Favorite in-game quotes

[ZorkNemesis]

I hardly ever read the Arbiter's dialogue when training, but this one had me chuckle.

 

"Arachnos will provide training for the new villains.  To serve us, or to make your eventual defeat a useful training exercise.  Your choice."

[Jeneki]

[NPC] Mad Freak Gunner: We'll get it, right, and then we'll have, like, endless power!

[NPC] Mad Freak Slammer: Yeah!  Endless power to do... To do... Hey? What are we gonna do with this thing?

 

 

[Onemantankwall]

St Martial Arc taking out some carnies for a corrupts politician's photos after partying with the carnies. 

 

 [NPC] Bronze Strongman: So I just told him I was too pretty for him, and gave him a discount card for Facemaker's.

 

 [NPC] Iron Strongman: That's just a problem you have to deal with when you're one of the beautiful people.

Edited August 6, 2020 by Onemantankwall

[Lines]

8 hours ago, Onemantankwall said:

St Martial Arc taking out some carnies for a corrupts politician's photos after partying with the carnies. 

 

 [NPC] Bronze Strongman: So I just told him I was too pretty for him, and gave him a discount card for Facemaker's.

 

 [NPC] Iron Strongman: That's just a problem you have to deal with when you're one of the beautiful people.

I imagine this was meant to be said by some of the carnie ladies, but this is such a wholesome bromance. ❤️

[Onemantankwall]

10 hours ago, Lines said:

I imagine this was meant to be said by some of the carnie ladies, but this is such a wholesome bromance. ❤️

it was repeated between a attendant (female) and 1 of the strongman but it wasnt half as funny as the 2 bucket heads talking about being beautiful

[Twisted Toon]

I just saw a Hellion in Atlas say, "I was just getting age spots!" when I defeated him with my level 25 blaster.

[CursedSorcerer]

 Wolf Spider Assault: Didn't we just do this? I could have sworn not ten minutes ago I beat up a hero that looked JUST like you.

 

The funny thing is that while I do have a mission in the Keith Nance Story arc, I wasn't working on it at the time, but this totally does sound like a quote someone would say during that arc.

[Onemantankwall]

Was in atlas on the way to the tram yesterday passed a pair of hellions sitting on the ledge the Fallen Gunner says to me "Im going to steal your purse later!" As i passed them And i didnt even argo him!!

 

so of course i turnt around and gave both of them a good slap with my daggers. Hmmph!

[Onemantankwall]

Doesn't look like anyone got this yet, this was at the donut shop in faultline

 

 

 NPC] PPD Undercover Cop: Five more minutes, then we'll head out on patrol.
[NPC] Scrounger Chopper: How many cops do you think are in there? One good spray of gunfire and we take out half the force in this city.

 

passing through KR

 

 [NPC] Gravedigger Striker: I have a drinking problem. Problem is I can't get a drink around here.

Edited August 8, 2020 by Onemantankwall

[Mister Mass]

From a Freak bomb-setting boss:

 

[NPC] Bob Fuse-y: The Black wire goes to the: 
[NPC] Bob Fuse-y: ground lead, 
[NPC] Bob Fuse-y: The Red wire goes to the 
[NPC] Bob Fuse-y: Plastique, 
[NPC] Bob Fuse-y: Now hear that word of C-4! 
[NPC] Bob Fuse-y: Them bombs, them bombs gonna, 
[NPC] Bob Fuse-y: Blow things up! 
[NPC] Bob Fuse-y: Them bombs, them bombs gonna, 
[NPC] Bob Fuse-y: I really love my work.

[Delta]

From a Council radio mission:

 

NPC] Archon Belaggi: ...and he says 'Aren't you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?' Then I threw him out the window! Hah! I love that one.

[GastlyGibus]

As I'm running through Redside as usual, Kelly Uqua sends me to go deal with a bunch of Freakshow who have gotten their hands on some Rikti weapons. There's two amusing bits of dialogue in there. First is some random chatter from freakshow.

Rikti Freak Gunner 1: "Man, this new tech feels weird."
Rikti Freak Gunner 2: "New Tech: t3h ph@t L3wt!"
Rikti Freak Gunner 1: "Dude, don't do that."

 

And then at the end, you meet a familiar face who I'm pretty sure has been mentioned in this very thread!

 

t3h R1k70-Fr34k: "0nc3 m0r3 1 r3tRuN, Cr34t3d 4n3w 4s: t3h R1K70-Fr34K!!1!LOLOMGWTFBBQ!"
"1t's n0t1hng Pw3rs0nn4l, but I c4n'7 w4yT t0 t3s7 0u7 t3h p0w4r 0f m n3w b0di!"

 

(Translation: "Once more I return, created anew as: the Rikti-Freak!! It's nothing personal, but I can't wait to test out the power of my new body!")

[CursedSorcerer]

 Citizen: I may spend some time in Architect Entertainment, but truly, why would I want to hide away in some simulated life when I live this wonderful perfect one out here?

 

Not particularly funny, but interesting. I just encountered this when doing the Praetorian tutorial. (Interesting because AE doesn't exist in Praetoria.)

[Pengy]

Last words of a Skul I killed as he was sizing up some Vahzilok in KR:

 

[NPC] Death Head Buckshot: Hey, they wear skulls too. Let's kill them.

[Grouchybeast]

5 hours ago, CursedSorcerer said:

 Citizen: I may spend some time in Architect Entertainment, but truly, why would I want to hide away in some simulated life when I live this wonderful perfect one out here?

 

Not particularly funny, but interesting. I just encountered this when doing the Praetorian tutorial. (Interesting because AE doesn't exist in Praetoria.)

Someone's clearly been sneaking through the Studio 55 portal!

[Healix]

[NPC] Faultline: So I said, 'Ninjas and lawyers? Then it's a Tsoo Sue Studio!' 
[NPC] Faultline: Get it? Sue like litigation versus Tsoo the gang? No? Oh nevermind, no one appreciates an artiste

 

[NPC] Marcone Gunner: Stop wetting your pants and shoot 'em!

[CursedSorcerer]

On 8/12/2020 at 2:33 PM, Grouchybeast said:

Someone's clearly been sneaking through the Studio 55 portal!

Maybe.

[Ura Hero]

NPC: You're a hero!

 

I got so tired of hearing this during the first month I played...  Now you know.

[srmalloy]

In Faultline:

[NPC] Construction Worker: I'm hiding from my wife. Why are you up here?

 

In Brickstown:

[NPC] Mad Freak Chopper: Chillin' like the villain I am!

 

Edited August 15, 2020 by srmalloy

[CursedSorcerer]

Found another one. Not exactly funny, but pretty badass:

 

[NPC] Prisoner: Heard Sir Slasher's been putting the hurt on our fellow escapees. If we don't hook up with an arch soon we could be next.

 

[NPC] Prisoner: Is that... Sir Slasher? You won't take me alive!

[Troo]

After getting triple nuked; [NPC] Chief Soldier: I felt that

[Ura Hero]

NPC: I already told you, when you are me you can use the walky talky.

[GastlyGibus]

From random Goldbrickers in Cap.

[NPC] Bombardier: The next person to say "I can see my house from here" loses jetpack privileges.

[ZorkNemesis]

The souviener from Brother Hammond's story arc includes this excellent footnote courtesy of Dr. Aeon.

 

P.P.S. I hope that a dimensional rift spontaneously appears within your innards and you explode in a shower of gore and Rikti Monkeys.

[MTeague]

Hit another one today, from Mr. G on redside:  "Splice is technological mastermind and has the moral compass of a brick, just like a brick."