D*cks in chat

[Shenanigunner]

A lot is said about the incredible quality of the CoX community, and session after session, year after year, I remain awed at just how damned good, pleasant and helpful this player base is. We've all hung out in other games where the majority of player interaction is abrasive, if not toxic. And recognize that this community sets a high, high standard.

 

That said, am I the only one seeing a huge rise in dickishness in the chats, especially Help, lately? Not abuse, exactly... it rarely rises to the level worth a /petition or GM involvement, but a... petty nastiness about things being discussed.

 

Four times now in less than two weeks, I've had something like the following encounter:

• NEWB: Can someone explain Combat Teleport?
• ME: Fast, short-range TP, can be executed repeatedly.
• BIGGUS DICKUS: Well, yes, three times.
  Hardly "repeatedly."
  You should learn something about the game before spreading misinformation.
  (Lengthy copy of exact power description from somewhere)
• [and on it goes, through multiple exchanges, no backing down, no sense at all that most Help answers are short and not exhaustively complete, etc.]
• Until... ignore.

 

Just... pointless, aspie-like latching onto a point and *not* *giving* *up* no matter how many other players ring in with calming words or agreement that my answer was short and reasonably correct. I didn't hit the one point that he sees as absolutely crucial, so [Rain of Arrows] it is.

 

Ruins the session for me. Sometimes the day. I may have to drop Help, and I do feel like I "give something back" there. All because CoX is an escape from the petty sh*t of everything else, as I suspect it is for many of us, and I don't want to log in with all my armor up, if you know what I mean.

 

Sigh.

[Apparition]

The very first thing I did on April 24th, 2019 was to remove the Help channel from my chat tabs.  The very first thing I did on March 31st, 2020 was to remove the General channel from my chat tabs.  I have never regretted either.

[Snarky]

i tend to ignore people like that without needing to "ignore" them.  my job is driving a semi in heavy city traffic.  i can cuss a bit to myself about the peeps being stupid, but i am ill advised to react.  and people will be stupid.  sometimes i point it out with a Snarky aside (pat pend) if i am busy having fun i just move on, unless they are actively spreading misinformation that might grief someone needing help.  but sure, tell me i said it wrong or that i tipo'd ti lal scewry.  okay.  your prob right.

[macskull]

The chat logs the OP describes seem unlikely, since I tried to make a character with the name Biggus Dickus but was unable to. (On topic - for what it's worth I wouldn't consider "use three times in x seconds and it goes on cooldown" to mean "repeatedly" either and I'd probably say as much.)

[thunderforce]

47 minutes ago, Shenanigunner said:

Four times now in less than two weeks, I've had something like the following encounter:

• NEWB: Can someone explain Combat Teleport?
• ME: Fast, short-range TP, can be executed repeatedly.
• BIGGUS DICKUS: Well, yes, three times.

What server is this on? I've not seen anything like this (specifically, the lengthy doubling-down) on Reunion, even speaking as a notoriously acerbic player myself.

[The_Warpact]

When I make a new toon Help and General are the first thing edited.

Not sorry,  Help is useless most of the time, General is just bs, and half the time LFG is anything but what it is for.

Solves alot of issues when they don't exist. 😉

[Grindingsucks]

Three times in a row is repeatedly.  He didn't say infinitely.  As short as the cooldown is, though, it's the next best thing.  But, yeah, people can occasionally be annoying.  General tab is the most distracting to me, which is why I remove it.  LFG and Help can be, sometimes, but I use them both and also like to help other people, when I'm able, so I haven't muted them.

[Doomguide2005]

I'm a lot like Snarky, I'd just ignore the old fashioned way and only respond in chat if they were wrong to the point of harm or just thank them for the detailed response.

 

Edit:  As for Help and General chat I don't remove them so much as move them to their own window which can be more readily ignored unless I'm into popcorn for a bit.

Edited December 21, 2020 by Doomguide2005
Afterthought

[cranebump]

UHmmmm, sounds like that person is a “rules lawyer.” Guess there must’ve been a bit of cross pollination from the ol’ tabletop. (sings thread title to tune of Girls on Film)

Edited December 21, 2020 by cranebump

[Doomguide2005]

6 minutes ago, cranebump said:

UHmmmm, sounds like that person is a “rules lawyer.” Guess there must’ve been a bit of cross pollination from the ol’ tabletop. (sings thread title to tune of Girls on Film)

And an uncivilized one at that ... or he might find himself getting eaten by this normally civilized "rules lawyer" 🤪  It's a tendency I have learned to rein in (I hope) until I know the recipient wants to get buried in 'the details'.

[PeregrineFalcon]

6 hours ago, Shenanigunner said:

Ruins the session for me. Sometimes the day. I may have to drop Help, and I do feel like I "give something back" there. All because CoX is an escape from the petty sh*t of everything else, as I suspect it is for many of us, and I don't want to log in with all my armor up, if you know what I mean.

