Fire the Architect

[Dreamboat]

8 hours ago, EmmySky said:

Picture...your first day at your new job, you are so excited!  You brought your new Wonder Woman lunchbox and joined your new co-workers in the break room for some quality get-to-know-me time.  Clock strikes 5 and you head home.

 

But you never find your way out.

 

Your lifeless body is discovered 3 years later on an unused floor that even the janitors dont visit.

 

The real villain....

 

The Architect

To make matters worse, when your body is finally discovered, your lunchbox you had so much pride in has mysteriously changed to "DefaultLunchbox684".

[Luminara]

On 2/23/2020 at 12:18 PM, VileTerror said:

I've seen them ride the elevator.   . . . not sure how they're violating physics so brazenly, mind you.  But I've seen it!

 

They're villains.  Violation of laws, societal and natural, is what they do.  It's in the job description.  And the handbook.

[tremor3258]

The biggest sign of Nemesis' pervasive influence and long-range planning is how those Warhulks get up a '1500 lb max' elevator, honestly. 

[EmmySky]

44 minutes ago, tremor3258 said:

The biggest sign of Nemesis' pervasive influence and long-range planning is how those Warhulks get up a '1500 lb max' elevator, honestly. 

They're made of aluminium, air and hope.  Not very heavy, really 😝

[Gulbasaur]

It's a all Nemesis plot.

 

Every single architect in Paragon City is a Nemesis plant.

[VileTerror]

We gotta stop giving Nemesis credit for all this!   He keeps building duplicates of himself just to fill their heads with the overflowing ego.

[biostem]

20 minutes ago, VileTerror said:

We gotta stop giving Nemesis credit for all this!   He keeps building duplicates of himself just to fill their heads with the overflowing ego.

That's exactly what he'd want you to think!!!

[Lines]

34 minutes ago, Gulbasaur said:

It's a all Nemesis plot.

 

Every single architect in Paragon City is a Nemesis plant.

Best place to find a Nemesis plant?

 

In a Nemesis pot.

[Wild Claw]

38 minutes ago, Lines said:

Best place to find a Nemesis plant?

 

In a Nemesis pot.

Well they were definitely smoking *something* when they designed these buildings...

[Major_Decoy]

2 hours ago, tremor3258 said:

The biggest sign of Nemesis' pervasive influence and long-range planning is how those Warhulks get up a '1500 lb max' elevator, honestly. 

No, that's the trick. There are no '1500 lb max' elevators because there are no elevators. It's all hydraulic lifts with a much higher weight limit. It's also why there are no wires hanging in the shafts when one of them breaks.

[Herotu]

On 2/23/2020 at 11:37 PM, MTeague said:

Not only that, but who the heck makes elevators that only go up and down ONE FLOOR, with 1-2 in the northwest, 2-3 in the southeast, 3-4 in the east, and there's not a SINGLE fricken' stairwell in a single building interior in all of Paragon City.  The whole place should should be massively condemned for major safety violations.

This is the one that bothers me, too.

 

So let's pretend we're making CoH2 and we want a more realistic mission environment... So you'd put all the elevators I one room, you'd do your thing on the floor then return to that room. As long as there is something unique to do on that level (i.e. skipping is not an option), it's perfectly feasible.

 

Sadly, the whole twisty-turny spaghetti office/corridor design would have to go out of the non-existent window as well! How would you replace that?

Edited February 24, 2020 by Herotu

[biostem]

1 minute ago, Herotu said:

This is the one that bothers me, too.

 

So let's pretend we're making CoH2 and we want a more realistic mission environment... So you'd put all the elevators I one room, you'd do your thing on the floor then return to that room. As long as there is something unique to do on that level (i.e. skipping is not an option), it's perfectly feasible.

 

Sadly, the whole twisty-turny spaghetti office/corridor design would have to go out of the non-existent window as well! How would you replace that?

What you'd likely run into, then, would be several "dummy floors" that only consisted of the elevator vestibule which was blocked off with some rubble/debris/locked gate/etc.  Personally, I'd love to see maps be 1 continuous map/zone, be they vertical or horizontal in nature, where you could take the stairs or elevator, or simply fly up to where you need to go...

[Major_Decoy]

The Hydraulic lift also explains why the 'elevators' only go up one floor. There have also got to be very thick between floor areas to accommodate the pistons. And the lifts aren't light, so the buildings need thicker floors and walls to support all the weight, thus also explaining the lack of windows. Those are all load bearing walls.

