"Toxic" Community?.. My thoughts, feel free to add your own!

[Rathulfr]

3 hours ago, ZeeHero said:

It's not an official channel or the LFG channel, people dont form itrials there often. doesn't take a genius to realize I'm talking about Everlasting TFs.

 

I join all of my groups (including iTrials) from LFG, not custom chat channels.  A custom chat channel, by definition, is a self-selected subset of the larger population.  And I can imagine that it's theoretically possible for some subsets of any larger population to be a collection of people that are unsavory to me, or to whom I am unsavory.

 

I'm not familiar with the "Everlasting TFs" chat channel.  I didn't even know that it existed, and I've been playing pretty regularly since April of last year.  I never really needed a custom chat channel for TFs: regular/universal LFG usually works pretty well for me.   But if I were subscribed to it and I was made to feel unwelcome there, my choices are pretty obvious:

 

1. Fix whatever might be broken in my relationship with that group of people, if desirable or possible (which isn't always the case -- sometimes you just need to walk away).
2. Discontinue my association with that particular subset and seek out better alternatives.
3. Create my own subset with different conditions that are favorable to me and others with like minds.

But whatever choice I make to respond to this one subset of the population should not be used to paint everyone else outside of the subset with the same brush.  Nor should you allow them to disrupt your enjoyment of the game, because they don't have any power to affect how you choose to play it, unless you're limiting yourself to only playing with them and by their rules.  Free yourself: you don't have to seek out their approval, sanction, or participation.

 

Look, it sucks to be hurt and/or betrayed by folks you thought you knew and liked, and whom you thought liked you.  I know this because it's happened to me plenty of times, and seems to be a normal part of the human experience.  That doesn't make it better or suck less, but it's just life.  Move on, get a new community, or create a new community.  The power is yours.

 

[ForeverLaxx]

I never join custom chat channels. I don't use Discord. I almost never group. I don't put anyone on ignore.

 

I've ran into maybe 3 total people in the auto-join global chats who could have used a cold shower. One of them insisted on twisting my words and tried to get General to mount an assault on me for reasons I still don't understand. I'm sure a bunch of them still have me on ignore simply because that individual just kept shouting about how "ignorant" I was. The other two are what I call a "build Nazi" that belittles anyone for choosing any power that isn't the most optimal in world built around spamming AoEs, getting capped Defense, and maximizing global Recharge with IO builds. Those two are usually drowned out by everyone else though since most players are here to make their own character and not some cookie-cutter "totally the best at the stuff that matters" since nothing in this game is particularly hard to begin with.

 

That said, there was one instance when I was in an MSR that refused to invite me to any teams (announced in Broadcast that I was looking for any empty spots, multiple times) until eventually I got a /tell asking me to leave the zone so others could get inside. By that point I was annoyed about it and stayed in anyway, teamless. I'm sure it made a few people upset, but I was already in the zone before they started announcing anything, asked to join, and got ignored until they wanted me to make room for other people, so...

 

Beyond that? Everyone's been mostly great. The idea that our community is some massively toxic place that should be avoided just doesn't jive with my experience at all. A few annoyances, sure, but so unwelcoming that you'd actively tell people to find something else to play? I just don't see it. I'm more inclined to believe that people with that opinion are abrasive at the start and come off as overtly confrontational from the outset for some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy deal. They assume they're going to be kicked out, so they talk like it. I dunno... only thing that makes sense to me since I've always had the opinion that no one is important enough to be targeted by an entire server.

[Myrmidon]

13 hours ago, Shadeknight said:

Word jumble aside:
I agree with what some folks are saying. There's a way to go about it, and there is a group of people out there for you. Somewhere.

Over the rainbow.

An excellent point.

 

@ZeeHero, my advice to you is take the Bifrost and come over to Excelsior (don’t mind Heimdall, he’s just the welcoming committee). I spend more time in Pick Ups than anything else. You’ll find plenty of teaming of all types here in the LFG Chat.

Edited October 5, 2020 by Myrmidon

[Clave Dark 5]

I haven't seen anything worse that I ever did on Live, so big whoop, MO.  Even the worst arguments I've seen here don't hold a candle to the "comments" section of any news website, so we're far from suffering under "a terrible problem" here.