I get what you're saying. There will always be jerks wherever you go. Home, work, grocery store, online video game, everyone. Ignore/block and move on.

 

My advice, for what it's worth, is that your entire life will be a lot happier if you don't let stuff like this affect YOU. Some one else being a jerk shouldn't make you feel down. It's not your fault, it's not your responsibility, and you shouldn't care. Block/ignore, have a good laugh at someone being a jerk/idiot, and then forget that it happened. Drama just doesn't matter.

[Ejlertson]

6 hours ago, The_Warpact said:

When I make a new toon Help and General are the first thing edited.

Not sorry,  Help is useless most of the time, General is just bs, and half the time LFG is anything but what it is for.

Solves alot of issues when they don't exist. 😉

I´d agree taht General is more or less usueless for anything than banter, but Help has been and is invaluable imo.
As a newly returned player the Help channels has beena treasurethrove of assistance and help and still is.
I do not know if its server specifiq (Im on Reunion) but I cant imagine removing Help from my tabs. 
I also feel obliged to assist if Im able in it, paying the help I got forward.

[Clave Dark 5]

6 hours ago, macskull said:

The chat logs the OP describes seem unlikely, since I tried to make a character with the name Biggus Dickus but was unable to.

Huh, I could have sworn I saw someone running around with that name.  Maybe they tricked the censor by swapping out and I for an L, that sort of thing.

[Grindingsucks]

Overall, I would say this game compares quite favorably compared to the communities of most games that I've been involved with.  But hey, it's the internet- you're always going to get the occasional D-bag, right? 😛

[Six-Six]

I think it varies greatly per shard. I play in Reunion almost every day for a min of 2 hours per session. I have never come across anything in Help or LFG that is anywhere near abrasive. In fact quite the opposite. People are genuinely trying to look for teams or look for people for teams, which usually works out for both parties. Help IS helpful. people would offer not only decent, but quite insightful feedback most of the time... and usually polite. Occasionally, the conversation will stray away from actual Help or LFG because of a funny thing mentioned or reaction, but it sets itself straight soon after. Again, rarely anything snarky (much less offensive) is said. I play a bit on Everlasting as well, and while I don't play as often in this shard, I have fairly the same experience as Reunion.

I tried Excelsior a while back, and I did notice a slightly different "trend" in the chat which I didn't care for. It was a good thing that shard's connection didn't agree with mine, so I don't visit Excel too often. Haven't had the chance or reason to visit Torchbearer or Indom.

[Ura Hero]

This used to happen fairly regularly on Excelsior.  I have the three biggest offenders on ignore now.  Epeen is something I can live without.

[Grindingsucks]

1 hour ago, Six-Six said:

I think it varies greatly per shard. I play in Reunion almost every day for a min of 2 hours per session. I have never come across anything in Help or LFG that is anywhere near abrasive. In fact quite the opposite. People are genuinely trying to look for teams or look for people for teams, which usually works out for both parties. Help IS helpful. people would offer not only decent, but quite insightful feedback most of the time... and usually polite. Occasionally, the conversation will stray away from actual Help or LFG because of a funny thing mentioned or reaction, but it sets itself straight soon after. Again, rarely anything snarky (much less offensive) is said. I play a bit on Everlasting as well, and while I don't play as often in this shard, I have fairly the same experience as Reunion.

I tried Excelsior a while back, and I did notice a slightly different "trend" in the chat which I didn't care for. It was a good thing that shard's connection didn't agree with mine, so I don't visit Excel too often. Haven't had the chance or reason to visit Torchbearer or Indom.

I think it's probably just a function of Excelsior being the most heavily populated server.  More players = more chances to get an abrasive tool spouting off.  🤷‍♂️

[Snarky]

I play on Excelsior.  Honestly I do not see this.  I play quite a bit, and eyeball LFG/Gen/Help whenever I am not ROFLSTOMPing 

 

I just finished about 7 months in WoW, so maybe I am numb to the experience. 

 

There are some random comments in the channels.  I have been called out a few times for responding in LFG instead of switching to General.  Some folks are strict.  Someone posts about setting up a 45 Synapse.  Me -"Back in my day we used to take 1:30 to do Synapse, uphill, both ways, in the snow"  Response from 3rd party "do not use LFG for chit chat"  Me "Grrrrr"  

 

That is about as spicy as I see it gets in the channels.  Hmmm, and I was the offender.  hmmmm. lol

 

I did have one idiot on Excelsior harass me for a couple months.  This was about a year ago.   But it was not in public.  THey really took offense at my playstyle, team tactics, and my suspect personal hygiene.  Would post PMs at me whenever I was on.  Freaking odd.  I am a old truck driver though.  So, unless you are banging on my cab with a hammer you prob are getting ignored by me.  Oh well.

[The_Warpact]

6 hours ago, Ejlertson said:

I´d agree taht General is more or less usueless for anything than banter, but Help has been and is invaluable imo.
As a newly returned player the Help channels has beena treasurethrove of assistance and help and still is.
I do not know if its server specifiq (Im on Reunion) but I cant imagine removing Help from my tabs. 
I also feel obliged to assist if Im able in it, paying the help I got forward.