[Black Zot]

8 minutes ago, Major_Decoy said:

The Hydraulic lift also explains why the 'elevators' only go up one floor. There have also got to be very thick between floor areas to accommodate the pistons. And the lifts aren't light, so the buildings need thicker floors and walls to support all the weight, thus also explaining the lack of windows. Those are all load bearing walls.

 

Such a heavily-reinforced structure also explains why the building is still standing after a string of battles involving super strength, high explosives, and gravity-warping.

[THEDarkTyger]

Been a running joke from day 1 that the architects in Paragon City are really supervillains.

[Haijinx]

31 minutes ago, Herotu said:

This is the one that bothers me, too.

 

So let's pretend we're making CoH2 and we want a more realistic mission environment... So you'd put all the elevators I one room, you'd do your thing on the floor then return to that room. As long as there is something unique to do on that level (i.e. skipping is not an option), it's perfectly feasible.

 

Sadly, the whole twisty-turny spaghetti office/corridor design would have to go out of the non-existent window as well! How would you replace that?

Have the villains rush you in waves at the entrance.  Then one you get off the elevator.  

 

The last floor can be a gauntlet like now.

 

And of course defeat alls, they could be dug in throughout.

 

Maybe the top boss, hostage, item isn't always at the top.

 

Would be cool if some missions started from the roof.  

[MTeague]

They could do "keycards" or something needed to get the elevator oto the next floor or open doors.

Because doors totally stand up to pounding on from Super Strong titans and block even phase shifting mutants and.... oh never mind.

[RikOz]

22 hours ago, Major_Decoy said:

No, that's the trick. There are no '1500 lb max' elevators because there are no elevators. It's all hydraulic lifts with a much higher weight limit. It's also why there are no wires hanging in the shafts when one of them breaks.

It occurred to me a couple weeks ago, when I decided to fly as high as possible through Steel Canyon, that none of the skyscrapers have the little shed on top for the elevator workings.

 

21 hours ago, Black Zot said:

 

Such a heavily-reinforced structure also explains why the building is still standing after a string of battles involving super strength, high explosives, and gravity-warping.

For true structural engineering miracles, check out the various traffic tunnels that run directly under several skyscrapers (there's a good example on the East side of Steel Canyon). Those 100-floor buildings remain standing despite having no foundations!

[Techwright]

Y'all have clearly never seen the hospital where I work.  I'd swear it was designed for Paragon City hero missions.  I'm forever stopping to help out poor souls stopped at intersections looking around desperately for a directional sign or map.  

 

The bizarre pathing came about because of numerous building projects over the last 100 years.  Rather than take the effort to build a true integration into what already existed, they continually tacked on new structures, hallways, etc.  We actually have a wing called "2 1/2" because the designers couldn't be bothered to level the construction with the current floor, so the stairwell has an odd-angled ramp leading to an offset level.  Last year, they bricked in the internal access to one set of elevators, requiring the workers to now exit the building and turn around and enter a new door to access the elevators.  Then, in the same elevator lobby they'd created (one which is never full), they went to the other side of the 20' room from the two elevators that go up all 6 floors, and added...an elevator that goes up one floor.  Yes, it exists!  We also have things like 2 long halls that follow the exact same path with only a thin wall between them, and doors connecting both halls at each end.

 

I could fill a small book with the odd stuff in the place.  If only the AE was sophisticated enough to mirror the real life structure.

[Solarverse]

😄 I can't be the only person who read the title and thought this was going to be an Impeach Trump thread. 

 

Edit: And I also can't be the only one who read that as, "Fire the Antichrist"   😱

Edited February 26, 2020 by Solarverse

[Charistoph]

On 2/23/2020 at 4:37 PM, MTeague said:

Not only that, but who the heck makes elevators that only go up and down ONE FLOOR, with 1-2 in the northwest, 2-3 in the southeast, 3-4 in the east, and there's not a SINGLE fricken' stairwell in a single building interior in all of Paragon City.  The whole place should should be massively condemned for major safety violations.

Well, if you think about it, how do you think that the villains haven't gotten away with whatever they are doing between the time they show up, you get told to go there, you ACTUALLY go there after logging off for a day or 227 (altoholism is a thing), and arrive to start beating up all the villains?

 

On 2/24/2020 at 4:52 PM, Herotu said:

This is the one that bothers me, too.

 

So let's pretend we're making CoH2 and we want a more realistic mission environment... So you'd put all the elevators I one room, you'd do your thing on the floor then return to that room. As long as there is something unique to do on that level (i.e. skipping is not an option), it's perfectly feasible.

 

Sadly, the whole twisty-turny spaghetti office/corridor design would have to go out of the non-existent window as well! How would you replace that?

Simple, staircases.  During emergencies elevators should be shut off and inaccessible, so you need to go up the stair cases to reach your objective.