[Alchemystic]

I think the main issue is that usually it's the pot calling the kettle black.

 

A lot of people who point fingers at supposed toxic elements tend to be somewhat toxic themselves. Instead of simply avoiding the conflict, they instead engage them in a hostile way and give rise to further conflict. Sometimes these people will find their way into chat channels and forums where they call out the people they dislike for validation or support, and suddenly you've created your own little toxic clique too. It's an ironic cycle that perpetuates itself from people forming one group to spite another, and so on and so on.

 

I like to think most people can be rational, but some fail to see that they're actually the ones being problematic. 

[Lines]

1 hour ago, Myrmidon said:

An excellent point.

 

@ZeeHero, my advice to you is take the Bifrost and come over to Excelsior (don’t mind Heimdall, he’s just the welcoming committee). I spend more time in Pick Ups than anything else. You’ll find plenty of teaming of all types here in the LFG Chat.

 

No, come to Reunion! The chillest of all shards.

 

We have Croissants and Bratwurst.

[EmmySky]

8 minutes ago, Lines said:

 

No, come to Reunion! The chillest of all shards.

 

We have Croissants and Bratwurst.

mmm croissants!

[Lunchmoney]

12 hours ago, ZeeHero said:

doesn't take a genius to realize I'm talking about Everlasting TFs. 

Never heard of it.🤷 

I use LFG channel for all my group joining needs.

Custom groups, unless advertised in game a lot, tend to only be a certain subset of the player base. One has to know about it first of all, and then actively join it, whereas LFG is joined and on by default. 

 

If your entire issue is with people on this private channel, then why not leave it?

Edited October 5, 2020 by Lunchmoney

[Starforge]

The issue isn’t even with anything said in that global channel since they haven’t been in it as far as I am aware for over a year. Literally all it is is a global channel like the live servers used to have to set up raids, task forces and trials.

[Nafsmar]

6 hours ago, ForeverLaxx said:

I never join custom chat channels. I don't use Discord. I almost never group. I don't put anyone on ignore.

 

This is me as well.
 

I personally have never had an issue with anyone nor have I ever seen anybody being treated rudely In a chat channel. 

[jubakumbi]

3 hours ago, Lunchmoney said:

If your entire issue is with people on this private channel, then why not leave it?

This right here.

If what's happening in the chat box is not helping you have Fun, turn off the chat box.

Why is this so hard for so many people? <--- Serious question!

If there is a group of people that causes you stress in an MMO, ignore them and move on with life, those poeple are not worth the time and effort, IME.

 

Why on earth would people look for validation/acceptance from a bunch of random people on the Internet?

Screw 'em if they don't like you, go and enjoy your life, the small minded power-mongers that inhabit this community won't go away, but we don't have to give them air, either.

[chi1701]

Find a lot of toxicity when trying to discuss the disadvantages of the forms for keldians, but whats the point, nothing will change, players will still treat them as a second class archytype. Saying goes, jack of all trades master of none.

[Patti]

I sort of get it.   If you want to be social while you play but the societies you play with don't want you then turning off chat is  moot because it defeats the whole purpose of social play and if they kicked you out anyway then there's nothing to turn off anyway.  Catch 22-22-22.

[jubakumbi]

11 minutes ago, chi1701 said:

Find a lot of toxicity when trying to discuss the disadvantages of the forms for keldians, but whats the point, nothing will change, players will still treat them as a second class archytype. Saying goes, jack of all trades master of none.

...better than master of one.

 

JOATs rule, IMO...

[Starforge]

Buff human-only PBs.

[Carnifax]

6 hours ago, Lines said:

 

No, come to Reunion! The chillest of all shards.

 

We have Croissants and Bratwurst.

This. I've not ignored anyone, other than one poor guy who used to spam LFG for hours looking for a Farm (I mean hours, he could have made loads of levels just playing. Or designing his own alt-account Spines/Fire or whatever he'd just spam LFG every 3 mins for 2 hours). 

 

As for Khelds I've seen that "No Khelds" on Everlasting TFs, but never quite understood why. I mean my triform Warshade is fiddly to play but once I'm in the flow it's essentially a floaty thing with plenty of AOE and 85% resists across the board. Not great with AVs so maybe that's it? (Warshades should have some way to drop something which counts as a target and a corpse). 

