less severe cases, there often is a self-policing that occurs from within the group itself to express disapproval of people who are being detrimental.

 

I'm not necessarily going to say, "It's the GM's forums, let them settle it," and I'm not necessarily going to say "I'm going to settle it."  Both of those are extreme viewpoints.  But I don't see a problem with providing a feedback mechanism to say, "Hey, In my opinion you stepped over a line, and although you might not be actually touching your sister, I'm still going to pull this car over and we are going to hash out what it means to be a member of this society."  So when someone, deliberately or accidentally, trolls, I think it is legitimate to express disapproval.  It's a good feedback mechanism.  At the same time, it is also legitimate to critique those who critiqued the original person, and it is legitimate to critique those to critique those who critiqued, and ad infinitum.

 

And yes, I'm looking at myself in this spotlight as well.  In this venue, you are going to be interpreted by your written word, whatever your intent may have been.  It's probably a really wise idea to spend a little amount of time thinking before sending a snap response.  I, for one, can benefit from that introspection.  But if after thinking, you still think your response is merited and adds value to the community (bonus points if it's funny), lay on MacDuff.  Because at the end of the day, those volunteer GMs are going to decide who the ultimate jerk is!

[Oubliette_Red]

On 11/4/2021 at 9:04 PM, TheZag said:

Sometimes it takes a grown adult to tell other grown adults that they shouldnt need to be babysat by other grown adults.

 

And sometimes it takes someone pointing out that someone else is being a posterior head-adornment, to realize that they are being a posterior head-adornment.

 

People tend to forget to read a post in a neutral voice and their own emotions will colour what they read then post.  It's always a good idea to re-read a post and your own response before hitting that 'Submit' button.

 

Edited November 6, 2021 by Oubliette_Red

[Erratic1]

3 hours ago, Haijinx said:

 

My kid and his friends explained this to me.  I won't pretend to having figured this out myself.  Too much of a Boomer.  

 

But when they say Boomer, they do not mean the same thing that we do when we say Boomer.  The fact that you are not "actually a Boomer"  is irrelevant.   Basically, the more you protest that you are Gen X, the funnier it is to them.   

 

 

 

I don't waste my time. Young people are going to be exactly what they are...young.

[Hyperstrike]

14 hours ago, Aurora_Girl said:

 

Because I am a proud snot-nosed elder millennial, I say people who use words like "profligately" are pretentious and overbearing. 

 

😛

Kiddo.

It's not my problem that I have a vocabulary that's larger than 50 words and doesn't consist of mostly swear words.

And "elder millennial"?

Ain't no such animal...yet.

Give it another 10-15 years.

Then we'll talk.

Edited November 6, 2021 by Hyperstrike

[GraspingVileTerror]

I think @Yomo Kimyata gets to some of the core concerns with https://forums.homecomingservers.com/topic/32376-can-we-stop-dogpiling-please/page/3/?tab=comments#comment-413076

So, kudos for that, Yomo.

 

And, for what it's worth to some folks, I apologize if I came off sounding like I was trying to be an authority in this thread.  My intent was to appeal to members of this community as a peer.  And, I get it.  I am not well liked by some of you, for various reasons, and you certainly don't have to consider me an equal.  Please just know that I'm not trying to be superior.  I just have a very low tolerance for inane cruelty, especially when it's masquerading as "just having fun," or "knocking someone down a peg" when the target is already being punched-down on.

 

I chose not to name names for a couple of reasons.  It would be a little gauche, if not outright inflammatory.  And this isn't the first time this sort of behaviour has reared its head here, and I wanted to address not just the latest incidents, but the habitual conduct.  

Also, I'm not blameless, and I know it.  Hell, look at that thread about ERP from a while back; I got a little shitposty in there myself.  In fact, what prompted me to write this thread was because somebody beat me to the "Has Anyone Really Been Far" meme in one of the recent threads, and it sorta clicked in my head that as funny as it may have seemed in the moment, it really wasn't a respectful thing for me to do to that thread's originator (though, to be clear, I still chuckled when I saw that meme post, so I'm not trying to call out the person who beat me to it.  Honestly, I'm thanking them, since their post gave me the breather to be a little more introspective).

 

As for the whole boomer/gen x/millennial thing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD0x7ho_IYc

I am telling EVERYONE that I think they should watch this.  Because it applies to everyone.  (Except @MunkiLord, 'cause I know he already saw it!)

[Hardship]

GraspingVileTerror, thank you for the video link.

[Haijinx]

4 hours ago, Coyotedancer said:

So they're being deliberate a-holes. 

Got it.

Xactly

[MunkiLord]

7 hours ago, GraspingVileTerror said:

 

 

As for the whole boomer/gen x/millennial thing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD0x7ho_IYc

I am telling EVERYONE that I think they should watch this.  Because it applies to everyone.  (Except @MunkiLord, 'cause I know he already saw it!)

That's right! Now everyone get off my damn lawn! I'm also an older Millenial(born in 1982) so I can say that.

 

Also whatever it is that brought this thread about would be solved if everyone would just try and be more like me and/or just do whatever I say.

Edited November 7, 2021 by MunkiLord

[Aeroprism]

This is where I love being socially clueless.  I do.  I am.

 

I have no idea who this topic refers to.  I just love everyone.

[Bionic_Flea]

9 hours ago, Aeroprism said:

This is where I love being socially clueless.  I do.  I am.

 

I have no idea who this topic refers to.  I just love everyone.

 

[Aeroprism]

1 hour ago, Bionic_Flea said:

 

 

What a gorgeous way to start my morning, thank you, it made me smile a lot more than I want to admit!

 

And I sang along 😄😄

 

[Ruin Mage]

19 hours ago, GraspingVileTerror said:

I wanted to address not just the latest incidents, but the habitual conduct.  

 

19 hours ago, GraspingVileTerror said:

My intent was to appeal to members of this community as a peer.

I will reiterate that not everyone this was meant for will read this. Not everyone who is the target of it will go 'hm is this talking about me?' - because that's the nature of how things go. Well-intended threads like these are good, but often miss the mark. Not to dissuade the thread, person of many forum accounts, but it's a matter of it falling on deaf ears. Yes, people in the thread generally agree - dogpiling someone is bad and helps no one. However, I do not see a reply - unless I missed one - that indicates someone going they've read it and understood that it may be talking about them among many others.

At most, a conversation is had. But the desired change may not be so easily achieved. Forum/internet anonymity works wonders.

I for one don't intend to stop being The Forum Cop.

Edited November 7, 2021 by Shadeknight

[Triumphant]

Well, with regard to being a "Forum Cop", I think there is a very notable difference between encouraging a general attitude of friendliness and understanding, as opposed to directly confronting and chastising a specific forum member directly (encroaching on the mods territory).  The former (in my view, at least) is acceptable, while the latter is not.

 

Of course, I would be remiss if I did not admit that I HAVE been guilty of the latter, from time to time.  Sometimes a person posts something that rubs you the wrong way, and you have a knee jerk reaction and start typing instead of taking a breath and considering the wisdom (or lack thereof) of your reply.

 

This topic has been a good reminder about taking that moment of consideration before clicking the submit button, so I appreciate it for that.  👍