 

3 hours ago, Techwright said:

Y'all have clearly never seen the hospital where I work.  I'd swear it was designed for Paragon City hero missions.  I'm forever stopping to help out poor souls stopped at intersections looking around desperately for a directional sign or map.  

 

The bizarre pathing came about because of numerous building projects over the last 100 years.  Rather than take the effort to build a true integration into what already existed, they continually tacked on new structures, hallways, etc.  We actually have a wing called "2 1/2" because the designers couldn't be bothered to level the construction with the current floor, so the stairwell has an odd-angled ramp leading to an offset level.  Last year, they bricked in the internal access to one set of elevators, requiring the workers to now exit the building and turn around and enter a new door to access the elevators.  Then, in the same elevator lobby they'd created (one which is never full), they went to the other side of the 20' room from the two elevators that go up all 6 floors, and added...an elevator that goes up one floor.  Yes, it exists!  We also have things like 2 long halls that follow the exact same path with only a thin wall between them, and doors connecting both halls at each end.

 

I could fill a small book with the odd stuff in the place.  If only the AE was sophisticated enough to mirror the real life structure.

That's not only happening with old hospitals.  I just spent a couple days in one smack dab next to a retirement community (and this hospital isn't that old) and had to be carted around from the ER, to the observation room (on the other side of the room), to nuclear prep, to nuclear medicine, to another place for a stress test, back to nuclear medicine for the second scan, back to my observation room, then to surgery prep, then to the surgery room, then back to my observation room, then finally out to the front to be let out.  All the walls look exactly the same. 

 

I made it through Wolfenstein 3D with no problem in keeping my bearings, but I was completely thrown off in that place.  Even though the base floorplan wasn't really that complex, all the walls looking the same plus what doors one can't go through unless you are working in that area can easily contribute to losing where you are at.

 

And yes, I'm fine.  We think that I ended up being accidentally overdosed on one of my heart pressure meds (high amount plus bad timing) and it slowed down my heart rate too much which created an unpleasant experience.

[Luminara]

2 hours ago, Charistoph said:

from the ER, to the observation room (on the other side of the room), to nuclear prep, to nuclear medicine, to another place for a stress test, back to nuclear medicine for the second scan, back to my observation room, then to surgery prep, then to the surgery room, then back to my observation room, then finally out to the front

 

2 hours ago, Charistoph said:

I ended up being accidentally overdosed

 

And became a walking fusion reactor!  Now, he fights crime and teaches people that only justice (and the power of the atom) can prevail!

[RikOz]

8 hours ago, Techwright said:

The bizarre pathing came about because of numerous building projects over the last 100 years.

That's something I brought up in a WoW discussion about the convoluted layouts of some of that game's original dungeons, when I was contrasting two confusing dungeons to point out how one of them made sense and the other didn't. The one that "made sense" was Scholomance, and I pointed out that it wasn't a single structure, it was a series of unrelated structures that had been nailed together over the course of centuries. The one that didn't make any sense was the Sunken Temple, which was a single, purpose-built structure with a mind-bogglingly confusing layout whose only justification was that it was designed for a video game. I mean, who, in reality, would design a building where, to get from the first floor to the second floor, you have to take a long staircase to the third floor, then take a different, shorter staircase back down to the second floor?

[siolfir]

58 minutes ago, RikOz said:

That's something I brought up in a WoW discussion about the convoluted layouts of some of that game's original dungeons, when I was contrasting two confusing dungeons to point out how one of them made sense and the other didn't. The one that "made sense" was Scholomance, and I pointed out that it wasn't a single structure, it was a series of unrelated structures that had been nailed together over the course of centuries. The one that didn't make any sense was the Sunken Temple, which was a single, purpose-built structure with a mind-bogglingly confusing layout whose only justification was that it was designed for a video game. I mean, who, in reality, would design a building where, to get from the first floor to the second floor, you have to take a long staircase to the third floor, then take a different, shorter staircase back down to the second floor?

I've been in several airports that do this. You can go from the 2nd floor to the 1st floor through a down escalator, but the up escalator goes to the 3rd floor. 3rd floor is departures, 2nd is arrivals.

Edited February 26, 2020 by siolfir

[Shred Monkey]

On 2/23/2020 at 8:30 AM, EmmySky said:

 

From the elevator, go left, then left again to get to the next one.

 

or....

 

go straight, then right, then left, then left, left again and a quick right, left then straight on to morning.

You're missing the fact that elevators just go between 2 floors to begin with instead of stopping at every floor like in a real building.  To make things worse, typically the elevator to the next floor is intentionally on the opposite side of the map.