 

 

 

[chi1701]

1 hour ago, Starforge said:

Buff human-only PBs.

tbh, think that is the only thing that would happen, and human warshades

Edited October 5, 2020 by chi1701

[Player2]

I've not seen any hint of toxic behavior.  But then maybe the article writer had one bad experience and then just chalked that up to the whole community.  Who knows, it might also be complete B.S. or a hit job spurred on by those people who criticize the Homecoming team and Leandro.  Haters gonna hate, and if they are (or have the ear of) someone from a gaming website of some repute, they might decide to throw some shade just because.

 

My play time with regular friends is rare and most of the time I just get into random groups via the LFG channel, and I've made a couple of friends along the way.

[skoryy]

All I'll say is y'all cast necrothread way too early for Festivus's Airing of Grievances.

[Oskmey]

12 minutes ago, skoryy said:

All I'll say is y'all cast necrothread way too early for Festivus's Airing of Grievances.

It is the Halloween season! It is the perfect time for the dead to crawl back out of the cold bucket and strike fear (and annoyance) into the hearts of all.

This is Halloween!

[Starforge]

1 hour ago, Carnifax said:

As for Khelds I've seen that "No Khelds" on Everlasting TFs

That’s just an inside joke between the raid leaders I’m guessing.

Edited October 5, 2020 by Starforge

[Ironblade]

17 hours ago, EmmySky said:

Of someone is abusive or harrassing...gignore and move on.  Now, there may be a limit on how many people you can put on that list, someone recently told me there is a limit to how many global friends you can have, so it stands to reason.

There is a limit on both lists but, IIRC, they work differently.

When you hit the limit on global friends and try to add another, it tells you your list is full.

 

I believe that when you hit the limit on global ignores, it automatically drops the oldest entry and adds the new one.  I'm not sure about this as I only have two people on gignore.

[Ironblade]

2 hours ago, jubakumbi said:

...better than master of one.

 

JOATs rule, IMO...

Exactly.  It's remarkable how many people do not know the full quote and use it as precisely the opposite of what it originally meant.

 

So many people simply say, "Jack of all trades and master of none."  This suggests that being a jack of all trades is a bad thing.

The original quote is "Jack of all trades and master of none.  But better than a master of one."  i.e.  Being a jack of all trades is BETTER than mastering a single trade.

[jubakumbi]

Just now, Ironblade said:

Exactly.  It's remarkable how many people do not know the full quote and use it as precisely the opposite of what it originally meant.

 

So many people simply say, "Jack of all trades and master of none."  This suggests that being a jack of all trades is a bad thing.

The original quote is "Jack of all trades and master of none.  But better than a master of one."  i.e.  Being a jack of all trades is BETTER than mastering a single trade.

Almost all of these old quotations have been turned on their heads from the original, all to make those that would go against the grain seem to be the bad apples...

[Ironblade]

15 hours ago, Rathulfr said:

But whatever choice I make to respond to this one subset of the population should not be used to paint everyone else outside of the subset with the same brush.  Nor should you allow them to disrupt your enjoyment of the game, because they don't have any power to affect how you choose to play it, unless you're limiting yourself to only playing with them and by their rules.  Free yourself: you don't have to seek out their approval, sanction, or participation.

This.

 

Let me tell a story from back on 'live'.

For background, I ran an entire coalition of SG's, I was an officer in a top 10 SG, co-leader in several other SG's, member of Paragon City Search And Rescue and I ran public TF's and trials on Saturdays with open sign-up on the forums.  I ran gladiator heal farms, PvP farms, etc.  I did A LOT.

 

There was a person, let's call him or her 'Player X'.  Player X ran a big SG, ran trials, raids, etc.  And, for reasons I could not fathom, Player X was disliked by a great many people.  When I ran some of activities, Player X would sometimes join, sometimes with a group of their friends and SG members.

 

And people would ask me, "Why are you letting them join?"  And the answer was because I did not have a problem with that person and I did not give a rat's ass if someone else did.  If someone found their presence intolerable, they could damn well leave but I wasn't going to tailor my invitations on the basis of who liked what other people.