I'm on Everlasting so there's that....however the wife is on the channels and occasionally she does Help someone but, most of the time its just a bs or bitchfest especially General. 

The only reason I still hang on to LFG is because of the constant MSR or Hami raids being conducted. All the rest is just an annoyance or ((I'm a hero here to save the day look at my fancy new tights)) stuff....

[Yomo Kimyata]

I avoid General unless I really feel like humorous banter.  There's just too much going on there.

 

I often participate on Help, one way or another.  The only issue there is sometimes people try to help when they don't understand the question and there is a lot of splaining.  But I chalk that off to people trying to help.  Some help topics are matters of opinion after all.

[Ghost]

I think you may just be remembering the few bad experiences, and forgetting that there are plenty of great ones

Ive seen...

- Players give other players influence to get started.  Players they didnt even know.  Ive created new toons, only to have someone walk up and offer me influence upon zoning into Atlas

- Players give other players purples, just because.    

- Players offer, and give help to others who may be trying to solo something, and are continually dying

- The other day, someone was asking about the email system after emailing themselves inf.  Apparently they emailed the wrong address.  Players were offering to replace the missing amount

- Lots and lots of questions answered in help, without snide remarks

I was on a Posi a few weeks back in which one player was level 7.  We all took time to run a couple missions with the player, to get him/her to 8 so they could run the TF with us.  No one was upset, and everyone took part. 

 

I play on Excelsior and Everlasting, so I cant speak for the other servers   

[UltraAlt]

14 hours ago, Shenanigunner said:

Ruins the session for me. Sometimes the day. I may have to drop Help, and I do feel like I "give something back" there. All because CoX is an escape from the petty sh*t of everything else, as I suspect it is for many of us, and I don't want to log in with all my armor up, if you know what I mean.

I like helping people.

I don't get involved with the general chat very often.

 

I use ignore and don't feel bad about doing it.

 

Like you said. The game is escapism.

If that guy is ruining the escape - ignore.

 

Don't look back and feel bad about it. That is the way that they want to behave. There are going to be a lot of people ignoring them one way or another.

 

There are plenty of cool people to engage and game with. 

Those that I ignore are in the minority, but I do probably put far more on ignore than other people do.

That being said, by putting them on ignore, I don't have to bothered by their behavior ever again.

 

I think it may have happened once since I've been back that someone said to another character (that I obviously couldn't see was chatting) "I think they have you on ignore". And that was that. No more talk about me ignoring someone. No one chastising me for ignoring someone. 

 

Using the help channel is an important way to help the community and no one that actually wants to take the time to try to help should be driven from the channel or made to feel bad because they provided help. The help channel isn't for attacking other players. Just ignore the trolls and move on.

 

 

[DoctorDitko]

Mostly on Torch, here.

Occasional snarks, usually nothing too toxic. General seems to be the banter channel, can't see ignoring that. What would I do with my time between missions?

 

Help is for helping, I can see being irritated if off-topic chat is seen there.

Statistically, though, I think we're still standard deviations toward the good.

 

I'm sorry to hear there are still jerks out in the wild.

Next thing you know, they'll be dupin' rares, then we'll be gone to the Americans.

(But there's no reason not to be civil about it!)

[EmmySky]

10 hours ago, PeregrineFalcon said:

I get what you're saying. There will always be jerks wherever you go. Home, work, grocery store, online video game, everyone. Ignore/block and move on.

 

My advice, for what it's worth, is that your entire life will be a lot happier if you don't let stuff like this affect YOU. Some one else being a jerk shouldn't make you feel down. It's not your fault, it's not your responsibility, and you shouldn't care. Block/ignore, have a good laugh at someone being a jerk/idiot, and then forget that it happened. Drama just doesn't matter.

Spot on!

 

Dont give anyone else the power to effect your mood.  This is very hard and I am still learning it myself.  I am in control of my actions and reactions and I tell myself that every single time someone spouts off and irks me LOL.  

[Shenanigunner]

Thanks, all. Was just bitching; appreciate the feedback.

Some general notes:

• Excelsior.
• No real names were used; that was not a clip from a chat log.
• Beginning to wonder if as few as one dick user is at the root of all these incidents, or at least a very small group.
• Ignore, ignore, ignore.
• I enjoy General most of the time; it's like Discording with a big team of friends who sometimes exasperate you.
• I hate to drop Help; for every time there's an hour about exactly what to do with Incarnate Threads (and I have some suggestions), there's five or six serious newb/journeyman questions that get good answers, and I can often chime in on those.
• I've been online for... ever. Probably longer than many participants here have been around. Wouldn't have even gotten irritated except for my high regard for the community quality and a wish to keep this pocket universe a pleasant escape from the Hell That Is 2020.

Back to it.